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Memores acti prudentes futuri


You're unsure if I am a loose end or a strand
that waits for you to mend or understand
A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
~ D.H. Lawrence

"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"

"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
~ Seneca

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
~ Daydream Nation

"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

"The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road."
~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend."
~ William Blake
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There is stuff in this post
Friday, September 9, 2011
Some of that stuff is pictures!

Here's the tater twister thing I got at the Boardwalk.

I am aware that this is a very late picture. Oh well. By the way, it wasn't that great, so I don't think I'd get it again...

For all your tasty salted pig parts needs, of course.


A chair at the jewelry store I went to with my mom yesterday in Monterey...



In case you were unaware, rock stars are capable of telling the future.

Or maybe it's just Elvis.

HOT SAUCE! I look forward to trying this...


I got a new dress... amazingly enough it's not black.


Kinda dark, but if you look closely you can see that it says "PEACE" on the back.


It looks less shapeless when you actually put it on, thankfully.


So, I went to Monterey yesterday with my mom and brother. We visited the aquarium, which was... uneventful, I guess. They've put in a puffin exhibit since we were last there though, which was nice. Also, they got a new sunfish (the old one died). The new sunfish is really creepy looking.

(Ripped that picture from the Monterey Bay Aquarium Tumblr, which I just now found out exists)

I mean, sunfish are kinda creepy looking anyway, I guess, but this one is REALLY creepy.

What else... hm... well, my mom and I did a little shopping and got some clothes from this Himalayan gift(?) store. That's where I got the dress... The dude minding the store kept telling us that everything was handmade, and that articles of clothing we were trying on looked like a good fit for us, etc. He also told me that the mole under my eye was a sign of good luck and that I had a lucky future.

...Riiiiiiiiiiight.

When we were buying our stuff, he let me pick out a bead ring (price: $1) for free. While I was poking through the pile, he explained something about how in Nepal, temples are made of gold(?) and women wear bead rings to them. He also told me that if I wore the ring and wished on it, the wish would come true.

He seemed kind of full of crap, but I guess I can't fault him for trying to play it up for tourists.

Also, I don't think I mentioned it here, but I contacted some psych lab at Stanford to inquire about participating in a study, and they've called me twice since then. Well, thrice I guess, but it was two phone appointments and then a followup after the second appointment today.

They think I'd be better suited for a lower paying (but less time consuming) study instead of the one I wanted to be in... I mean, that's alright I guess. I'm kind of bummed, because it's a $450 one month+ study vs. a $50 one time scan (I think?), and the higher paying one involves playing a computer game for a month, but it's free, so there's not really anything I can reasonably complain about...

I wonder what kind of people they wanted for the other study, the one they didn't think I was right for... Kind of also wonder if I could've gotten into the other one if I'd responded differently. Meh...

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Max foofin' [2P]
Monday, September 5, 2011
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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I guess this thing is a love song
Saturday, September 3, 2011
But it's not very in-your-face about it, which is nice.



I've been looking around for a new player to put on my site. I don't fancy the Playlist.com ones very much, as they can be kind of obtrusive at times.

I panic-cleaned my room today. There was a bit of a mob of tiny spiders around my desk area, so I vacuumed with fervor and then decided to tidy up my room in general. What's freaking me out is that I don't know where the tiny spiders keep coming from. It MUST be around my desk area, but I keep cleaning and it's not working, so I don't know... Perhaps behind my desk, where I can't reach? (Not a pleasant thought, I'll tell you that)

Luckily I'm not quite as afraid when they're minuscule in size, so I can just as easily squish them with a tissue as vacuum them up, but it's discomfiting to know that there may very well be a nest of spiders in my room... and that I might be sitting less than two feet from it now, completely unaware. D:

I think ten or fifteen hatched just today, which was pretty horrible. I've been seeing a few here and there in the past few months, but it was never enough to send me into a panic-cleaning like today.

Oh well... despite the mild stress, I guess I did need to straighten up in here... so something good came out of it...

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It's still August here but I'm too lazy to change the date
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Dang Nutang time zone, always wrong if you don't live on the East Coast.

I have pictures to share. They're... pretty old. X|

Some tomato/cheese/basil/toast things my mom made.


"Sweeter than love"

Why spend quality time with someone if you can just GIVE THEM BLUEBERRIES!?

Mm, tea. Yogi tea, if I remember correctly. Sounds like a "Confucius say" type thing.


I made vegan chocolate cupcakes a while back.


My initial attempt at frosting them didn't go that well.


The frosting I made wasn't chocolate, but carob, and the instructions were to cook it and then let it cool. At first I followed the instructions, but then I realized...

...I could probably get away with not letting it cool completely.

I ended up pouring the frosting on like a glaze, and it came out all shiny and pretty.


The little red icing hearts were a pain to do, though. The cupcakes and frosting were a breeze, but I agonized over those little hearts.


(I hid the ones with ugly hearts in the back)


Today I vacuumed my room, but my cellphone charger was on the floor and the cord got sucked into the vacuum. Our vacuum looks more or less like this:

And my cellphone charger cord got wound around inside the head of the attachment. I tried to pull it out to no avail, so I had to disassemble the attachment and untangle it.

Anyway, the cord got kind of scraped up/mangled, so I'm a little afraid to use it.

Also, our freezer stopped working for a couple days. It was just long enough for everything inside to melt, and then today it randomly started working again. We have no idea what the problem is. Unfortunately I found out that my mom had been storing some frozen blood worms (I don't even know why, and she thinks it was for some long-dead pet of ours) right above the ice chute, so when I tried to get ice today... blood worm juice came out with it. :( I was not exactly pleased. Actually though, I was just rather concerned, but that concern quickly turned to horror when she told me what the brown stuff in my cup was. X|

Luckily I hadn't put any liquids into the cup, so nothing got wasted but the ice...

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Among other things
Monday, August 29, 2011
I had a dream last night, and it fit me like a glove...


Oh wait, no, that's not right. Although I did have a dream last night.

It involved standing in a classroom next to the teacher's desk, where Rikki Simons, the voice of GIR, was sitting. The classroom was garishly lit with those long fluorescent bulbs, and all the desks were occupied by GIR fangirls. Everytime Rikki Simons said something, they all squealed, mimicked what he said in GIR voices, and giggled amongst themselves. They weren't just average, run-of-the-mill looking girls, either. They all had various similar sorts of cutesy-quirky outfits on, with some wearing fuzzy animal hats and some with dyed strips of hair and poofy ponytails jutting out of their heads. More or less anime fangirl types, I guess, but all specifically GIR/Invader ZIM ones.

I walked out of the classroom to go fishing on the lawn, and laughed to myself, thinking that he had the worst job in the world.

Besides the dream, I got summoned for jury duty. Yay...? My brother keeps telling me that if I have to be a juror for a murder case, to vote guilty no matter what. X| "You'll probably be there for a few days. I'VE SEEN LAW AND ORDER," he says. I can't wait for him to leave for college... should be pretty soon...

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Up to
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Oh hey

What's up?

Nothing much, just listening to some music and doing everything ever completely wrong.

:|

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Serious man
Friday, August 26, 2011
I went to the Boardwalk with Alice today, which was fun.

By the time we got to Fireball (which looks like THIS in case you don't know), it was dark. We sat next to each other in one of the seat blocks, and across from us, this guy in sunglasses, dressed in a black dress shirt and black or dark blue khakis, walked over and sat down. Alice got all excited because she thought he was going to wear his sunglasses on the ride, but he took them off and they vanished into his shirt pocket, which apparently didn't look big enough to hold them.

Anyway, while we were waiting for the ride to start, everyone was laughing and talking to their friends and swinging their legs. Not this guy. He sat upright with rigidly straight legs and looked extremely serious. Kind of like how you'd imagine Agent Smith from the Matrix to wait for a ride to start.

Once we got going, he did crack a slight smile, but he never laughed or even smiled wide enough to show his teeth during the ride. The rest of us screamed and laughed and generally had a good time.

When the ride stopped, his smile vanished immediately. He actually looked pretty angry for a few seconds, before putting his head down in a very disappointed sort of way.

The restraints were lifted, and everyone began to get off. He dismounted, retrieved his sunglasses, put them back on, and walked to the exit.

I have NEVER seen someone look that way on an amusement park ride. It was bizarre and hilarious, to say the least. Probably one of those things where you had to be there, but this guy looked SO INCREDIBLY SERIOUS, like you DON'T EVEN KNOW. Really, try to imagine Agent Smith riding, except with black hair, and you've basically got the idea.

When we discussed it later on the ride home, because of course the situation demanded it, Alice informed me that the guy was there alone. I had assumed he was with the people he sat next to, but apparently it was just him. Somehow that makes it even more strange.

Seriously though, this guy. Man, I just can't get over it. (He was uh -cough- a bit cute as well, but mostly the whole scene was just so hilariously weird)

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Forgot to say yesterday
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
I passed the permit test. Also, the woman behind the counter made me take the picture thrice because apparently my hair was in my eyes... and the final picture came out horribly. X| I guess that's to be expected though, it being the DMV and all.

Last night I was feeling sleepy around six-ish, so I lay down on my bed and ended up sleeping on and off for... eighteen hours. Whoops. I had some fancy dreams though. Unfortunately I'm currently having trouble recalling some of them...

Here's what I remember:

Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck and some... other people were on this flying mesh of playground in the clouds. One of the other people (a girl I think?) was being fussy and I think we were talking about what to call her. I said "Bugs" jokingly and she seemed to like that, and then someone else said it but in a different way (like "Bug-ezz") and she got angry. I had to run with her away to some other playgrounds, only this time they were islands in a huge ocean.

After running through several islands, we hit a huge one where the houses were bulging out onto the water almost. It was a ship and a city and an enormous tree all at once. We went inside the ship, and after walking around for a little bit, they threw us into this room that had a big thing in the middle of it, sort of like an open landscape display. There was a monster creature on it, and I remembered them saying that nothing could defeat it, and I realized that it was supposed to kill us.

We found a hatch in the floor and escaped through it, and I knew we needed to find the fruit of life in order to kill the monster. We climbed up to the very top of the city/ship/tree and saw a sea of treetops, mostly level but with a few massive trees breaking the canopy. The tops were sturdy enough to run on, so we went around looking for the fruit of life. It had to be on one of the trees that was above the rest.

The first tree I looked at had apples, but I knew they couldn't be the fruit of life because they were small and dirty and some looked half rotten. We also passed lemons, but they seemed to have the same problem. Unfortunately, before we could continue the search, the citizens of the city/ship/tree island were alerted to our presence, and we had to try to leave again. We climbed down into a white side room that seemed to be empty, and I opened doors, trying to find one that led out. I opened a blue door, and there was another blue door right behind it, so I opened that one as well and found a bunch of women doing laundry in a big vat.

I quickly shut the doors and we opened the door directly in front of us and ran out, although maybe it was just me by this point. (Sometimes my dreams are in the third person and I watch myself, so I don't always know if I'm alone in them)

It was sunny outside, though it seemed like more of a sunset type light because of how orange it was getting. We (I?) scrambled along the roots at the edge of the city/island, trying to get away, and then I woke up...

I wish I could remember the other dreams.

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