WOW! First of all... I freakin LOVE my friends here! They made this experience over the top worth it. It was enough for me to feel empowered, learn so much and have a change of perspective on these issues from doing the monologues but ontop of all that... I really felt loved tonight. Over the past two nights pretty much everyone I knew saw the show: Jared, Trenton, Eddie, Ryan, Kara, Kate, Katie, Big B, Amanda, Becca, Krista, Cindy, Jodi, and I am sure more ppl I don't know yet. So EVERYONE loved the show! And every agreed that more guys should've come, cuz the ones who did, were on the floor laughing, crying (some dude came up to me and thanked me for doing my monologue about rape, I think a lot of the men who were crying during some of the monologues were war veterans who knew the horrors of acid burning and abuse as a "tactic of war" and just really appreciated it. For those of u who think it is a joke, u didn't see it, ask any guy and they will tell u what it really means.

After the show all my friends came down to give me hugs, gave me flowers!!! and helped me take pictures. Then we departed and went to Kate's car to wait for Steve, sang in the car, then went to Esting Park, my first experience. I had had their cookies with Key Club. We were seated in a corner isolated from the rest of the place and definitely deserved to be kicked out.... soooo much laughing, singing even, called each other and Big B in the bathroom to make sure he didn't zip himself, almost choking, quoting moans from the monologue, seeing a bunny, belting outlout "i will remember you" "my heart will go on" "i feel like a woman" "ur my inspiration" "circle of life" in the car on the way home.. and then! I saw my dorm door!!! I couldn't stop gushing for 5 mintues cuz my girls and big b had decorated my door with signs/posters!

I got to work with some older women too, who were just so inspiring in their continuing approach to life... they said this would be a life changing experience, and it truely has been. I acted, something I never did before in my life, embraced myself and even for a little bit accept me for me and be proud, got to share all of this with the people around me who I care about and who care about me...

The only downfall is that I am so hyped from caffeine that I went into a cleaning OCD spree and then proceeded to get ticked off... now I dunno where anyone is. I cna't fall asleep tho so I dunno what to do. I wish the show didn't have to end tho, I really hope we do it next year too. I am crossing my fingers that we get video tapes of the show.

We just spent 3 hours playing Cranium, sooo much fun! I had this ESP moment where katie jsut said... "i'm a singer" and i said, "Bob Dylan" (hah tom thought of u), and bam it was right! No offense but Ryan and Kara's constant ridiculousnes.... maybe it is me but I find acting helpless and always dramatic just to get the attention of ur bf is a bit annoying. I mean u already have him tied around ur finger, and milking it for all u can get just gets on my nerves. Ok well it is now 3am, and I am still wide awake, prolly will wake up in 6 hours for breakfast. goodnight

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Well, the show went very well last night, the audience was FABULOUS as were ALL of the girls. Sue's Moaning got a standing applause from us on stage as well as the audiences and so did the whole show when it was over! I didn't know that anyone I knew was there last night but it turned out Jared (with some myseterious girl who none of us know who) and Eddie (with his gf Angela) were there!! It was of course sold out. I guess my "feel like ur fabulous" outfit went over well cuz I got a lot of compliments... from the girls it was, "aww that is really cute/good!" and the guys was, "u looked reallllllly good [sexy] [hot]" hahahahaha man what a freakin skirt and make up will do! I guess I just look like a complete bumish sickling or something normally. Today Matt asked me twice if I was sick during anatomy, I was just tired and had my usual headache. I would've looked even worse had I gone to the cast party last night and gotten completely trashed but I had to be fully functional to talk to Tom when he called and Keith, and I didn't have my key or ID with me (which could've been a good thing) by accident... PLUS, it just goes against everything I stand for and I know I would've regreted it. Talking about phones.... Tom's messages are the coolest! I got two last night, one before and one after the show, bud. Had a very nice late night convo with Keith, wonderful to fall asleep to . Hopefully I will get my butt to the gym after college writing, then go to work till 4:30 and get ready for the show!

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A carrot an egg and a cup of coffee


A carrot, an egg and a cup of coffee... You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard fo r her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.

Turning to her daughter, she as ked, "Tell me, what do you see?" "Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied. Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft.

The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg. Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity . boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her d aughter.

"When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?"

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength? Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? & nbsp;Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart? Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are thei r greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity?Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?
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May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you h appy.

The happiest of people doesn't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

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Do you want to know what true Love is? What does Love mean? A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean? The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think: ( I might've posted this before, but it is worth posting again)

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca- age 8

When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4

Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts
on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." Karl - age 5

Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy - age 6

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.">Terri - age 4

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." Danny - age 7

Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you
get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss" Emily - age 8

Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." Bobby - age 7
(Wow!)

If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate," Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)

Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." Noelle - age 7

Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." Tommy - age 6

During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore." Cindy - age 8

My mommy loves me more than anybody . You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." Clare - age 6

Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." Elaine-age 5

Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford." Chris- age 7

Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." Mary Ann - age 4

I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren - age 4

When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." (what a beautiful image) Karen - age 7

Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross." Mark - age 6

You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you meanit. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." Jessica - age 8

And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his >lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the, neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry"

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There are no guidelines, rules, handbooks or examples of unrequitted love, except your own.

"Low carb diets cause mental confusion... oh great so they don't even knowww that they are being stupid!" -dietician who came to speak to us about fad diets for ESS.

- expect the unexpcted-

V-day... this year it signifies the V-day that is against domestic violence for me. The girls informed me today at breakfast that on Monday we are being taken out by some of the single friends of theirs... interesting. "why would they show the Grudge on Valentine's Day?!" "So the girls can go 'ahhhh!' and grab the guy's arm of course"

In psych class today the proff said that adolescnce only exists in industrialized countries and that over the past years it has gotten longer and longer.. primarily due to the emphasis on going to college. How people used to get married when they were "teenagers" but now the "adolescent period" lasts until about 24 years old bc THAT is when we finally head out into the working world as an "adult".

Then she asked us to think about how old our parents or grandparents were when they got married... and of course I have thought about this before, and my mom was 19 and my dad was 20. It's just interesting to think that our society allows us this intermediate period of growing up adn we aren't relaly expected to yet until we are out of college... yet damn, I am almost 19, and next year I will be freakin 20! When i was younger I would think that is sooo old... well just ADULTish. Now that I am here, I don't feel like an adult and I keep thinking, man in how ever many years I am gonna have to think about marriage and family... and then I realize that my parents had to do that RIGHT NOW.

Then I realized how much of all this "growing up" stuff I feel like I am so behind on. Like dang, just to think that my mom and dad were deciding on marriage and even tho their circumstances were a bit diff cuz of my mom's over riding feeling, that they made that decision at this same point in their lives... in two months from yest they will have gotten married! That all takes a lot of experience, a lot of knowing urself to be able to make that decision and I know that if they could they would take it back and have finished school, grown up a lot themselves and thenn gotten married. But still... and I mean look, they went thru hell and over high water with just themselves even before kids (my mom said marriage was harder than having kids for them, and normally it is the opposite) and they are still together and this year it will be 32/33 years. I should try to remember that more often.

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Meghan,
This quote reminded me of you an how you treat people.

"Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness.
Every act creates a ripple with no logical end."
--Scott Adams

Love, Pop

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