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one month from today ...
Wednesday. 9.5.07 4:35 pm
I'll be 21. I'm not excited about it anymore, as I've said. I mean sure, I still have a month to change my attitude towards it, but I highly doubt my mood is going to change about it. Whatever. I already know what my mom is getting me. Its already been discussed from a few years ago; when we were out in Vegas the last time. She'll be giving me $100 cash and letting me loose in the casinos. I'm not expecting anything from anyone else. I don't really want anything from anyone else. The only thing I have to have on my birthday is a chocolate cake. Its a must have on my birthday. Other than being able to go anywhere I want in a casino and getting a cake just for me, October 5th has no significance for me. It will mean just the same this year as any other.

I got the pool key and pass so tomorrow I will definately be going swimming. I don't think I'll be able to walk there because the blister is still not healed. What I didn't think of was that my mom is off work tomorrow so she'll be able to give me a ride if Charlotte can't. I was told that I needed to call Charlotte in the morning before I go to see if she'll be going with me. So that's what I'm going to do. Part of me hopes she can so that I won't be alone in the pool, but another part doesn't want her to be able to go cuz I don't really know her and would be a little awkward at first. Oh well. Either way I'll be happy.

The modem has been giving me problems lately. Its not the router anymore. I've had to reset the modem a few times in the last week or so. Its getting really annoying. AllI want to do is go on the internet and go about my business, but I can't cuz the stupid modem wants to be difficult. Whatever. Its working fine now.

I wasn't so lucky as to have a quiet house again today. Yesterday it was really nice. Even though everyone was home, the house was still quiet. All I could hear, aside from the small noise I was making, was Lori's TV because Tony was over and she has to keep her door open. Only mom and Jean are home right now and its getting louder and louder. Gah! I guess its a good thing I'm not watching anything important on TV.

I'm reading {or trying to read} the book The Vampire Lestat. This is the third time I'm attempting to read the book and its just not catching my attention. I have no idea why. I was able to get into {somewhat} and read through and finish Interview With A Vampire, but this book just isn't doing anything for me. Maybe tonight I'll get off the comp early and get myself into a determined attitude to read into this book.

Uhm, I think that's it for today. I'll write again whenever.

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screaming in protest
Tuesday. 9.4.07 4:14 pm
I finally took the time to find out how long it would take for me to walk from here to the apartments where the pool is. So I got up, got dressed {figuring I'd be hot when I got back so I'd save my shower for later} and headed out the door.

It took me 20 minutes to get to the apartments. It was hot, but the sun was on my back so it wasn't as hot. I got to the playground, right before the pool and decided that I'd turn around and head home.

When I was walking back, the sun was in my face. The wind was blowing harder than when I had left the house and it was a hot wind. I got down to the intersection, which marked the halfway point and stopped to wait for the crosswalk signal to tell me it was okay to cross.

That's when my legs started screaming at me. I haven't walked that far since I left Tucson ... actually, this is farther than the distance between my old apt and my old job. I started to get impatient, knowing that I needed to start walking again before the screaming became worse. Finally the signal changed and I crossed. My legs stopped screaming, but they were still sore.

I got just across the intersection and I was on my last strech home, when I realized just how hot I was. My mouth had suddenly dried up, despite the gum I was chewing to help keep the saliva going. The sun was beating on my face and the whole front of my body. I had to fight my stomach from trying to jump out of my mouth and I had to keep my legs moving. {when I got home, I glanced at the weather indicator I have and at 11:30am it was 101}

When I finally got to the road that led to the house, I gave up trying to keep my hair from blowing too wildly in the wind. I no longer cared what I looked like; I just needed to get inside and out of the heat. I was about to pass out.

I get inside, drop my keys on the table and take a giant swig of water. I drained most of the 1/2 liter bottle in less than 10 seconds. Bad idea. A few minutes later, I ended up dry heaving and the only thing that came up was the water that hadn't quite made it to my stomach. It was not fun.

I was still out of breath and decided to take a shower to wash all of the sweat off me and maybe the hot water would relax my muscles. It didn't really help. I had to sit down 3 times while in the shower and each time I put my head back to wash out the shampoo, I had to fight to stay upright and to keep the rest of the nothing in my stomach from coming back up.

Once I got out of the shower, I put on pajamas and layed down on the couch. After about 10 minutes I had managed to calm my breathing down to normal and I decided to try and sit up without the contents of my stomach shifting. It worked.

I slowly, after a little bit, was able to get up and walk around without feeling nauseous. I drank more water, only much slower this time as to not upset my finally settled stomach. After another short time, I felt that I should eat something; thinking maybe that would help. I heated up leftovers from last night and it helped.

I'm fine now, with the exception of a small blister on my Achilles tendon from my ankle bracelet rubbing against it between it and the shoe. I won't be able to wear my shoes until it heals. So that means that walking is out of the question until it goes away. I'm definately not going to walk that kind of distance in my fuzzy flipflops. Maybe if I had normal ones, but since I don't . . .

On Thursday I might see if mom's coworker can come pick me up {if the blister hasn't healed} so that we can go swimming. If it has healed, I might walk there, but bum a ride off her on the way back. I might even drive myself, seeing as how its her car that I'll be taking my road test in. Its a little bigger than my mom's car so I'll need to get the hang of the different vehicle.

And that was my day. I don't have any other plans tonight except to eat dinner and chill out at home. Besides, this entry is plenty long enough so I think I'll end it now.

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Monday. 9.3.07 7:37 pm
So I'm probably going to start my walking/swimming routine on Thursday. I was hoping to have started it by today, but Thursday works just as well.

I'm done with Charlie completely. I went on his myspace page, as I tend to do every few days or so, and saw something missing. The comment I left him. He deleted my effing comment! It wasn't even anything offensive or too direct or something like that. Actually, it wasn't even words! This Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket is what I posted as a comment. And he deleted it! What a douchebag.

I've been watching the show How Its Made on the Discovery Science channel all day. They're running a marathon. Some of the things are quite interesting. Other's hold no interest for me.

It was hot again today. No surprise though. It'll be hot every day up until sometime in mid November.

The one male in this household of 5 decided to put his y chromosome to use and he grilled up dinner. We had grilled pork chops, bratwursts and mini corn-on-the-cobs. We also had garlic cheddar mashed potatoes with it. There are plenty of leftovers. I would have had seconds, but I couldn't resist having a couple donuts about an hour before dinner was ready so my stomach couldn't handle any more food. Dinner was done almost two hours ago and I still feel as if I'm about to burst. It was tasty though.

Uhm, I think that's it for today. I shall write again whenever.

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One less day
Monday. 9.3.07 1:55 am
I'll have one less day of limitted alone time seeing as how tomorrow is Labor Day and only my mom has to work. I'm stuck dealing with my sister {who I don't mind being stuck with} and the two roommates, Jean and Steve. I don't mind Steve so much, because he's considerate and stays quiet so that I can sleep. But Jean just doesn't care. She needs to move the fuck out.

My mom's coworker has no problem with me using her key and pool pass to get into the pool in her apartments. She even said that if I go swimming on Thursdays she'll go with me. It would be nice to have company. If the office asks on a day that I'm alone, I'll just say that my aunt Charlotte told me I could use the pool. She's old enough to be my aunt and she looks close enough to be distant family so it would work.

We were in an excessive heat warning today and tomorrow we're in an excessive heat watch. Then we'll be getting down to 97 by Thursday, but we'll be back up to 100 by the weekend. I know that I've already talked about this, but its just so hot. And I've got nothing else going for me so give me a break.

Anywho, I was watching this show earlier on the National Geographic channel called Taboo: Outcasts. It was basically exactly as the title suggests; the people who have been cast out of their "group" or "family," etc because they are different from the "norm."

They had a few psychologists on the show to talk about why people felt the reason to outcast others who are different from them and its simply because they fear difference. What really irked me was when they were showing the guy known as the Lizard Man and she was saying how it was a cry for help the way he has transformed his body.

On another show, Taboo: Body Modification, they talked more in depth about why a person would pierce or tattoo their bodies to such extremes. Even someone like myself or my sister would be questioned {and are, on occasion} about why we've done the things to ourselves as we have. I have three tattoos and 11 piercings. My sister has 18 piercings, but all of them are in her ears; 9 holes in each one. Its nothing extreme like the Lizard Man, and never will be, but psychologists like to tie us all in together.

It pisses me off that people who don't like it themselves question and constantly badger us about why we've done it and what would happen when we get older and decide we don't want it anymore. The piercings are easy enough; all we have to do is take them out. Tattoos are a little harder to get rid of, but you can very easily cover them; as long as you don't have your face or hands tattooed. If you really, really don't want it anymore, you can have it removed by way of laser. Its expensive and, I hear, very painful.

I bet those people don't question and badger people who are vegetarians or vegans about their chosen lifestyle. I bet they also don't ask why a person would dye their hair or get their nails done or drink alcohol. All of which can do damage to your body in one way or another.

It just pisses me off.

Alright, I think I'm done ranting for tonight. I'll try and write more tomorrow.

{btw, if you want to read the rant I did earlier on blackfire, the password is rant. I was pissed off and upset so it all just kind of came out in a jumble}

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Saturday. 9.1.07 6:45 pm
This past week has been about 10 degrees above average for this time of year. We've also been in a heat advisory or warning for the last week. Tomorrow is supposed to be 109. That's seemingly nothing compared to Lake Mead or Death Valley. The high tomorrow at Lake Mead is supposed to be 116 and in Death Valley, 122. Ugh.

By Thursday its supposed to be down to 97, but then by the weekend it'll be back into triple digits. Damn desert heat.

I've been watching a show on what would happen if we had no moon. Some of the theories make sense, but others are just dumb. I've also been giving my own personal commentary on the show. Even though some of the outer space stuff catches my interest, I'm more interested on the animal life here on earth.

I'm almost done with Absolute Fear. I would have been finished last night, but around 3am, I was yawning more than once every 5 minutes and I was having a lot of trouble focusing my eyes on the words. So I finished the chapter I was reading and shut the book. I will be done tonight, though. The only unfortunate thing about it is that I'll need to find another book to read. Time to go raid my sister's collection. I'd go through mine, but its buried in the garage somewhere.

I'll find it one day, but I'd need to climb over a lot of stuff to get to it. There's a small 2ft wide walk-way going from the door into the garage to the garage door. The rest of the two car garage is full of boxes, totes, furnature and other odds and ends. It could take a long while before its discovered and completely "unearthed."

Uhm ... I've just sat here for the last, I dunno, 10, 15 minutes trying to think of something to write about and nothing is coming to me. So I guess I'll write again whenever.

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4 hours 30 minutes
Friday. 8.31.07 6:26 pm
That's how much sleep I got last night ... err, rather this morning. I went to bed at 5am {which seems to be my recently regular "bedtime"} and I was up at 9:30am. I set my alarm for 8am and it woke me up, but I didn't get up with it. My mom woke me up at 9:30 to let me know that she was going to get in the shower and that we'd leave afterwards.

While she was in the shower, I got up and got on the comp for a little bit. When she got out, I went in and got dressed to go out.

I've come to the resolution to lose weight. I need to at this point, if I want the clothes I have to continue to fit me. They still do fit, but barely. So I'm gonna ask my mom's coworker if I can borrow her pool key and pass so that I can go do laps in the complex pool. I'll use the one that's on the opposite end from the office so as not to attract too much attention to myself. And since this is Vegas, I'll be able to keep it up for at least another few months before it gets too cool to go swimming. I'll walk to the apartments; they're right up the road, go do laps for about an hour and then walk home. It would allow me to work out and possibly attempt at getting tan at the same time. If the coworker says yes, I plan on doing this three days a week.

Anywho, back to the day. We went to mom's work first to pick up her check. Afterwards we went to the bank and then headed up north to pay the rent. After the rent was paid we stopped at home real quick so that mom could make a list of things to get at the store. After the store, we came home. She asked me if I wanted to go anywhere else, but I didn't really want to.

That was my exciting day. Ha. Something fairly interesting happened last night. I was texting back and forth with my sister so when my phone alerted me that I had a text, I thought nothing of it. I opeded the phone to see that the text was not from her, but from Stuart. Now, I hadn't talked to him in a few days and it seems to be easier and easier to resist the urge to text him. So it caught me a little off guard.

The gist of the conversation went from me still not having a job to his ankle to his friend coming back to visit for 10 days. When I teased saying that ten days was plenty of time to catch up and have fun, but that I knew how it was to not want something like that to end, his immediate response caught me really off guard and I got annoyed at myself for my reaction. His text stated "you need to come back and visit." It made me smile and be happier than I should have been. I made myself concentrate extra hard on the book that I was reading so that I wouldn't be able to let my mind to get too carried away. The text convo ended with that and I had to resist the urge to ask him why. But I resisted and kept on reading. I'm going to wait till he texts me again, but its going to be on my mind more than it should.

Alright, I think I'm done. I shall write again whenever.

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