Look at the rain come down... it's just the many wishes that u were here or I was there all tumbling down at once.

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When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

And when the broken hearted people
Living in the world agree,
There will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is
Still a chance that they will see
There will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be. Yeah
There will be an answer, let it be.

And when the night is cloudy,
There is still a light that shines on me,
Shine on until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be.
There will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be,
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.
-beatles

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Whoa... glad we can all have a civil, straightfaced debate whether it is possible to have sex if u are not able to use a tampon. It's quite interesting to see what the guys think is possible and what the girls think is possible. It is also amazing how much the guys know about the female, I guess having girls like us as friends or gf's kind of forces them to learn. Kind of takes the phrase, "From great pain comes great joy" to a whole new level doesn't it? haha. Anyway, it's a muggy rainy day outside. Shopping got canceled bc no one wants to drive, so I suggested walking or singing in the rain! We'll see how that goes over.

I'm gonna stop thinking now... and just start living.

oh boy...

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I've realized that keeping my mouth shut proves so much better now a days than opening it because I have too strong of opinions n perspectives based upon what I am told and what I trust, so I can't say anything bc they just plain refuse to hear it, or it doesn't matter bc what one tellls me they tell another something completely diff, so why say what I was told when it might not even be true? I'm just learning that there are no answers and no truths. It's raining in on my optimism parade.

In deciding what color scheme to go with in my (prolly single dorm room) I ask, "what is meghan-esque?" One replied, "bright and perky" I never thought of myself as being "perky" but I guess I am, maybe bc I laugh a lot. *shrug*

It's so... rejuvinating watching married couples banter (is that even a word?) back and forth at each other, in that kiddish, jokingly but serious manner, where their trying-to-be -restrained-laughter makes u laugh, and u just think about these quotes... "I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life." -Rita Rudner and "Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly." ~Rose Franken

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Oooook, so last night was to say the least... amazing! Things started off slow with dinner and everything but it all worked out in the end. Made a dinner of angel hair pasta with pesto, garlic cheese bread, salad, broccoli salad (made by tim), saltwater taffy from florida (courtesy of david a), doritos (from court), muffins (made by ana), brownies, and sour skittles... odd assortment but provided what everyone needed. After dinner we played 3 rounds of "Clue" which I had forgetten is one of the coolest games ever! Thenn, I went upstairs to brush my teeth, come back down and everyone is gone! (except shoes and purses were still there) so I knew they had to be hiding in my house. After searching a few places I decide to go upstairs again and jsut wait til they got bored and came out themselves. Went down on more time 10 min later to see if they were breathing and find them in the utility closet off of my porch! hahaha. So thennnn, we decided to play hide and seek, but thennn we decided to play sardines instead! Omg it was so much fun. I felt like a little kid again just running around with a goofy smile on my face trying to think of where someone could hide themselves... it was hilarious what some of the people came up with. For example, I ended up hiding on the fifth shelf in my linen closet on these wire shelves in the smallest space possible right near the ceiling!!! I had to climb up there, it was crazy. Another time David W hid IN my prom dress in my closet, David A hid behind the couch and everyone had to then hide with him (hence the term hiding like sardines in a can) and just layed ontop of him, remember there were 6 of us playing. Ana hid UNDER the sink in my bathroom... whew it was quite the ridiculous times. When David W came around 11 we were gonna go outside and pose like lawn gnomes to see his reaction, but we couldn't stop laughing enough to hold our positions still. I'm still laughing inside hehe. So then after the hiding and seeking, we DANCED! And we alllll know how much I loooove dancing. By 12pm David W, Court, Li, had left. David learned some new merengue moves while he was in Florida and so we fooled around with those till 1am and got ana and tim to dance too which was awesome. So then David left bc his sister kept calling asking for her slushi I guess he promised to get her so Tim, Ana and I settled down to watch "The Recruit (sp?)" a movie that I realllly really enjoyed. One of those thinking, suspense, mind games, CIA, Colin Farrel, occasional sex scene, thought provoking movies. By 3:30am Tim left and Ana and I stayed up talking till 5am. We had some very good talks I must say... a lot of it however reminded me of stuff I had forgotten or chosen to think was not an issue anymore. Apparently it is, so we just have to decide what to do. One of those lose lose situations immediately but u hope in the end if u choose the harder route, it will turn out right. With stuff like this... everyone asks, "what DO u say?" and even I do not know... and that is frusterating bc it matters so much. Anyway, so woek up around 8:30 to get ready for work, left by 9:10.... hot sticky humid sweaty, but got $15 in tips in 4 hours so all's good. Now to start a day of nothing... except dinner with the grandparents, blah.

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Gotta stop dreaming and start living. Gotta stop imagining and start seeing. Gotta stop denying and start accepting, for whatever it is worth.

I... just... don't... know... what... to ... say... because everything comes out wrong.

My dad always sang these Rolling Stone's song lyrics, "u can't always get what u want, u can't always get what u want, but if u try, sometimes, u get what u need."

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