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Sunday. 12.17.06 1:50 am
Since I didn't take the pics, the person who took them isn't that good at it. Though I'm not that terrific at it, I'll keep retaking the pic till I like it. I didn't want to make her keep retaking it. So this is all you get:

It hurt more towards the edge of the tattoo. I think what hurt the least {besides the small signs} was when he was shading the heart. It went numb after a while. I could still feel it, but I couldn't really feel the detail of the needles.

This tattoo is completely original. I did it all except the words. I chose what it would say, he chose the design for the words. I drew the rest. I know that next time I'm going to take it to a person who can draw it up their way. I'm not the best artist {obviously} but its only the second tattoo, and its all my own. I'm happy with it.

The only thing right now is the Scorpio sign. Its yellow ink and since the stencil is a purple-ish color, the yellow won't be just yellow until a couple days from now. The stencil will wash out in the shower.

I have to take extra care for it over the next week or so and it should be fine. Its going to be interesting taking care of it since I have trouble reaching that section of my back. But I'll find a way. As long as I don't completely neglect it, I do believe it'll be okay.

Alright I need to work tomorrow. I'm going to get some sleep. I'll write tomorrow after I get off work.

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More stress, though not as much this time
Saturday. 12.16.06 7:09 pm
I did not want to wake up this morning. I am so used to sleeping in on Saturdays that my body and mind were just not wanting to function propperly. I woke up with my alarm, reset it for ten minutes later. Then when it went off again, I turned it off and layed there for a few minutes thinking 'I need to get up'. Finally after a couple minutes I sat up. I sat there for another 5 minutes staring at the clock again thinking to myself 'I really should start getting ready for work'. I finally got up and started getting ready for work.

When I got there I was still half asleep and it took me about half an hour to wake up enough to work propperly without screwing anything up. I was in a fairly good mood this morning, considering I was working on my normal day off. Maybe its just cuz ... actually, I really don't know, but you don't have to have a reason for being in a good mood.

We got our first order at 10:30am and we didn't get another order for two hours. It was slow for a while. Then the power went out. Although it was only out for maybe 15, 20 minutes, it completely fucked up out computer system. We were unable to complete an order on the computer. Which meant that we had to hand write all the orders. Also, since the computers weren't working, we were unable to open the register drawer. And the key to open in manually, was locked in the other safe. The only people who could get in there are the owners.

That's when people decided to come in and order food. It was a headache that we didn't need. It also caused me to leave two hours later than originally planned.

I was going to leave at 2 so that I could come home, shower, get my laundry done and nap for a couple hours. It didn't work out that way. I did, however, get home in time to do laundry. I needed to. I'm out of clean clothes.

There is one good thing that happened today. These two guys that work up at my bank came in to order food. They're both cute so me and Diana were flirting with them. One of them is cuter than the other, but I think they're both cute. Abel {I do believe I've mentioned him before} and the other guy's name we found out is Tino {not sure if that's how you spell it}. Abel is 23 and Tino is 24 so they're not too much older than I am. I'm gonna get my flirt on next time I go to the bank. Which is Tuesday. After Lance made a complete ass of himself, I went out and appologized for his idiocy, and told them that we {Diana and I} think they're cute. Tino said that that made him blush, and told me that I was more direct than expected. I told him that I had no reason not to be. I wonder what's gonna happen when I go to the bank again. Now the two questions are: Are they single? And are they interested? Who knows what could happen. Although, I'm not sure if anything is going to actually happen.

Anywho, I'm getting my tattoo in 2 hours. I'm excited. I just hope it turns out good. No, actually, I hope it turns out awesome.

Ya know, I feel fine working with Lance. Its kind of like old times. My only problem is that once I leave work and no longer have to focus on working, that's when he comes back into my mind. That's when I start thinking about how much I want him. That's when it bothers me. Hopefully, this vacation will help me clear my mind of all thoughts pertaining to wanting him. And have it go back to the way it was before. Then again look how unbelievably long it took me to completely get over David. I hope that it doesn't take that long for this whole Lance thing to blow over. Its good though that we're friends. I do like that.

Alright, I'm watching Gladiator right now. I love that movie. Its one of my all time favorite movies. I would have probably never watched it when I did if we hadn't been playing the score to it in band. As soon as we started playing the music to the movie, I got intrigued and decided to watch the movie. I'm glad I did. It was right after it came out on DVD. Back in freshman year I think, so 2000 or 2001.

I think I'm done writing for now. I'll be back later tonight to hopefully post pics of that tattoo. I'm probably write an entry under a different name though. You all know how I feel about writing an entry under the same name more than once a day.

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Stressed, drained and slightly bothered
Friday. 12.15.06 11:32 pm
Today was just as long as I had thought it would be. I got out of there maybe a half hour earlier than I was expecting, but it was still long.

I woke up at 8am with my alarm, took a shower, got ready for work and left my apartment at approx. 9:07am. I got to work and clocked in at approx. 9:23am. I got myself situated {changed into uniform, got some water} and immediately started working. I had the choice between slicing the cheesecake for the $1000 order or to filter the fryers. Since I haven't sliced cheesecake in a while and I really didn't want to touch the fryers, I decided to slice the cheesecake. I had to cut 3 {12" or 10", I'm not sure which} cheesecakes into 48 slices. That meant that I had to score it twice {we have a thing that scores it into 12 slices} and then had to cut each of the 24 slices in half again. So basically I had to cut 144 slices of cheesecake. My hand still hurts a little from pressing the knife into the frozen cheesecake and its almost 12 hours later.

The catering order went without a hitch. It went as perfectly as planned. The birthday party that came in later that evening also went as well as it could go. The actually went pretty smoothly. It was just constant and busy the whole day.

I'm stressed because I want to make sure that I get everything done that needs to be done before I leave. And I want to make sure that it gets done efficently and propperly. The stress of that and making sure that my other stuff outside of work gets done as well; my appointments {hair and tattoo}, laundry, packing, getting rid of the food that could go bad in the two weeks I'll be gone, etc.

I'm drained because i'm putting forth so much energy. More energy than I'm used to putting forth. And putting so much energy forward in such a short period of time, making sure I have enough energy the whole time, can be stressing.

Now, I talked to Lance today and I found out that he doesn't like me in the same way. I asked him straight out. He's not bothered or weirded out that I like him, but he doesn't feel the same way about me and that's what he told me. He told me that I'm a really good friend though, so that made me happy. I was mad at myself for letting myself like him in that way. I was so set on not liking him, but it happened anyway. I still sort of want a relationship with him, but it's probably much better this way. It most likely would have ended on a sour note and that would have fucked up the friendship as well. I don't want that. Besides, I'm going to be moving in the summer anyway. I don't want to do another long distance thing. I like that we're going to just stay friends. It's going to take some time to get over him, and as long as I don't sleep with him {though I do want to}, then it shouldn't take me long to get over him. So its not really a big deal. I'm sort of bothered by it, but I'll get over it.

My headache isn't going away. Its actually slowly gotten worse over the last few days. Also, in the morning, I've been waking up with a bad stomach ache. Its usually gone by the time I get to work. But the whole time getting ready its there, making me feel sick to my stomach. Oh well. Its probably cuz I'm stressing. And when I stress I don't eat. But whenever I look at food, or even think about food, it makes my stomach upset again.

Today I had a salad and a couple pieces of fudge. That's it. Yesterday I think all I had was a few chicken tenders and a couple chips ahoy cookies. I don't remember on Wednesday. I'm not hungry. Like I said, though, whenever I look or even think about food, I get sick to my stomach. Whatever. I haven't completely stopped eating so its alright.

I just want this vacation to come. I need it. I need to get away from here for some time. Just completely shut myself off from the life I live now and take a break. I doubt two weeks will be enough time, but I'll have to make the best with what I'm given.

I'm getting my tattoo tomorrow; I'm excited. I'm tired. I think I'll be going to bed in an hour or so. I'll write more tomorrow night, and I'll have pics of the tat to post.

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Minor Dilema
Thursday. 12.14.06 10:28 pm
So, uhm... Lance is going to be working at the restaurant again. This will be the 3rd or 4th time he's quit and come back. This is what I was afraid of. I was hoping that I wouldn't have to work with him. This could cause some awkwardness. Another thing is that he doesn't know that the most of the employees {if not all} know how I feel about him. And that they all think we're dating. When he came in tonight to see when he could start working, it was almost as though he was trying to not make it look as if there was anything at all. Erin and Joey both noticed the tension so they were good and didn't joke or say anything. Which I am definately thankful for. I doubt that everyone is going to act the same way.


I don't want our friendship to get fucked up. Relationship or not, we're friends and I really care about our friendship.


My headache is getting worse. The next 4 days are going to be the longest days ever. I have to be at work at 9:30 tomorrow morning and 9:30 Saturday morning. Tomorrow I'm probably going to be there for about 11 1/2 hours. Saturday I probably won't be there past 6, but that's only cuz I already had plans before I even knew that I had to work Saturday. And I can't stay late. Sunday, I have to work more on getting the orders put in for the catering orders they have on Wednesday and Thursday. Then on Monday we have to start putting everything together and finish ordering stuff for the catering orders.

I have 5 more days till I leave for vacation. And even though I'm off on Tuesday, I still have to do stuff. I have my hair appointment, I have to pack, I have to do other stuff that I can't really think of right now. Ugh.

I just can't wait till this next 5 days are over. My headache will probably not be completely gone, but it'll be more dulled out.


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So it begins...
Wednesday. 12.13.06 10:50 pm
Today was not too bad. It wasn't that busy, which meant that I was able to get all the prep done. I had a newbie to train. His parents own another small sandwich restaurant so he basically needs to just learn our ways. I have faith. . . sort of. I rarely have faith in new people until they've been there for at least a week.

Joey came up to the restaurant tonight to bring the CostCo order. He over bought this week so that he wouldn't have to go next week. He also bought Christmas gifts for the managers. He got Gary a mini Heineken Keg. With an already attached nozel. Its frickin awesome looking. He got Erin a bath set. It was a double set with Brown Sugar and White Chocolate scents. He got Tori something {though she's not a manager, yet} but I don't know what he got her. He got me a water window. Its an Ice Castle with snow men in it. Its really pretty.

Its like a giant, fancy snow globe cuz there's snow and glitter that floats around in the water. It requires AA batteries to power the different color lights and the blower to blow around the snow and glitter. I think its really pretty. If you want to see it better just click on it and it'll enlarge it. Joey can be nice and thoughtful when the time is right.

My finger that I smashed yesterday still hurts. Its still bruised, although its not swollen anymore so I guess that's a good thing.

Now, for an explanation on the title. Today started my long ass work week. I started to order stuff for the giant order next week. I'm so glad that I won't be there to work on it. Although I could use part of the tip that'll come with it, I really don't want to have anything to do with putting it together. I remember last year and although it went really well, it still sucked having to make sure it went perfectly.

I'm very excited to getting my tattoo. And I think I'm going to layer my hair rather than just having it trimmed. I need to find out how much more it would be to do that. If its not too much more, then I'll get it done. It'll be something new, and if I don't like it that much, it'll just grow back out.

Lance... I don't even have anything to say about Lance tonight. I'm not too happy right now, but whatever. I go from being happy about it, to being annoyed. So just whatever tonight.

Anywho, I don't really have anything else to say right now. I'll write some more later on when I do.

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The good and the bad...
Tuesday. 12.12.06 8:45 pm
So the good news is that I scheduled my tattoo appointment. I gave him the design to redo and make all nice and shit. He told me that it'll cost about $140 give or take some. Its at 8pm so I should have no problem getting there in time. And I leave in a week from tomorrow. That's the good news.

Now for the bad:

First of all, I slammed my left middle finger in the door when I got home, so now its bruised and it sort of hurts to type. But whatever, its not like its falling off or bleeding. I'll get over it.

Second, I'm probably going to have to walk to my tattoo appointment cuz Katie won't be getting off work until 7:30 that night {she works at UPS so the holiday hours are insane} and it takes another 15, 20 to get to my apartment from her work. The only small issue I have with walking there is that it'll already be dark and I don't like walking alone in the dark. But since its only one traffic light away and it only takes about 20 minutes to walk there, it shouldn't be too bad. I can speed walk if need be.

Third, I have to work this Saturday. I already ranted about having to work on Saturday and why its so shitty, but you can read about that in the previous entry. I don't want to repeat myself too much.

You notice that the bad shit is progressively getting worse and the list is much longer than the good shit.

Fourth, I'm praying that Lance will be able to give me a ride to the airport next Wednesday. I went up to work today to ask Erin if she would be able to, as a precautionary thing, just in case, ya know? Well, she can't cuz they have a $2200 catering order that needs to be done between Wednesday and Thursday of next week. She'll be going in an hour and half early on both of those days to work on it, and the day before they'll start receiving the stuff needed for these orders. {On that note I'm very happy that I'm leaving cuz I remember doing it last year and it sucked ass}. So I'm definately praying.

Fifth {and I think last} Lance won't be coming over tonight... again. I'm not 100% sure that he won't come over cuz he never actually said he wasn't, but I'm almost positive that he won't be. Just simply cuz I want him to. That's how shit like that works. And today when I went up to work, I found out that his younger sister is telling people at the high school that me and him are having sex! We're not,{although I do want to} so its just a rumor. But now people up at work are thinking that we are and are questioning me on it. Ugh!!! It is my fucking business who I sleep with, whether or not they know who the person is. Whatever. People suck.

For the next week, I'll be suffering from a pretty bad headache. It started today and it won't end until I'm in Vegas. As I said in the last entry, I hate the week before I go on vacation.

I will leave you with some funny news. My new shirt that Katie got me for Christmas is a success. I wore it out today and the reactions I got were great. It made me smile inside. People driving by were even slowing down to read what it said. I know that some people were offended, but if that's the case, they don't have to reread it. Nor do they have to look, or wear it themselves. Its MY shirt and I will wear it wherever and whenever. However, I know that my mom won't like it too much, but I'm gonna wear it around her anyway. You're probably wondering what makes this shirt so great so I will end this entry and leave you with what it says:

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