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System betrayal
Monday. 1.23.17 1:32 pm
When you get sick, it's usually because you caught it from someone else. Right now, there's still a bug going around that's causing people to get sick, which is probably why my nose was all stuffy on Saturday. It's better now, mostly, but today, today I have a different issue.

When you get food poisoning, it's even worse than when you get sick. You get sick, you feel kind of like crap for a few days, then it passes. Typically, at least. Food poisoning tends to come out of nowhere, and it makes you feel even more like crap. Your innards hurt and all you want to do is sleep until it's done and over with.

Food poisoning you cannot blame it on anyone except yourself, and it's simply for eating the wrong thing at the wrong time. Someone else could eat exactly the same thing as you, and not be affected. I'm mostly pissed because I had to come home early, and am using my PTO for this.

Now, it makes sense to come home. I spent more time in the bathroom this morning than actually at my desk. But I'm still annoyed. I feel mostly fine, until I don't. My stomach isn't exactly upset, but I'm staying cautious anyway; I'm eating rice and veggies, some apple sauce, and I got a bunch of bananas. The only thing I didn't obtain was bread, but that's mostly because I don't have a toaster and the bread would go bad before I was able to eat it all. In hindsight, I could have gotten a couple plain, or wheat, bagels and that would have sufficed.

The betrayal happened last night, a couple hours before I was about to lay down to sleep. It ended up keeping me up for several hours longer than I normally am even on the weekends, and it had me up earlier than normal for a workday this morning. My coworkers spent the first couple hours trying to convince me to go home. I managed until after lunches were finished, then left. And now I wait it out.

At least I'm close to the bathroom now, and it's in the comfort of my own place, rather than it being at work, not really anywhere close to a bathroom.

Fingers crossed this crap has run its course by day's end.

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Postponed
Saturday. 1.21.17 12:35 pm
It's only been about a month since I started finally feeling like I was getting over the illness that plagued me the entire week before, and a few days in to, my trip to DC last month, and I woke up in the middle of the night last night with a sore throat. I've also had a couple sneezing fits throughout today. Not exactly how I saw my Saturday going.

I postponed my appointment that I had for today until the middle of the week. The Women's March is well under way; for some reason I didn't think about the fact that I live right in the epicenter of the route at which the march takes to get from point A to point B, and how this would affect traffic. I felt bad canceling last minute, but with the march happening, and the fact that I don't want to risk getting sick again, it's necessary to stay home today. Depending on how I feel tomorrow, and the weather, I may end up having to postpone those plans as well.

Hearing the waves of cheers wafting up from the street right outside my apartment kind of gives me chills. It's nice seeing all of the people who are coming together, not just here, but all over the country, and in parts of the world, to support each other and to stand together despite what has happened yesterday. It's things like this that make me proud to live in a country where we are allowed to stand together and voice our opinions for or against something.

Since I'm essentially going to be drinking tea and resting today, in hopes to allow my immune system the time it needs to not shit out on me again, I'll be taking advantage and reading more of the new book I've borrowed. It's called Station Eleven and it's definitely got my attention. It's about a post-apocalyptic world, where a flu wiped out most of the population. I do not see past the slight irony of reading this during a time in which this year's flu is stronger than it has been in recent years.

Anywho, it's very possible that the fact that I've been more stressed than normal this past week, and have gotten such poor sleep, again, probably has something to do with starting to feel like crap again. Or it could be the simple fact that I'm still recovering, and work in a medical facility, surrounded by sick people on a daily basis. Who knows. Either way, I just know that I can't get sick again. I hate missing work because of an illness.

Alright, I've been distracted for the last half hour. The waves of cheering are still going strong, two hours in to the march. I am curious as to how many people are involved. They may have estimates on the news tonight.

Not sure when I'll write again, but it shouldn't be too long. I can never stay away for long.

Until then. . .

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Placeholder
Thursday. 1.19.17 6:52 pm
It always seems like the short weeks is when things tend to go awry, thus making it feel like the week is much longer.

Today was such a long day, and I'm running on maybe 3.5 hours of very broken sleep so I'm just exhausted. I wanted to type something up, but I can't brain right now. I'll update on Saturday.

In the meantime, I'm going to crash for the night. I don't even care that it's barely 7. Here's to hoping I am actually tired enough to not be woken up by anyone using the kitchen. And hopefully the smoke detectors don't get set off, again.

Until next time. . .

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Necessity
Friday. 1.13.17 9:41 pm
There's still 2 hours and 19 minutes left {PST} for Friday the 13th so of course I had to write out an entry. I actually almost forgot that I'd wanted to, but as I was driving home from dinner/drinks, I remembered that I still had time before it was officially over, PST.

The day was about as it was expected to be. It was also a full moon last night so people were a little more extra crazy than they just normally would be had it been just Friday the 13th. What made it even more interesting was the simple fact that we were so short staffed. I was basically working alone today {I actually feel like I would have been less stressed if I had actually been alone for the second half of the day} with my one coworker starting her maternity leave today, and the other taking a half day, and then having a float cover. I get that they want coverage when someone is out, but it is only so helpful when the person they have cover knows only the bare minimum of the job.

Because of the way today was going, and the fact that me and a couple friends hadn't gotten together in a while for drinks, we needed to meet up for drinks after work. We waited just a little bit, so that Red Robin could be more cleared, or clearing up, of the families that go out for dinner on Friday nights. We only had to wait maybe 3 minutes for a table in the bar area. I think this is actually the first night in a while where I've kept myself limited on the alcoholic intake. I even kept myself limited on food intake. Normally I take advantage of the bottomless fries, but I was just so stuffed after the burger and first helping of fries that I just couldn't. It was even a task just trying to get the second drink down. Now? Now I'm just completely stuffed and pretty much ready for bed.

Tomorrow is the end of week 2 of 8. Technically this should have been week one, but I started last week because I didn't think about actually counting to see how many more weeks until the race. But I'm not taking a week off just to stick with the exact calendar. Tomorrow is also the first day of the calendar where it starts to slowly increase the overall length of time. I have to admit, though I never want to go, it's actually nice getting back in to the gym. Even if it's only for shorter periods of time. When I was actually working toward losing the weight, I'd never go longer than 30 minutes, so it's going to be interesting when the time on the calendar goes beyond that. Tomorrow starts the extended time beyond 20 minutes, but then it stays steady at 24 minutes, except on Saturdays. Saturday is the day to extend the time, which actually works out really nicely since Saturday the gym at work is empty and so I won't feel as bad hogging one of the two treadmills that they have.

I really wanted to get a tattoo today, but alas, it wasn't in the cards. I won't be missing the next one, however. As soon as I have a spare $100, I'll be reserving an appointment with my artist. I may actually get two small ones for that appointment, instead of just the one, since I'll be reserving the time. I might as well. There's another small one that I've been wanting to get for some time now. We'll see what happens with that.

Anywho, I'm drained from the day and the alcohol and food intake and bitch session, it's definitely finishing me in.

Until next time. . .

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Week 1 of 8
Saturday. 1.7.17 7:18 pm
Well then. It's the end of the first week of the year. It's also the end of the first week of the training calendar I got from the 15k people. The whole point in this is to build up endurance, not to lose weight. So the fact that over the first three days of this calendar I've barely broken a sweat, I need to keep reminding myself that it's not for weight loss and max calorie burning. Though, I totally wouldn't mind losing another 10 or so pounds. Thus, I shall be working on building endurance, but if I happen to lose more weight in the process, then so be it. All I know is that by the time the 15k rolls around, I need to be able to keep up at least a 12 minute mile for the duration of the roughly 9 miles that this thing consists of.

Really, other than that, my life has gone back to being rather particularly boring. At least it's consistent. Paying off bills, getting my credit card balances back down to a reasonable level after vacations and Christmas means that I've less money to spend on other random shit. I really, really, really want to get another tattoo next Friday, but I have a feeling I won't be able to. At least not with my artist. Though, out of the 6 tattoos I have, only two of them were done by the same person. It wouldn't be too outlandish for me to have yet another person work on me. Maybe I'll do some research and see if anyone good is doing a Friday the 13th deal.

If not, I can plan for the one in October.

This year, as I've said, is going to be the year of little to no expectations and I've managed to keep that going. Which, for someone with depression and anxiety, a week of being able to keep that up is pretty darn good.

Oh, random tidbit. I got a catalog in the mail (no idea why; I'm not subscribed to anything) that's called "whatever works: garden, home, pest control." I flipped through the pages, and there's apparently sex toys that you can by from this place. I mean, it is called "whatever works" but really? Does that fall under the 'home' category? Or 'pest control'? Who knows. But I found it rather amusing. Especially since the other stuff you can buy in here seem pretty practical. Such as flashlights, RFID wallets, bug spray etc. Or some other weirdly random items, such as a volume enhancer that looks like a cut off stethoscope, a ottoman that turns in to a fold out bed, or even better: an ottoman that's also a cat bed. But yeah, sex toys.

Anywho, the wildcard game is happening right now and since I just heard more fireworks, I'm going to assume that the Seahawks just scored again. Either that or the game is over, but it seems a little too soon for that. It's only been two hours. It's going to be kind of weird when I move away to not be so close to the stadiums. I've gotten used to knowing when there's a game.

I think I've rambled enough. Until next time. . .

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Held accountable
Tuesday. 1.3.17 8:07 pm
I'm going to maybe try to keep track of what I've been doing toward the 15k training on here so that I might be able to hold myself accountable for actually doing the work. Today was day 1 in the 8 week training calendar. 3 days a week. I want to try to do the Saturday one outside, just to get kind of used to being on the ground instead of a treadmill, but it really will depend on the weather. I don't have any water resistant clothing... really, after 6 years you'd think that I would own at least one thing, but no. Not the case.

Even after how things went on Sunday, I ended up canceling my plans for Monday and staying indoors again. I feel like forcing myself too hard to come out of my shell makes me want to stay in it that much more. I know why, at least part of the reason why, I'm locked in to this rut. I know what I have to do to get past it. Hence why I've given myself a short term goal. For the next two months, I have something to keep myself occupied for at least 3 days per week. It gives me something to focus on and put my energy toward. After 2 months, I will reevaluate and see if I need to set myself up with something else, or if I've been able to get myself out of this situation that only I have put myself in.

I don't think I mentioned it in the last post, but I managed to bruise up my leg pretty badly. Not nearly as bad as the one I had from when I fell at Big Lots, but this one is a pretty decent size. It's a couple inches in length, and at least an inch wide. Friday during my last break, I was walking downstairs to take the tunnel to the other building and there's gates blocking people from exiting down. Well, I swung the gate open, didn't realize I'd gotten my toe stuck under the corner, and ended up jamming my thigh pretty hard in to the metal edge of the stopper that juts out. It hurt, and I knew immediately that it would leave a decent bruise, though I wasn't expecting it to already be visible only two hours later. It still hurts if I accidentally hit it when I put my arm down on my leg (which happens a lot when I'm driving) but it's mostly just in the gross yellow/green/brown stage of healing. I'm sure it'll be lingering for a while longer, but eh. It's been a long while since I've had a decently sized bruise and I'm oddly okay with it.

Anywho, I will probably be calling it an early night. I slept horribly last night so today I'm exhausted. Perhaps I'm exhausted enough to actually get more than a few hours of sleep tonight. Here's to hoping.

Until next time. . .

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