I filled up my gas tank on Friday before I went to work. Between the drive to work {from the casino, not from my home} and the driving I did after work I managed to use up a quarter of a tank of gas in just the one day.

The driving I did today I managed to use up another 1/8 of a tank so after driving tomorrow {since I appear to be done for the night} I'll have used up a full half a tank of gas.

It was some much needed driving though. Something I've needed to do for a while.

I've come to the sad realization that I text message way too much. When you get your cell phone bill and it's 36 pieces of paper, front and back {adding up to 72 pages total} and most of the pages consist of the texts sent and received ... you realize you spend far too much time texting. The monthly total for texts sent and received last month was 3555. That's more than an average of 100 per day.

What's even more sad than that? I won't stop doing it.

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Due to a intense lack of current income, or an insane, sudden increase in bills, I am incredibly broke. I'm sure I've emphasized this a few times in the last however many blogs.

But due to that intense lack of monetary flow, I have only had enough gas in my car to get me to and from work for the last two weeks. I have thus been confined to my household ... except for last Saturday when my friend picked me up and we went bowling.

Now, you have to understand, I really enjoy driving. Sometimes I'd rather have someone else drive so I can sit back and relax, but for the most part, I'm fine driving around. I didn't actually start liking driving until about a week after I purchased my own vehicle.

Because of this enjoyment and my lack of being able to do so, I'm starting to really go out of my mind. I get paid tomorrow and I plan on filling up my tank and wasting at least a quarter of it by just driving around. I don't really care too much if I'm by myself or if I have someone with me, but if I have someone with me it'll at least give me a direction to head in and a destination.

I'm okay going without food. I'm okay turning off my AC for a little while. I'm alright even keeping lights off. I just need to be able to go out on the road and take off. Sometimes I'd rather be alone. It gives me time to clear my head or even time to think. Something I really don't need a specific time to do; my mind is already too busy doing that. I wish there were an on/off switch.

Tomorrow I'll be offering up my chauffeuring services to a couple people for the weekend. We'll see if I get any takers.

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I decided to write a blog real quick. I'm bouncing between websites, browsing nothing really, but I felt like making an elongated stop here. Just long enough to write something.

I worked 12 hours today and I'll probably be doing it again tomorrow. I didn't have too much of a problem doing it today, but I had laundry to do before I could actually stop and relax for the evening. Something I like to do as early as possible in the day just to be done with it.

I actually like doing laundry ... as long as I don't have to leave my residence to do so. Not having my own washer and dryer is a pain in the ass. It forces me to leave my apartment when I don't want to. It also forces me to be publicly decent. I can't wear my normal laundry day clothes; they're not publicly decent.

Still broke. Only three more days until I have money placed briefly into my account before it's all taken back out to pay the rest of my month's bills. And then the vicious cycle starts over again next month.

I was told two things today that I'm not sure how to take. One, I was told I think about someone way more often than I rightfully should. And two, that I seem to be happier as of late. I'm not actually happier. At least I don't personally think so, but I suppose it's because the person who told me this only sees me while I'm at work. They don't know how I am or anything outside of the building. Either way, it caught me a little off guard today.

Uhm, yeah that's the quick update. Nothing special. Just felt like dropping some useless info.

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Staring at my ceiling just now, I came to the realization that I only seem to want to blog when something is bothering me. At least its been that way over the last few months.

You'd think that I'd want to talk about all the good that happens. But when that good actually does happen, I simply don't feel like writing about it. I'm not sure why.

Another thing that's going on right now is a complete lack of motivation on my part. I really should leave my apartment, but I just don't have the proper motivation. The fact that I'm saving up my gas since I won't have money until the 14th is only just an excuse. I can borrow money from someone if absolutely necessary.

I have a movie I need to return, but I haven't watched it yet. Why? No motivation. I'm simply not in the mood to sit and watch it. I've had it for a few weeks now, but it's just been sitting on my floor.

I want to drink tonight, but I doubt it'll happen simply because I'm not motivated enough to get the bottle out of my freezer.

Maybe I'll just spend the weekend laying on my bed. Not what most people would call a good weekend, but I have nothing else to do. Or I have a lot to do, but just can't bring myself to go out and do it.

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Alright, I admit, I actually haven't been on NuTang that often as of late. It just doesn't hold the same interest it used to. It's only a phase. I know cuz I've been through it before. I just don't know how long this phase will last.

Actually I haven't really been on the internet at all. I come on to play videos on Youtube, but that's about it. I can't stand myspace or facebook. I'm ready to just delete them both. I know I won't do it because at some point later on I'll just have to recreate them and that's a hassle I don't want to have to deal with.

I'm broke beyond broke. Like, I literally have about $40 to my name until next Friday when I get paid again. I have to call up my insurance company and explain that I'll be paying my dues three days late and hopefully they'll understand and not charge me extra fees.

I'm very confused about the whole Jacob thing. One day he'll want me around and want to hang and chill; then the next he'll avoid me like the plague. I've let go some, but I'm still working on it.

I can understand if you don't really want to read this. The whole purpose, really, was to come here and complain. I've been feeling pretty shitty and out of it over the last few days. Probably since Friday or Saturday and all I really want to do it bitch and moan about things.

I've decided it's probably not a good idea for me to drive when I'm pissed off or upset, but sometimes I just can't avoid it. Like the other night when I went to work. I had to drive then. But when I get out on the highway all I want to do is be wreckless. I want to speed and cause some sort of destruction.

Chaos. One of my friends told me that the world wouldn't survive without some sort of chaos. Organized or otherwise. I think he's right.

Blah. I need to go to bed. I have to be up in 6 hours.

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Wow, I've kinda been out of the loop lately. No, I haven't gone to the dark side and been sucked in to the addiction of other websites. I still wander throughout the abyss that is NuTang, but it's just not holding my interest like it used to.

I finally had a good weekend. Like, the whole, entire weekend was good. One of Jacob's friends was in town visiting and I helped entertain on my two days off. It was a lot of fun. I'm glad I got to meet her. Pictures are on my myspace if you'd like to check them out. Link is in the "things to do if you're bored" module.

Work is work. I'm really starting to not like my job anymore. All the people I've grown somewhat close to {all two of them} have both gone. One just doesn't work there anymore. The other works a different shift and I hardly get the chance to see him. It sucks working with all females. Especially when you don't get along with females in general.

This heat is killer. It's been a steady 105-110 every day for the last week and a half and it doesn't show any signs of cooling off. August will only guarentee to be hotter.

That's pretty much it. At least that's all I feel like writing about right now.

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