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My Unkymood Punkymood (Unkymoods)
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running late
Monday. 12.24.07 10:40 pm
We're running so far behind this year. We got the Christmas tree a couple days ago, but we didn't get it in the house until tonight. It had been in the backyard because we didn't have a tree stand. It's still not decorated.

I've only wrapped one gift. The other two that are taken care of, one is in a gift box; the other is in a gift bag. Not something that involves wrapping. I have gifts that need wrapping and I want my sister's help in doing so, but she's pissed off so I have a feeling I'll be doing it myself.

This year is not a good Christmas simply because we are so far behind. I don't think there could have been anything done differently to change it either. There just wasn't any time. Oh well.

I'm off work tomorrow simply because we are closed. If we were open, I'd probably have to work. I'm glad I don't, but ma has to work so we won't be really celebrating and opening gifts until she gets off work. Not a big deal though.

Alright, that's all I can think of right now. I need to shower before I go to bed so I'll write again tomorrow.

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detailed: part one
Sunday. 12.23.07 11:14 pm
Alright, this may be long, so don't say I didn't warn you.

Okay, real quick. The talent agency thing was just way too expesive and I just hate cameras too much. No, lemme rephrase that. I love cameras ... as long as I'm the one taking the picture. I hate being in the picture. And over time, altogether it would have cost me more than a new Hyundai.

Alright, now on to my ex situation. I haven't spoken to Randy since sometime in the middle of '05 so it's been close to 3 years since we've talked. His 21st birthday was on the 15th of this month so I text messaged his grandfather {the only number I still had on record} asking to wish Randy a happy early 21st birthday. I left it announymous, but I forgot to block my number before I sent it. {I don't even know if you can do that with a text message, but I wasn't thinking anyway}

I had forgotten about it till a few days later when he called me. I denied knowing him at first and the call ended. I should have just left it at that, but the dejection in his voice when I denied knowledge of him made me call back. That was the only time I called him. Other than that, he was the one calling me.

About a week later, he was still calling me every day. It was getting to the point where I didn't want to really talk to him anymore. I had nothing to say to him. And the shock of finding out he had two kids had just gotten me so tongue-tied that I couldn't think of anything else. So I was trying to think of a way to get him to stop calling me without flat out saying "stop calling me," but I'm not good at that kind of thing so I decided to just play it out till he got sick of calling me.

Well, last Friday night, he called me while I was at work. I talked to him for a bit and I started asking questions. Questions that were pulling at my curiosity. I wanted to know if he and the mother of his children had planned their kids, if they had planned on marriage and why he had full custody of both kids. I found out they had planned the first child {an 18month old girl}, but had not planned the second child {a 3 month old boy.} I also found out the reason he has custody is due to abuse on the mother's part.

I also found out that they had planned the kid, but not a marriage. That confused me a little and I told him that I didn't understand why you'd plan to have children, but not to get married. I also knew that talking about the mother of his children was a sore subject for him, but I let my curiosity get ahold of me.

Finally it pushed him over the edge and he wanted to end the phone call. I could tell he was pissed and I could also tell he was trying to cover it up.

He hasn't called me since. I hope it stays that way.

Anywho, that's the first installment of my detailed entries. And it'll probably be the longest. I'll write again tomorrow.

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one great big sigh of relief
Sunday. 12.23.07 12:39 am
I'm so, so, so happy that NuTang is back. Again Dave, you are the master.

I've got a little bit of time before I can pass out for the night so I'ma write a very short review on stuff that's been going on {at least stuff that I can remember}

~ The talent agency thing is a no go. It's just too effing expensive and the camera thing is just not for me

~ I've been working all kinds of crazy odd hours. Yet I still manage to stay under 40 hours a week. Though lately it's just barely. It should slow down and even out once the holiday is over

~ I contacted my ex to wish him a happy birthday and forgot to block my number. He kept calling me and I wanted him to stop, but I'm not good with being mean if I have no motive. I've long since gotten over him so I'm not hostile anymore. I unintentionally hit a hard nerve a few nights ago and I think that's what's gotten him to stop calling me. I hope it stays that way. I have a feeling it will.

That's it for now. I'm uber happy that NuTang is back. But I'm tired so I'll write tomorrow.

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I've got it
Friday. 11.30.07 11:36 am
Alright, I know what to blog about now.

The whole Mario situation, I'm over it. It's a really big waste of energy to be even slightly upset about him deleting me from his friends list. It was most likely because of the situation going on at home, at the time, and my little issue was just piled on top. But I'm over it.

And I'm quite happy right now. It's dark, cloudy and rainy today! Who gets upset when it rains? Sure as hell not me. I love this kind of weather. It's so much better than the sun.

I'll be lucky if this weather persists throughtout the entire length of the day, but as long as it gets me through till when the sun is supposed to set, I'll be good. I'm even okay if it doesn't rain the whole time. As long as the clouds stay, it'll keep me happy.

Anywho, that's about it for blogging right now. I was going to just wait till the end of the day and write about my day, but I needed to write something so that the depressing entry below this was not the first one people saw when they clicked on my page. I shall write again whenever.

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I guess this is what I was expecting
Wednesday. 11.28.07 11:11 pm
I knew he didn't like me, but I think I waited too long to find out for sure.

Now I know. Or at least I think I do. I think he found out I liked him and didn't like it. He deleted me from his friends list and it hurts a little.

I guess this saves me any more trouble. I can go back to being alone.

Sometimes, I really hate the hands life deals.

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my life is turning into a soap opera
Wednesday. 11.28.07 3:42 pm
I really don't like the way things are starting to become. All the shit that's going on right now is going to drive me crazy.

Work issues that basically ma is the one dealing with, but because I'm back at home, I can be {and most likely will be, against my will} involved at any point in time. I'm not going into details because it's not really for me to tell, but it could compromise my crushing situation.

Because Mario works with ma, if I become involved with him and he comes over to the house, he'll see the home situation and might say something at work. It's not exactly a win-win for me. I'm being jeopardized by the issues going on with my mother.

It's times like these that make me really, really miss living on my own. I liked not knowing everything that went on at the house. Now I'm forced to know everything simply because I'm here.

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