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Right now I wish...
the world was flat
Quotes of the day
Is that a kind of occupational hazard of soul mates ? One's not much without the other ?
- what dreams may come

Can miles truly separate you from friends.... If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there? ~Richard Bach

"I'll love you till the ocean is folded and hung up to dry" -W.H Auden

I'll wait so longingly for you to need me... want me... notice me...

"If looks be the reflections of the mind, the thoughts that in that head are not what they used to be- those thoughts which I knew so well." - De Maupassant in "A Family"

Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life.

If you don't laugh at yourself, life is going to seem a lot longer than you want it to.
-garden state
For you-- John Denver
Just to look in your eyes again
Just to lay in your arms
Just to be the first one always there for you
Just to live in your laughter
Just to sing in your heart
Just to be everyone of your dreams come true

Just to sit by your window
Just to touch in the night
Just to offer a prayer each day for you
Just to long for your kisses
Just to dream of your sighs
Just to know that Id give my life for you
For you for the rest of my life
For you all the best of my life
For you alone, only for you

Just to wake up each morning
Just to you by my side
Just to know that you're never really far away
Just a reason for living
Just to say I adore
Just to know that you’re here in my heart to stay

For you for the rest of my life
For you all the best of my life
For you alone, only for you

Just the words of a love song
Just the beat of my heart
Just the pledge of my life, my love, for you
Profile

Hobbies peer educating, road trips, dancing at Ghost Riders, music, listening), going on random excursions.

College Slippery Rock,

I Like french vanilla cappaccino, pineapple, buffalo chicken, walking in the rain, looking at the stars, watching the sun set, going for long hikes, being around kids, chocolate, mexican food, random road trips, card night

I don't Like heights, the dropping feeling on amusement park rides, people who think that they are better than everyone, humidity, olives, people who don't use turn signals

awesome cd in mind
Believe- gavin degraw
more than anyone- gavin degraw
meaning- gavin degraw
folow through- gavin degraw
I'll be- Edwin McCain
The reason- Hoobastank
Iris- Googoodolls
It only hurts when I'm breathing- Shania Twain
Running away- Hoobastank
100 years- five for fighting
blurry- puddle of mud
wonderwall- oasis
champaign supernova- oasis
someday- nickleback
dremaing of u -selena
1st cut is the deepest- sheryl crow
For you to notice- dashboard
My immortal- evanescence
Wonderful Tonight- Eric Clapton
I'll follow the sun- Beatles
Walk Alone- Green Day
Under the Bridge- Red Hot Chili Peppers
can't stop - red hot chili peppers
saliva- rest in pieces
crash and burn- savage garden
every breath u take- the police
White Flag- Dido
One thing- Finger 11
Collide
Drift away- uncle kracker
When a man loves a woman
drops of jupiter- train
let it be- beatles
country cd in mind
the dance- garth brooks
she's in love with the boy- garth brooks
If i'm not in love- faith hill
breath- faith hill
there you'll be- faith hill
cry- faith hill
I melt- rascal flats
i'm movin on- rascal flats
these days- rascal flats
love you outloud- rascal flats
Let's be us again- lonestar
amazed- lonestar
I need you- LeAnne Rimes
she's my kind of rain- tim mcgraw
i like, i love it- tim mcgraw
favorite oldies cd
when a man loves a woman
wonderful tonight
unchained melodies
say a lil prayer
aint no mnt high enough
faithfully- journey
open arms- journey
I am happy because
new friends
What I am greatful for
the best parents in the world! ftball games, going for walks, going out to dinner, card night, my FRIENDS, awesome conversations, the ability to experience life to the fullest.
to do...
lose 20
sell back book
make mom's cd
clean room/bthroom
gym gym gym
visit eric, becca, kate, katie, kara
currently...
Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference.

I'll be there...always

...I am trying to lose weight, but it keeps on finding me. -author unknown
Got LaX?
Tuesday. 11.9.04 2:34 pm
My motherly instincts keep showing themselves... ooops.
"well keep stretching, doing exercises like toe raises, ice and advil when u need it..."
"yes mommy"
"ok dear *pats head*"

Woohooo for 6 A of the M morning lax practices starting in January!!! plus 4-6pm practice too. So no more sleeping in till 8 or 9am! My schedual will look something like this:
MWF
-I wake up at 5:30am
-go to practice outside 6-7:30am
-go straight to Applied Anatomy
-come back and have from 9-11 to eat and shower
-class till 12 (W lab till 4, then go straight to practice)
-eat?
-practice 4-6pm.
On TR
-wake up at 5:30am
-go to practice 6-7:30
-come back eat and shower
-go to class at 9:30am-12:30pm
-lunch/meeting/practice if it is too cold outside
-class till 3:15pm
-practice 4-6pm.

After practice tho I have nothing which is good cuz I will need that time to do work! Glad I decided to just take 16 credits next semester and they are all done by 4. I really hope I get stuck with the 6am practice instead of the 9pm one, bc that wouldn't allow me time to get all the work done and phone.

We get to scrimage Carnegie Melon one of these next two weekends which will be interesting, trying to throw together a team in 2 practices and teach positions. This better be a fun year.

On a different note: I decided to change my picture project for College Writing, (I love that class!) I'm gonna give this idea a shot and see where I can go with it. It's much more personal but I think I should try running with it. It wasn't even my idea, but someone in my group came up with it today while brainstorming.
I realized that I am experiencing my own sovereign expereince and I am now only consciously aware of my unsovereign perspective on things. I will tell u about it later.

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who turned off the warmth?
Monday. 11.8.04 12:47 pm
Sometimes there aren't answers... nothing makes sense and you wonder what there is left to do. I guess being mad is the easiest, running away is second and trying to start ur life again as if the past didn't hurt is the hardest.

I've been able to say "i'm proud of u" and in the same day I was able to say eat my words and realize that when ppl just aren't ready to do something they buckle and whether or not they mean to, it ends up in ur face, not their's.
On the other hand I was able to say "i'm proud of u" to another person and still mean it.

What to look foward to:
+ SHOPPING! "we have some serious damage to do"- court (I need dress pants/non jeans, sweaters/shirts, hoodies, cards, running shoes, of course we'll end up looking at purses and jewlery [which in itself will take at least an hour and then end up not buying anything]...
+ Seeing my cousins, aunt, uncle, parents, pets
+ Seeing everyone/cards? (or at least trying to)
+ DRIVING!
+ a real shower
+ going for a walk
+ Neato Burrito

Down memory lane:
Whenever someone says Ben and Jerry's I think of when ppl would come over with Ben and Jerry's after they knew I had a bad day and just sit with me, a pint in everyone's hand, even if it was for 30 min and then they left, it meant a lot to me... so does ur apology.

Skepticals
(Taken from actual statements)
I don't know how you do it
sometimes neither do I
then there are days when I am reminded
of why we do it
and that erases all questions of how

So what does he have that I don't?
It's not what he has or what you lack
There are things that can't be created
like invisible threads that tie us together
and silent words that never need to be spoken

DOn't u wish he was closer
Have u ever dreamt?
You know that there u can be with who u want
Even when u wake up u still feel their presence
Every moment of every day I am waking up

Do you love him?
With all my capacity to understand
this feeling called love.
Everything turns into anything
about him I embrace

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wasting time
Sunday. 11.7.04 3:11 pm
Things I am learning in college....
- when presented with a problem, full of emotion and complications you just have to look at the bare facts. Ex: so in essence we have two deseperate, denying, college freshmen guys who think they have found the love of their lives the first try at it, on our hands, whooopy!
- honesty is still the best option... no matter how hard it is.
- sticky notes save u! (I swear brain farts come with being a student)
- to do lists are a must
- not all cafeteria food is bad, just depends on what u choose to eat. ex: peanut butter or rice can't be bad.
- exercise is the best therapy when ur cooped up in a small dorm room trying to write a paper or sort out thoughts
- long walks aren't appreciated enough until u move to a small campus and can't go on them anymore
- you live at your computer desk so buy a nice chair and on your bed so make it comfy.
- trust your instinct
- sucking on pennies lets u pass a breathalizer test even after 5 shots and 1 beer
- ppl really like to hear their own car horns
- procrastination doesn't go away
- mail, food, and aim are the things that keep u happy
- FREE anything is worth it

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can u figure out the idiom?
Sunday. 11.7.04 12:23 am
Where is it?
Blast!
I know it is around here somewhere
Go figure I lose it
or did someone steal it?
It's just not here
Come on, where'd it go?
Not
In my chest
Up to my head
under my foot
or flying
around my stomach
This is what I get for showing it off
Showing it off?
... showing it off...
Ah! here it is
Right where I wanted it
On my sleeve

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lonely weekend cont.
Saturday. 11.6.04 3:40 pm
Mark your calenders for Feb 8th, because Katie and I are going out and buying "The Notebook" and watching it ten times, so don't plan on seeing me that day, hehe.

- woke up once to my dad's voice on the other line "hershey 23, mechanicsburg zerrrrrrrrrrro, ok now go back to sleep"
- Slept in till 10am
- Laundry: machine ate my money twice, had to pull out the clothes and find another machine.
- locked out of my floor bc key won't turn
- lunch with katie, jared and big B. (he ate dessert!!)
- football game fashionabley late (I haaaaate that term)
- "want to see my impression of a star fish?" hahahaha
- I want a kid!
- leave before end of 3rd quarter with a score of 23-14 SRU!
- Ideas for occupying myself for the next day and half alone: finish reading Angels and Demons, finish reading Appetites, re write position paper, write asessment of mentor program *cough* crap* cough*, wash dishes, apply for honors scholarship spring 05, find some way of going to Giant Eagle.

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'someday'
Friday. 11.5.04 11:55 am
Today, while sitting in the Health center for the... 5th time in the past 2 weeks? Yea, so I had to bolt outta my dorm room this morning and visit my favorite ppl at the health center again who I swear think I love going there. Why did I end up walking in 45-50 degree windy weather in flip flops, torn up jeans and a short sleeve shirt u might ask me? Well... everyone knows how I have been complaining of a very painful throat and the nurses couldn't find anything really wrong with me. So, this morning I got up around 9, had a weird taste in my mouth, went and brushed my teeth like I normally do, my throat really hurt, I spit, *pause* looked, closed my eyes, looked again and low and behold a wad of blood just came out of MY mouth. I stood there thinking, well ain't this interesting, I'l be darned! (seriosuly, after juuuust waking up I really was thinking this). This epidemic lasted about 7 minutes. When I could talk without tasting blood I called my parents and asked them what I should do. My mom said it was probably an abssess on my tonsil that finally ruptured. Both of them said to go back to the Health Center. In the end the head physician, Laura, "ur back again!" said that there must've been an abssess on the BACK of my tonsil where they couldn't see it and it finally was so big it burst. The good news is, I am in no more pain whatsoever. So this whole ordeal of lumps on my neck, my tonsils swelling up and not being able to swallow or talk was because of one damn lump probably no bigger than a big zit on my tonsil.

Ok, but I really started this entry to talk about a music video that I saw while I was waiting... It was for the song, "someday" by Nickleback which is still one I quite enjoy, not only bc of the memories that go with it but I dunno, a catchy tune I guess. I never had cable so i never watched MTV, but that is what was on in the waiting room. It was actually quite moving, the video that is. It started off with this girl in her apartment and she looks at the newspaper, droppes her milk on the ground and starts bawling. She picks up a guy's shirt smells it, is stil crying, screaming, and throws stuff into a suitcase. While this is going on u see a guy sitting at the kitchen table looking confused and trying to comfort her but she just brushes him off. She steps in the milk on the floor and u see her footprints as she walks toward the door. The guy steps in the milk and when he walks away there are no footprints. U think, huh? So the girl gets in her car, and the guy starts pounding on the window asking her to stop and not do it, begging her to stay. She ignores him and drives off. He is sprinting behind the car, she looks back in her rear view mirror tears still streaming down her face and there is no one running after the car. U still see him running after her tho, then u see a traffic light turn red, and suddenly a huuuge truck smashes into her car, the guy stands there in agony, ppl are running toward the girl's car. Standing there the guy sees a ghost like form come toawrd him, sees him, she has a smile on her face and they embrace. I'm thinkin... whaaat? Then the screen turns to a newspaper stand and u see on the front page the article she was reading that morning, the headline said something like, "Man dies in Bridge accident" and next to it is the picture of the guy. So... by all of this information the ghost of the bf was still in her apartment when she found out he died, she goes out driving, he tries to stop her, she gets killed, whether or not on purpose, and rejoins him as a ghost. *breath*

My roomie is leaving me for the weekend, so are kara and kate, so there is no one to eat with, workout with..... damn what am I gonna do?! hmph. My dad offered to come pick me up today but that would mean getting home around 8pm, and having to drive back sunday morning.... kinda pointless. Besides, I don't feel that sick anymore. I wish I was home to make apple pies with my mom tho. She was telling me how her and my aunt are trying to find SOME way of getting out of having to eat my grandmother's thanksgiving dinner... hahaha. Oh man, it's funny, but at the same time not bc it just shows how degenerating my gma's mind is getting... how she cooks so blandly, cooks the same stuff even if u tell her not to, cooks the same amount, yada yada yada... ok this entry is long enough.

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