Talking... juuust talking to someone can sort one's thoughts and feelings better than anything. So I just spent a long time venting to some awesome people who listen to me, and discovered another... 'everything happens for a reason". So with ***** and ***** or even ******, it didn't happen work out how i had hoped... just aggravated by ****** and *****, who just don't think about their actions and how it is perceived by everyone else, and how it hurts others. Buut, I realized that it didn't work out bc my attention needs to be on someone else right now, and when I got that call, I realized who IS there for me, and who I care about the most. Thennn, I talked to Caitlin... and wow, thanks so much she gave me some good strong faith, even tho i don't belive in God, I can believe in fate and have faith in life's plan.

"but it DOES pay off, things DO happen for a reason, Gods timing is SO perfect Meghan, He has the right time and place for you and when He leads you to it...wow....Hes preparing you, making you stronger and wiser and most importantly: appreciative....Let Him guide you...Dont compromise anything for anyone, and God will bless you beyond your wildest dreams. I thrive on that, overcoming my weaknesses to help strengthen myself and others is such an empowering feeling and its so nice to know that even when you're hurting the most and things look sooo dark...that light shining through is God, Hes RIGHT there with you, always, especially when you're feeling lost TRUST ME, you're amazing. I keep praying for you that God will show part of his plan to you, that you'll be blessed with tiny miracles through the good and bad "little miracles" like the lights in the aisle of the move theater...it doesnt light up everything but at least you can find your way" - good old words from caitlin

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So i was all worried I would have nothing to do last night... buuuuut. It all turned out perfectly. I got david #1 to come over even tho he and Li are in a fight. He refused to acknowledge her but we laughed and talked before her and the other david got there. Kelly came over too, which was nice bc I have not hung out with her in a long time. We watched "Just married" and when it was almost over, Tim called me! From Florida! I missed that dude so much yesturday and then he actually called, so that was a really nice surprise. I felt so bad tho, bc I had toleave the movie... so that was rude, then I couldn't really hear Tim, so I didn't say much, and I wanted to know all about his trip and college visits, but I guess last ngith I was at a loss for words. I had so much stuff to tell him too, and I couldn't remmeber any of it. sorry bud. I really appreciated him calling, it made my night so much better, I felt like I could have fun, had permission to, it's complicated. I don't know what I am going to do when Tim and I go off to college... he means so much, more than I can explain, just bc... well I don't know exactly. I just don't think he will ever understand how much, cuz it is not a feeling that every teenager can understand... it is more than friends but not in "that" way... like a brother i guess would be the simplest way to explain it. So call me crazy bc I doubt he feels the same way, but that is just how things are. So anyways, onto other stuff. David #2 moved here from FLorida... whoa just made a weird connection... He moved FROM florida, and Tim is wanting to move To Florida... whoaaa. Ok, so back onto topic, David #2, cool kid and how someone explained him, u can't really find anything wrong with him. So different than what the general opinion is of Tim, even tho i disagree with the general public opinion, but I can see where they get it from. So, making new friends is cool, Li wants to try to make it more, but I guess we'll see what happens. I know what I think, it's just waiting to see what he thinks. Time will tell, but for now, friends stay... and that is what counts. I realized that when someone means a lot to you, or you rnejoy their company a lot... don't automatically think that the way to ensure that is by dating... bc now in this time in my life, I am about to go off to college.... a friend wills tay int ouch, a bf lef ton a bad note won't and u will lose that person forever. That is really what made me re analyze my feelings last year. Well,it's early, i think the adrenalin from last night is still kicking in, which is why I am up so god aweful early. last question.... why do I always end up being friends with the flirts/guy attracting girls? man it gets frusterating sometimes.

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advise from Li... Wait for the boy who pursues you, the one who will make an ordinary moment magical, the kind of boy who brings out the best in you and makes you want to be a better person. Wait for the boy who will be your best friend, the person who will drop everything to be with you at any time of day, no matter what the circumstances. Most of all, wait for the boy who will put you at the center of his universe, because he's obviously at the center of yours.

it's just the damn waiting.. and what do u do, if u were that person for someone else, just they never knew it or cared? *shrug*

Trying to find something to do tonight... always a challenge in hershey, or when u don't have a car, or when ur "frequent" friends are busy with something else and going to giant, renting a movie, and chilling doesn't cut the bread. oh well, boring weeked, so much work to do... blah blah blah. I feel like i am drifting away from some friends, and toward others, jus teh others, aren't going to be "comfortable, call on the spur of the moment, go on random excursions with" friends.... so what do i do? I like expanding my friendships, but I also like a comfort zone. It wouldn't be so bad if I could fucking drive. grrr. oh well, not much else to say, i'm out.

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I don't know... what to do, what I feel, if i should feel, what to say, what to not say, what to let ride on over... that is life for ya.

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Facts of Life**

1. At least 5 people in this world, love you so much they would die for you.

2. At least 15 people in this world love you, in some way.

3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you, is because they want to be just like you.

4. A smile from you, can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.

5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.

6. You mean the world to someone.

7. Without you, someone may not be living.

8. You are special and unique, in your own way.

9. Someone that you don't know even exists, loves you.

10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.

11. When you think the world has turned it's back on you, take a look, you most likely turned your back on the world.

12. When you think you have no chance at getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, you probably sooner or later will get it.

13. Always remember compliments you received, forget about the rude remarks.

14. Always tell someone how you feel, then they'll know.

15. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they're great.

16. You must be a great friend, because someone gave this too you.

"There are many things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few will catch your heart.... pursue those."

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I am a: hug from behind - you like to feel what the other person is feeling and see things how they see them. you tend to be serious and emotional.---it's so true

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