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The weather
A constant state of being.
My Unkymood Punkymood (Unkymoods)
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In a haze
Thursday. 1.11.07 10:45 pm
This morning when I woke up I felt like I was in such a fog that I couldn't think clearly. I couldn't quite focus on exactly what I was doing, but I had no issues actually performing tasks. I feel like the days are just ... slipping by me and I'm living them without knowing. Sort of like ... I'm in such a routine that I only have to be conscious to do what I need to do. I don't seem to have to concentrate in order to complete a day. That's how the first part of my day was.

As the day went on I seemed to surface from the fog, but not enough to be completely out of it. I still feel like the days are just overlapping into the other and that there's no separation. Like I'm just re-living one day over and over with very few differences. Am I making sense? I know how it is in my own head, but I'm having trouble putting it into words. Oh well.

Anywho, I worked for maybe an hour before I finally tried to focus on the stuff I was doing. Vinnie's minion came in to get some soda for himself and the boss. This meant that Vinnie was sitting outside in his truck, like always.

~~> let me give you a real quick insight into who Vinnie Sr. is. Vinnie Sr. and Joe Sr. own the reastaurants {there are three locations, all here in Tucson} and their kids run the individual stores. Vinnie deals mainly with the construction needs. Joe handles the money. Vinnie drinks. And smokes. He's crazy. But he's nice... unless you piss him off. People are scared of him at first cuz he can come off as creepy, but you just have to learn to let whatever he says in one ear and out the other. Once you do that, you're good to go. {Okay so that wasn't short, but I think you get the basic idea} <~~

Shane {Vinnie's minion} is a cutie. I like whenever he comes in cuz its something that makes me smile. The thing I don't like about it is that Vinnie is the one who brings him. Oh well.

Seeing as how I wasn't busy and it would give me the chance to keep looking at and talking to Shane, I walked out with him to say hi to Vinnie. He was the same as always. Weird as ever. But it gave me a few more minutes to look at Shane while I was conversing with Vinnie.

But the inevitable had to happen and I had to get back to work. It was back to the fog, but it wasn't as thick as in the morning. I finished my prep work and chilled out for a while. I was clocked in the whole time so I guess it was alright. Soon enough it was time to go home. I had to stop by the store so that I could get some food. {I'm eating again ~its been three days~ so I felt I should have some food to make up for the lack of nutrition}

Hmm. I need to figure out when I'm going to get my tattoo touched up. The only thing I need touched up is the heart. Its not as dark a red as I want it so I'm going to have him make it darker. Touch ups are free so I don't have to worry about having the money. I just need to figure out when I'll have the time to walk up there. Maybe next month I'll see if Katie wants to go to the mall and we'll stop by the parlor beforehand or afterwards. Its not like its out of the way or anything; its on the way to the mall.

Alright, I'm running out of stuff to say. I guess its a good thing though cuz this was kind of a long entry. Sorry to all of you who've read all the way through it. Its not very interesting. Oh well. I'll end it here.

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Feeling a little better
Wednesday. 1.10.07 7:18 pm
I woke up this morning and I felt a little better. I still sound all congested in my own head, but I can breathe easily through my nose. I'm still coughing a little, but not like I was before. I'll probably be perfectly fine again in the next couple days.

I went to work this morning, like normal expecting to work the whole day. It was really slow and everything got done quickly. I had help today so it was expected to get done in a timely fashion.

Our business was slow due to the not-so-good weather. The cold front moving in from the north is starting to drop the temperatures and drop some hints of rain. Nothing out of control though. There's supposed to be snow on the mountains tonight and tomorrow night. I wish it would snow done here, but that's almost out of the question. At least if it does snow down here, its still too hot for it to stick to the ground. Oh well. I can dream right?

I have to work with Joey tomorrow. I guess it won't be too bad. As long as I stay in the mood that I've been in for the last week, he'll leave me alone for the most part. He told me that I haven't been 'myself' since I came back from Vegas. I'm just using the fact that I've been sick as an excuse. Its not the reason, but I'll let them believe it.

Its depression, but they don't need to know that. So I'll just use different excuses once I get better. I only have to deal with it for the next 5 and a half months, and then I'll move on to make all new problems. Haha. I'll be moving on to start another life elsewhere. Elsewhere being in a place I know better than Tucson, and closer to family: Las Vegas.

*sigh* Alright, I need to take a shower, and I'm going to watch some TV {if there's even anything on} and then probably read a bit. I want to finish rereading New Moon so that I can start this other book series I bought while I was on vacation. The series is called The Vampire Chronicles. Its four books written by Anne Rice. I became very interested in vampires while reading Stephenie Meyer's books so I found other books about vampires. I can only hope they're good. According to my sister they are, so hopefully I'll feel the same way.


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Tuesday. 1.9.07 4:28 pm
Well, my nose is clear enough for me to breathe through, but I still can't smell anything. And when I breathe in deep, it still sounds like its clogged. Oh well. At least now I can have a chance to let my lips become undry from all the mouth breathing {ugh}.

I've been mostly drinking water and Gatorade the last few days. I haven't been eating hardly anything. I can't smell anything and I can't taste anything so the thought of food isn't too appetizing. Besides, I haven't been hungry and I'm not one to force food upon a nonhungry stomach. I've been taking bites of things here and there, but actually taking in enough to call it eating? Not so much. I realize that chicken noodle soup is one of the best things you can have when you're sick, but I don't like soup, regardless if it has chicken in it... {I love chicken}. Oh well. I'll make up for it when I get better and everything has taste to it again.

Its getting hot outside. Today its supposed to be in the upper 70s. Anything above 70, in my opinion, is too hot. I hate the heat. But living in the desert, I can't really avoid it. Its supposed to be warm again tomorrow and then the cold front thats dropping more snow in Colorado is going to be moving down here, making it drop from 73 one day to 29 that night and then only getting up to maybe 60 the next day. And people wonder why they are getting sick. {I know why I got sick; but other people I know don't}

Ugh. Six more months. Six more months, then I can have my mom take care of me when I'm sick. Six more months and I won't be ... well ... I'll still be in a desert, but ... hmm ... it won't get as hot during the summer? I dunno. That one was kind of pointless. Just six more months till I'll be leaving Tucson forever.

Hmm... I was just thinking. I think I need to buy me some more tongue rings. I mean, I already have some, but I need some new ones. And I need ... er, want... a bigger gauge. Nothing too drastic, just one size bigger. I also want to gauge my ears again. I wrote about it when I first did them, but I've had them for a while, and I want them bigger. Just one size bigger. Then I'll be done. I won't go into single digits. Oh well. I'll gauge them again evetually.

Anywho, I don't know how long I'll be awake. I'm probably going to be laying back down again in a while. I'm just glad I don't have to go anywhere today. I'll be able to stay in PJs all day.

Alright I don't have anything else to say right now. I want to thank all of you guys who have wished me well. I appreciate it. And thanks for the suggestions on what to do to get better sooner. Most of them don't work or I'm just too stubborn to try, but its all appreciated.

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Home for rest
Monday. 1.8.07 6:04 pm
I was so close to calling out from work today. I actually called my boss, but changed my mind at the last minute cuz I'm stubborn like that. I told him that I would be there to work, but I don't know how much good I would be. I told him I'd do what I could and do as much as I could.

I'm thankful that today was a slow day. And that there wasn't a whole lot of prep work to do. I didn't get it done as fast as I would normally have gotten it done, but under the circumstances, I managed to get it done efficiently enough.

When there were only a few things left to do, easy things, I asked Gary if I could go. He asked me what was left, and when I told him, he said yes. So I left work about 3 hours earlier than I normally would for a Monday, or any day for that matter.

He kept smiling, smirking and surpressing laughter whenever he came around me. At one point I asked him what was so funny and he told me that I looked horrible. I felt horrible though, so I guess it didn't suprise me that I looked that way also. My sinuses are so swolen, it feels like my eyes are wanting to shut without my permission.

My throat is not bothering me as much as it was, but now my nose is just so stuffed; I woke up periodically during the night cuz I couldn't hardly breathe and I had trouble breathing while working.

I feel miserable. I'm sorry that I'm pouring all this out for you guys to read. But that's what Nutang is for right? To just simply write out your thoughts, opinions, and such. Well, right now, my thoughts are simply on getting better... and before Wednesday cuz that's when I have to work again.

So I've been sitting here for about 5 minutes now, watching E! True Hollywood Story: Johnny Depp. I absolutely love him. He's so hot! And he's an amazing actor. I don't mean to be cliche, but I would have to say my favorite movie of his, is Pirates {both one and two, and also probably when it comes out, three}. I love him in other movies as well; Edward Scissorhands, Secret Window, Blow, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Sleepy Hollow, Corpse Bride {he's the voice of Victor}, From Hell, The Ninth Gate, etc. There are so many movies that's he's been in that are good. I think there's only one movie I saw that he was in that I didn't like: Finding Neverland. As much as I like Peter Pan, I was not at all into this movie. Whatever. He's still an awesome actor.

Anywho, I don't really have much else to say right now. I haven't written anything on either of my other two names lately so I might do that later this evening, granted I'm not sleeping. That's my plan for tomorrow. I don't have to go anywhere, so I'll be sleeping most of the day. Hopefully that'll help my immune system do what its supposed to and get rid of this damn cold. Till then...

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Sunday. 1.7.07 9:11 pm
When I mentioned yesterday {and this morning} that it was just my throat that was bothering me, I think I jynxed myself. Cuz a few hours ago, I started sneezing and now my nose is all stuffy and I can't bend over or look down without it running.

Work felt slow, but according to the numbers, it wasn't all that slow. I was glad it didn't feel busy cuz I was in my 'I don't give a flying fuck' mood. I had a somewhat decent crew today, so I didn't have to pay too close attention to what they were doing. Everything got done and got done fast. So that was good. Overall the work day was alright, but with my lack of energy, and lack of caring, it could have been much better.

*sniff**cough* Ugh!

I went to the store again, after I got off work, and bought more gatorade {gatorade was on sale, I can't afford Orange juice ~at least not the good kind~} and some Tylenol cold to take to work with me tomorrow. I want to see if that'll do any good.

I'm very, VERY anti-medication cuz 99.3% of the time it doesn't work with me. All Nyquil does is help me sleep, but that's why I take it. Advil, Alieve, Tylenol, Midol, Asprin, none of the normal medication that people take on a normal basis, have any effect on me. I figure if I take the medication, and it still doesn't work, I can complain without reprieve.

When I got home, I took some Nyquil {I can feel the fog starting to roll in}, took a hot shower and commented on people's blogs as promised. I'm now sitting here, obviously, writing my own blog and I've got the movie French Kiss on TV. Its a really funny romantic comedy.

I plan on taking more Nyquil right before I go to bed so that I can sleep through the whole night. Don't worry, it'll have been the 6 hours required between doses. I only try to OD on Halls, hehe {they actually say on the back of the package: repeat every 2 hours as needed; that's crazy cuz the cough drops are only effective the 30 maybe 45 minutes before they dissolve completely} Whatver.

I want to rip out my throat and now I want to remove my nose as well. I can't taste anything, and I can't smell anything. Coughing hurts, talking hurts, sneezing is annoying and its not recommended eating cookies {soft, chewy ones are okay} whenever you have a sore throat.

Alright, the fog is starting to take over and I'm having trouble concentrating enough to write much more on this blog. I'll be back on tomorrow to write.

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Saturday. 1.6.07 9:01 pm
I'm officially sick. I don't have a fever and I'm not sneezing, but I'm coughing like crazy and my whole body is just blah.

I've been sleeping most of the day. Lance called, apparently from work, to ask me about something I forgot to order, and I stayed awake for a couple hours. After sitting here in front of the comp, I started having trouble keeping my eyes open so I layed back down. I slept off and on for another three hours.

I would call someone, but I can't hardly talk. It comes and goes. And when its here, its all scratchy and hoarse. Whatever. Its just one of the things I have to deal with when I'm sick.

Tomorrow is not going to be fun. I am the manager tomorrow and I already know I'm not going to be better. And that no one is going to cover for me either. I'm not hospitalized so its not bad enough to have covered. Whatever. I'm stubborn enough to go and work.

I've got laundry on right now. After its done I'm going to take more Nyquil and let it take its affect. Hopefully I'll be able to wake up to my alarm tomorrow.

Alright, I haven't commented anyone yet today and honestly I don't think I will. I can't focus enough to read all the way through the blogs. So maybe I'll be better focused tomorrow and I'll read through them and comment as best I can. Till then... I'm off to drown myself in blankets, ramen, a movie and some Nyquil.

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