Work 9:30-12:30 (it's sad that $14 in tips from yest seems very lil compensation for how hard it was) - lunch (last solid food for a whiiiile) - shower- oral surgeon to remove 4 teeth - orthodontist to get spacers for my braces put in - grocery store for non solid food and gauze - home to sleep bc I'm ridiculously tired - figure out how to burn cds on my computer - more sleep ... tomorrow - sleep - more sleep - and prolly some more sleep, unless someone decides to come over, then I will try not to sleep, but no guarentees. I hope they give me some sort of pain killer... just not vicodin! The commenterization has been lacking... well actually there really was none to begin with. Later gators.

Comment! (2) | Recommend!

I had a dream last night... I felt a complete peace, contentment, and comfort I had never thought possible. The dream itself I don't remember, I just rememeber the odd choice of people involved and the feeling... that feeling... was so incredibely strong... if I ever feel that while I am awake, I will know I have found what I am looking for.

Comment! (0) | Recommend!

Ugh... I... am... so... tired. Pooped actually. Work today was worse than yest and I didn't get much sleep last nite either bc I kept waking up and then not waking up when I needed to and yea... sorry about that kiddos. But yea, the day went by verrrry slowwww, I guess that is bc 5 hours is just a shitload of time to be doing work like that. My arms are freakin sore, my legs are giving in, and my neck is having a spaz fest. (and I am swearing way too much these days. I blame that on Christy the manager bc I have been working with her this week) Ughhhh.

8pm- took a nap, got woken up by Li first, looking for her paycheck, then David asking if I still wanted to go out shopping. I guess I sounded really upset, sick or out of it when I talk... so I am told anyway. Now, I am wanting to go for a walk, however I shall hold off bc the awesomest person just signed on. Drop a line.

10:32pm- Just got back from a very enjoyable night time walk with Tom and David. We ran for a bit near the end and I was suprised that I was in better condition than either of them... I could've kept going for a whiiile longer cuz it felt so good to be running next to my friends, in such nice weather and at nite which is always the best time to run. We were discussing how I always walk ahead of everyone, even if it is just half a step, and how it is a control thing. It was concluded that perhaps I would be the dominant person in a relationship, however I'd beg to differ.

*HUG* that was for you...

12:33am- I wish I could make ur pain go away... I wish I had the answers to your questions about love n the girl u care about... I wish I could tell u what to do... but I can't, I don't, and I shouldn't. My exhaustion is dissappearing and being replaced by forced insomnia... its ok, bc I'd do anything for my friends.

Comment! (0) | Recommend!

It's getting easier and easier... All I want to do is... It seems like the things that matter in the long run arrre falling into place... There are no such things as coincidences... When I'm occupied with other ppl's problems I don't have to think about my own, which is good... U have to communicate to understand, u have to understand to be happy... There's now a physical hunger for the psychological hunger... Driving offers such contentment... I am at peace right now... I reallly am... people continue to surprise me with their caring and giving... they also continue to surprise me with confusion but I just stopped paying attention... and *sigh* so much peace.

Comment! (0) | Recommend!

So I got my lisence! ANd then I went out to dinner with the parents at the Pantry which was Deeeelicious. Crispy Chicken Greek Salad and a piece of choc cake with pb icing... (sorry keith, something u cannot enjoy with ur allergy).. then I skidaddled home and wanted to go for a drive real bad so I picked up Tim and we drove around who knows where for an hour, picked up Li and David W, went to the ice cream corner, picked up David A dropped off David W (on the side of the street, loonnnng story), got Tom who burned me a lovely Belle and Sebastian cd *grin* and we went for a short trip to a store, then I dropped everyone off. All in all it was 3 1/2 hours of driving! Got home, got online, talked to David A about his being oblivious to girls, then I heard something hitting my window from outside, I look out and there is Tim throwing shit at my house to get my attention hahaha. So I let him in and he stays and we talk about him and Ana till she called around 1:30am to get picked up at work. Hit my pillow and went fast asleep till I was woken up for work.

Update 3pm- work was... longgg. Christy and I had some good laughs tho! I didn't get out of there till 2:35pm, but I treated myself to some rasberry soft serve on the way home mmm. I looove driving, just cruising even by myself listening to awesome tunes (today it was Belle and Sebastian) with the window partly down to catch the amazing weather. *sigh* it is soooo wonderful outside. Sitting here with my bedroom windows open, the breeze is coming in just hugging me almost, it is so... comforting. My shoulders are spazzing real bad tho, partly bc of the stress of yest and partly bc I had to carry 5 trash buckets full of clean laundry up 2 flights of stairs at work... I need a massage (or muscle relaxers).

Edit- 11:22pm. Went over to Tim's around 4 to hang out n help him babysit for Ana's lil bro Jeremey. They played Mario 3 Nintendo (wow I remember being a pro at that!) while I read more of "Lovely Bones". Then around 7 a bunch of us met at Shank Park to play frisbee. Went to Subway. Headed out to the driving range, went to the grill for coffee, dropped Li off, drove around Deer Run's culdusacs for 15 min talking, and now am here. It was like a planned nite gone blah. oh well, not every nite can be exciting. But I def figured out that I enjoy the times best when we aren't necessarily doing anything exciting but we are talking... whether it is sitting over coffee, driving, walking or chatting in someone's house. Those are the times I really enjoy and value with my friends.

Comment! (2) | Recommend!

Well... those two cups of coffee served me pretty well last nite seeing how I stayed up till 4:30am... talked to Ana about Tim, talked to Tim (who came over at some ridiculous time in the morning before I went to bed) about Ana... I wish the two people in the relationship could just open up to each other. I don't really understand how u can get into a relationship without being able to do that in the first place. *shrug* I'm in this place again, b/w two people I care about who are trying to figure out what they want... so this would be relationship number 4? 5? *sigh* Carrie said something last nite that kind of made me happy to have been put in these situations. "they say that u don't carry a long baggage from high school relationships, that is not true. You do and it becomes harder and harder to trust someone after ur hurt. Don't worry about not having those "petty" relationships, u are better off without them. Just go for the gold and as we will all do here at this table, only get involved in a serious relationship, one with future intentions, not just for the sake of having one." Ana said it too, "it amazes me how u are able to understand things that u have never experienced urself and are able to guide those that are." I live and learn... most of the time by proxy of my friends. It means a lot to me to know that people feel comfortable coming to me with their hearts on a platter and ask "how do I make it stop hurting?" or "wtf do I do now?!" I know that I will, and have made the same mistakes my friends have in their own relationships, I just hope that I have the witts to catch myself earlier and perhaps side step some of them. Now that I think about it... I am grateful I didn't have my driver's license till (hopefully today) because it the forced car rides that has allowed me to connect with these people on such a huge level.... and I love it. It is raining out.. more like pouring and I must go practice parallel parking one more time... wish me luck. Getting help stringing my guitar then test is at 3:30pm.

Comment! (0) | Recommend!