The beach was amazing... and walking on the shoreline at sunset is sooo not over rated! Nor is reading an awesome book in the sand, or drinking pina coolatas (with rum) while playing poker (texas), or window shopping on the boardwalk, or listening in on others' conversations while getting a laugh out of their stupidity, "The sea, man, that is salty... as salty as a salt shaker... in a can!", or taking a shower outside, or seeing dolphins jump out of the water at 8am, or jumping over waves with an 8 year old, or eating ice cream for dinner two nights in a row, or not having to sleep on the floor, or walking past the house by half a mile and having to double back, or taking pictures on a lifeguard chair, or getting woken up by the cutest dog ever licking any exposed part of ur body, or getting yelled at to get off the phone, "which one is it THIS time?" *glare*... what a way to relax.

Too bad the welcome home wasn't so wonderful... A rough night is not complete without my whole right side of my mouth/jaw searing into pain at 1am... I'm destroying my stomach with the amount of ibuprophen I am taking that isn't helping. I also had to call into work today bc I can't get drugs until 2pm... which means I don't know how many days off I call call in now... so far I've missed 5, and I want to ask off July 8th, 28th and 29th, Aug 15-19th. He said we have one week and that is a lot longer than a week... but since the ones in Aug are for college... *shrug* I'm gonna try to sleep the pain away, but I have been sleeping a lot this past week. I think my legs are growing weaker.

Everyone should read "the five people you meet in heaven"

day by day i wake up for you i do
And i rise to who knows who
Well if i can say...some other day

Day by day i reach out to you i do
And i pretend there's something to it
And if i can say...i've had better days

Day by day i resort to you i do
And i wash up after you're through
If i can say...that's o.k.

You're in my head again
You're in my bed again
You're in my mirror again

And if you don't mind me...i don't mind you

Day by day i reflect on you i do
I reflect on you i do
-five for fighting

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"U can't fix the world's problems... all of it anyway."
"I damn wish I could"
"I know but it's not fair to u, for u to get worked up about so many people u know?"

....*sigh*....*shrug*.... It's just something I do. Take it at my expense if u'd like, cuz I am willing to as well, just to save you.

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--- 2 bathing suits, summer pocketbook, sunglasses, 2 pair quick dry shorts, sunscreen, bug spray, thank you cards, razors, earrings, beach towel = first pay check. Nicely everything was 50% off.
--- weather is beautiful.
--- speaking spanish is so much fun.
--- Currently eating cherries, and if I was eating a pineapple and some buffalo chicken pizza too right now in a bug free house on a comfy couch, under a soft blanket, listening to some tuns, I would be close to heaven.
--- thank goodness for aim... for many reasons.
--- off to Dewey Beach tomorrow morning! (gone till Wed night)
--- looking for something insightful to say... best words today "... some things are just too hard for others to understand." "I think those things are the most precious."

Take a load off your feet

stay a while

and tell me all about

your dreams

your wishes

and your needs

then tell me why

your dreams are not reality

your wishes not blessings

and your needs not wants

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Wow... way to shock me off my chair.

Ran, worked a longish day in the blasted heat, home to shower, off to watch all of Band of Brothers (only got did 7 hours). David A leaves for Pitt and then Florida so I won't see him till July 9th! Court and I leave for the beach this sunday and don't get back till Wednesday so I won't be able to talk to anyone then either... mann, I will prolly be making some phone calls.

Anyways... I wish I could lay my head down, but I am waiting just to be able to say goodnight...pretty pathetic eh?

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Woke up at 9:30, fell back asleep at 10:30 and slept till now... 2pm. Whew it is hot as a female dog out there so maybe that is why I am so tired. Had a few dreams in there... something about Rita's, "firm", my bedroom with 4 beds, saving up money, changing radio channels, saving someone from a car crash...? Interesting things those dreams are.
Edit- 1am- Hung out, ate a buffalo chicken pizza which was amazing, played rummy, went out at 10pm to get ice cream sundays, and stopped by David A's in the end. Work tomorrow and then watching "band of brothers" marathon! (So if all goes as planned we'll end around 12am Saturday, then I gotta work again)

I am breathing a breath of relief and a breath of hope. A breath of wonder and a breath of readiness await. A breath of understanding will come after this breath of anxiety. A breath of acceptance will end these breaths of wishing.

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Festivities started around 8pm- Court and Tom showed up, they talked to my dad for a while, helped me bake cookies, Tim and Ana showed up, started a game of UNO which was the longest game of UNO ever... about 1 hour 45 minutes. In the middle there David A showed up, he played with my guitar trying to tune it but since it is ridiculous like that 3 strings broke in the effort. Chris showed up for a bit but sat out. Watched half of Shrek. Had races to see who could call someone's cell phone first and then it just turned into a big ruckus of random calling of cell phones around the table. Thenn got all 6 of us up and dancing (in my living room floor no less), wooh! David A led the way in teaching us turns and moves in merengue, I was mighty impressed by Tim's skill with Ana (even tho i knew he had it in him, he just had to stand up) and watched as Tom and court kinda struggled with moving in such an unfamilar manner. I forget how hard it is to do something which seems so simple if u are not accustomed to moving that way, let alone doing it gracefully. I was barefoot but the 11 inch difference in height b/w me and David seemed to work pretty well. I still have in me that drive to dance... and I miss it. I not only like the opportunities to dance bc I have fun and dancing with someone who knows how to is awesome (or someone who is a cluts, either way it is fun!), but bc it is part of me that has not been expressed in almost 2 years.

Thank you... babysteps all the way.

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