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The weather
A constant state of being.
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hiya
Wednesday. 8.29.07 12:24 pm
I only have about half an hour left of alone time. Then I don't get any more until next Monday. I wasted my alone time both yesterday and Monday by sleeping. Today, I only wasted 3/4 of it by sleeping. I got up in time to have two hours of alone time.

When Jean gets home, though, I'm not going to turn my music down. It doesn't seem to bother her too much and right now I'm not playing the techno that I have been the last few days. I had to shut it off yesterday because it had started to bug my mom. I don't really care if it gets on Jean or Steve's nerves. The more that bug them, the sooner they might be compelled to move out. But this is my mom's house so I'll respect her.

I seem to have made my "bedtime" around 5am. The last few nights, that's about the time I've been laying down to sleep. Mostly its because I haven't been getting up very early and because I have trouble putting down a book that has a hold on my intent interest. Oh well. I can only hope that getting a job will regulate my currently irratic sleeping patterns.

As I mentioned, I'm reading the book Absolute Fear. Its got me turning the pages. I keep losing track of time. The only thing that alerts me of what time it is, is when Jean's alarm goes off at 3:30am and then she leaves to go to work around 4:45am. Then again, whenever I'm reading, I tend to lose track of time. I can ignore almost anything that's going on around me, even the obnoxious yelling the cats sees fit to do at all hours of the day and night. I get that from my mom though. She could be reading a book and not even realize that someone is standing next to her trying to have a conversation with her until someone touches her. Its kinda funny to watch people who don't know. They think she's purposely ignoring them.

Anywho nothing exciting has happened to me since the last time I wrote. I was going to write an entry yesterday, but I couldn't even think of how to start it. After 5 minutes of staring at the screen, my screen saver came on and I gave up trying to figure out an entry.

The wedding dream that I had a few nights ago is still with me. Whenever I close my eyes, I see myself in that dress. Standing at the alter with my soon-to-be husband in front of an audience of people. I realize that I'm feeling happiness and sadness at the same time, though I'm not sure why.

I think I've discovered why I had that dream and why its seeing fit to bug me as it is. I was supposed to be getting married this year. For real. Maybe my subconscious is reminding me of that, though I don't know why it would. It doesn't seem like a very descript reason, but its a sensible one.

I want to go for a walk; I can feel my leg muscles starting to weaken, but its just too hot. You can bet on it though, that once it starts to cool off I'll be walking on a regular basis ... unless I have a car. Then it might not be every day, but I'm still going to try.

Alright, I need to get this out. There's this song that everyone needs to listen to. Actually, there's two, but I can't remember the name of the other one. So once I ask my mom what it is, then I'll tell you. Anywho, back to the one song. Tim McGraw - Don't Take the Girl. I don't care if you don't like country, you need to listen to this song. And don't just simply play it and say you listened to it. I mean really listen to the words being said. Its an emotional song, not in the sense that you'll cry your eyes out, but if it doesn't put at least some sort of emotion into you, the I'd check to see if your heart was still functioning properly. {If you're too lazy to go find the song yourself, I'll make it really easy for you. Simply scroll down to my playlist at the bottom of my page. The song is on there}

Okay, now that I've gotten that out, I'm good. I also don't know what else to write so I guess this is the end of the entry.

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total eclipse
Tuesday. 8.28.07 3:01 am
It is 3:01am and the moon is totally eclipsed. I've been watching the progress over the last hour or so. The last time I had the opportunity to see a total eclipse was back in '98 or '99 and I was living in Florida at the time. It was overcast the whole night, so I was unable to witness it.

Well, I'm living in Southern Nevada now and the sky is completely clear, with the exception of a wispy cloud here or there. I'm able to see the moon very clearly from my backyard. The only issue I have is trying to keep the cats inside. I would let them out, but I don't want to have to chase them around and wrestle them back inside.

But back to the eclipse. Its really nothing special. At least not to the untrained human eye. Maybe if I had a high powered telescope, or even a regular telescope, it might be more exciting. But since I don't, I'm not all that thrilled. Its nice to say that I was able to witness one. Now all I have to do is see a total eclipse of the sun and Haley's Comet and I'll be set. Ha.

Anywho, last night the weather was very different from the calm tonight. Last night was awesome! It actually stormed for a good few hours. It wasn't raining the whole time, but the rolls of thunder were almost constant and the light show was very pretty. They said on the news that lightning had struck a power box right up the road from here. The strike cause the pavement to crack. Awesome!

I was standing outside in the driveway for half the time just watching the lightning. When it started to rain I stayed out in it until it got a little heavier and I didn't feel like getting soaked then coming back into the cool house. By the time the storm passed, the temperature had dropped to 73! {btw, the same temp as in the house.} The sun was starting to rise just as the storm was finishing and you could see it coming through the cracks in the clouds just beyond the mountains. It was a little before 7am that I finally laid down and went to sleep.

It didn't go as planned with me having the house to myself for a part of the day. I slept through all but the last half hour of my alone time. That's what I get for staying up till 7am. Oh well. I'm going to be going to bed here shortly, if I can actually convince myself to sleep. Maybe then I'll wake up at a decent time and have more alone time. I only get part of three days a week and I've already wasted one.

Alrighty, I think that's it for tonight. I shall write again whenever.

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entry-tastic randomness
Sunday. 8.26.07 7:31 pm
I'm watching Scooby Doo right now, the first one. There are other things on, but I love Scooby. Don't judge.

I hate how, whenever I eat too much, I get tired. I always fight the urge to go to sleep ... I have to now, regardless if I wanted to or not; when I lived on my own, it was easier to sleep for a couple hours, completely undisturbed. Here, not so much.

Tomorrow is the first day of school for my sister. If I get up at 7am, I'll have the whole house to myself until Jean gets home from work, shortly after 2:30pm. I think I might get up with them in the morning {at 5am; I'm sure I will regardless if I want to; the noise would wake me} Then I'll be free to do whatever the hell I want {of course within limits seeing as how its not my house.} I think I'll turn up my music and clean. Maybe ... I'll have to see how I feel tomorrow.

I started reading a new book last night. Absolute Fear by Lisa Jackson. I only got through the Prologue before I was too tired to keep my eyes open, but I have a feeling its a good enough book to keep me interested.

Ever since I uninstalled McAfee and installed Norton, I haven't been having any problems with the internet. Actully, my computer has been running like it did at my apartment when I had it directly plugged into the modem. About the only thing that's not been working is the Gruvsonic radio, but it always has its days where it doesn't work right. Oh well.

I was able to watch all but the last two hours of the Futurama marathon last night. It had started to replay the ones from earlier in the marathon, so I didn't entirely mind turning it off. I was falling asleep anyway and I wanted to start reading the new book to see if it was worth continuing.

I've come to the conclusion that Charlie and I will not be going out. He hasn't contacted me since just after he got back from his camping trip and he still hasn't called me. Something tells me that he didn't even save my number. Oh well. I've given up trying to subtly hint that I want to hang out with him and I figure if he really wants to, he'll ask me. No point in wasting my energy in trying to make something happen that isn't going to. If only it was that easy when I was working on getting over Stuart.

Hmm, I think that's about it for now. I shall write again whenever.

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dreams
Saturday. 8.25.07 7:15 pm
I had two really odd dreams last night. The people in them were the same, but the events taking place were very different.

The first one took place at night in an apartment that I had. I was with a few friends, some of whom I know in real life, others I knew in the dream, but not in real life. The three people that I knew, I know would never be together in the same place. So that in itself was weird.

I had just turned 21 a few weeks prior and we were meeting at my apartment to head out to a bar. The guy who was my boyfriend, I didn't know. Steve, a friend from Tucson, Denise, my best friend in middle school, and Ashley, Denise's sister were the three people who I knew. One of us had an 8 seater SUV, a light blue color, but I don't know exactly what kind or whose it was. Not all of us would fit in the SUV so the 4 people who didn't fit went in another car.

It skipped ahead to a few hours later. Our group had shrunk by about 6 people, but my beau, and the three friends I know were still there with me. That's all I remember from that one.

The other dream, it started out during the day. I was looking at myself in a mirror. I was wearing a beautiful white dress. My hair was done up and there were a few other girls flitting around the room, also wearing beautiful dresses. Their dresses, however, were a darker grey color. It was then that I realized I was only an hour away from getting married. I was going to get married!

It skipped ahead again, and I was at the alter. The guy I was marrying was the same guy who was my beau from the other dream. Steve was one of the groomsmen; Denise and Ashley were two of the bridesmaids {my sister was the maid of honor and will be in my real life wedding.} I was done saying my vows and was about to say my "I do." I took a look around at all the people who were attending, thinking about the things that got me to this point in my life and then I looked back at my almost husband ... that's when I woke up.

I sort of wish I knew what these dreams meant, but I know they have no significance. Oh well.

Anywho, I seem to be getting more and more boring. I'm not getting many comments. Again, not that I care ... I just like seeing proof that people actually read what I write.

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boycott...
Saturday. 8.25.07 12:15 am
As much as I want to boycott food right now, I seem to be unable to resist, especially the munchie food. Why am I boycotting food you might ask? Well, lemme tell you.

I have a wisdom tooth trying to push its way through my gums ... for the umpteenth time in the past few years. It hurts to chew anything solid. Even something as soft as a Hostess cupcake or macaroni. I've dealt with this pain before, but I don't remember it being this bad before. The last time I had to go on a "liquid" diet was just after I got my tongue pierced and I had a bad burn blister right by the new piercing. {that shit hurt worse than this}

But you may ask "why don't you just chew on the other side of your mouth?" I can't. The other side of my mouth is screwed up to the point where I can only have it fixed through surgery. The only thing I'm able to chew on the left side of my mouth is gum. Other than that, nothing.

The thing I'm not liking about the wisdom tooth trying to push its way through, besides the pain, is that most people I know got them much earlier in life. Then again, I know some people never have to deal with wisdom teeth. I wish I was one of those people. I deal with enough pain on a regular basis, with the constant headaches, the hip problems and my joints hurting until I crack them, that I don't need any additional, unnecessary pain.

Anywho, I've applied at a few more places in hopes that someone will call me. I really, really need a job. My money seems to be running shorter and shorter by the day, even though I'm not spending it.

The car still isn't fixed. Its putting a slight strain on me working towards getting my license. I'd really rather not drive the car in the condition its in, {check out my gallery if you want to see what the car looks like} but if I have to I will. I really hope it gets fixed in the next week. If not, I'll have to start driving it in its current condition.

Uhm, I think that's it for now. I can't think of anything else to say so I'll write again whenever.

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bah!
Friday. 8.24.07 4:41 am
I'm not very happy with the whole computer/router/internet thing right now. We started having problems again and I've just spent another 4 hours of wasted time on trying to fix the problem. I'm not sure if its completely fixed, but it seems to be working better.

I'd hate to jinx it by saying that, but I'm taking the risk.

I have two indicators stating that I'm connected to the internet. One is telling me that I'm connected with excellent connection. The other one is still saying that its 'acquiring a network connection.' I'm gonna go ahead and believe the one that's saying I'm already connected seeing as how I'm ... well ... connected.

I just needed to get that out of my system. Its quarter till 5am and I'm going to attempt at getting at least a few hours of sleep.

BTW, I didn't get any comments on my last entry ... not that I really care ... I'm just saying it'll give you something to read other than this.

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