I finally gauged my ears up to a size that I believe I'll be stopping at. My first holes are at a 6 and the second ones are at an 8. Having a 6 gauge in my ear finally makes it actually look like my ears are gauged. When I had the 8s and 10s in, they were still small enough that people didn't really take notice. These are definitely noticeable. They make my ear lobes slightly bigger than they normally would be. However, right now I think that may also be due to some swelling from the fresh gauges ... hopefully the swelling doesn't last too much longer. It'll take at least a couple more days for them heal enough for me to change from tapers to plugs.

There's certainly nothing like the feeling of freshly gauged ears. It's not really an addicting feeling, like tattoos are, but it's definitely satisfying. To me, at least.

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Well, mostly bruised. Beaten, not so much. I have 4 bruises, but only one of them I know how I ended up with it. They're all on my left side and 3 of them are on my arm. The one I know about is from slipping on the stairs when it was raining. It's not advised to wear flats on a rainy day and walk down slippery stairs. There was a knot on my arm, but that has since gone away.

The other three bruises, though, I really have no idea how I got them. Maybe I'm running in to things at Sam's that I'm unaware of? Or I'm placing heavy items just so that it isn't something I would notice right away? Who knows. Either way, it's just kind of curious how I've managed to get 3 mysterious bruises without any idea how I might have ended up with them.

Anywho, there's really not a whole lot going on that's worthy of writing about. I have a bunch of errands to run tomorrow: oil change, car wash, bank, grocery shopping, bra shopping, birthday gift shopping, etc. I'll pretty much be out and about for a good chunk of my off day. Then it's back to work on Saturday. Paydays are usually busy for me anyway. I'll have an enjoyable day off next week.

Oh, I'm planning a trip out to San Antonio at some point, hopefully, in the next couple months. I'll only have to worry about the cost of the plane ticket and having expendable cash. I'll be staying with a friend who lives out there. I'm pretty excited about it, despite the fact that the idea for it was only just recently brought up. I'm going to plan for a week out there. Since I've already used my vacation for this year, I'll be taking a hit in pay, but hopefully with the second job, it won't take much to catch up on or, rather, save up for. I'll probably write about it once I can actually make the official plans for it.

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Since I can remember, I've always worn a 36B {so since I was about 16.} Over the last few years, I'm well aware of the fact that I've gained weight and after having finally sacrificed to buy new clothes to fit me, I always kept up with the same bras. Recently, I noticed that my boobs aren't staying in the cups as well as, well, they're supposed to so I measured myself and came up with a new size. . . a size that looks way too big. I didn't even think to try the bra on because I really felt that my boobs would not fill the cups.

Tonight, my friend and I stopped at Victoria's Secret and I decided that I would get professionally measured, just to see if I was right or if I had completely gotten it wrong ... and I was right. So I finally tried on the bra and it actually fit. A 38C is what I'm supposed to be wearing. I'm still having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that a bra that big fits me. It kind of sucks because I only just recently bought all new bras and now I have to do this all over again. I guess I could always just keep this in a safe place for when* I lose weight. {*It will happen ... it's just a matter of finally motivating myself to get it done.}

Anywho, I guess when I get paid on Friday I'll be making a trip to Target and hoping that I can find a couple really nice, inexpensive {not $48} bras.

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Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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I realized just now that in the last 6 months, I have cycled through being interested in 6 different guys. On Sunday I decided that I would go the entire week without pursuing anyone and I've managed so far, but after this realization, I'm going to put the pursuing thing on an indefinite pause. This year was supposed to be about focusing on myself and here I am doing just the opposite.

Saturday starts a new month and hopefully some new changes. Albeit small changes, but changes nonetheless. The energy will be refocused on myself because I have to improve that before anything else can work out the way I want.

It's taken me nearly half an hour to write this entry so I'm gonna end it here.

Until next time. . .

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So my coworker at my regular job isn't speaking to me, the guy from the other job who asked for my phone number isn't speaking to me and the coffee shop guy isn't talking to me anymore either. What the fuck am I doing wrong?

I need to completely back off of this kick I'm on and take it easy, but as soon as I see someone else who catches my attention, I can't help but flirt. I don't like using the excuse, "that's just the way I am," but it's true. Hopefully today is busy enough that I can stay distracted from my mind wandering.

I had yet another dream about the manager last night. I wish my subconscious would let it go. As pleasant as the dreams are, they're distracting and make me want to act on them. Unfortunately, unless he has a pool, this one isn't ever going to happen. Although none of the other dreams aren't going to happen either, that's beside the point. This one involved a pool and those are hard to come by in the PNW.

Anywho, I needed to get that out of my system. Time to get ready for work.

Until next time. . .

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