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sore and crushing
Saturday. 10.20.07 2:23 pm
Sleeping on the couch is really starting to take a definite toll. My hips and lower back are killing me. I already have a hip problem; this isn't helping. But Jean is too selfish to care.

Anywho, when I moved here I decided that I was going to see how long I could go without getting any and so far I've gone without for just over three months. The fact that I don't know anyone out here helps, but I'd rather that there be temptation. At least then I could test my will power.

What isn't helping is the fact that I've been crushing tremendously on certain actors. My dreams have been awesome, but it sucks because they are actors, so I already know that nothing will happen. I'll be lucky if I even ever get to see them in person. At the moment, it's 5 actors in particular: Damein Lewis {commonly known for Much Ado About Nothing and Band of Brothers; I love him in Life,} Zachary Levi {he plays Chuck in the show Chuck; I don't know what else he plays in,} Seth Green {no explaination needed; everyone knows him,} Shia LaBeouf {from Even Stevens, Holes and Transformers} and Zachary Quinto {he plays Sylar on Heroes; I know he's the bad guy, but he's so damn sexy.}

I have crushes on various other celebrities too, but those are the main ones on my mind lately. I haven't had that many celebrity crushes, at one time, in quite a while. It's nice, though, to be able to watch them on a weekly basis. Except for Shia and Seth. They're not on primetime TV right now.

Uhm, on a different subject, I talked to someone different today. I've never met him, but I'm hoping to at some point before I move. He's got family out here so as soon as he gets the chance, he'll be making a trip out here. While he's here, we're going to meet up somewhere, have a few drinks and hang for a while. It would be nice to finally meet someone from Nutang. There are a few other people that I wouldn't mind meeting in person and maybe someday it'll happen.

Okay, that's enough ... for now.

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meh
Thursday. 10.18.07 1:55 pm
I was hoping to have something more exciting to write about, but alas, I have nothing. I got up early today. Well ... early for me. I was up at 9 and we left the house at 10.

We first went to the convenience store so that I could turn in the application I've had for a couple weeks. Then we headed over to the now-open Ross and wandered for a bit. I asked for an application, but they were out and the lady said they wouldn't be getting any more for another 2 weeks. We left Ross and went next door to the now-open Anna's Linens. I saw a comforter set that I want; it's $100 though. Can't afford it right now.

Once we left there, we stopped at Home Depot so that I could pick out the color paint that I want for my room. I found a perfect grey color. We're also going to be buying a primer to cover up the paint that's already there. Altogether it'll only cost about $40. Not bad for paint. After we left the paint department, we headed over to the kitchen department so that ma could price the refridgerator/freezer, the washer/dryer and oven/microwave that she wants. She'll need about $5000 in order to get it all. That's definately going to have to wait, but she now knows that she can get all of it at Home Depot, rather than getting one appliance at one store and another appliance at another store. Then we went over to the ceiling fans to see about getting me one, but I don't think I'll be able to get one. Oh well.

Once we left Home Depot, we went over to Big Lots so that I could finally turn in my application there. I talked to the manager and she told me that they were only hiring for seasonal and that I'd only be working 20 hours max over 3 or 4 days a week. I told her that was fine. I really need a full time job, but I'll take whatever I can get. I also have an interview set up at the Texas Station Casino on Monday afternoon, so maybe I can get a full time job there and work seasonal at Big Lots. The more money, the better. I should be finding out sometime early next week.

After we left Big Lots, we headed up to the Cannery so that I could {basically} throw away the $5 in free slot play that I got for becoming a member. It took me all of about 2 minutes to waste away the $5. No bingo today. No money to play bingo. Maybe next week. After we left the Cannery, we stopped at Wal-Mart to pick up cat food and then we came home.

I don't know if we'll be going out later or not, but if we do, all I have to do is take off my pajama pants and put regular pants back on. I'm still not getting out of the house much, but since I've been 21, I've been going with ma to the casinos just simply because I can. I like the looks I get.

Alright, I think this is long enough. And to think, this was only a few hours of activity. Imagine if I had been out the whole day and had more money to spend. I will be writing an entry something like that next week, though. But I'll tell you more about it next time.

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alright, just to clarify
Monday. 10.15.07 7:49 pm
I am not taking a hiatus from Nutang altogether. And I'm not taking a hiatus from blogging on Nutang.

I'm simply taking a hiatus from blogging on this name. I'm still blogging on my other two Nutang names. Most of you know what they are. If you don't, ask someone who does.

But none of you need to worry. I'm not, in any way, shape or form, leaving Nutang. I don't think it's possible for me to willingly do so.

I'll return to blogging on this name shortly.

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just a thought ...
Friday. 10.12.07 11:41 pm
I'm thinking about taking a hiatus from blogging on Nutang. Or at least on this name.

I feel like I'm complaining too much; talking about useless things that I continually repeat.

There's nothing going on in my life except everything that can go wrong. I want the next thing I write about on here to be something good, worthwhile.

I don't know if I'll do it or not. I'll still be around, just not to blog.

I guess I'll see how long it can last.

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bah
Thursday. 10.11.07 7:30 pm
I really do hate mood swings. Female hormones suck sometimes.

I feel a little better that I did yesterday. I'm more frustrated than anything at this point in time. Ugh.

Anywho, I'm going out with ma tomorrow. Its her payday and we might stop by the casino and play a session of bingo. Now, usually when you hear of people playing bingo, you think of elderly ladies sitting in a group home hall playing. Here, its not the case. Yes, there are elderly/older people there, but when you have the opportunity to win money, it tends to get younger peoples' attention too. I certain would love to win money. First thing I'd do is pay off my long overdue cable bill.

I'm also going to be turning in a few more applications while I'm out tomorrow. Other than that, I've got no plans.

My life seems to be getting more and more boring by the day.

Alright, I'm done for now. I'll write again whenever.

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I can't think of a title
Wednesday. 10.10.07 10:13 am
Maybe I feel like and think that I'm ready to have a job and get on with my life, but what if the higher ups {God, if you will} has bigger plans for me and to Him I'm not ready yet.

I really do hope the reason for this elongated period of nothingness reveals itself soon. I'm so sick of feeling worthless and hopeless. But with nothing going right, it seems to be all I can feel.

Three months of sleeping on the couch is definately starting to take its toll on my back and neck and hips and shoulders. I can't sit or turn certain ways without being in pain. Even laying down in certain positions hurts now. The fact that I already have a hip problem doesn't add to it. I already can't sit/stand/lay in one position for too long without being in pain. Sleeping on the couch is like adding insult to injury.

To add even further insult to injury, I have no job, I have no money, I have no license or car and I have no friends. At least none that live close enough to be able to do anything with.

What could possibly be the reason for my suffering?

And when will it end?

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