A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"
"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories — if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
―The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes
“The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road.”
― Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita
Think about it
Kill that boredom!
Binder Paper Comics
Web Comics and Such
A Distant Soil (Some nudity)
The Adventures of Gyno-Star (Some explicit stuff)
Blue Milk Special
Cigarro & Cerveja
Cyanide and Happiness
dead winter (has some explicit stuff)
Devilbear: The Grimoires of Bearalzebub (PG-13?)
Eat That Toast!
Ectopiary (Some nudity)
The Fancy Adventures of Jack Cannon
For Lack of a Better Comic
Girls with Slingshots (some explicit stuff...?)
Hark! A Vagrant
Head Doctor Productions
The Intrepid Girlbot
The Last Halloween
Last Train to Old Town
The League of Evil Genius
Legend of Bill
Living With Insanity (some nudity)
Love Me Nice
Married to the Sea
The Moon Prince
Moth (Some nudity)
The Non-Adventures of Wonderella
Political Cartoonists Index
Poorly Drawn Lines
Robbie and Bobby
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Scenes from a Multiverse
The Secret Knots
Stand Still. Stay Silent
Strong Female Protagonist
The Super Fogeys
Tales of Pylea
Three Word Phrase (some nudity)
Tiny Kitten Teeth
Toothpaste for Dinner
Trying Human (Some nudity)
Two Guys and Guy
Yellow Peril (PG-13)
Infrequently/No Longer Updating Web Comics
The Abominable Charles Christopher
The Adventures of Dr. McNinja
The Adventures of Ellie Connelly
Bag of Toast
Bear in Mind
The Book of Biff
Chain Bear (Some explicit stuff)
Daisy is Dead
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life
A Fine Example
Finn and Charlie are HITCHED
Hello with Cheese
Kyle & Atticus
Lesbian Pirates from Outer Space
Letters to a Wild Boar
Lovecraft is Missing
Meat and Plastic
The Nerds of Paradise
No Reason Comics
One Swoop Fell
Pictures for Sad Children
A Redtail's Dream
Roy's Boys (PG 13?)
Run Freak Run
The Super Gay Adventures of Ross Boston
YU + ME
Pure Flash Awesomeness
Die Anstalt : Toy Psychiatry
Clients from Hell
Creatures in My Head
Damn You Auto Correct!
Jhonen Vasquez's site
Overheard in New York
Passive Aggressive Notes
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Can you tell from the title? SHTORAY!!! (story for those who can't understand)
Poppledroplik, or the story of the sort of magical nail clippers
Everybody knows what nail clippers are. They're those things that people use to trim nails. Unfortunately, these useful little tools are not used by all. When you look at someone's hideous mutated-looking foot with chipped yellow nails it's pretty obvious that they don't use nail clippers. Either that or they like having feet scary enough to frighten small children.
Poppledroplik was a barber. He wasn't a hair barber though. He was a fear barber. A fear barber, like a hair barber, cuts things. In this case, he cut people's fears away.
Because this was very useful to the community, he made a lot of money. When one gets a lot of money one tends to become greedy and/or selfish. Well, Poppledroplik got grelfish. Yes, grelfish. "What is grelfish?" you ask? Well, think. Greedy + selfish = GRELFISH!
Poppledroplik, though already quite wealthy and prosperous, wanted even MORE money. But how would he achieve this? He decided to visit a wizard for help. The wizard's name was Bogo (no relation to Bogo the seven foot tall green feathered hamster of Pie Dish). Bogo the wizard's real name was actually Farfignuggetpassfogasipica but since having a ten syllable name is rather troublesome he went by Bogo instead. This wizard with the incredibly long name was well known around the town as a very powerful person. But not because he knew magic....
Farfignuggetpassfogasipica(aka Bogo) was a great lover of beans. Beans and broccoli. His continuous consumption of these foods was the source of his magical powers. You see, in his early days at wizard school, Bogo had failed just about every class possible. "You are a bad wizard!" they told him; "You stink! Literally!". Even though all this was true it still made him feel bad. Then one day it happened... after 400 large servings of the special of the day (beans and broccoli) Bogo found his magical talent. With a loud noise (and bad smell) that attracted the attention of everyone in the cafeteria, Bogo transformed into a farzard. And don't ask me what that is, if you can't tell by deduction you don't need to know.
Anyway, Poppledroplik went to Bogo for help because he wanted to get more money. Bogo told him that what he needed were the magical nail clippers of the great Draonillighwooo. Poppledroplik knew this was a lie so he smacked Bogo and told him to tell the truth. Bogo whined that he couldn't take a joke but told him the truth anyway. "What you REALLY need is are the SORT OF magical nail clippers of DRIPPYNOSICUSDUMYHEDICUS" he told him. Poppledroplik then asked how to get these sort of magical nail clippers.
"Well I'd say just ask if you can borrow them" Bogo said. "But be warned... if she's cutting her nails when you come in then the nail clippings will shoot at you like boomerangs and kill you." Poppledroplik thought this sounded dangerous so he paid a broke teenager to do it instead. The teenager came back with the nail clippers several days later. "'kay can I have my money now" he said. Well actually what he said sounded more like "'K kye hve m mney n" but it's more legible the other way.
Poppledroplik rejoiced and had a big party to celebrate. During this party he used the nail clippers to show everyone his great success.... and his nails flew around the room like boomerangs and killed everyone. Including him. But the dog survived and ate all of the food. Then it blew up. And then... the town blew up. And monkeys took over the world. And they ate bananas.
The moral of the story is: You can pay teenagers to do your stuff for you.
A guy's life dream?
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
15! [insert happiness here]
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
It's my ACTUAL birthday today. So I'm 15 now.
Nothing interesting actually happened today so I'll make up something instead.
Today started with 2nd period. My teacher, aka Mr. Torp, decided to make us bungee jump off the roof in honor of... having class. Then after that was done he made us dance to old music. I didn't dance so he gave me an F. Then he took off his mask and it turned out he was actually Frankenstein's monster. So everybody ran away screaming and we got to go to Brunch early.
In fourth period I had french 2 and we had to talk about french artists. This was too boring so we had a party instead. We went to San Francisco by teleporting and met aliens. Then we went to the aliens' planet and had rootbeer floats until it was time for lunch.
At lunch my friend Nikkita gave me a cake and when I cut it everyone sang happy birthday to me. Then the cake sprouted wings and we had to catch it before we could eat it. After that I catapulted pieces of it at freshies with a spoon and when the cake hit them they turned into gremlins. But they were only regular gremlins so they couldn't do magic.
In sixth period I had P.E. and we had to run a circuit. Nobody wanted to do that so we tied up the teachers and went to Safeway instead. We bought food and came back and had a pogo stick competition with pogo sticks that the pogo stick gremlins had made magically appear. Because of that they were magical pogo sticks and could talk. They told us jokes and gave us ice cream. Then we all got really fat. So then we untied the P.E. teachers and they made us run and we got skinny again. And then school was over. And since I didn't feel like walking I ran really fast and took off like an airplane and flew home instead.
And that was my (not real) day.
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Random flash movie thing
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
I found this flash movie... It's really funny 'cause you listen to the music and it sounds all cheerful but then you read the subtitles and it doesn't match at all... but yeah. Watch it.
You Only Live Twice
Hahaha here's another one.
Groovin' Granny (do your boobs hang low)
Garlicky apples and Kasabian
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
I like getting home early from school. Especially because my brother isn't at home to bother me.
I'm not sure why but the apple I just ate tasted like garlic. Although I've had this experience before it was still rather disgusting. I hate garlicky apples.
I have a new almost favorite song. It's called Empire and it's by Kasabian. I'm thinking about putting it on my Stickam player if I can find it.
Does anyone want me to write another story later?
Monday, September 18, 2006
I'm going to write another story because I don't really want to do my homework.
There are many pencils in the world, but only one is named Cupkiddle. This is Cupkiddle's story.
Bob and Afromalaphisaphinapalopana Cilpen had many children. They had SO many children, in fact, that they ran out of existant names and had to make up new ones. Their 35098th child was named Cupkiddle. Cupkiddle was neither boy nor girl. Cupkiddle was a borl. This is what happens when you have too many children. Some of them turn out funny.
Cupkiddle and his family lived in the suburbs of a fine city called Spekarapopocornopolis. It went to an ordinary pencil highschool with many other pencils, and even some pens. It had very few friends, because when you're a borl, people tend to avoid you. As a result Cupkiddle developed some schizophrenia over the years.
Two days into Cupkiddle's sophomore year it was confronted by a big problem. Which locker room was hse supposed to go to? They didn't have one for borls. Cupkiddle was very perplexed and decided to try both locker rooms, hoping that somewhere it would be accepted. Well, that was a bad idea. The bright neon pink of the girl's locker room had a cheerful look to it, but when Cupkiddle came out of it, it made a decision to never go in there again. The girls had large rubber spatulas that they used to smack Cupkiddle with, and because of its nosebleed Cupkiddle ended up having to steal some tampons to plug its nose with.
When Cupkiddle tried the boy's locker room, the results were also disappointing. Not only did the boys throw monkeys at it, they also flushed its lunch down the toilet. This made Cupkiddle very sad. All it had wanted was to belong, and it seemed like that would never happen.
After Cupkiddle had gotten home it went to its room to cry. Afromalaphisophinapalopana tried to comfort it, telling it things would get better and that it shouldn't despair. Cupkiddle cried anyway. This was very miraculous because, well, have YOU ever seen a pencil cry? Anyway, Cupkiddle's tears washed away its cheap yellow paint and under that.... was the most ugly boy pencil the world had ever seen. But being an ugly boy pencil was still better than being a borl pencil, so he was happy.
Cupkiddle ran out to the school laughing and cheering for joy.... then he got snatched up by the great hand in the sky and was used on a geometry test in someone's third period.
The moral of the story is: If something amazing happens to you, you have a right to be happy, but don't go crazy because you might end up in a pencil sharpener.
The Little Emu with a Mullet
Monday, September 18, 2006
Well I'm bored again so I've decided to bless you all and make up another fanciful tale. And this one is going to have pictures.
The Little Emu with a Mullet
There once lived a little emu in Canada. This little emu had a mullet she was very proud of. Her mullet's name was Samantha.
Phoebe, as the little emu was called, loved Samantha and they often went out together to have fun. They went to parks, the bathroom, and even Australia. Samantha and Phoebe were best friends.
One day while at the local pickle bar Samantha saw the handsomest squirrel she had ever seen. She immediately fell in love with him. So she and Phoebe went over to talk to him and they had a very good time talking about trees and other squirrely matters. The squirrel's name was Computer and he was from the land of Cake Dish, the neighboring country of Pie Dish. Phoebe didn't tell her best friend, but she had also fallen in love with Computer.
The next morning Samantha and Phoebe went down Route 66 in their spaceship and saw Computer on the road. He had gotten run over by a Hummer with rednecks in it.
They were very sad and ate ice cream and pie until they weighed 100,000lbs. Then they blew up.
The moral of the story is: Hummers are bad because they make people blow up.
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