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Memores acti prudentes futuri


You're unsure if I am a loose end or a strand
that waits for you to mend or understand
A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
~ D.H. Lawrence

"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"

"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
~ Seneca

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
~ Daydream Nation

"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

"The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road."
~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend."
~ William Blake
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Well, I'm at the quarter century mark now
Tuesday, September 20, 2016
I guess I don't really feel any different now, being 25. My birthday pretty much just felt like another day, it didn't stand out too much. Fro wished me a happy birthday on Facebook I guess, and my mom called me to say it too, but I didn't really celebrate. I miss my friends and wish I could have done something with them.

On the bright side, last night I think I made a friend from my new cohort? We talked a bit after our orientation, and she invited my boyfriend and I to go to a cupcake place with her and hang out a little. She's rather loquacious, but she's very nice, and I like her. When she asked how old I was, I said "Twenty... five... tomorrow," and she said it was a bit of a short notice to bake a cake (she likes to cook), but maybe she'd make something another time. I thought it was really sweet of her. She also said she'd like to throw some dinner parties at her apartment, which sounds like fun, and I'm looking forward to that.

For my birthday... well, we didn't do too much. Checked out a pizza place nearby (and got a slice of peach habanero pizza, which was actually pretty good) with my boyfriend, but mostly stayed in otherwise. We talked about some serious things in the morning, and I was... a bit agitated by some of them, but I felt better later on. I think I was dehydrated today though, because we went to the bookstore so I could get some stuff I need for class, and I felt really off-balance and kind of like I was going to faint while we were there. :S Also checked out the fitness center at school and got a salad to take back to my place...

I felt like it was important to get out of the apartment and walk around, but I wasn't really in much of a mood to do anything outside, so we ended up watching Tetsuo: The Iron Man inside. Probably should have shown him Tetsuo: The Bullet Man instead, as I feel it's a little more accessible, but oh well. We also tried watching Sausage Party briefly, but it was so awful that we stopped it maybe... twenty minutes in? We talked about more Serious Things after that, but somehow transitioned to joking around and laughing about stuff, which lightened the mood a lot. We were kind of mocking New Age pseudoscience-y stuff, and it was a pretty silly conversation. Boyfriend laughed really hard at "free range broccoli" and when I said something about "chlorophyll is just something scientists made up to make us feel separate from plants, but really, the same blood runs through all our veins." It was nice to laugh like that, especially after how I felt earlier in the day.

Oh, and I got a message from a former friend... so we'll see how that goes.
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