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The weather
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My Unkymood Punkymood (Unkymoods)
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so ... hmm
Wednesday. 9.26.07 12:32 pm
I can't think of a good title.

Right now I'm watching the HBO Justin Timberlake concert for the 5th time since it premiered. I wasn't aware that I like JT, but I'm oddly drawn to watching the concert. Oh well.

My friend is having an issue with her boyfriend right now that I'm trying my hardest to help her through, but there's only so much I can do. Especially with me being 364 miles away from her.

They got together during the summer so they had all the time they wanted to be with each other. When school started, it put quite a strain on the availability of both of them, but moreso him. He's got school, work, band, and pep band {which if you know, are two different things.} She's only got school and work.

He spends so much time with the band when he's not in class or working that it leaves very little, if any at all, free time. She gets jealous whenever he goes and hangs out with one of his friends or goes to band parties. To make it not sound so bad, he actually spends more time with all of them than his own girlfriend.

When he does spend time with her, he's either so tired that he doesn't really do much of anything but lie around or he focuses his attention on the TV and not so much on her. She feels as if there might be another girl, but I've assured her that's not it. He was cheated on and I know him well enough that he wouldn't push that kind of pain onto someone else.

Basically she's just not sure what to do about it. She's afraid that the relationship is falling apart and that there's nothing she can do to try and salvage it without it seeming pushy or clingy. I'm running out of ideas for her to try.

Anywho, I've decided that there's a very small part of me that's looking slightly forward to my birthday. For the most part its because being 21 will open up my job opportunities. The other part is so that I can drink out in public whenever I want. It should be fun times because I barely look 18. I'll get carded wherever I go.

The only thing I want for my b-day is a cake. I don't even know what "special birthday dinner" I want. Last year I had McDonald's {that I had to pay for} because the douchebag that took me out wanted to go drinking instead of buying me dinner like he had promised. The year before that I had dinner at my work because I had no life. I have even less of a life right now because back then I at least had work. Now, I have nothing. Ugh.

Alright, I don't know what else to say. That's it for this entry.

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that's uhh, A ... C ... phlegm
Monday. 9.24.07 5:03 pm
I'm pretty sure most of you have no idea what the title means, so I'll tell you. The ventriliquist Jeff Dunham had his second Comedy Central premiere last night and it was hilarious. It was actually funnier than his first special. The title is refering to something he makes one of his new characters say. The character's name is Achmed and he asked the puppet how you spelled it. Put two and two together and you should find it funny. Here's a quick video of different clips from the show. It was obviously made before the premiere, but its funny. If you haven't seen this guy perform {whether live or on TV} I definately recommend it; especially if you need to laugh. {my jaw and face hurt after watching the show because even if I wasn't laughing, I couldn't stop smiling. I also have both DVDs so I can watch them any time I want to laugh}

Anywho, I'm done with Radio Shack. My interview was rescheduled for today and when I got there, the right manager was there. However, he was the only one there and since he had been out for the past few days, he needed to catch up on inventory and couldn't interview me there. He was going to send me to another store for his boss to do the interviewing, but the store was about an hour drive away from the house and that's just too far for me. I'm not going to try back there again.

My mom took the car up to the shop today to get an estimate and the guy who looked at it told her it would probably be a total loss. Which means fixing the car would cost more than the whole car is worth. So basically, the car won't be fixed. The insurance company is going to send someone out to personally look at the car and the damage and will most likely end up giving us a check for the value of the car. It'll be at least a few thousand dollars, so we should be able to get another car. It'll be cheap, but hopefully it'll be better running than our current one.

Once I turn 21 I'll be able to apply at a convenience store and/or a casino. My mom suggested that if I work at a convenience store, the best one to work at would be Terrible's. Its a big enough corporation {its also a casion out here} that after 90 days, I'll be able to get health insurance, including dental and vision. If that happens, I'm going to see if I can put my mom and sister on my plan so that my mom and I can be covered for our vision and so my sister can get her long needed jaw work done. Mom has worked for that company twice before and the only thing she had complaints about was the uniform because she hates having to tuck in her shirt. Its something I don't mind, having had to deal with it for band and when I had to manage at the restaurant. So that'll definately be something I'll look into once my 21st has passed.

Alright, I think that's it for today. I know that the sections are longer than usual, but I didn't want to seperate the related sections.

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Saturday. 9.22.07 11:39 am
First things first. Today would have been my birthday as today was my actual due date. I didn't realize it until I got to Balloonapalooza and saw all the beer. If I had been born on my due date, as opposed to 13 days late, I would have been able to drink today! Gah!!!

I just had to get that out of my system. Anywho, I went to Balloonapalooza tonight with my mom and met up with my sister and her boyfriend shortly afterwards. We got there about half an hour before the balloon glow was over. They had regular hot air balloons, sponsored by certain compaines. And they had a few character balloons; the Wells Fargo Bees and Panda Express had a panda head balloon. I didn't get a picture of that one though.

It was nice. Mom saw a bunch of people that she knew through work; either coworkers or regular customers. One of the perks of working at a convenience store, I guess. I met a few more of her coworkers, one of which was pretty cute. He had a girlfriend though. Mom said that he was full of himself and I also found out he smokes. A definate no-go for me. He had the most brilliant blue eyes, though, and his tongue was pierced! A definate turn-on for me. {sorry is that's tmi for you}

Tomorrow they're going to be launching the balloons, but if I want to see them I'll have to be up at 6:30am. I'm seriously considering it. I'll be able to take pictures of them up in the sky. I really want to ride in one, but I'd have to go elsewhere to do that. It would be an awesome job to have: a balloonist. You'd get to opporate the flame! I'd be able to play with fire!

Alright alright, I've babbled enough. Here are the pictures I took from tonight. Once this entry has been pushed down, you can go to my gallery to see them:

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two weeks shy
Saturday. 9.22.07 2:17 pm
Alright, so yesterday first. I went and saw Good Luck Chuck. Lemme just tell you ... it was funny. I don't really care what people say about Dane Cook, I find him funny. And in this movie, oh god. Just ... wow.

Transformers is in IMAX now. I really want to go see it. I'm not sure how I'm going to, but hopefully I'll be able to find a way.

It was incredibly windy yesterday. There were sustained winds at 30mph with gusts up to 50mph. It was quite fun walking in it. The only thing was that living in the desert it was blowing around sand and dirt. That was the only part that wasn't fun. It stormed for a little bit last night. Nothing as serious as the last time it stormed. The wind made the rain sound like it was coming down harder than it actually was, but it wasn't that bad. They were predicting a 50% chance of rain today, but I would think it would be a little difficult to drop precipitation if there aren't any clouds in the sky. One unexpected thing happened during the storm last night. It caused snow to form on Mt Charleston. I don't know how much though cuz I can't see the mountains over the houses.

Anywho, back to the title. I am two weeks shy of my birthday. Actually its two weeks from yesterday, but I forgot to mention it yesterday. I'm lucky that my mom hasn't mentioned anything about it. She hasn't asked me what I want or if there's anything special for dinner that I'm looking to get. I hate those questions because I don't ever know. I'm sure I won't be able to avoid them forever; she'll probably start asking next week. And I can almost guarentee that I won't know then either. I doubt I'll know even the day off. Whatever. Its just another day.

Uhh, I don't know what else to say so I guess this is it for this entry.

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too good to be true
Friday. 9.21.07 12:15 pm
Well, to those of you who were wondering how my interview went yesterday, it didn't. I got there and the guy who was there said that the manager had a family emergency and he wouldn't be back until Monday. So I rescheduled my interview for Monday at 11. I knew that it was too good to be true. I just wasn't sure what was going to happen to make it that way.

I was able to sleep last night. I fell asleep just after 2am and I woke up briefly at some point early this morning, but I don't remember what time. Then I woke up again at 10:15am, decided that I was going to only lay there for another 45 minutes and then I'd get up. I ended up not waking up again until almost noon. That was about 20 minutes ago.

I've not quite forgiven the cat yet, but last night I was able to get him to stop wincing every time I went near him. See, yesterday morning I was so pissed off at what he did that I smacked him pretty hard and for the rest of the day, whenever I went past him, he'd look up at me and either scurry away or wince. Its not healthy for him so I finally managed to calm him down. He still looks up at me when I walk past him, almost as if waiting, but he stays put and doesn't wince. It'll be a little bit before I finally forgive him.

Anywho, today my sister, her boyfriend and I are going to see Good Luck Chuck. I've been looking forward to seeing this movie since earlier this year when I first heard about it. I'm excited, but not near enough for it to be obvious to other people. Very rarely am I ever excited enough about something that other people can obviously tell.

Is it sad when people get scared and cautious if they see that I'm excited and happy and smiling much, much more than usual?

This weekend they're predicting showers off and on all weekend. The past few days have been quite on the windy side, which usually indicates that there's a storm somewhere nearby. Usually, though, the storm is unable to make it over the mountains and all we get is just a lot of wind. The predicted storm {whether it comes or not} is bringing us much cooler temperatures. It was only a couple weeks ago, if even that, that it was still getting over 100 every day. The past few days haven't quite gotten past 90 for a high and right now, its only 72 outside. Actual decent weather. Still warm enough to be able to wear capris, flip flops and t-shirts, but cool enough that you're not sweating by the time you reach the end of your driveway.

The perfect temperature for me is between 65 and 75. Anything above 75 is just too hot for my liking. If it occasionally goes below 65 {no matter how far} is also fine for me. The only thing I really loathe about weather, be it hot or cold, is wind. When its nice outside and there's a cool breeze, I don't mind. But if its hot and windy, the wind is hot and uncomfortable. If its cold and windy, the chill causes my eyes to tear up. No matter the temperature, the wind always messes my hair up. Unless I have it pulled back into a bun and gelled to my head, which I haven't needed {or wanted} to do since I quit my job. Overall, wind sucks.

This weekend also holds Balloonapalooza II which is a "3 day hot air balloon festival with 2 stages of live entertainment, full carnival, circus shows, balloon glows and acensions." Its being held in the golf course across the street from where my mom works, so its right up the road from where I live. I really want to go up in a hot air balloon. I've been into them since before I can remember; my grandfather would take pictures from when he'd go to events and I'd love to look at them. My sister will be going early tomorrow with a group of her friends, but maybe when mom gets off work she and I can go. If I do go, I'll get pictures and I'll post them in my gallery.

Alrighty, I think this is long enough. Kudos to those who have read all the way through. And special kudos to those who comment.

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reluctant thoughts
Thursday. 9.20.07 7:52 am
I only got four hours of sleep again last night, only this time I was awoken to something quite unpleasant as opposed to yesterday simply waking on my own ... just at a fairly early hour.

The tears aren't coming anymore. Either because my eyes are just too dry or because I'm not allowing them to flow. I haven't been able to cry in a month so I had a good solid half hour of tear flow. Unfortunately, my mom and sister were awake so both of them saw. I know my sister doesn't care, but I don't want my mom to have to see it.

There's nothing I can do. I can't simply shut a door like the rest of them. I have no privacy.

I'm reluctantly thinking that maybe I shouldn't have left Tucson. I'd be able to cry every week or every day if I wanted. I wouldn't have to worry about anyone seeing against my will. I could cry as long and hard as I wanted to. Here, I can't.

I can't do anything here.

But if I were in Tucson, I'd still be working the same job that I hated. I'd still be dealing with the complete lack of opportunity to get my license {and even though it seems to not be happening here either, the opportunity is still there.} I'd have friends, but I'd still be alone most of the time.

I can't win. Its almost like I'm not supposed to be happy. Every time I'm excited or looking forward to something, something else happens to kill my mood.

I wish ... I just wish.

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