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The weather
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one great big sigh of relief
Sunday. 12.23.07 12:39 am
I'm so, so, so happy that NuTang is back. Again Dave, you are the master.

I've got a little bit of time before I can pass out for the night so I'ma write a very short review on stuff that's been going on {at least stuff that I can remember}

~ The talent agency thing is a no go. It's just too effing expensive and the camera thing is just not for me

~ I've been working all kinds of crazy odd hours. Yet I still manage to stay under 40 hours a week. Though lately it's just barely. It should slow down and even out once the holiday is over

~ I contacted my ex to wish him a happy birthday and forgot to block my number. He kept calling me and I wanted him to stop, but I'm not good with being mean if I have no motive. I've long since gotten over him so I'm not hostile anymore. I unintentionally hit a hard nerve a few nights ago and I think that's what's gotten him to stop calling me. I hope it stays that way. I have a feeling it will.

That's it for now. I'm uber happy that NuTang is back. But I'm tired so I'll write tomorrow.

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I've got it
Friday. 11.30.07 11:36 am
Alright, I know what to blog about now.

The whole Mario situation, I'm over it. It's a really big waste of energy to be even slightly upset about him deleting me from his friends list. It was most likely because of the situation going on at home, at the time, and my little issue was just piled on top. But I'm over it.

And I'm quite happy right now. It's dark, cloudy and rainy today! Who gets upset when it rains? Sure as hell not me. I love this kind of weather. It's so much better than the sun.

I'll be lucky if this weather persists throughtout the entire length of the day, but as long as it gets me through till when the sun is supposed to set, I'll be good. I'm even okay if it doesn't rain the whole time. As long as the clouds stay, it'll keep me happy.

Anywho, that's about it for blogging right now. I was going to just wait till the end of the day and write about my day, but I needed to write something so that the depressing entry below this was not the first one people saw when they clicked on my page. I shall write again whenever.

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I guess this is what I was expecting
Wednesday. 11.28.07 11:11 pm
I knew he didn't like me, but I think I waited too long to find out for sure.

Now I know. Or at least I think I do. I think he found out I liked him and didn't like it. He deleted me from his friends list and it hurts a little.

I guess this saves me any more trouble. I can go back to being alone.

Sometimes, I really hate the hands life deals.

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my life is turning into a soap opera
Wednesday. 11.28.07 3:42 pm
I really don't like the way things are starting to become. All the shit that's going on right now is going to drive me crazy.

Work issues that basically ma is the one dealing with, but because I'm back at home, I can be {and most likely will be, against my will} involved at any point in time. I'm not going into details because it's not really for me to tell, but it could compromise my crushing situation.

Because Mario works with ma, if I become involved with him and he comes over to the house, he'll see the home situation and might say something at work. It's not exactly a win-win for me. I'm being jeopardized by the issues going on with my mother.

It's times like these that make me really, really miss living on my own. I liked not knowing everything that went on at the house. Now I'm forced to know everything simply because I'm here.

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this will be day 7
Tuesday. 11.27.07 7:55 pm
So today was day six. Tomorrow I will have worked 7 days straight. Then I'm off Thursday and Friday. I plan on sleeping in both days.

Alright, I know I've been saying that I don't know why I suddenly started liking him, but that's sort of a lie. I'm still not sure if it is the reason, but I'm going with it. I'll spare the details, but it's sort of his fault. He said something to me a week ago and it put thoughts in my head. I've liked him since. Ugh.

I found out something today that made me smile. I had to actually stop smiling so that people wouldn't look at me weird, wondering why I was suddenly so happy. Ma informed me that he likes to play bingo! That right there is my guilty plessure. Ma thinks I should ask him to bingo, but I can't do it. I have trouble asking the guy out. I mean hell, it took me a month to ask Stuart out. I don't think I'll be able to torture myself for that long though.

I'm okay with the guy not always paying, but I hate, hate, hate having to make the first move. Gah! I'm so hopeless with this.

At least it's giving me something to talk about.

But for now, that's it.

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le sigh
Monday. 11.26.07 6:24 pm
The drama these days is insane. I'm not necessarily going through a ton of drama right now, but my mom is. And because most of the people my mom works with know me, I don't want to get dragged into it. I've got my own issues right now.

According to mom, he's said that I'm nice and that I remind him a lot of her. That, in itself right there, is what's going to keep this crush that I have from becoming anything more than just that: a crush. I've already listed my reasons and that confirms reason number 3. I've decided that I'm not going to say his name when I talk about him under this account because I realized yesterday that he had accepted my myspace friend request and there's a link to my blog from my myspace profile. I don't want him to know, at least not right now, so I'll just say "him" ... on the off chance he even reads this. If you want to know his name, I've mentioned it on one of my other Nutang accounts.

I think it's funny that one of my horoscopes said "Someone you hardly noticed before will suddenly become a lot more attractive to you, out of nowhere. It's worth giving it a chance." Now, I don't believe in horoscopes, nor do I follow them when I do read them, but I just found it funny how it seems to actually go along with my situation.

Ugh. I feel hopeless with this situation. But ... I always say that in these kinds of situations.

If people payed attention, they'd be able to tell I like him.

Blah. I'm done talking about this ... for today.

Chuck, Heroes and Journeyman is on tonight. I'm excited. I have a feeling they're only going to be on for another week ... the previews/commercials for Heroes seems to be hinting a momentary break in airing. I always hate the breaks. They leave me hanging as to what's going to happen next.

I sort of feel like I'm losing weight, but my pants don't feel like they fit any better. I'm thinking about getting on the scale on Thursday to see if I have lost any weight. Hopefully I have, but then I'll wonder some more about why my pants still feel tight.

Ha, I wasn't intending on this to be long, but it seems it turned out that way anyway. Ooops.

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