Wow...

that's all I got to say about that.

Coming back to this home (SRU) wasn't as stupendous as it was the other time. Gawl I hope these next two and a half weeks go by, but for some reason I don't think they will. Tuesday and now that I look at the calender, Wednesday are the hump of a days to get over for me this week.

This smiley reminded me of Princess Bride and that one scene.

I never did an entry about what I am thankful for, so I thought I would take the time to jot a few things that pop into my head right now... I am thankful for: supportive amazingly understanding and selfless parents, a brother who is slowly finding his feet in the world, never endingly surprising friends who keep my world interesting everyday, simple moments like going for walks, watching meteor showers and sunsets on the beach, holding hands..., a roof over my head and clothes on my back, food on the cafeteria table that does not get me sick, the ability to get an education, a stupendously sensatively understanding boyfriend, a roomie whom I get along with, a car to drive when I am home, my computer, to be fully functioning.. I could get into small stuff and big stuff... but now my roomie wants to go to sleep, so I'm gonna leave it at that. Good night.

Comment! (0) | Recommend!

It was a night of laughs just like old times as if 4 months had not seperated us.
It was a night of changes, physically and mentally... from haircuts, to acne, to weight loss, to decisons.
It was a night of reassuring hugs in the parking lot and over coffee conversations. It was a night of driving around listening to tunes.
It was a night of wants, needs and losses.
It was a night of stepping back and seeing a totally different person than the one u remember.
It was a night of wishing u had the right things to say at the right time.
It was a night of rekindling connections.
It was a night of missing.

If u were to sum up the feeling of last night... it would form into a picture like this: two old great friends walking barefoot down a back road in the summer after or before a rain storm carrying their shoes and are talking quietly, honestly, bowed heads occasionally looking over the other's face full of emotion whether it be rememberance, remorse or sympathy, and they just keep walking and talking. Silences dot the event and u realize that underneath this person who is now 10 or 20 years older than they were the last time u saw them, there is still that kid who u used to tackle while playing football during the summer who had no worries in life and whose smile was out of his heart... but that kid dissappears now except for those few moments because we grew up... we fuckin grew up.

Comment! (0) | Recommend!

... the world is just falling from under the feet of everyone around you? But ur left standing watching everyone slip and tumble and once u get one person up someone pulls on their leg and they fall again, over and over, it's just a constant cycle. The worst part of it all is that u realize as u are standing, that it's not just their bodies falling away, it is their morals, their dreams, their goals, their hopes, and u just pray that they are gripping onto something strong enough to keep them wanting to hold on and climb back up.

One day till I can be there... for whoever needs me.

Three days till I can escape from it all.

*breath* I need this... all of it.

Comment! (1) | Recommend!

There is something about late night conversations.... especially when the lights are turned off and the people conversing are laying on their backs, looking up at the ceiling (or bottom of a bunk bed) maybe with eyes closed, maybe with them open... just letting their thoughts float around the room, collide with one another and settle into a peaceful resolution. When I am in this state like I was last night, I am sometimes in a zone where I don't even have to think of what to say, but more I find myself speaking without even realizing it, does that make sense? For example, my roomie asked me last night where I see her after college (because she told me where she sees me) and as I answered her I had one of those out of body moments where I heard what I was being said, but it took a minute for me to realized I was the one speaking. Maybe I was in shock as to what she had just told me about my life... about how certain and resolved she sounded about her prediciton... she just said it like, well duh, this is what will happen, end of discussion. She was certain bc she sensed certainty in a span of 10 seconds at most. I am finding that she is very connected to the energy of the world like my mom is and sometimes they might be wrong, but I trust and value their intuitions. So last night after discussing where we will be, what we will do and answering the big ol question of "meghan, will I ever fall in love?" I fell asleep with a smile on my face, very... reassured.

Comment! (0) | Recommend!

Eating corn puffs out of a Total whole grain box is funny. So is walking into ur room out of a shower and thinking u hear a man talking but it is just Bethany , get better girl. U know what is more ridiculous? Is that it has yett o snwo here, but it has snowed at least 6 inches in Murrieta California where my roomie is from and before this, in her entire 18 years of lifetime she has never seen snow there. NEVER. And today it just up and snowed! What made it more ironic was that this morning on our way to breakfast she mentioned hwo her grandmother had said that the weather patterns are changing. Amanda then said, "well I'll believe that when it snows in Murrieta" we get back from breakfast and BAM her friend left her a message saying, "u won't believe this but it is SNOWING!" crazzzy, snow in the desert too! dangggg, I'm scared. Seriously, I am.

Comment! (0) | Recommend!

Me- I'm nervous tho
Chris- don't be, you are amazing meggyo
Me- aw thanks, I'll keep that in mind... find a happy place, find a happy place, Chris said don't worry, meggyo you are amazing, happy place dammit!
Chris- hahahahaha, yea just don't say that outloud

Chris- I think Lauren is cuter than Keith tho, no offense...
Me- hehe I dunnnno! she sure provides some stiff competition tho... wait have u ever seen Keith?
Chris- Nope

Roomie- yea well I will have to be walking to waterpolo practices in the snow soon.
Her friend- whoaaaa, is the pool heated at least?
Roomie- the pool is inside
Her friend- ohhhhh.

Comment! (1) | Recommend!