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Its not stopping
Sunday. 6.3.07 2:27 pm
As much as I like thinking about David, its not fun when the things I think about aren't going to happen. I can't act on my thoughts. I would give almost anything to have a memorable night with him, but that's just a bunch of wishful thinking.

Its a struggle right now cuz I want to think about David, but I don't want to think about him as much as I am. I want it to go back to the way it was before. Even then, though, I still thought and dreamt about him much more often than I rightfully should have.

The way I feel about him and the way that I care about him, I can't put into words. I can't describe the difference between the way I care about him from the way I care about others. I'm not sure why he holds a special place in my heart as he does.

He's not my boyfriend and never has been, but the kind of relationship that we have with each other ... even that I can't put into words. Its hard to describe the relationship we have.

I have no idea how he feels about me. I doubt very, very much if he feels even remotely similar to how I feel. I know that there has to be at least some sort of small, distinct liking that he feels towards me, but I don't know how small/large that feeling actually is. And I don't know if I'll ever find out. I'll probably be left just wondering and hoping it was actually there.

Maybe I'll find the courage to tell him how I feel before I leave. Expecially with the odds of us keeping in contact are as low as they are, I might be able to get everything out and tell him how I feel and how I've felt. But I'll have to wait and see how things go and what happens.

Alright, I still have stuff to write, but I need to finish getting ready for work. I'll probably write more later tonight.

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well, I got what I wanted
Saturday. 6.2.07 4:12 pm
As I had said, I've wanted to go out with David for quite some time now, and it finally happened. We went and saw Knocked Up {I'm NEVER going to sit in the front row again; the rest of the theater was full so we really had no choice and my neck is now sore} For the most part it was funny. It would have been better had we been sitting up farther in the theater.

Even though I got what I wanted I'm still not as happy as I thought I would be. What happened was that I didn't want it to end. I just wanted to stay with him. If he didn't have to work, we probably would have gone out to get something to eat. Maybe not necessarily at a restaurant, but still it would have meant more time spent with him. He told me he would take me out for ice cream, but I have no idea when.

When we were sitting in the theater, right before the movie started, I said that next time we would make sure not to go that close to the start of the movie. Only after I said it did I realize that there probably won't be a next time. I said I wanted to go out with him once before I moved. Well, today was once. No clue how the ice cream thing is going to work {if it even happens, and God I hope it does} cuz that would mean we'd be going out again.

I already know that things aren't going to be weird at work, cuz I'm not the same as I was two years ago. And I have a boyfriend and there are just so many other things on my mind right now than trying to go out with him again. I don't even work with him that often so there's hardly any time for things to get/be weird.

I do have to admit {and I told him this too} that it was hard for me not to kiss him. He dropped me off at my apartment {I don't blame him for not coming up; its a long, complicated story that I'm not going to get in to} and for a minute I stood outside his side of the truck just talking. Right before we said bye, I felt the strong urge to lean in and kiss him. I didn't, but I really wanted to.

Maybe it'll happen when we go get ice cream. Haha, it was just so random; that he would want to take me out to get ice cream. Nothing fancy, but a nice gesture. I find it quite amusing. I'll probably find it even more amusing {if} when it does happen.

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Shift change
Friday. 6.1.07 10:16 pm
So I was actually working a normal schedule this week ... up until a phone call I got 5 minutes ago. It was Theresa asking me if I could switch shifts with her on Sunday. Meaning she open kitchen and I close manager. I normally would have complained, but I don't want to work with the creepy guy. See, there's this new guy that was hired to replace me and so I'm the one who has to train him. He's just creepy. He hasn't actually done anything specifically to me to make him creepy in my eyes, but he still creeps me out. I still have to work with him on Monday, but one day being creeped out is much better than two days of creepyness.

I'm sure you all have met someone like that. Someone that you don't know, but just the vibe that comes off them and the way they present themselves makes you feel uneasy. That's how this guy is with me {and a bunch of other people that I work with too actually}

Anywho, Justin didn't come over tonight cuz of something to do with a leak and him being the only person home to let in the repair guy. Whatever. I might see him tomorrow night, but I'm not sure yet. His sister's graduation is tomorrow so I don't know if they'll be doing anything special afterwards. He said he was going to call me and let me know what was going on.

Tomorrow David and I are going to the movies. We're gonna be seeing Knocked Up. I'm excited, but I'm trying not to let the excitement overwhelm me. I'm not having too much trouble with it; its fairly easy for me to not let on that I'm excited about something. Although I somehow doubt I'll be able to control my heartbeat when he calls to let me know he's on his way. I guess I'll just have to wait and see how it goes.

Alrighty, I don't know what else to say. I'll write again at some point tomorrow.

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Not to jinx it further...
Thursday. 5.31.07 11:29 pm
But today didn't actually go as bad as the last 4 {or so} Thursdays. I've been saying that every Thursday is jinxed cuz one thing or another has gone wrong, but tonight wasn't that bad. I didn't seem to have any obvious problems. There were two $500 hours, but that was about the only rush that happened. And it wasn't even that bad. Just sudden.

Anywho, as I had posted on Blackfire, I was considering joining another blogging site. Well, I joined Blogspot {which I think is blogger; I'm not sure} I've only posted one thing and its very basic. I'm sure there will be more to come wtih time. I'm debating whether to join another blog site, but I'm not sure yet. If you guys have any suggestions, please feel free to suggest away.

I don't really have anything to talk about.

I have to work tomorrow. I don't want to. I have one month and four days until I quit my job. I'm looking unbelievably forward to it.

Okay, I really don't know what else to say. I'll write again later.

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Nothing to say
Wednesday. 5.30.07 7:28 pm
I actually don't have anything to blog about, but I wanted to write up a blog anyway.

Today was not busy, but I'd rather it have been busy. It was steady. Anyone who has worked in retail/restaurant/store of some sort knows that a steady, constant day is worse than a busy day. Everytime I tured around, there was another customer to help. It took me two hours to do something that should have taken me only 15 minutes cuz the customers just didn't stop coming. And they had to make it difficult by not all coming at the same time. Whatever. I got my stuff done and that's what mattered.

I worked last night, which was weird. It wasn't busy so I didn't really mind it too much. When I got home, I took a shower and I was wide awake. I ended up not going to bed until 2 in the morning. I had to be up at 8 so I still got a good amount of sleep. Oh well.

Justin is coming over in a bit. I don't think we're gonna do anything. Maybe watch a movie.

David has to work on Saturday night. Which sort of screws up our plans, but we'll still be going out. Just earlier in the day. I don't know what time yet. There's a small part of me that thinks {afraid is more like the word} its not going to happen. But I'm really hoping that part of me is wrong.

Alright, I have no idea what else to say so I'll write again whenever.

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Pirates trois, part deux
Monday. 5.28.07 8:25 pm
So, Justin and I went out to see Pirates. I already saw it with Katie, but since he hadn't seen it and I wanted to see it again, we went.

Now, I don't normally like seeing movies more than once in the theater. In fact, I've only ever seen one other movie twice while in theaters: Happy Feet. And the second time, it just wasn't as good.

But today, even with seeing Pirates twice in theaters, it was just as amazing. I love that movie. I still think the end of the credits could be better, but like I said, they only had so much to work with. I'm happy cuz I got to see Justin and I got to see Pirates twice.

I have to work tomorrow night, but Wednesday I get off work at 5 so I might get to see Justin then. The movie Knocked Up comes out on Friday and Justin wants to go see that. So we might be going. He doesn't know that David and I are already going to see it on Saturday. As a matter of fact, no one knows that David and I are going to be going out. And its probably for the best to keep it that way.

Anywho, I don't know what else to say right now so this entry is done.

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