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Sitting, waiting, wishing.
Monday. 1.5.15 5:57 pm
I've had this song stuck in my head all day. I haven't heard it in several months, at least, and yet around my first break this morning, it popped up. All throughout the training, all throughout the final breaks of the day, even during conversations with others, this song just kept interfering. How does this work? Why do certain songs, or memories or whatever, pop in to your head at seemingly random times? Especially when there is no recent reference to said thought.

And now it's stuck in all of your heads. You're welcome.

My brain hurts and perhaps this is its way of coping. There is just so much information involved in appointing and they're trying to cram it in to our heads in two weeks' time. Once they let us loose on the phones, we'll have two more weeks to get used to that process. No more role playing; it's all live calls making actual appointments. This gives us two weeks to get our timing and technique down. The girl that I shadowed on Friday said that it took her about a month to get most of it down, so I'm going to aim for that. I don't like not knowing how to do something or not being good at it once I learn.

I do know that I'll be glad to be back up at my campus. I'll get to focus on learning my actual specialty-related training and I'll be back in familiar territory. I'll have more to do for my hour long lunch rather than drive to Starbucks and spend $10 on a delicious, yet quite overpriced, sandwich and snack. I'll be more comfortable bringing in my own food because I'll be around people I know. Or, since I live close enough, I could just come home for lunch.

Here's to hoping this last week of computer lab training doesn't completely destroy my ability to retain information.

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Now? No. How about now?
Sunday. 1.4.15 6:35 pm
It's been a week and it still hasn't hit me yet that I have a new job. I mean, everything is different ... except that it's not. I think it has to do with the fact that I'm still going to be at the same facility. I'm not there yet, but I only have a week left before I am back at my campus. Perhaps when I receive my first paycheck and see the monetary difference? But even then, the first paycheck will be shorter because of some missing time from the first day and money deducted for a bus pass.

I thought that it would have hit me by now, but it hasn't. Even when I did laundry yesterday and the volume of my load was cut in half due to the lack of uniforms to wash, even though I had a full week's worth of outfits to wash. Honestly, it kind of feels like I'm just on vacation. I am being loaded up with all kinds of new information and practicing a lot of new things and yet, I just feel like I'm taking a break.

Maybe I should have taken a week off from work in order to properly transition myself in to the new role that I'm taking on. I'm glad I didn't because I need the final paycheck before I receive the first one from the new job, but ... I guess I'm just confused by why this doesn't really feel like anything has changed.

Perhaps it'll hit me sometime this week.

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One step at a time
Friday. 1.2.15 10:50 pm
My brain kind of hurts. As much as I like to pride myself in being fantastic at my job, I'm constantly reminding myself that I'm still very new at this and it's okay to not be as ridiculously skilled as the person I shadowed today. I just completed my first week of training and it was, technically, only 3 days of actual training. Day 1 was just welcome day, which just explained the history behind the company and how it came to be the company that it is today. We got in to actual job related training on Tuesday and Wednesday, but then yesterday was a holiday so the place was closed. And then today.

I still have next week to train in the computer lab and then I have 2 more weeks of mentored phone training. And yet, with all that knowledge of what's involved in getting myself prepared, I still want to be good at my job and messing up, for me, is unacceptable. I'll get there, I know I will. It's just gonna take a bit more than my patience is willing to take easily.

No plans for the weekend except laundry. I think the only reason I'm even going to leave my front door is to take out the trash and pay the rent ... which I forgot to do today. My car is parked in front of my place and I think I'd like to just keep it there until I have to leave for work Monday morning. For the first time in weeks, I actually have enough food in my fridge/freezer to get me through the weekend without needing to leave or order delivery.

So yes, I think this will be a good weekend to hermit it up.

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Well then.
Thursday. 1.1.15 1:40 pm
It's Thursday. As if none of you could read a calendar. It's the time of year when the sequential dates start back at the beginning. That's about the only two things this particular day signifies for me. Sure, I don't have to work today, which I would have been doing if I had still been in security. I'm incredibly grateful for that change of pace. I'm also getting paid for today, despite the fact that I'm not actually working, so that's awesome.

It's just the first Thursday of my new job, which I happen to have off due to the resetting of the sequential dates. It already feels like it's been weeks and I've only really been doing this 2 days. That's how much information has been shoved down our throats and we have yet to even start on how to work the multiple programs we'll be using for appointing, let alone actually taking calls. That comes the week after next.

I'm just going to play the blogging thing by ear this time around. A lot of shit happens and there are some days when I don't have access to a computer {where I can easily type up something here} or I'm just not in the mood to share or my mind is all chaotic and it'l be a bit before things can start to make enough sense to type something up. So no personal challenges, yet, this year.

I do have a few small goals for this year, however. I would like to get my passport, take motorcycle riding classes and get my license to do so and go sky diving. There's also the vacation that I'm taking mid-year, which is going to be amazing. So not really "resolutions" so to speak, but legit, reachable goals.

I'll also be 29 later this year. Is it weird that I'm already excited about it?

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Changing gears
Monday. 12.29.14 9:53 pm
I saw you today, but I didn't really see you. I caught glimpses; for all I know you could have been a figment of my imagination. You're just a name in a text; a picture saved from the past, a familiar face in the crowd. I saw you, but not really. Did you see me?

It doesn't feel real, this new job. It hasn't hit me yet. My sleep schedule is still on security time. My wardrobe is a reminder that I didn't think this through too well. I said I was celebrating this past weekend, but in reality I think I was just using that as an excuse to get together with my friends to have a good time. I wonder when it'll kick in that I'm finally on to the next chapter in my life.

I need to go for a drive. A long one. Or a flight somewhere. I need to get away. As excited as I am about this new adventure, the urge to want to escape is equally as strong.

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Deep breaths
Sunday. 12.28.14 5:15 pm
I start my new job tomorrow. It's strange, you know. I just finished up my regular week on Thursday. Friday and Saturday were my normal days off so having today off was just an added bonus. Tomorrow, everything changes.

My alarm will be going off two hours later than what I'm used to. I will be wearing my own clothes, nice ones, and I'll be driving in the complete opposite direction and farther away from what I'm used to. I will be in a building I'm only familiar with because of my ex boyfriend and I'll only be in that building for a day before I move to a building I've only been in once. I will continue working there for the duration of January before I go back to my campus. The campus I'm beyond familiar with; I know just about every nook and cranny of that place. However, I will be in a different setting, approaching with a different mindset.

I will be set up with a headset and placed in front of a computer with several new programs and an evaluation system that actually counts for something. The group of people that I'll be working with, at first, will be completely unfamiliar. Once I go back to my campus, the people will be kind of, but not really, familiar.

I have a new job. A well paying job, with fantastic benefits. This is what I've been trying to achieve for at least the last two years. And now that it's finally happening, I'm having to keep reminding myself to breathe.

My final day at work didn't feel like it. I honestly didn't do any less work than I normally would have for a holiday. I did refuse to help with the patient standby, but they already knew I was going to do that should that situation arise. I got home from work, took what was apparently a much needed nap {I slept for almost 4 hours} and then just hung out until I felt tired again.

Friday I ran some errands. I stopped at the bank, I shipped out a package for my mom, and did some other stuff that I seem to have forgotten about. Yesterday I went back to the store and got stuff to send to my sister for my nephew. He thinks his Christmas gifts are late because of how far away I live. It's ridiculously adorable at how simple my 4 year old nephew can be at times.

After that I met up with a friend of mine and her husband. I picked the wrong day to want to save money on parking because less than halfway on my walk to the place we were meeting, it started raining. It's Seattle, of course there was a chance of rain. There's always a chance of rain here. By the time I arrived at the place, I looked like I had just gotten out of the shower. Except my jacket was soaked as were my jeans.

We celebrated new beginnings; all three of us have some new aspect to our lives and it was a well deserved celebration. We got burgers and drinks and chatted about random topics. After that we made a stop at R.E.I. so that they could act like kids in a candy shop before moving on to a pub and then a brewery. An inside joke was created and became funnier as the night went on. It was a great night.

Today I did some grocery shopping and put gas in my car. 8.2 gallons for $18.14. It was definitely worth the drive up north to get it. And I did so early enough in the day that I was able to avoid the Seahawks traffic. I've just been hanging out since. As time keeps inching closer to bed time, I have to keep reminding myself to breathe.

Just keep breathing. . .

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