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this will be day 7
Tuesday. 11.27.07 7:55 pm
So today was day six. Tomorrow I will have worked 7 days straight. Then I'm off Thursday and Friday. I plan on sleeping in both days.

Alright, I know I've been saying that I don't know why I suddenly started liking him, but that's sort of a lie. I'm still not sure if it is the reason, but I'm going with it. I'll spare the details, but it's sort of his fault. He said something to me a week ago and it put thoughts in my head. I've liked him since. Ugh.

I found out something today that made me smile. I had to actually stop smiling so that people wouldn't look at me weird, wondering why I was suddenly so happy. Ma informed me that he likes to play bingo! That right there is my guilty plessure. Ma thinks I should ask him to bingo, but I can't do it. I have trouble asking the guy out. I mean hell, it took me a month to ask Stuart out. I don't think I'll be able to torture myself for that long though.

I'm okay with the guy not always paying, but I hate, hate, hate having to make the first move. Gah! I'm so hopeless with this.

At least it's giving me something to talk about.

But for now, that's it.

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le sigh
Monday. 11.26.07 6:24 pm
The drama these days is insane. I'm not necessarily going through a ton of drama right now, but my mom is. And because most of the people my mom works with know me, I don't want to get dragged into it. I've got my own issues right now.

According to mom, he's said that I'm nice and that I remind him a lot of her. That, in itself right there, is what's going to keep this crush that I have from becoming anything more than just that: a crush. I've already listed my reasons and that confirms reason number 3. I've decided that I'm not going to say his name when I talk about him under this account because I realized yesterday that he had accepted my myspace friend request and there's a link to my blog from my myspace profile. I don't want him to know, at least not right now, so I'll just say "him" ... on the off chance he even reads this. If you want to know his name, I've mentioned it on one of my other Nutang accounts.

I think it's funny that one of my horoscopes said "Someone you hardly noticed before will suddenly become a lot more attractive to you, out of nowhere. It's worth giving it a chance." Now, I don't believe in horoscopes, nor do I follow them when I do read them, but I just found it funny how it seems to actually go along with my situation.

Ugh. I feel hopeless with this situation. But ... I always say that in these kinds of situations.

If people payed attention, they'd be able to tell I like him.

Blah. I'm done talking about this ... for today.

Chuck, Heroes and Journeyman is on tonight. I'm excited. I have a feeling they're only going to be on for another week ... the previews/commercials for Heroes seems to be hinting a momentary break in airing. I always hate the breaks. They leave me hanging as to what's going to happen next.

I sort of feel like I'm losing weight, but my pants don't feel like they fit any better. I'm thinking about getting on the scale on Thursday to see if I have lost any weight. Hopefully I have, but then I'll wonder some more about why my pants still feel tight.

Ha, I wasn't intending on this to be long, but it seems it turned out that way anyway. Ooops.

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trying
Sunday. 11.25.07 6:02 pm
The title to this entry has more than one meaning. I'll explain the easiest first.

I'm trying to visit Nutang as often as I can inbetween my weird work schedule. It seems to be working so far. I'm also trying to stay in the top 5 most active. So far, it's working. But who knows. Maybe next month I'll surf enough pages to guarentee my spot in the top 5 without having to fight for the position.

I'm trying to figure out why I'm showing interest in this one guy. Like I said in another entry, he's not all that cute and it was confirmed today that he smokes. But I still like him. My mind is still wanting to focus on him. I get happy whenever I see him. I look forward to running into him.

I mean, I'm not going out of my way to see him. Well ... no, that's sort of a lie. I kinda pushed my sister into going to Big Lots last night because I knew he was working. But other than that, I haven't gone out of my way. And the trip up there wasn't all that spontaneous. She was looking at prices of comforters/bed sheets and we sell them cheap there.

I want to do my hardest to keep it from being obvious that I like him. It's not proven possible yet. Every time I like a guy, I can't keep from making it totally obvious. I've only told one person: my mom. She's the only one I really can tell. He works at my mom's work and mine so I can't tell anyone at either place. He'd find out.

Ugh. I wasn't supposed to like anyone. Not liking anyone would mean I wouldn't have to deal with any kind of complications. I'd be able to avoid those hassels. But alas ... I couldn't avoid it. So I repeat, ugh.

Whatever. I'm sure he'll find out soon enough. I'm just afraid of rejection. There'd be more than one reason for rejection. First off, I don't think he likes me {but that's always the first reason I think of.} Second, we don't really know each other. Third, he knows and works with my mom. So having him over at the house would be weird for him.

Blah. I managed to do it again. I've lost my train of thought. 'Tis the end of this entry.

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quick
Saturday. 11.24.07 11:00 am
This is going to be fairly short. I want to sleep for a bit. Two hours of sleep before an 8 hour shift is not fun times.

I'm working quite a lot of odd hours this week, but that's okay. As much as I don't like getting up, I prefer going in at midnight, 1, 2, 3, 4am {the times vary depending on the day.} I went in at midnight this morning and I got off at 8:30am. I work tomorrow, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday at 3am, 4am, 4am and 4am, respectively. The latest I'll be getting out is noon, so that's not bad. The less time I have to deal with the general public the better. Mind you, I'm good with people. I just don't like them.

Anywho I'll be buying a terrarium for Lotus today. I'll just have Lori pay me back, $5 or $10 a week. The reason? She got out this morning. I was at work and I had Lori come in {once ma went to bed} to check on her and taker her out to stretch for a bit. She came in and saw that Lotus wasn't in the tank. Lori started to freak, but very luckily Lotus had only made it as far as the hangers. Lori said Lotus was just chillin out on my hangers. So she got her back in the cage and put some tape on the back cardboard piece. It wasn't enough, so I bought some duct tape.

Uhhhh that's it. I'm gonna go sleep now.

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enter cliche holiday title here
Turkeyday. 11.22.07 10:16 pm
Gobble gobble. That's all you're going to get out of me regarding this as a holiday.

This morning I got up and watched the whole of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. For some reason it seemed shorter than usual. Not sure why. Then I watched the National Dog Show afterwards. I hate this dog show only because they cut it down to two hours which means they have to cut out over half the dogs in the show. The Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show is much better because it's a two day thing, three hours each day. You get to see every bit of the show. And you can bet that I'm looking very forward to February when it comes on.

After the dog show was over at 2, I had to quickly get ready for work because I had to be there at 2:30pm. Work was sooooo slow. I have no idea how it was earlier in the morning, but in the 5 hours I was there, there was maybe 50 people that came in. Basically it was the calm before the storm. Tomorrow we're going to be killed.

I work from 9-5. I have a feeling I'll be cashiering ... I really don't want to tomorrow. I'd rather be out in the isles helping customers. Who knows what's going to happen.

I don't have another day off until Thursday so I don't know how much blogging I'll be doing. I'll still be around, but most likely not to blog. We'll have to see how it goes.

Ma turned the heat on tonight. It's supposed to be down in the mid 30s tonight and the wind will be picking up a little. It'll be too cold in the morning. I can always just put on another blanket, but this'll warm up my room so Lotus will have more than just the small heat rock and heat pad.

Ugh, I did it again. I got distracted with something and completely lost my train of thought. I'll write again whenever.

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uhm, yeah
Wednesday. 11.21.07 6:46 pm
Alright, I've already posted on Xanga if you'd like to read the whole thing. Here, I'm going to write the shortened version and add a few extra things.

First off, I had a very strange dream last night. I was invovled in an event, but I was there undercover. The person there helping me was the guy who plays Jonas on Bionic Woman. The dream kept skipping ahead; I think I went through 3 or 4 weeks in that short dream. Jonas' cover was that he was my mom's long-time close family friend and I grew up calling him uncle. Long story short, after a time, I started becoming attracted to Jonas, which if acted upon, I'd compromise the our cover. He figured out what was going on and confronted me about it. No harm was done and nothing was acted upon, but I woke up with the image of him burned into my eye lids. It's a grossly, disturbing thing to think about since he's more than twice my age. *shivers*

Anywho, we got Lotus's heating pad put on the tank today. Due to the cold front that moved through last night and the sudden cool weather, it was cold in my room this morning. Right now she's laying on her heating rock. I would too, if I were her.

Haha, earlier today we had her out of the tank and Lori was holding her with one had while she was texting with the other. Lotus started to move over to the hand holding the phone and eventually wrapped herself around the phone. I don't think she liked the phone much because she "killed" the phone.
{btw, the grey in the upper left corner of the picture is the color I have my walls painted}

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. I'll be getting up to watch the Macy's Day Parade, then I'll be watching the National Dog Show afterwards. I have to be at work at 2:30pm. I'll be working till 7. I have a feeling I'll be cashiering, but that's okay. They'll be having some food in the break room for those who had to work, but I'll be going out to dinner with ma after I get off work. Lori and Tony will be at Tony's for the day and Steve will be at his mother's. That's one reason why I'm okay with working tomorrow. I think we'll be getting holiday pay, but I'm not sure. I'll find out tomorrow.

K, I think I'm done for today.

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