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Another day of nothing
Wednesday. 7.25.07 10:27 pm
The title basically explains what I did today.

Last night was the first night in a while that I went without talking to Stuart. It bothered me, but there's not really a whole lot that I could do. I'm determined to not be the one to contact him first. I want him to want to talk to me. And not to talk to me simply because I want him to.

Tomorrow should be interesting. I don't know how long I'm going to be out, but I do know that I will definately be going out. We're aiming for around 11 or 12 so we'll probably be gone for the greater part of the afternoon. I'll be sure to elaborate about my day tomorrow night when I get on.

I'm so confused about the whole Stuart thing. Its starting to drive me crazy. Its really odd that the bathing suit I wear now used to make me think of my ex. Its been almost 3 years now, though, so my ex is no longer the one it makes me think of. Instead, I wore this the night that Stuart took me to the pool so it now makes me think of that night. Even reading HP6, there was a part in that book that made me think of the night at the pool. There seems to be no escaping Stuart.

Anywho, I was hoping that Charlie would have called me by now. I kinda wanted to hang out with him this weekend. He told me that he would call when he wasn't busy. I've decided that I'm going to wait for him to call, but if I still haven't heard from him in a week, I'm going to message him and see if he'd be up to hanging out next weekend. I really hope he calls me though. I do want to see him. Its been about 5 years.

Alrighty, that's it. I can't think of anything else to say. I'll write tomorrow.

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Son of a B
Tuesday. 7.24.07 4:48 pm
So I was told that my final cable bill would only be about $50. Well, it is; its $54 and change. However, since I was unable to return the cable box, they're charging me the $225 for it. I don't have the $279 to just simply cough up. I have until the 12th of August to pay it, but I don't know if I'll have the money by then.

This is going to screw up my credit. I've never made a late payment, ever. I need to get a job so that I can pay this, but even if I got one soon, I don't know if I would receive my first check in time to pay it and if it would even be enough! Fuck.

I really hate how shit works sometimes. Its fucked.

Anywho, I was up till around 6 this morning. Stuart texted me at 4:30 asking if I was going to come back from being idle {refering to myspace IM} so I woke up my comp and talked to him for a bit. After about 15 minutes of not talking, I decided that he was busy and that I was going to go to bed. When I told him this, he started talking to me again; I think he was trying to keep me up longer. He kept telling me that it was only 5:30 and there was no point in going to sleep yet. I finally convinced myself to get off the comp and lay down. I didn't get up till a little before 2.

Its overcast right now, but there's no sign of rain yet. It drizzled for a few minutes last night, but nothing more than a few drops here and there. Nothing even close to remotely resembling actual rain. The clouds out there right now are dark and resemble rain clouds, but its not going to happen so I'm not getting my hopes up.

Gah! I'm so frustrated right now. Its partially my fault for not confirming that the office picked it up, but I mean come on. I can understand them throwing out the furnature that was left there, but a cable box? That's not trash!

Meh. Wish me luck in finding a way to come up with the almost $300 in the next couple weeks.

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Procrastination city
Monday. 7.23.07 6:15 pm
I was supposed to go out today. Key words: supposed to.

Last night I stayed up the whole night. I finally layed down a little after 8am. I really should work on not letting Stuart affect my decisions when it comes to staying up or sleeping. But I just can't help it. At least not right now. I try and I'm succeeding a little, but not enough.

After my mom got home from work we were supposed to go out so that I could get a few things, so that I could drive and so that I can apply at certain places. I didn't get up till almost 3pm and when she got home a half hour later, I just wasn't up to going out. I am procrastinating to the extreme right now.

The plan now, is that the three of us {my sister, my mom and I} will be going out early-ish on Thursday. We'll be hitting the DMV first so that my sister can get her permit and so that I can get an updated ID. After that we'll probably be going to the bank {unless we go before then} so that my mom can put the money that she owes me back into my account. Once that happens, I'm not sure exactly which stores we'll be going to, but we will be hitting the stores. Mostly so that I can apply for jobs, but so that we can do some shopping too.

I don't have a whole lot to talk about. I got a new purse yesterday. Its a little bigger than what I'm used to, but its cute so I'll get used to it.

K, I'm done.

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Screw the internet
Sunday. 7.22.07 7:33 pm
So I just spent the last 5 or so hours trying to figure out why my internet was suddenly not working. I took about a half hour break in the middle so that I could eat dinner, but then I was right back to the comp. In the process of trying to figure out the connection, I apparently clicked something and ended up having to do a whole computer restore back to yesterday {since it was working just fine yesterday}

Even after that, the connection still wasn't working. It was at this point that I thought maybe it was the router or the router connection to the other computer. {it was at this point also, that I wanted to just stab something or punch something; I didn't though} So I got on the other computer and apparently something had happened cuz it wasn't even detecting the router. What I ended up doing was completely uninstalling the router and reinstalling it.

Obviously its working fine now, but I'm not going to turn off my comp anymore. I'm going to be nervous if I have to even restart it for one reason or another. The connection was fine yesterday and last night and I turned it off like I always do before I go to bed. When I turned it back on this morning, it wasn't working. So now I'm just not going to turn it off.

Anywho, not much has happened in the way of progress. I still haven't been able to get out and look for a job. And its just too hot to walk. Even if I were to take a bus around, I'd still have to walk the distance to the bus stops. In this heat the less I have to walk out in it, the better. Back in Tucson, I still hated walking in the heat, but I lived right across the street from my work and the store and some fast food places so I was only out in it for 10, 15 minutes tops. Here, I live quite a distance from the nearest anything so it would take a good 20 or 30 minutes to get anywhere. Also, working in a restaurant, you were going to sweat anyway. If I were to get a job here, it would be more professional and the sweat would not exactly scream professional.

My mom said that tomorrow after she gets off work, she's going to come home and then we're going to go out to certain stores. I need to buy a few things to get myself settled in a little more {like hangers and mini storage containers so that I'm not living out of a suitcase} While there, I'm going to be asking for applications or filling them out at the designated stations. I'm still a little nervous about driving around the Vegas streets, esp at rush hour, but it shouldn't be too bad. I haven't driven in over 3 years, but the last time I was driving my mom's minivan. This time she has a small, little '93 Nissan Sentra. I should be much more comfortable driving it. Except that the brakes on it are horrible so I'd have to borrow another car in order to take the road test.

So asking about what kind of car my mom has sparked a whole 20 minute long conversation and I have no idea what else I was going to write about. So I guess that means that this entry is over. Till next time ...

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Its starting to bug me...
Saturday. 7.21.07 12:55 am
~~ I'm pretty sure this is going to be a rant ... so don't say I didn't warn you ~~

I'm getting more frustrated now, rather than upset, about the whole Stuart "situation." I like him much more than I actually should, especially considering we were never together; we were never a legitimate couple. Its something that I am very well aware of and I accept that we weren't in a relationship, but I don't understand why I feel as strongly towards him as I do. I want to text him right now, but I'm thinking that maybe if I don't talk to him every night {like I'm used to doing} then maybe it'll help. I really don't want to not talk to him though. Gah! Why do things have to be complicated when it comes to liking a person and getting over them?

Another thing that's bugging me is that I've been here for a week and I feel like I've not accomplished anything. I've bought a wireless router for my computer and I've gone out with my mom to the store and to pay bills. That's about it. Its pretty difficult, though, with my mom working during the day. She has the car and its not available to use until 3:30 or later. That puts quite a restriction on my hour availability when looking for jobs.

I need to get so many things done. I have set goals for myself, to get these things by a certain time and yeah, I've only been here for a little less than a week, but I still feel like I've done nothing.

Let me break it down ...
Things that I need {in no particular order}:
~ a car {I want to have this by Oct. 1st}
~ my license {I want this by Aug. 31st}
~ a job {I want this by Aug. 1st}
~ my own apartment {hopefully I'll have this by Christmas or the New Year}
~ money {I just need this ASAP}

Things that I want/need {again, in no particular order}:
~ a new wardrobe {some of the clothes I have I've had since high school}
~ to plan for my week long trip back to Tucson in the beginning of October {I really want this to happen only cuz I sort of promised some people that it would}
~ new friends {I'm sure these will come with the job}
~ a boyfriend {and I mean a real boyfriend ... something I haven't had in 3 years}
~ my freedon {this is more a need, but I'll keep it at an even 5 for each set}

Ugh, I've lost my train of thought again. The thoughts keep racing too fast for me to get them out before they're gone again. Maybe tomorrow I'll have more sorted out to write about.

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a non-entry
Friday. 7.20.07 1:55 am
I've got too many things going through my mind right now to write out actual entry. I can't focus enough to get it out in an entry.

Maybe I'll write tomorrow if I can get it all sorted out enough.

*self thought*
I have a link to my Nutang on my myspace page ... I wonder if anyone clicks it ...

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