I'm still sick. I mean, yeah, I wasn't expecting to be better in one day. But it's really annoying being sick for longer than a day.

My work is an iffy thing right now. I filled out the paperwork to keep me on as a regular employee, rather than just for seasonal. But because the season is over, the hours available have been cut. My boss has only been given so many hours to work with and has to fit in all her employees in that short time limit. So not just my hours have been cut. I've gone from working close to 40 hours a week to working less than 30.

This cold also came at a bad time. I can't afford to miss work. I need every penny I can get, but I also need my rest so that the cold doesn't get worse. If it gets worse I'll have to miss work. It's just a really big inconvenience. I've never known a cold to ever come at a 'convenient' time.

In other news, I haven't taken advantage of the after-Christmas sales. I haven't really seen anything that I've liked. Maybe when I get better I'll go out and see what's left.

I'd like to hang out with some of the people at work, but I have a feeling I don't really fit in with them. They've all known each other for quite some time. I'm friendly enough and I get along with everyone alright, but all the talk of possibly inviting me out with them has been only that, talk. Maybe one day that'll change.

I think that's it for tonight. I'll write again tomorrow.

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Nutang is back and I'm on it whenever I get the chance, but I'm still so far behind. I'm not even on the "most active members" list, I get and read and appreciate your comments, but I haven't had the right mind frame to comment back. I do read your entries, but I usually don't have time or, again, the right frame of mind for comments.

I'm sick, I'm not sleeping, I'm working crazy-weird hours ... my life, though not very active, is quite full at the moment.

My friend Matt has been in town for the last week and we got the chance to hang out yesterday. I've known him since freshman year and this is the first time I've seen him in over 5 years. We lost touch for a while, but thanks to the internet, we started talking again.

It was nice seeing him again, but he hasn't really changed much. He's immature and big ... he never grew into his big head though. {no kidding, no exagerating} We went to a few stores; he was nice enough to buy me the body jewelry I wanted and he bought some stuff for my sister too. He stayed for dinner and afterwards we hung out and talked. He had to leave though; I needed to get sleep. It was probably the last time I'll see him for quite a while again because I'll be moving before he has the chance to come back out to Vegas. Maybe we can work something out.

I'm excited about the body jewelry he got me. I now have a 10g in my tongue. It was a little difficult to get it in ... the 10g is a little bigger than a 12g. I ended up going into the bathroom and shoving it through my tongue. I'm happy with it though. I'm not sure if I'll go up another size; I think I'll keep the 10g in for a while before I decide whether or not to gauge it bigger.

Uhm, I think that's it for now. I'll try and comment on your entries later tonight, but tonight I plan on making up on the sleep I missed out on last night. 'Till next time.

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Alright, so I guess the cold decided it was close enough to the New Year. I'm not sick, but I've got a cold. My nose runs every time I look down or bend over. My cough ... I'm stuck with it regardless if I'm sick or not. I'm not running a fever; I very rarely do. And my mom says I sound congested. Not a big deal. I just don't want to push myself with the end result being pnemonia. I really, really can't afford to not work and I hate hospitals even more.

Anywho, my plans for today are to go out for a little bit, maybe to the movies and definitely to the store. Other than that, I'll be talking it easy.

Yesterday I went out with Lori and Tony to Target and Wal-Mart. I've got $19.40 left on the $100 card I received. It's sad just how quickly $100 disappears these days. What killed a good chunk of the card, though, were the two DVDs I bought. One was a late gift for ma. I also went online in search of the POTC3 2-disc limited edition DVD {which doesn't seem to be in stores anymore} and I bought it through Barnes & Noble. It'll be here in the next couple days.

Yesterday was a very mellow day at work. I know it won't be the same tomorrow. There's a truck tomorrow and I, unfortunately, have to work it. I'm going to do my best to not push myself, but the sooner we get the truck done, the sooner I can take a break. Maybe they'll send me home, but I'm not sick enough for that and I'm too stubborn. I can work, I just can't overwork myself. If that happens, I'll get worse and then I won't be able to work. This is not a good time for me to be sick. The holiday season is just about over and I really need to prove myself so that I can keep a permanent position at Big Lots. We'll see what happens.

Uhm, I guess Randy got over his being pissed at me because he called today. Damnit. I need to figure out something else that'll get him to stop calling. I don't want to be mean or cruel, but if it works ...

Uhh, that's it for today. I'll write probably tomorrow.

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We finally got the tree decorated around 2pm this afternoon. It looks busy, but we just have a lot of ornaments. It's about as good as we could get it though. We left the garland/tinsel off it, otherwise it would have looked busier.

The gifts I got this year were small, but I got the two most crucial things I wanted. The new Angels and Airwaves CD: I-Empire, and the new OneRepublic CD: Dreaming Out Loud. I got Pirates 3, but it's not the 2 disc special edition. I'm going to be keeping this one and probably giving it to ma when I find and buy the 2 disc DVD. I also go my calendar for next year, but that's something I get every year. I was with ma when she bought it. I also got a $100 VISA gift card. About the only place I can't use it is at work. Lame.

We'll be having dinner around 6ish. I don't like ham, but it's tradition for us to have a Honey Baked ham. With it we're having stuffing, mashed potatoes, steamed veggies, cranberry sauce {one of the grossest things ever, in my opinion} and 3 different kinds of pies for dessert.

I haven't got much to say. I'm happy that I go the two CDs I wanted. I mean, today could have been better, but it could have been worse. There's always something uncomfortable about the holidays for me, but I'm not really sure what it is. I mean, it could be that Dad isn't here, but it's been over 12 years now.

Unfortunately I have a feeling I'm starting to get sick. I can feel it in the back of my throat. The feeling has been there every morning for the last week, but this morning it didn't go away after I had been up for a while. I still have a week before I can get sick.

Alright, I'm done for today.

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We're running so far behind this year. We got the Christmas tree a couple days ago, but we didn't get it in the house until tonight. It had been in the backyard because we didn't have a tree stand. It's still not decorated.

I've only wrapped one gift. The other two that are taken care of, one is in a gift box; the other is in a gift bag. Not something that involves wrapping. I have gifts that need wrapping and I want my sister's help in doing so, but she's pissed off so I have a feeling I'll be doing it myself.

This year is not a good Christmas simply because we are so far behind. I don't think there could have been anything done differently to change it either. There just wasn't any time. Oh well.

I'm off work tomorrow simply because we are closed. If we were open, I'd probably have to work. I'm glad I don't, but ma has to work so we won't be really celebrating and opening gifts until she gets off work. Not a big deal though.

Alright, that's all I can think of right now. I need to shower before I go to bed so I'll write again tomorrow.

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Alright, this may be long, so don't say I didn't warn you.

Okay, real quick. The talent agency thing was just way too expesive and I just hate cameras too much. No, lemme rephrase that. I love cameras ... as long as I'm the one taking the picture. I hate being in the picture. And over time, altogether it would have cost me more than a new Hyundai.

Alright, now on to my ex situation. I haven't spoken to Randy since sometime in the middle of '05 so it's been close to 3 years since we've talked. His 21st birthday was on the 15th of this month so I text messaged his grandfather {the only number I still had on record} asking to wish Randy a happy early 21st birthday. I left it announymous, but I forgot to block my number before I sent it. {I don't even know if you can do that with a text message, but I wasn't thinking anyway}

I had forgotten about it till a few days later when he called me. I denied knowing him at first and the call ended. I should have just left it at that, but the dejection in his voice when I denied knowledge of him made me call back. That was the only time I called him. Other than that, he was the one calling me.

About a week later, he was still calling me every day. It was getting to the point where I didn't want to really talk to him anymore. I had nothing to say to him. And the shock of finding out he had two kids had just gotten me so tongue-tied that I couldn't think of anything else. So I was trying to think of a way to get him to stop calling me without flat out saying "stop calling me," but I'm not good at that kind of thing so I decided to just play it out till he got sick of calling me.

Well, last Friday night, he called me while I was at work. I talked to him for a bit and I started asking questions. Questions that were pulling at my curiosity. I wanted to know if he and the mother of his children had planned their kids, if they had planned on marriage and why he had full custody of both kids. I found out they had planned the first child {an 18month old girl}, but had not planned the second child {a 3 month old boy.} I also found out the reason he has custody is due to abuse on the mother's part.

I also found out that they had planned the kid, but not a marriage. That confused me a little and I told him that I didn't understand why you'd plan to have children, but not to get married. I also knew that talking about the mother of his children was a sore subject for him, but I let my curiosity get ahold of me.

Finally it pushed him over the edge and he wanted to end the phone call. I could tell he was pissed and I could also tell he was trying to cover it up.

He hasn't called me since. I hope it stays that way.

Anywho, that's the first installment of my detailed entries. And it'll probably be the longest. I'll write again tomorrow.

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