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Memores acti prudentes futuri


How you gonna wave hello or goodbye
when your hands are tied?
A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
―D.H. Lawrence

"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"

"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
―Seneca

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
―Daydream Nation

"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories — if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
―The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

“The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road.”
― Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita






TICoSME
Musicalities!
Kill that boredom!
Binder Paper Comics

Web Comics and Such
A Distant Soil (Some nudity)
The Adventures of Gyno-Star (Some explicit stuff)
Aquapunk
Axe Cop
Basic Instructions
Bear Nuts
Beeserker

Blue Milk Special
Bobbins
Broodhollow
Bug
Buttersafe
Camp Weedonwantcha
Chainsawsuit
ChannelATE
Cigarro & Cerveja
Conspiracy Friends!
Crunchy Bunches

Curia Regis
Cyanide and Happiness
dead winter (has some explicit stuff)
Devilbear: The Grimoires of Bearalzebub (PG-13?)
Diesel Sweeties
Distillum
DUBBLEBABY
Dumm Comics
Eat That Toast!
Ectopiary (Some nudity)
E-merl.com
The End
Evil Diva
Evil Inc.
Existential Comics
The Fancy Adventures of Jack Cannon
For Lack of a Better Comic
Forming (Explicit)

Girls with Slingshots (some explicit stuff...?)
Mirror
Hark! A Vagrant
Head Doctor Productions
Hollow Mountain
IDK Comics
Inscribing Ardi
The Intrepid Girlbot
JBabb Comics
The Last Halloween
Last Train to Old Town
L.A.W.L.S.
The League of Evil Genius

Legend of Bill
Living With Insanity (some nudity)
Love Me Nice
Married to the Sea
Meaty Yogurt
Medium Large
The Meek
Metacarpolis
Monsterhood
Monsterkind
The Moon Prince
Moon Town
Moth (Some nudity)
Mr. Lovenstein
Muddlers Beat

Natalie Dee
Nedroid
The Non-Adventures of Wonderella
Optipess
Out There
Phuzzy Comics
P.I. Jane
Political Cartoonists Index
Poorly Drawn Lines
Powernap
The Property of Hate
Red Meat
Rice Boy
Robbie and Bobby
Rosscott, Inc.
Safely Endangered
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Savage Chickens
Scenes from a Multiverse
The Secret Knots
Serenity Rose
Stand Still. Stay Silent
Stinking Hellebore
Strong Female Protagonist
Subnormality
The Super Fogeys
Tales of Pylea
Three Word Phrase (some nudity)
Tiny Kitten Teeth
Toothpaste for Dinner
Trying Human (Some nudity)
Two Guys and Guy
Mirror

Witchy
xkcd
Yellow Peril (PG-13)

Infrequently/No Longer Updating Web Comics
The Abominable Charles Christopher
The Adventures of Dr. McNinja
The Adventures of Ellie Connelly
American Hell
Bag of Toast
Bear in Mind
Bobwhite
The Book of Biff
Brat-halla
Brightest
Bullfinch
Chain Bear (Some explicit stuff)
Daisy is Dead
Dream Life
Edemia
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life
A Fine Example
Finn and Charlie are HITCHED
Floodmud
Freaks!

Green Wake
Gun Show
Hello with Cheese
Helpful Figures
Intragalactic
Kyle & Atticus
Lesbian Pirates from Outer Space
Letters to a Wild Boar
Lovecraft is Missing

Manta-man
Meat and Plastic
Minimalism Sucks
Mis-
Moe
The Nerds of Paradise
Nimona
No Reason Comics
Odd-Fish
One Swoop Fell
Owen's Uncles
Patches
Pictures for Sad Children
Raymondo Person
A Redtail's Dream

Riotfish
Roy's Boys (PG 13?)
Run Freak Run
Saint's Way
Shortpacked!
Sin Titulo
Snowflakes
Split Lip
Spooky Doofus
SubCulture
Super Buzzkill
The Super Gay Adventures of Ross Boston
Thermohalia
Troubletown
Ugly Girl
YU + ME
2815 Monument

Pure Flash Awesomeness
Aardvardkbutter.com
Angry Alien
Die Anstalt : Toy Psychiatry
The Frown
Hoogerbrugge

Other
Bogleech
Clients from Hell
Brian Despain
Creatures in My Head
Damn You Auto Correct!
Jhonen Vasquez's site
Overheard in New York
Passive Aggressive Notes
Submarinechannel.com
Superdickery
UHpinions
Whirled
Looky here
free counters
Finding songs
Thursday, October 9, 2014
A discussion about what dates and love are with my friend Matt led me to look up songs titled "This Is Love" because the song "What Is Love?" doesn't answer the question it poses. I found some not very good songs and also this one:

(The lyrics don't start until about halfway through)

And your legs are running
Running all over this town
And I will try to catch you
I will try to, try to slow you down
And it's impossible to think
What you'll say or how I'll act
When I come right out and tell you
This is love and that's a fact

This is love and that's a fact
This is love and that's a fact
This is love

It's unfortunate
That all your friends are junkies
I will not mock or judge them
'Cause once or twice I've been there too
I've learned to lose a lot from love
I've learned to try and try again
I've learned to be the one that helps
I've learned to not give up on friends

I've learned to not give up on friends
I've learned to not give up on friends
I've learned to not give up

I wanted you for so long
Thoughts of you, they fill my heart
We should take off all our clothes
I'm sure you're the one for me
I'll catch up to you one day
Or maybe you'll just slow down
And I will ask if I'm the one
If you could really ever be with me


I appreciated the sentiments in these lines a lot:
I've learned to lose a lot from love
I've learned to try and try again
I've learned to be the one that helps
I've learned to not give up on friends

Sometimes I'm tired of falling down and getting up again, but staying down isn't a better option.

Today I was thinking about the little daydreams I've had about the future. Most often they include a steady romantic partner doing normal everyday things with me. They also often involve one or both of us making mistakes. Things I've written about before on here... Things like forgetting the salt in a batch of baked goods. Getting lost in an unfamiliar place together. Maybe even using the wrong setting for the laundry and ending up with a ruined piece of clothing.

I had never really wondered why I daydream about those things, but after considering it for a bit, I think it might be because I hope for a relationship in which I feel comfortable messing up around the other person. A relationship in which there isn't pressure to be perfect or always on the mark. It would be nice to have someone to laugh off mistakes and misfortunes with. And we can reassure each other that whatever bad happens, things will be okay and work out in the end. Is that more or less what unconditional love is?

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More old music
Thursday, October 9, 2014


If you don't love me, oh if you don't love me

You can tell me anything,
You can tell me anything,
I'll believe you,
You know it too
Shame the truth with lies
Say the sun won't rise
Only realise

If you don't love me, oh if you don't love me
I will know, I will know, whoah whoah whoah
If you don't love me, oh if you don't love me
I will know
I will know

You can ask me anything,
You can ask me anything,
I will do it,
You know it too
Nothing I won't do
If you want me to
But it's also true

If you don't love me, oh if you don't love me
I will know, I will know, whoah whoah whoah
If you don't love me, oh if you don't love me

If you don't love me oh if you don't love me
I will know (I will know)
I will know, whoah whoah whoah
If you don't love me, oh if you don't love me
I will know (I will know)


---

Haven't listened to this song in awhile. I have an electronic remix kinda version of it without the lyrics, but I rather like the lyrics, so maybe I should get the original version. The theme in it is interesting to me... a lot of songs are about love, but not in this particular way. As best I can tell, he's saying that it doesn't matter whether or not the person he's singing to loves him, because he'll still believe everything they say and do anything they ask. And he's not deluding himself about how things are, he's being upfront about the fact that he'll know if he isn't loved. Yet that doesn't deter him from pledging himself to this person...

And I wonder, what is that? Why would you tell someone those things? Is he confessing a helplessness of sorts? A strange sort of trap he's fallen into? Or is this a declaration of love on his part in some twisted indirect way? I can't help but be curious about the train of thought behind this song. Though the words themselves are very simply strung together and the lyrics aren't the most poetic I've lately come across, there seem to be a lot of hidden implications here that make me think.

I guess it would be kind of nice to have someone to discuss the meanings of these things with.

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Part of the weekend [3P]
Tuesday, October 7, 2014
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

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Difficulties with perception [4P]
Thursday, October 2, 2014
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Recognition, realization, remembrance [4P, same as 8/8/14 and 9/6/14]
Sunday, September 28, 2014
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Oldish musics
Thursday, September 25, 2014
Enjoying some not-so-new songs. :)





I've been playing a lot of indie games these past few days... There are tons of free ones on Gamejolt and itch.io that you can download or play in a browser. I also got a couple Steam coupons and bought some new games... The Raven: Legacy of a Master Thief and Van Helsing II. I liked the first Van Helsing a lot so I'm looking forward to cracking that one open. Not sure when I'll find the time to do that though, between the other things I have going on now. School... volunteering... internship... Skype sessions (for work and play :P).

In less nice news, I got my prescription moisturizer today and the price was apparently $170 (It was $60 before)... :( If I don't shower too much and use it sparingly I can easily make it last several months, but still, it's expensive. :\ Hopefully I won't need more until I have insurance again.

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'Bout time...
Tuesday, September 23, 2014
Had my first day of my senior year of college today. Only two years late... >_>

It was pretty good overall though! I don't like our schedule as much this year, and our classroom got moved so we get basically no wifi access (which sucks), but our classes seem like they'll be interesting, and Sean came and hung out with us today at lunch and then stayed for our last class. After that, Fro, Vicky, Sean, and I went to get smoothies/bubble drinks. Hung out awhile more there, then got some snacks at food trucks. I didn't end up getting home until after six, and considering I left the house at like nine, it was a fairly long day.

I'm pretty tired now, but I need to write some stuff for my internship before tomorrow, so I guess I ought to get on that...

---Edit---

I feel so warm and nice right now! Not sure if the external temperature is just very comfortable or if it's the good feelings. And it's not like things are perfect at all, because I can certainly see things that aren't how they would be in my ideal world, but it doesn't matter, I guess. Flaws and incongruities are okay. They're just bits of static in the background of this warm fuzziness.

Thinking about novelty and problems and approaching like a human instead of withdrawing like an animal. Maybe you protect yourself if you withdraw, but you don't learn that way. And I'm more interested in learning than protecting myself. I don't know if that means I just haven't had enough reason to be afraid or if it means I'm brave enough to persist despite the risk. Maybe it's secure attachment. Maybe I was just born into advantageous circumstances. Who knows, really?

My body carries through my future selves but my mind is flexible and can change with each of them. I think my inner self heals more easily than my outer self. You can stitch yourself together after a trauma but it's hard to regrow a limb, or an eye, or a finger. Those external circumstances, those limiting factors, that facticity, are uncontrollable. There is much more control, many more possibilities and pathways, inside.

I ought to sleep. I'm sleepy and my mind is banging into thoughts haphazardly like a ball in a pinball machine.

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Winner winner chicken dinner [3P]
Sunday, September 21, 2014
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