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Right now I wish...
the world was flat
Quotes of the day
Is that a kind of occupational hazard of soul mates ? One's not much without the other ?
- what dreams may come

Can miles truly separate you from friends.... If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there? ~Richard Bach

"I'll love you till the ocean is folded and hung up to dry" -W.H Auden

I'll wait so longingly for you to need me... want me... notice me...

"If looks be the reflections of the mind, the thoughts that in that head are not what they used to be- those thoughts which I knew so well." - De Maupassant in "A Family"

Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life.

If you don't laugh at yourself, life is going to seem a lot longer than you want it to.
-garden state
For you-- John Denver
Just to look in your eyes again
Just to lay in your arms
Just to be the first one always there for you
Just to live in your laughter
Just to sing in your heart
Just to be everyone of your dreams come true

Just to sit by your window
Just to touch in the night
Just to offer a prayer each day for you
Just to long for your kisses
Just to dream of your sighs
Just to know that Id give my life for you
For you for the rest of my life
For you all the best of my life
For you alone, only for you

Just to wake up each morning
Just to you by my side
Just to know that you're never really far away
Just a reason for living
Just to say I adore
Just to know that you’re here in my heart to stay

For you for the rest of my life
For you all the best of my life
For you alone, only for you

Just the words of a love song
Just the beat of my heart
Just the pledge of my life, my love, for you
Profile

Hobbies peer educating, road trips, dancing at Ghost Riders, music, listening), going on random excursions.

College Slippery Rock,

I Like french vanilla cappaccino, pineapple, buffalo chicken, walking in the rain, looking at the stars, watching the sun set, going for long hikes, being around kids, chocolate, mexican food, random road trips, card night

I don't Like heights, the dropping feeling on amusement park rides, people who think that they are better than everyone, humidity, olives, people who don't use turn signals

awesome cd in mind
Believe- gavin degraw
more than anyone- gavin degraw
meaning- gavin degraw
folow through- gavin degraw
I'll be- Edwin McCain
The reason- Hoobastank
Iris- Googoodolls
It only hurts when I'm breathing- Shania Twain
Running away- Hoobastank
100 years- five for fighting
blurry- puddle of mud
wonderwall- oasis
champaign supernova- oasis
someday- nickleback
dremaing of u -selena
1st cut is the deepest- sheryl crow
For you to notice- dashboard
My immortal- evanescence
Wonderful Tonight- Eric Clapton
I'll follow the sun- Beatles
Walk Alone- Green Day
Under the Bridge- Red Hot Chili Peppers
can't stop - red hot chili peppers
saliva- rest in pieces
crash and burn- savage garden
every breath u take- the police
White Flag- Dido
One thing- Finger 11
Collide
Drift away- uncle kracker
When a man loves a woman
drops of jupiter- train
let it be- beatles
country cd in mind
the dance- garth brooks
she's in love with the boy- garth brooks
If i'm not in love- faith hill
breath- faith hill
there you'll be- faith hill
cry- faith hill
I melt- rascal flats
i'm movin on- rascal flats
these days- rascal flats
love you outloud- rascal flats
Let's be us again- lonestar
amazed- lonestar
I need you- LeAnne Rimes
she's my kind of rain- tim mcgraw
i like, i love it- tim mcgraw
favorite oldies cd
when a man loves a woman
wonderful tonight
unchained melodies
say a lil prayer
aint no mnt high enough
faithfully- journey
open arms- journey
I am happy because
new friends
What I am greatful for
the best parents in the world! ftball games, going for walks, going out to dinner, card night, my FRIENDS, awesome conversations, the ability to experience life to the fullest.
to do...
lose 20
sell back book
make mom's cd
clean room/bthroom
gym gym gym
visit eric, becca, kate, katie, kara
currently...
Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference.

I'll be there...always

...I am trying to lose weight, but it keeps on finding me. -author unknown
stopped
Monday. 6.14.04 2:11 pm
Hello, here I am again, did u miss me or were u so knowingly waiting for me to return? Standing at the crossroads that seem all too familiar, I look down each path, weighing out the costs of each. The only problem is that I cannot see the end of the path, or if it even exists. There is no way of telling which path is more dangerous further on, or which one will never end. U can only base ur judgements on the facts and feelings that u have now. Ur life is not already layed out for u, u must create it. Using past experiences is fine and dandy, bc that is how we learn. For some reason, I am not strong enough yet to do that, or maybe I am just too naive. U can not plan too far ahead bc there are an infinite number of variables that will determine any one moment. One step at a time u can walk the chosen path, and at any time u can stop, walk back and stare at the street signes at the crossroads again, bc there will be still others waiting for u or coming back to do the same. This is how we meet people and how life gives us another chance.

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It was the best of times...
Sunday. 6.13.04 11:45 pm
...It was the worst of times... my two very close amgios are going thru prolly the most painful time in their young adult lives tonight. With one I was called up to offer my shoulder to cry on, the other to offer some words of guidance as best I could... here are some I want to remember I said...

Growing up is the hardest thing, for one simple reason...bc it is all new. We are experiencing new things, especially emotions, especially love. Love is so hard because it is defined, expresssed, treated, run away from, responded to in no way to same to anyone at any time. Each person in each new experience creates a new result which makes the posibilities endless of how the person will react... do the math,simple algebra will show u why love is so hard.

I feel this unequilibrium- Well, coming out of a relationship, It's like trying to push a cart on a new path just slightly diverging from an old rutted path u have to try really hard not to just fall back into the path already there it takes work, pain, help, and all that combined u have to do mostly on ur own... bc only u know what u feel and how u can deal with that... n right now u don't even know how. sometimes the answers come when ur not looking and u don't even realize they were answers until much later, u just thought they were random things or nuisances

live knowing that u will gain exactly what u were meant to gain from every experience if u know that u did ur most to give, love and accept.

The what if fantasy is a dangerous place to be in.- tom

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...?
Sunday. 6.13.04 1:30 pm
After a very unrestful night on the couch, I woke up at 7 to go out to breakfast at Soday Jerk with family then went to work till 12:30pm, ate lunch, am gonna start setting up the computer and distract chris from being sad that "someone" is not with him right now. *sigh* I just... am at a loss of words and emotions.

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like it always is
Saturday. 6.12.04 9:33 pm
Just what I needed was a long car ride, talking how we always do about random stuff, people, events, thoughts, just on going constant conversation... that's how it is. Spontanious out of boredom- 8pm, Drove 30 minute to Mt Gretna to go to the Jiggashop for ice cream but it looked too packed so we doubled back to Dairy Queen and I got a small cone, (that I was surprised could not pay for myself bc it was already paid for) and we got Court a blizzard cuz she is sick. Got gas before we were stranded on the side of the road. Drove to her house and dropped it off with her brother. I will always remember our car rides... thanks bud. *blink* *nod* Now off to bed bc I am tired n have to work tomorrow.

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looking for a long time
Saturday. 6.12.04 6:18 pm
I am gonna take the high road, hold my head up high and remember all that everyone has told me, knowing that I should never settle for less. It takes only one day, to wake me up and realize that I was wrong and you all were right... we all make mistakes.

I was just told, from a friend who stopped on by again today before she went off to work again, that I need to be more upfront. That I see things in other ppl's relationships and in themselves but am afraid of pissing someone off so I keep it to myself or only respond positively. I thought I was honest but I guess she is right... at times I try to be fair and although I may see something I either express it in not so harsh terms as I should or esp when it involves myself, I never express the extent of my feelings. If I am mad I convince myself not to be, I give the other person the benefit of the doubt. If I am sad I figure I'll get over it and let it pass. I never confront ppl about how they make me feel or how I think they make others feel thru their actions. Since I am aiming to live an honest life, I shall try to be more honest first to myself. I also was made aware of the fact that actions carry much more weight, a weight that is honest and genuinely trustworthy, than words. It reminds me of a quote that says something to the effect of, " Instead of trying to deny a rumor, live your life to convince others that it is not true." Words can say anything they want, but it is actions that truely speak and make a lasting mark on how someone feels. So another goal in my life is to stop concerning myself with words and start focusing on my actions in letting others understand how I feel.

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thank you thank YOU
Saturday. 6.12.04 5:23 pm
It's those who really love you that come thru with every effort, even on a 10 min work break, with a 102 temperature fever, in the middle of going to 3 other parties, before they catch their planes for Europe and Las Vegas, or after an 8 hour shift just to say hi, congrats and "u look really nice today!"

"I love you Meggy O! But I missed your party cause I was working for my daddy all day. But I love you Meggy O!" - chris.

That hug, wait no it was two hugs, were amazzzzzzzing... thank you soooo much dude! and thank you so much for what u said, it means a lot.

Coach Y (chuck) showed up which was really nice, gave me a hug and a card, joined the adults and me, ate, talked and *sigh* it was nice. Then some kiddos showed up, ate, talked, laughed, just overall enjoyed each other's company in one way or another. Ended it off with a visit from Katie and Tom in which I received the most amazing reassuring hug I have had in... like forever. I always depend on my friends for advise just as they depend on me, but it truely takes something eye opening to suddenly appreciate their advise and take it to heart enough to act upon it. So as I offer advise I realize now how it isn't that they are not listening to me, it is that they haven't realized the reality behind what I am saying. Today's props go out to Tom- Thank you, thank you, thank you, for ur honesty and endless support. I can genuinely say that I hope I never lose touch with you.

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