Home | Join! | Help | Browse | Forums | NuWorld | NWF | PoPo   
Memores acti prudentes futuri


You're unsure if I am a loose end or a strand
that waits for you to mend or understand
A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
~ D.H. Lawrence

"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"

"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
~ Seneca

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
~ Daydream Nation

"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

"The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road."
~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend."
~ William Blake
TICoSME
Musicalities!
Online Radio
Soma.fm

More Fun Shtuff
Newgrounds Audio Portal
Pandora
SoundClick
Kill that boredom!
Binder Paper Comics

Web Comics and Such
A Distant Soil (Some nudity)
The Adventures of Gyno-Star (Some explicit stuff)
Aquapunk
Axe Cop
Basic Instructions
Bear Nuts
Beeserker

Blue Milk Special
Bug
Buttersafe
ChannelATE
Cigarro & Cerveja
Crunchy Bunches

Curia Regis
Cyanide and Happiness
dead winter (has some explicit stuff)
Devilbear: The Grimoires of Bearalzebub (PG-13?)
Diesel Sweeties
DUBBLEBABY
Eat That Toast!
E-merl.com
The End
Evil Diva
Evil Inc.
Existential Comics
The Fancy Adventures of Jack Cannon
For Lack of a Better Comic
Forming (Explicit)

Girls with Slingshots (some explicit stuff...?)
Mirror
The Last Halloween
Last Train to Old Town
L.A.W.L.S.
The League of Evil Genius

Legend of Bill
Living With Insanity (some nudity)
Love Me Nice
Married to the Sea
Meaty Yogurt
Medium Large
The Meek
Metacarpolis
Monsterhood
Monsterkind
The Moon Prince
Moth (Some nudity)
Mr. Lovenstein
Muddlers Beat

Natalie Dee
Nedroid
The Non-Adventures of Wonderella
Optipess
Out There
Owen's Uncles
Phuzzy Comics
Political Cartoonists Index
Poorly Drawn Lines
Powernap
The Property of Hate
Red Meat
Rice Boy
Robbie and Bobby
Rosscott, Inc.
Safely Endangered
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Savage Chickens
Scary Go Round
Scenes from a Multiverse
The Secret Knots
Serenity Rose
Stand Still. Stay Silent
Stinking Hellebore
Strong Female Protagonist
Subnormality
Tales of Pylea
Three Word Phrase (some nudity)
Tiny Kitten Teeth
Toothpaste for Dinner
Trying Human (Some nudity)
Two Guys and Guy

Wilde Life
Witchy
xkcd
Yellow Peril (PG-13)

Infrequently/No Longer Updating Web Comics
The Abominable Charles Christopher
The Adventures of Dr. McNinja
The Adventures of Ellie Connelly
American Hell
Bag of Toast
Bear in Mind
Bobwhite
The Book of Biff
Brat-halla
Brightest
Broodhollow
Bullfinch
Camp Weedonwantcha
Chain Bear (Some explicit stuff)
Chainsawsuit
Conspiracy Friends!
Daisy is Dead
Distillum
Dream Life
Dumm Comics
Ectopiary (Some nudity)
Edemia
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life
A Fine Example
Finn and Charlie are HITCHED
Floodmud
Freaks!

Green Wake
Gun Show
Hark! A Vagrant
Head Doctor Productions
Hello with Cheese
Helpful Figures
Hollow Mountain
IDK Comics
Inscribing Ardi
Intragalactic
The Intrepid Girlbot
JBabb Comics
Kyle & Atticus
Lesbian Pirates from Outer Space
Letters to a Wild Boar
Lovecraft is Missing

Manta-man
Meat and Plastic
Minimalism Sucks
Mis-
Moe
Moon Town
The Nerds of Paradise
Nimona
No Reason Comics
Odd-Fish
One Swoop Fell
Patches
Pictures for Sad Children
Raymondo Person
A Redtail's Dream
Riotfish
Roy's Boys (PG 13?)
Run Freak Run
Saint's Way
Shortpacked!
Sin Titulo
Snowflakes
Split Lip
Spooky Doofus
SubCulture
Super Buzzkill
The Super Fogeys
The Super Gay Adventures of Ross Boston
Thermohalia
Troubletown
Mirror
Ugly Girl
YU + ME
2815 Monument

Pure Flash Awesomeness
Aardvardkbutter.com
Angry Alien
Die Anstalt : Toy Psychiatry
The Frown
Hoogerbrugge

Other
Bogleech
Clients from Hell
Brian Despain
Creatures in My Head
Damn You Auto Correct!
Jhonen Vasquez's site
Overheard in New York
Passive Aggressive Notes
Submarinechannel.com
Superdickery
UHpinions
Whirled
aw deez feels
Thursday, October 6, 2016
"Stop Talking" by Memory Tapes.


I've been listening to a lot of Grimes and the Mortal Kombat theme recently, but this song is also nice.

Last night my boyfriend was brushing his teeth, and I looked over at him and was suddenly overwhelmed with a feeling of giddy excitement. I had to turn away to keep myself from giggling uncontrollably. I don't really know why it happened, because most of the time I can look at him without feeling like I'm in high school again, sneaking furtive glances at my crush. This morning I felt pretty cuddly too, but he had to leave for work. I feel like I just want to snuggle up to him in bed and stay there all day. @_@

I don't know where this is coming from. We didn't see each other for a few days this week, so maybe... absence makes the heart grow fonder? I don't have a lot of experience with not-long-distance relationships, so I'm kind of still figuring things out.

Yesterday I walked to a health clinic to do a blood draw for some lab work. When I went to the health center on Monday, they did an EKG on me, but it didn't show anything. The person who checked me out there wants to see if the blood test shows something thyroid-related.

Walking to the clinic only took about half an hour, but I felt terrible by the time I got there. Really lightheaded, and my head was pounding. My heart was also racing, and I tried to take deep breaths to slow it down, but it didn't help. During class in the afternoon, I had some of the same problems even though I was just sitting down the whole time, and I also felt fairly nauseous for the second hour of class. I got dinner after it ended, but felt too sick to eat anything for a few more hours. It felt pretty crappy, and I half-jokingly told my boyfriend over Facebook that I just wanted to lay my head on his lap and complain about how terrible I felt, which is why he came over last night. He's such a sweetheart. >.>

I did miss him though, aside from wanting him to be here so someone would attend my pity party. It feels silly, since I just saw him on like... Sunday morning? and there really aren't that many days between Sunday and Wednesday.

Oh my goodness, I just feel like I love him so much right now that I don't know what to do with myself.

Comment! (0) | Recommend!

Vertigo
Sunday, October 2, 2016
I've been taking vitamins and trying to drink more water, which I think is maybe helping with things. I do feel better than I did before.

On Wednesday I donated blood in the afternoon, and then went to the bookstore to pick up some books I needed for class. While I was standing in the aisle figuring out which books I was going to get, I suddenly felt very lightheaded and dizzy, and I thought I was going to faint. I dropped to the ground and sat there, kind of slumped to the side, leaning on the shelves. I was listening to my iPod, but I realized that I could barely hear the music, and that everything sounded far away and somewhat muffled. My body felt weak, and I was overcome with nausea, to the point where I really thought I was going to throw up. I wanted so badly to be able to go to the bathroom, which is right outside the bookstore on campus, so that I could throw up, but I couldn't move without making the nausea worse. I also realized that the skin of my face felt extremely cold, almost to the point of being numb, and that I had started sweating. Having never experienced a cold sweat before, it was a strange feeling.

I don't know how long I was really on the ground, unable to get up, but it felt like at least five to ten minutes. The entire time I was there, there was a guy only a few yards away from me, looking at his phone. He never once looked at me or asked if I was okay. I ended up just looking at his shoes for a good portion of the time and wondering why he wasn't doing anything. Did he not see me fall? Was he that unaware of his surroundings? Did he just not think it mattered? It was somewhat disturbing to me. I don't think he could have thought my behavior was normal, because I had my head resting on one of the lower shelves and was breathing heavily, and at one point I attempted to move away from the shelf so I could try to crawl towards the bathroom. As far as I know, these are not things people typically do in bookstores.

Interestingly enough, after I finally felt well enough to get up and buy my books, that guy just walked behind me and out of the store, without having bought anything. So he literally just stood in the same aisle as me that whole time and didn't buy anything. The whole thing is just dumbfounding to me, honestly.

I have an appointment at the campus health center for Monday to get checked out, and hopefully there's nothing seriously wrong with me. Most of my friends think it was probably the blood donation that caused the whole incident, but I just want to make sure.

Gonna try to hang out with a couple people from my new cohort today, so I hope that goes well.

Comment! (0) | Recommend!

CL
Saturday, September 24, 2016
11:39 PM.

I've been feeling listless and tired, so I'm looking at the Volunteer section of Craigslist, as I sometimes do when I'm having trouble being interested in life. It seems easier to just sign up for volunteer things than to find something that I want to do for myself.

I submitted some information to a study, so I might end up participating in that. It's been awhile since I was in one, so maybe it would be fun.

Also looking at volunteering for a charity sale, but I'm less sure about that one. Need to look for a job, too... My life feels kind of empty right now and I feel like I should be occupying myself with more, but it's hard to motivate myself when I'm tired all the time. I sleep and only feel awake for an hour or two before I want to sleep again... Bought some multivitamins today in case that has anything to do with it, though.

Have been listening to a few Eerie Summer songs tonight, and they're nice.

"It's Okay" by Eerie Summer.

Comment! (0) | Recommend!

Well, I'm at the quarter century mark now
Tuesday, September 20, 2016
I guess I don't really feel any different now, being 25. My birthday pretty much just felt like another day, it didn't stand out too much. Fro wished me a happy birthday on Facebook I guess, and my mom called me to say it too, but I didn't really celebrate. I miss my friends and wish I could have done something with them.

On the bright side, last night I think I made a friend from my new cohort? We talked a bit after our orientation, and she invited my boyfriend and I to go to a cupcake place with her and hang out a little. She's rather loquacious, but she's very nice, and I like her. When she asked how old I was, I said "Twenty... five... tomorrow," and she said it was a bit of a short notice to bake a cake (she likes to cook), but maybe she'd make something another time. I thought it was really sweet of her. She also said she'd like to throw some dinner parties at her apartment, which sounds like fun, and I'm looking forward to that.

For my birthday... well, we didn't do too much. Checked out a pizza place nearby (and got a slice of peach habanero pizza, which was actually pretty good) with my boyfriend, but mostly stayed in otherwise. We talked about some serious things in the morning, and I was... a bit agitated by some of them, but I felt better later on. I think I was dehydrated today though, because we went to the bookstore so I could get some stuff I need for class, and I felt really off-balance and kind of like I was going to faint while we were there. :S Also checked out the fitness center at school and got a salad to take back to my place...

I felt like it was important to get out of the apartment and walk around, but I wasn't really in much of a mood to do anything outside, so we ended up watching Tetsuo: The Iron Man inside. Probably should have shown him Tetsuo: The Bullet Man instead, as I feel it's a little more accessible, but oh well. We also tried watching Sausage Party briefly, but it was so awful that we stopped it maybe... twenty minutes in? We talked about more Serious Things after that, but somehow transitioned to joking around and laughing about stuff, which lightened the mood a lot. We were kind of mocking New Age pseudoscience-y stuff, and it was a pretty silly conversation. Boyfriend laughed really hard at "free range broccoli" and when I said something about "chlorophyll is just something scientists made up to make us feel separate from plants, but really, the same blood runs through all our veins." It was nice to laugh like that, especially after how I felt earlier in the day.

Oh, and I got a message from a former friend... so we'll see how that goes.

Comment! (0) | Recommend!

Getting the hang of things here
Monday, September 19, 2016
My achievement for the day thus far has been setting up my laptop as a virtual router so that I can have wifi in my place. It wasn't a difficult process, but it just wasn't working before, and now it is, for reasons I do not know. I was able to get online with my tablet, and my boyfriend connected his phone too. ^_^

I'm still settling in here, but I think I'm getting the hang of things more. I had my first on-campus meal yesterday, and it was pretty good. Just enjoying spending lots of time with my boyfriend right now before he starts work and I start school in a couple days.

We have been finding a lot of interesting little parks around here.


My food yesterday! It was super satisfying. o.o


We walked around campus at night yesterday, looking at the gardens, and found this.


And I took a picture of a pretty flower using flash, but partially covered the flash with my hand, and it came out looking like this.


My birthday is tomorrow... I'm gonna be 25. I'm a little bit sad that I won't get to celebrate it with my friends, but I guess I can at least Skype with Becka and Fro (and maybe Vicky) on Friday. And my boyfriend will be here with me, that's not insignificant. He said he already knew what he wanted to get me as a present, but he has to wait for his first paycheck to come in before he can get it. :0

Yesterday he said he hopes we're still together forty years from now... I feel the same way. I know we've been together a relatively short time, but I really feel like we could spend our lives together. It almost seems like it would be unnatural not to.

Comment! (1) | Recommend!

Moved in [2P]
Friday, September 16, 2016
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

Comment! (1) | Recommend!

Close to departing
Sunday, September 11, 2016
Well, it's my last night here for awhile. I kind of just shoved a bunch of stuff into my luggage haphazardly, so hopefully I didn't forget anything important. Packing made me much more aware of just how many clothes I have. >.>

I hung out with Fro, Becka, and Vicky today for a couple hours. We're planning to try doing a group Skype call once a week to stay in touch. I really hope it works out. I don't want to lose my friendship with any of them. Even though I'm sure I'll make new friends in my new cohort in grad school, they aren't going to replace my existing friends. Plus, I told Fro she could be one of my bridesmaids if/when I got married, so I need to stay in contact for that reason. :P

It's strange to be moving and to feel so little about it, even though it seems like such a big change in many ways. I feel like I'd normally be much more worried about it. Fro said that my recent lack of strong emotions could be related to anxiety/stress, and that she sometimes gets that kind of emotional cutoff when faced with a big change. Maybe she's right, I dunno. This time is different than when I moved to New York to go to St. John's in 2009. I was a lot more alone then. Now I have my boyfriend, and things seem a lot less scary with him around.

Comment! (1) | Recommend!

B Dubs Twenty
Thursday, September 8, 2016
I'm listening to a lullaby version of "The Real Slim Shady" by Eminem right now. It's uh... interesting? There are apparently tons of albums worth of these lullaby renditions of popular songs, so I'm exploring some of those at the moment.

My boyfriend was lying on my bed, playing Twenty. He just managed to get to 20, but he's not very good at multitasking, so it required extensive pause usage to get there. It was fun to see him play it, though. :P It's been awhile since I introduced someone to the game.

I had kind of a casual going away party last night, which was nice, although I felt super exhausted afterwards. I've been feeling pretty tired lately and I don't really know why. I guess I feel somewhat more awake right now, but it took pretty much the whole day to feel that way. We're going to watch a movie now, so hopefully I'll be able to stay awake for that.

Comment! (1) | Recommend!

randomjunk's Weblog Site • NuTang.com

NuTang is the first web site to implement PPGY Technology. This page was generated in 0.031seconds.

  Send to a friend on AIM | Set as Homepage | Bookmark Home | NuTang Collage | Terms of Service & Privacy Policy | Link to Us | Monthly Top 10s
All content � Copyright 2003-2047 NuTang.com and respective members. Contact us at NuTang[AT]gmail.com.