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Memores acti prudentes futuri


Can't you see what you've done to my heart and soul?
this is a wasteland now
A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
―D.H. Lawrence

"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"

"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
―Seneca

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
―Daydream Nation

"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories — if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
―The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

“The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road.”
― Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita






TICoSME
Musicalities!
Kill that boredom!
Binder Paper Comics

Web Comics and Such
A Distant Soil (Some nudity)
The Adventures of Gyno-Star (Some explicit stuff)
Aquapunk
Axe Cop
Basic Instructions
Bear Nuts
Beeserker

Blue Milk Special
Bobbins
Broodhollow
Bug
Buttersafe
Camp Weedonwantcha
Chainsawsuit
ChannelATE
Cigarro & Cerveja
Conspiracy Friends!
Crunchy Bunches

Curia Regis
Cyanide and Happiness
dead winter (has some explicit stuff)
Devilbear: The Grimoires of Bearalzebub (PG-13?)
Diesel Sweeties
Distillum
DUBBLEBABY
Dumm Comics
Eat That Toast!
Ectopiary (Some nudity)
E-merl.com
The End
Evil Diva
Evil Inc.
Existential Comics
The Fancy Adventures of Jack Cannon
For Lack of a Better Comic
Forming (Explicit)

Girls with Slingshots (some explicit stuff...?)
Mirror
Hark! A Vagrant
Head Doctor Productions
Hollow Mountain
IDK Comics
Inscribing Ardi
The Intrepid Girlbot
JBabb Comics
The Last Halloween
Last Train to Old Town
L.A.W.L.S.
The League of Evil Genius

Legend of Bill
Living With Insanity (some nudity)
Love Me Nice
Married to the Sea
Meaty Yogurt
Medium Large
The Meek
Metacarpolis
Monsterhood
Monsterkind
The Moon Prince
Moon Town
Moth (Some nudity)
Mr. Lovenstein
Muddlers Beat

Natalie Dee
Nedroid
The Non-Adventures of Wonderella
Optipess
Out There
Phuzzy Comics
P.I. Jane
Political Cartoonists Index
Poorly Drawn Lines
Powernap
Red Meat
Rice Boy
Robbie and Bobby
Rosscott, Inc.
Safely Endangered
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Savage Chickens
Scenes from a Multiverse
The Secret Knots
Serenity Rose
Stand Still. Stay Silent
Stinking Hellebore
Strong Female Protagonist
Subnormality
The Super Fogeys
Tales of Pylea
Three Word Phrase (some nudity)
Tiny Kitten Teeth
Toothpaste for Dinner
Trying Human (Some nudity)
Two Guys and Guy
Mirror

Witchy
xkcd
Yellow Peril (PG-13)

Infrequently/No Longer Updating Web Comics
The Abominable Charles Christopher
The Adventures of Dr. McNinja
The Adventures of Ellie Connelly
American Hell
Bag of Toast
Bear in Mind
Bobwhite
The Book of Biff
Brat-halla
Brightest
Bullfinch
Chain Bear (Some explicit stuff)
Daisy is Dead
Dream Life
Edemia
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life
A Fine Example
Finn and Charlie are HITCHED
Floodmud
Freaks!

Green Wake
Gun Show
Hello with Cheese
Helpful Figures
Intragalactic
Kyle & Atticus
Lesbian Pirates from Outer Space
Letters to a Wild Boar
Lovecraft is Missing

Manta-man
Meat and Plastic
Minimalism Sucks
Mis-
Moe
The Nerds of Paradise
Nimona
No Reason Comics
Odd-Fish
One Swoop Fell
Owen's Uncles
Patches
Pictures for Sad Children
Raymondo Person
A Redtail's Dream

Riotfish
Roy's Boys (PG 13?)
Run Freak Run
Saint's Way
Shortpacked!
Sin Titulo
Snowflakes
Split Lip
Spooky Doofus
SubCulture
Super Buzzkill
The Super Gay Adventures of Ross Boston
Thermohalia
Troubletown
Ugly Girl
YU + ME
2815 Monument

Pure Flash Awesomeness
Aardvardkbutter.com
Angry Alien
Die Anstalt : Toy Psychiatry
The Frown
Hoogerbrugge

Other
Bogleech
Clients from Hell
Brian Despain
Creatures in My Head
Damn You Auto Correct!
Jhonen Vasquez's site
Overheard in New York
Passive Aggressive Notes
Submarinechannel.com
Superdickery
UHpinions
Whirled
Looky here
free counters
Gahhhh stupid wind I hate you sometimes
Friday, September 25, 2009
The wind is blowing my hair into my face in a most unpleasant manner. D:

Let's see.... last night was fun. Umm, had dinner with my friends in the dining hall, then walked back to the dorms and like.... sat. On the floor. Outside my room. I tried reheating the leftovers my mom gave me in the microwave my roommates brought, but it started to smell burnt in the room so I freaked out and stopped it. Relocated the food to a plastic bowl that Saeedah supplied, and then tried again in her microwave.

Meanwhile, we Ousted my room, propped open the door with my chair, and attempted to open the window. We were unable to do so. (That thing is really freakin' hard to open...)

Thankfully the burnt smell left... and I don't think I broke the microwave, since they haven't said anything to me yet. For a bit though, it was scary.

I ate my food, and we continued to sit in the hall. After Saeedah left, Casey and I went into my room and searched up all the gay pride music we could think of on Youtube, and had a blast listening to it and laughing... We also went through the iTunes Essentials and said stuff like "hey, I have this song!" Or "I have all of these songs, and they're on the Gay Pride playlist.... what does that say about me?"

Fun stuff.

Still have not written him yet.... I should really do that. D:

---Edit---

-Talking about sexual experience-
One of us: Yeah it seems like he would've done more
Me: Just looking at him, I feel like he'd have been around the block a few times or something, like he'd have more experience under his belt...
-Short silence-
Casey: Wow
Me: Yeah, wow, that was a good one, gotta remember that one, man, I didn't even notice I said that at first
-Laughter-

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Hey, I guess this is actually happening now
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Meeting arranged with Silver for Saturday, October third.

I still need to write a letter to him, too. D:

Why does this seem so harddddddd...

---Edit---

Hey, cool.

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Everywhere a drill drill
Thursday, September 24, 2009
4 AM: A loud buzzing noise permeates our room. The three of us awake, startled but sleepy, and sit trying to understand what it is. Finally my roommates put on their shoes and look outside to see if anyone else knows.

It's the fire alarm. The sound overwhelms everything else, screaming incoherently at us.

Feeling a bit ruffled, I shuffle outside in my pajamas, joining the mob that is flowing outside.

We stand on the wet grass in front of the building, waiting to be told that we can return to our beds. Some people are very upset about their interrupted sleep. Others are taking pictures with their cameras as the firetrucks roll up. I'm just laughing.

Finally they tell us that we can go back inside. Everyone gravitates to the entrance of the hall, pushing past fellow students so as to get back to bed more quickly.

6:30 AM: My alarm goes off. I quiet it with a touch of a button and try to sleep for a brief ten minutes, then sit up in my bed and think, tiredly, about getting dressed.

Eventually I dig some clothes out of my drawers and put them on, then put my bag on and go to class.

9 AM: A few students, myself included, stand outside a classroom, waiting to go inside. A voice crackles over the PA system, telling us that a fire drill is being conducted and to exit the building.

WHAT THE HELL ST. JOHN'S.

---

The green sour Jelly Bellys taste gross. It's like they took the coffee jelly beans that nobody wanted and spray painted them green.

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Missing posters D:
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
I didn't get to take pictures of all the posters, because half of them were gone when we walked around today...

Here's the first one, though:

I just wrote whatever came into my head and then drew a picture to accompany it.

If you don't vote for Clarence his wife and kids will be mulched. :0

You can probably tell that I didn't know how to spell or draw a weasel...

Let's see... went to Times Square today. We walked into Magnolia Bakery, and wow, just wow, guys. They had these samples of banana pudding, and I was reluctant to try it at first. I was like "I dunno, I don't really like banana pudding..."

But then I tried it, and everything changed.

That pudding was freaking amazing. So amazing that I had to buy some more because it was absolutely delicious. Seriously. The small size was still more than I needed, but I kept eating it because it tasted so good. I ate the whole thing and then scraped out the leftover bits on the side of the container, even though I was full to the point of being sick.

---

People keep telling me bad things about him. Like I should break up with him and move on. I don't even know why they're saying these things. What would be the point of breaking up with him if I don't want to go meet other people? Wouldn't it make more sense to just wait for him to come back? And this "moving on" business...Really? It's not like I'm stuck on him. My heart isn't being broken more with each day that he's not here.

What is WITH people....

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Half and half day
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
The first half of my day was not super peachy, but I guess that's alright.

I took a nap and woke up to my phone vibrating on the desk... I had been having a strange dream about chatting with a pedophile online.

...That was the first dream I really remembered in detail since I've been here...

At home my dreams are vivid and colorful, more-real-than-reality spasms of places and experiences.

Here my dreams are grey and unfantastic, and apparently have some sort of storyline...?

In the dream, I was sitting on a couch with some of my relatives, and talking with said pedophile in an online chatroom. He asked me if I had any pictures of me with my dad, and I said no, so then he started asking me weird things... Like did I have any pictures that involved waterwings or log rides.

I'm not sure if it would've gotten stranger, as Saeedah's call woke up.

We went to dinner, which was alright, if not extraordinary. For some reason I was starving... I ate everything I got, with the exception of a disgusting piece of honeydew that tasted of laundry detergent.

After that, we went and got ice cream, then returned to the dorms.... That's where the fun started.

Saeedah and I walked around, taping Post-its up that said "Saeedah 4 vice president"... even though she's not actually running. :P

Some of them were pretty funny. I wish I could show you some pictures, but I didn't really take any....

I also picked up the actually serious posters that had fallen to the ground, taped them up facing the wall, and drew on the backs with a Sharpie. It was pretty epic. Unfortunately I have no pictures of those either, but perhaps I will try and get some tomorrow...

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Thinking about writing
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
I barely know what was being taught in my classes today. For pretty much the whole time I was just researching the Marines and ways to send mail to bootcamp.

...Never in my life did I think I'd have a boyfriend who was going into the military...

Of all the things I've considered, this was never one of them. How is that even possible? I guess I always somewhat assumed I'd end up with a geek, not a jock. Man... :|

I just realized that this has been the first day since we met that we haven't talked. Jeez...

[They say absence makes the heart grow fonder; I guess I'll find out if that's all true]

-Sigh-

I care about him a lot. Maybe I'm not really attracted to him, and maybe I'm just not into it as much as he is, but I do care about him.

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Okay well, that's over [2P]
Monday, September 21, 2009
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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"Well this looks wrong"
Sunday, September 20, 2009
So.... I had my first kiss today... and it was not really great.

We were in the city, just waiting for the light to change, and he leaned over and kissed me on the lips. :3 Then we stood there and commented on how unspecial it seemed. XP

But anyway, I had my first kiss, and my second, and my third, and probably my one thousandth. Hehe.

I am ashamed to say that we were the "get a freakin' room" couple everywhere we went. D:

We were not, however, the "look like they're cannibals" couple. NO FACE EATING. Well at least I hope not. I told him I didn't want to kiss with an open mouth, and he pretty much respected that.

It was ridiculous though, guys. At first I wasn't kissing back, but after an hour or two I tried, and I guess that encouraged him, so the frequency of the kissing saw some exponential growth OH BY THE WAY did I mention we're actually in a relationship now?

This is kind of absolutely horrible, but I'm glad I can at least make him happy....

Oh yeah and I guess it's my birthday. Woo... I'm eighteen. :/

[Be glad I've spared you all the gory details of the past few hours...]

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