Written by Rich Catwolflamb (San Francisco Sun)
Papagoya (PPGY) technology, named after the famous scientist Papagoya, is an innovative way to transfer and process information over the World Wide Web. When asked what sparked this amazing discovery, Papagoya humbly answered, "Well, I was sitting one day by the easter isles, under a lemon tree. And then, the most impossible thing happened. Nearly thirty lemons fell from the tree onto my head. As I was in a state of piercing agony and disarray, my fellow baboons came to my rescue and began to disperse the lemons among the villagers. I watched them give out these lemons and thought to myself, Wow, what if these lemons were instead packets of information! And that is how it all began."
The fundamentals of how PPGY works really is very much similar to Papagoya's anecdote. When an remote user connects to a web site, the server receives requests. With PPGY, a baboon will take in this request and process it with his comrades (also baboons). Since a baboon is much more versatile and advanced than any of today's computers, it will handle the information much more quickly and reliably than a normal server. In fact, the baboons trained for PPGY by Papagoya can operate faster than the speed of light and will never "crash" per se. The diagram below illustrates how PPGY works on a larger scale.
However, there is more than meets the eye. After months of careful research and experiments, Papagoya also discovered the Law of Babertia. This is a psychological effect, such that, when a group of baboons are all diligently working, the molecules in the atmosphere will begin to heat up. This is due to the hydromonoxicle chlorophanes that are released by the baboons' soroxio glands. Because of the innate tendency of the chlorophanes to alter the quantum state of natural gases, the air will begin to heat up. Subconsciously sensing this subtle change in temperature and surrounded by working baboons will "buang"* up the energy of a baboon every so often. (Due to the newness and profundity of this, it is difficult to determine which baboon or how many baboons will undergo this higher-energy state at a specific time. However, fairly accurate probabilistic models have been developed to predict Babertia's effect on a sample size of n baboons.) The Law of Babertia, in effect, ensures that the facilities and resourcefulness of the baboon network remains sharp and high.
After visiting Papagoya's laboratories in the Baboon Island of Ishbu, we were introduced and familiarized with this novel, remarkable technology. Consequently, after securing a fund from the Chesterfunk's University of Cow for further development of PPGY, NuTANG has entirely converted to PPGY technology. Furthermore, Papagoya has volunteered his services to NuTANG. Their spokesman said, "We are honored to have a such an esteemed and renown figure work alongside us. Papagoya will help better NuTANG, better technology, and better humanity."
* Buang, a term coined by Garheel Buang, refers to the metabolic speedup of anaron-blood molecules in the body. This feeling can be described as "a rush" or "feeling high," and is somewhat analogous to an adrenaline boost.
NuTang is the first web site to implement PPGY Technology. This page was generated in 0.029seconds.
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