Psych got let out an hour early today cuz of "technical difficulties". I was bad and slept in today again instead of going to the gym, so woke up at 8am, took a shower and went to breakfast as usual, then during breakfast I just fell into this funk, I think it's about time for me to be in one too which sucks cuz I wanted to get thru this hectic week without feeling like complete shit too. So, in an attempt to counteract this sudden inevitable downfall of mood I stopped at the Marketplace before class and got some m&ms. haha wow, that is really pathetic now that I think of it. Oh well, they are kind of making me feel better, I think it is more the fact that we were let out of the one class I always am on the brink of falling asleep in. I talked to Sarah who is also in my lit and college writing II class and I can't remember her last name.. wait it might be Dobson, but for some reason that name sounds soooooo familiar and she even acts like we've known each other before. odd. Last night talked to Steven from Lit class too about our paper and I feel so incredibely behind, I must do that tonight after the phone. Oh and about lasst night, after I made myself go to bed around 12am and after Bethany came in to wake up Amanda and tell her about a situation going on, I hear the door open and someone comes in and lays down on our floor with a blanket. I thought it might've been Rachelle or Bethany and so I almost threw them a pillow, but this morning I found out that it was Becca! I guess her roommate has been really inconsiderate lately so she came in to sleep with us. I am pretty stressed about what I am going to do tomorrow about rooming. I either won't have a roommate or will have to go live on the none honors floor here with Katie.
Today's schedual:
11am: lit presentation
12:30pm: honor mtg
2pm: chem test
3:30pm: gym/work on paper/work
4:45pm: body ball
6: cardio dance
7: grab dinner
7:30: meet sue for peer education program
8: reality check program
9: back to dorm, phone
10-12am: work on paper hopefully

Comment! (0) | Recommend!

Last night was again... stimulating. I really enjoy meeting new people, and especially people who might offer the potential of sharing ideas with, morales, like deep stuff with.

So I arrived at our meeting place to work with my group on our Interpreting Lit project and only Windrich was there, no Alex and Adam was probably stuck in the horrible driving traffic. Wait around for 10 minutes... Alex is not there, so we go stalk the hallways and find out who his roommate is, look in every open door, knock on a few then are told that he is probably with his gf named... well I thought her name was Chirstina but Windrich thought it was Jamie, so we wandered 4th floor looking for "Alex's gf who we don't know her name" that wasn't successful at all, so we went back downstairs to find out her real name which was Ashley, then finally find Alex *akward silence as he says goodbye* and finally at 11pm we get working on our project.

By 12:30am we are talking about Vagina Monologues and they both wanted to go surprisingly which I found to be awesome, then we started talking about my job and I got to educate them on condom usage and sex... then we got on the topic of oral sex and amazingly both of them said that they admire and hold a diff kind of respect for some girl who is willing to go down on a guy bc they wouldn't ever want to... yea and so that got pretty heated but it was really refreshing to talk to two guys, who btw both have gfs, who weren't gonna stop talking to me cuz i wasn't gonna give them ass, and who respect things like sex, women in general and love. Another topic of discussion was the relaxed view so many ppl have toward sex, and how when someone says "did u get with anyone?" kissing does not count anymore, and how Windrich's gf lives in southern Baltimore (ironic?) and Alex's ex gf lives in DC (even more ironic?) both of them were asked why they didn't get with other girls, bc "exactly... ur gf is in BALTIMORE". They were both appauled by this attitude their friends had and so was I, hitting home I guess. I know it goes on but I am very happy and reassured to know that there are still guys out there (and girls) who hold "i love you" to the utmost meaning in loyalty. Our talks got pretty deep I think, even tho it was nearing 1am... so on a note that was extremely funny but I can't remember what it was at the moment, we parted ways and said goodnite.

I am at work now, drinking hot cocoa and looking up program ideas for eating disorders program that I am trying to create. Court just text me and I called her back with the lyrics to "miss mary mack" haha. Enjoying my least hectic day and I should be back in the dorm around 8pm tonight. later gators.

Comment! (0) | Recommend!

I caught myself thinking today in one of my brief bored moments... how hard it has been to find someone who doesn't smoke, drink or such shit around here, especially at SRU. It's like Marlboro country around here. Then I re evaluated my grounds for friends and realized that perhaps I can deal with a smoker as a friend, but NEVER as a boyfriend and same with drinking. To make a long thought process short I concluded that the only person I know who in every respect has qualified in any and all topic of consideration when looking for a sig other, I already found him... and since then no one else has come close. Although my night was spontanious and gave me the chance to meet new people, I wish it was u I spent it with...

Comment! (0) | Recommend!

So this past week Katie has been dealing with guy trouble... again. This time it is Big B who has fallen head over heels (just like Jared) and after the other night of Ghost Riders where he just started kissing her face and everything.. things got worse bc she is just not interested in him like that. But of course like any NICE guy, he won't take that for an answer, and believes that he can wait around for her to change her mind, that she is the one. However, that is a lost cause cuz Katie is not changing her mind and never will... there is a certain amount to be said about physical attractiveness/chemistry b/w ppl and when u don't have either... and that brings me to my next point of topic...

Lasst night no one was around, so after I went to see National Treasure (highly over rated) with Ash I came back to no one to talk to and I got kinda down about that cuz I really thrive off of human interaction, even if it is jsut talking. I wasn't in need of some new self discovery where solitude would aid me nor was I upset previously where I needed "my space" Then I see someone log on, and we have talked on occasion since he thought of coming to SRU next year, but instead he is set on going to Temple. The first time we talked online it was about SRU and apologies.. for just things went b/w us the past two years. I remember I moved to Hershey junior year and he was in my first chem class then my study hall and being bold as he is started talking to me one day and then for some reason I got the idea in my head that he was stalking me... and then other ppl started saying how weird he was, how much of an ass he was and so being new, shy, I got that idea stuck in my head too... for 2 years I thought like that and it wasn't until I was confident enough in my own enviornment during my senior year when I realized that ppl's judgement of him was uncalled for... not that I knew the things I know about him now, but I just had a sense that he wasn't creepy or weird, he was just not socially like all of us... and that could be due to a lot of things, which after talking to him this year, I realized there is a lot under the skin of someone, a lot of stories, a lot of depth, a lot of com[assion that most ppl choose to not see or not bother to ask. Some of that is due to the fact that he has learned to keep ppl far away, guard himself, and put up this front.. but like everyone i know he has desires, physical, emotional, mental desires. Just like everyone he is captivated by the power of love and wishes to experience that himself with someone else. Whenever I talk to him about anything going on in my "love life" (wow i hate that phrase) he always inspires me to new heights.. just his honest appreciationa nd admiration for love. Maybe it is hopeless romantisicm, maybe it is naivity, but still,...it is compassionate.

So last nite throughout my boredom and loneliness he kept me company from 9:30ish till 1am talking about relationships, ourselves.... and I have to say, I was stunned at some points of the conversation. I mean, I have NEVER had anyone come up to me later and say, "hey I liked u for the longest freakin time". But then again I barely would give him the time of day... and I am ashamed for that. Why did I act that way? Cuz I was immature, afraid of social image, and just stupidly caught off guard by the attention he seemed to give to me. The thing that amazes me is that he forgave me for all of that, for acting like he barely existed for two years. Near the end of senior year I did stand up for him tho to an extent so at least I could say that much. But yea, I dunno.... how I feel. I mean with all this stuff going on in regards to Katie I got to thinking... why do we like certain ppl enough to date them versus all of the rejections we hand out to others? I never thought that I actually had the opportunity to even reject anyone cuz I never thought anyone seriously liked me like that EVER, then Tom would tell me that that was preposterous and then that korean baby dude Dave came along this year who really.... last night I had to apologize to him too. and I think I did in my own way. He is like Carlos was in high school. He is the one that everyone calls a stalking freak, a rapist, blah blah blah... but really he's just socially akward but for some weird reason, would give or do some extreme things to get me to go on a date with him. He's nice, so why wince when he asks for the time of day? I mean is that fair? I don't want to be some girl who is a bitch and puts down ppl who potentially are very deep and amazing, even if it is just to be friends. I mean last night Dave called me a heart breaker, and I never even went out with him. I asked Carlos if he qualified me as being a bitch cuz he said asian sterotype is either quiet or bitchy... and this is what he said.
meggyo86 (11:38:32 PM): was i bitchy?
c: Um...
c:There was one point...
c:But I understand.
meggyo86 (11:39:09 PM): :-(i'm sorry
meggyo86 (11:39:20 PM): i said.. i was caught off guard
c:I know. It's okay.
c: In the long run, it's alright.
c: It always is.
meggyo86 (11:40:01 PM): *nod*
c:See, the way I figure, that one moment would have never made these moments as important as they are.
c:I mean, I see you now as someone whom I discovered only after they left.
c:And that's important to me.
c:Because it reminds me of the good people I never met.
meggyo86 (11:41:47 PM): wow
meggyo86 (11:42:08 PM): that means a lot to me

... got to get back to work.... that's all for now.

Comment! (0) | Recommend!

It was a night of opening up, sharing some stories and thoughts that I never had before outlout with anyone, connecting with others, listening to their memories and reflections, and LOVING every minute of it... I got to talk to Katie at Rockys about relationships, lost friendships, rifts, attachment, holding on, making mistakes, being in bad/for the wrong reasons relationships, realizations about how we should be treated, phone calls, daily routines etc. Then I come back to my dorm and my roomie and I had another fabulous night of talks that we haven't had in quite a while... covering the topics of child developement, oral fixations, emotional development, menstruation, eating disorders, gymnastics/dancing, boob size, guys, thoughts on the world and mostly about growing up, what we remember, how we have, what we face for tomorrow becuase of yesturday..

Observing one of the peer education programs tonight I have some memorable quotes:
"Well I am still a virgin but I am ready to......" * everyone bursts out laughing*
"Why do u have to hold it?" "Well if u pull out too quick it can stay in there"
"Wow, female condoms.... by the time u figure out how to put it in u won't want to do it anymore"
"It's ironic how to get to the health center u have to hike up a fuckin hill"

Some of Mu's reasons why chocolate is better than sex:
- u can have chocolate at ANY time of the month
- u can have chocolate infront of ur mother
- If u bite down on the nuts the choc. won't mind
- u can have choc in as much quantity or whenever u want

Comment! (0) | Recommend!

It seems like the common gift for this year's sweethearts all around me has been rings. Kara got a ring from Ryan, today we found out that Heather got a promise ring (which Jodi didn't know what a promise ring was) from her bf and Dino gave his Japanese gf a ring too,
"so what did u give ur gf for valentine's day?" -sue
"I got her a ring..... *shocked look on his face* wait! no! not THE ring... just a ring" - dino
"kinda like one out of a vending machine that turns ur finger green." -mu
"yea it was just a nice ring, more similar to that thanTHE ring" - dino
ha ok so as far as i know just 3 ppl got rings, but then again, those are the only couples i have talked to about such things so far.
Question of the day (bc Jodi didn't know what to think of it): what do YOU think about a promise ring? worth it? just an excuse not to shell out the real thing, something u get incase u think things could fall thru, cuz ur not old enough... share ur thoughts kiddos!

Comment! (1) | Recommend!