Went into school to get work from teachers. Mr Fricke can kiss my ass, I almost started crying (although I think that has something to do with the hormones and me being sick, not the fact that he is just an asshole). Anywho, all my others teachers were very nice about the work I don't really have to make up.. next week, when ur better, go home and get ur rest, feel better. Man, good teachers rock! Got in a bit of a fight with my mom today as we walked into Giant about senior week, and grad present and how there is no money..... again. grrrrr I hate this! If only I had a job, but nooo, can't say, "if" bc that is not what "is" so you make certain decisions or ur parents make them for you (like not getting u a ss# until it's way past time) and learn to make the best of it. *sigh* So I started crying in giant... now that is twice in one day I almost cried, that is HUGE. (cuz i never can cry) I think these drugs did more than numb the pain and give me headaches. I think tomorrow night my dad and mom are going out... that is HUGE too, cuz they never go out by themselves, it's like a date! haha. They've been married 33 years I think.

They never get to go out, or do anything fun, or go on vacation, just bc of the choices they made like: For my mom to stay at home and take care of the kids, to let my mom have her horse (which I gotta tell ya, costs a lot of money!) For my dad to go buy his thousands of books, to bail my brother out of all his debt problems, to pay for 11 years of ballet lessons, exams, performance tickets and gas money to drive me there every day. Those were the chocies my parents made n they have created who we all are today. While I regret not having more money to spend, or not being able to go on vacation like other ppl, or look foward to a nice grad gift like a car or a laptop, I do thank my rents for making most of the decisions they made. Cuz in the end, I think they chose correctly.

I really am a replica of my mom, when she said that thing about, "if" and "is" I was like.. whoaaaa, that is something I would say! I guess I know where I get it from.

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It's not the pain and the swelling, I can deal with that. It is the sick feeling, the wanting to throwup, the stuffy nose, the headache, the fever, the nausiousness, and the fact that i can't stay awake or well long enough to do any work at all, and i have sooo much! But david a is sure that there is always a way... so I just have to find it i guess. thanks for the optimism.

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I can't be mad, bc i know u have to work... and I shouldn't expect anything more. Yet, how come my friends dropped by just for 10 minuts at least to say hi, to see how I was doing, to comfort me, to help keep my mind off the pain. I tell you that I feel fine, yet I don't. I feel alone. Friends like Dave and Courtney, they have given me so much of their time these past two days to make me happy, to get me out and about. That is what is helping me heal. Even Tim stopped by and gave me his time, it wasn't long, but it was long enough to make me smile all day long. Yet you don't. Oh well, can't expect more out of you than other people i guess, yet those other people have already given me more than you. Oh well, it's just frusterating, cuz I thought I wanted to see you, I thought that being with you for a moment woudl make me forget this pain, but I don't, cuz I have a lot more peopel who are willing to spend time even if they are busy.

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Wisdom teeth out... bleeding for a good 12 hours, swollen a bit now, sore as all get out and am feeling a tad sick, yet... someone made me smile already today!
I really have a lot do this weekend, if i will do it, that is another question. I have been up since 7am ... mann. Listening to some good music, chatten here and there. Planning on learning how to knit so I can knit this weekend. Family is coming down from CT for the weeekend too. I really wish I could eat.. when this is all over I am def going out to applebee's or something, cuz I really want some buffalo wings or an aztec chicken salad. Ate some ice cream that Court brought over yest for me n it felt good when I was eating it, yet now I feel a bit sugar high sick. It made me all happy to have some ppl drop on by last night... Tim surprised me. I walked downstairs and was still half a sleep so I thought I was dreaming, but nope, him and Cary were standing there. i wanted to give him a big hug, but I also didn't want to get any blood on him, so i just stood there and we chatted on the couch for a few minutes before him and cary had to go. I loved his mom's car and it got run over by cary's bro,... so that sucks. I hope this weekend ppl can come over for cards, cuz I should be feeling fine. Keep icing my face which isn't that swollen and taking my vicodine every 4 hours n penacillin every 6. I hate taking drugs, but after that TMJ episode, I am more willing to take them. Congrats to Ashley for getting into Miami! whew. hmmm, anything else? I don't think so. leave nice comments.

now i've heard those city singers
singing about how they could love
deeper than the oceans, higher than the stars above
but i come from the country
and i know i have not seen it all
but i heard that oceans salty
and those stars they sometimes fall
and that would not do justice to the way i feel about you
so i had to sing a song about aqll the things i knew
my love is deeper than the holler
stronger than the river
higher than the pine trees growing up on the hill
and honest as a robin on a springtime windowsill
I and longer the song of a whipper wind
- randy travis

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So dizzy I walked into the office, they strapped me down, put an IV or something into my arm, told me to lay back and I must've gone unconcious soon after that bc the next thing I remembered was walking up lying on my right side with my dad sitting in a chair next to me, and some nice woman changing the gauz in my mouth. Dr. Pepper gave me a $5 gift card to Blockbuster, that was so nice, I love that guy! The surgery went really well they said and it only took them 30 minutes to do all 4 teeth (normally it takes an hour) It then took me 30 more minutes to wake up but my dad said that I walked all by myself to the other room to lay down... went and got my drugs, came home, kept falling asleep but since i had gauz in my mouth the doctor told my dad not to let me fall asleep so he kept tapping me when he saw my eyes close. I was so tired tho. Had to change the gauz every 15 minute4s or so bc of the crazy bleeding. Took one vicodine but by 3pm I was crying in pain cuz my jaw tmj crap started acting up so I took another vicodine n a penacillin incase of infection. Courtney stopped by with ice cream, mmmm, and we watched the rest of Two Towers!!! thanks girl. Ash stopped by too with a sticky dart board incase I get bored, hehe. (p.s. she also got into Miami!) So now I am feeling really good, just a bit tired and waiting for the bleeding to stop. Ooops, time for another vicodine. Feel free to drop by the house n chill

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I have gained 3 pounds in one week. haha. Eric was like, that is nothing, i gained 35 pounds in 2 weeks! ( has to take steroids for some problem he has) whoaaa now that is crazy. anywho, i am sick again. coughing a lung up and all. wisdom teeth coming out tomorrow. 5 day weekend. I think it is funny how Bush got booo-ed today when he put a wreath at MLK jr's grave cuz his policies don't stand for anything that MLKjr did. oh mannn. So I am incredibly bored, I baked cookies, at half the batch and am now feeling sick.. either from the radiation of the computer, the cookies, the knowing that tomorrow I go into my first surgery, or that I wanted to spend some time with some ppl and I wasn't able to. *shrug* Welp, I'm off cuz i really have nothing to say, except that I will be glad when this whole surgery thing is done with. I want to be home recovering fast.... drinking greeen tea and watching chick flicks. haha. While laughing a lot bc I will be under some good drugs. hehe. k, well have a good weekend to anyone who actually reads this anymore.

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