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Memores acti prudentes futuri


Can't you see what you've done to my heart and soul?
this is a wasteland now
A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
―D.H. Lawrence

"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"

"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
―Seneca

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
―Daydream Nation

"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories — if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
―The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

“The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road.”
― Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita






TICoSME
Musicalities!
Kill that boredom!
Binder Paper Comics

Web Comics and Such
A Distant Soil (Some nudity)
The Adventures of Gyno-Star (Some explicit stuff)
Aquapunk
Axe Cop
Basic Instructions
Bear Nuts
Beeserker

Blue Milk Special
Bobbins
Broodhollow
Bug
Buttersafe
Camp Weedonwantcha
Chainsawsuit
ChannelATE
Cigarro & Cerveja
Conspiracy Friends!
Crunchy Bunches

Curia Regis
Cyanide and Happiness
dead winter (has some explicit stuff)
Devilbear: The Grimoires of Bearalzebub (PG-13?)
Diesel Sweeties
Distillum
DUBBLEBABY
Dumm Comics
Eat That Toast!
Ectopiary (Some nudity)
E-merl.com
The End
Evil Diva
Evil Inc.
Existential Comics
The Fancy Adventures of Jack Cannon
For Lack of a Better Comic
Forming (Explicit)

Girls with Slingshots (some explicit stuff...?)
Mirror
Hark! A Vagrant
Head Doctor Productions
Hollow Mountain
IDK Comics
Inscribing Ardi
The Intrepid Girlbot
JBabb Comics
The Last Halloween
Last Train to Old Town
L.A.W.L.S.
The League of Evil Genius

Legend of Bill
Living With Insanity (some nudity)
Love Me Nice
Married to the Sea
Meaty Yogurt
Medium Large
The Meek
Metacarpolis
Monsterhood
Monsterkind
The Moon Prince
Moon Town
Moth (Some nudity)
Mr. Lovenstein
Muddlers Beat

Natalie Dee
Nedroid
The Non-Adventures of Wonderella
Optipess
Out There
Phuzzy Comics
P.I. Jane
Political Cartoonists Index
Poorly Drawn Lines
Powernap
Red Meat
Rice Boy
Robbie and Bobby
Rosscott, Inc.
Safely Endangered
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Savage Chickens
Scenes from a Multiverse
The Secret Knots
Serenity Rose
Stand Still. Stay Silent
Stinking Hellebore
Strong Female Protagonist
Subnormality
The Super Fogeys
Tales of Pylea
Three Word Phrase (some nudity)
Tiny Kitten Teeth
Toothpaste for Dinner
Trying Human (Some nudity)
Two Guys and Guy
Mirror

Witchy
xkcd
Yellow Peril (PG-13)

Infrequently/No Longer Updating Web Comics
The Abominable Charles Christopher
The Adventures of Dr. McNinja
The Adventures of Ellie Connelly
American Hell
Bag of Toast
Bear in Mind
Bobwhite
The Book of Biff
Brat-halla
Brightest
Bullfinch
Chain Bear (Some explicit stuff)
Daisy is Dead
Dream Life
Edemia
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life
A Fine Example
Finn and Charlie are HITCHED
Floodmud
Freaks!

Green Wake
Gun Show
Hello with Cheese
Helpful Figures
Intragalactic
Kyle & Atticus
Lesbian Pirates from Outer Space
Letters to a Wild Boar
Lovecraft is Missing

Manta-man
Meat and Plastic
Minimalism Sucks
Mis-
Moe
The Nerds of Paradise
Nimona
No Reason Comics
Odd-Fish
One Swoop Fell
Owen's Uncles
Patches
Pictures for Sad Children
Raymondo Person
A Redtail's Dream

Riotfish
Roy's Boys (PG 13?)
Run Freak Run
Saint's Way
Shortpacked!
Sin Titulo
Snowflakes
Split Lip
Spooky Doofus
SubCulture
Super Buzzkill
The Super Gay Adventures of Ross Boston
Thermohalia
Troubletown
Ugly Girl
YU + ME
2815 Monument

Pure Flash Awesomeness
Aardvardkbutter.com
Angry Alien
Die Anstalt : Toy Psychiatry
The Frown
Hoogerbrugge

Other
Bogleech
Clients from Hell
Brian Despain
Creatures in My Head
Damn You Auto Correct!
Jhonen Vasquez's site
Overheard in New York
Passive Aggressive Notes
Submarinechannel.com
Superdickery
UHpinions
Whirled
Looky here
free counters
Relief
Friday, November 9, 2012
I took a placement test for math today. In all the years I've been at the community college I'm at right now, I never did, because of my aversion to math. (Bad idea, by the way)

So, this past week I've been trying to study for the test. I needed to get a high enough score to place into Statistics, since that's what I need to transfer.

The test was at 9 AM today. It was computerized and multiple choice, so technically I had about a 25% chance of getting each one right.

Unfortunately, I didn't know how to do about 80% of the problems contained in it. At several points I just ended up sitting there and staring blankly, trying not to let panic overwhelm me.

...I drew a walrus saying "it's okay" on my scratch paper. Not sure it helped.

There was a LOT of geometry stuff that I just did not remember. Or well, it felt that way. There were only twenty questions on the test.

By the end I had just about given up on transferring to a four year anytime soon. When the proctor came over to pull up my score, I whispered that I didn't think I did very well and laughed nervously.

But it turned out I got just high enough to get into Stats.

Remember how I wrote an entry awhile ago about feeling lucky?

Yeah.

Still, even though I did well enough, I was so tense afterwards that I could barely breathe. I walked the ~3 miles home, which might have helped a bit.

Yeesh, though.

---Edit---

Boyfriend trimmed his beard!

Isn't he cute? :3

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The not-shady thing I'm doing for money
Friday, November 2, 2012
So I mentioned a few entries back that I watched babies at my parents' church, I think. Well, I've been doing that for a few weeks now. I'm kind of just a sub, so I don't have a static room. Last week I was with two year olds, and the two weeks before that I had one year olds.

Today I had babies again. I hugged babies for money!

I just realized that the first sentence in that line makes it sound like I gave birth, but whatever, you know what I mean.

Getting to hug babies for money is kind of awesome. It's not high paying, but I don't really mind. I make little enough that I don't have to bother with taxes. Woooo. My first paycheck came last week and yeah, that was kind of cool.

I'm also volunteering at school at the child development center with I think three to five year olds, so I'm getting double the experience, I guess. Still kinda awkward, but I'm figuring it out, slowly. Some of them will hold my hand now and actually talk to me, so that's good. >_> (It was my first week this past week, and I see each group of kids at school an hour a day Monday through Thursday)

I like babies. They got my clothes really dirty, though.

---Edit---

This song feels relevant to my life.


Bumps in the road remind us
The worst of the best behind us
Only good things will find us
Me and you

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I feel lucky
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Nothing super outstanding happened to me today, I just feel like I'm a lucky person in the grand scheme of things.

So many things could be going so much more wrong in my life, but they're not!

For instance, I am absolutely horrible at parking (still working on getting that license...) but I haven't hit any cars yet!

I took the bus today and accidentally left my bag at the bus stop, but someone noticed and asked if someone had left a bag there before the bus really went anywhere. I certainly felt lucky then.

Also, although I do still love New York and want to go back, I guess it's pretty good that I'm not there right now. Reading some of the reports on what's going on with Sandy, I'm much better off in California at the moment.

---

I went trick or treating with friends (eight of us in total) last night, which was fun. We barely got any candy though, and didn't trick or treat for very long. I dressed up as Manny Calavera from Grim Fandango and a girl high fived me on the street. After getting candy we went to In-N-Out and... had... food. Well, I had a milkshake. I kind of regretted drinking the whole thing though, because I felt sick afterwards.

It was me, my boyfriend, Jasper, new-ish friend Jackson (Angie introduced him to the group), Gwenny, and three of her friends. We drove back to Gwenny's house after the food (took two cars-- in the one I was in, Jackson and Gwenny's friend Anna sang Disney songs together for the whole ride) and played Reverse Charades, which was pretty awesome. Basically you have teams, and one person guesses while the other three act out the phrase on the card. Some of them were ridiculously hard (4th of July? Really?), but overall it was a lot of fun. We also played this game called Moving Statues where one person walks around and everybody else has to try to move into different positions when they're not looking, and this other one called Ultimate Fucking Ninja that... confused me. The way it was explained was that the goal is to try to karate chop someone next to you (everyone stands in a circle) in one swift move, and you take turns going around the circle. I didn't really enjoy that one much.

Anyway, it was a really good night, I thought.

Oh yeah, and my boyfriend apparently thinks I'm extroverted. o_o

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So I'm guessing Xanga's servers are down
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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I'll be heavier after Halloween
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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Oh wow
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
I just looked at OKC, and I got this long (looooooooooooooong) message from a guy who used to message me, telling me that I influenced him a ton even though I was like, "detached" and had a "lack of openness."

It's interesting to see all these weird positive perceptions he seems to have of me.

He also mentioned that he still listens to a song I linked him to.

Seriously guys, this dude wrote me an essay of a message.

I'm not even kidding, it's like 800 words.

THIS DOESN'T EVEN FEEL LIKE REAL LIFE.

...It's taking me a really long time to get readjusted to life without depersonalization. >.>

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Had to share this
Tuesday, October 23, 2012


Was watching this guy's videos on Youtube... couldn't tell if he was a troll for awhile, but I don't really have any doubts now.

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It's been a year!
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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