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Memores acti prudentes futuri


Can't you see what you've done to my heart and soul?
this is a wasteland now
A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
―D.H. Lawrence

"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"

"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
―Seneca

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
―Daydream Nation

"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories — if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
―The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

“The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road.”
― Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita






TICoSME
Musicalities!
Kill that boredom!
Binder Paper Comics

Web Comics and Such
A Distant Soil (Some nudity)
The Adventures of Gyno-Star (Some explicit stuff)
Aquapunk
Axe Cop
Basic Instructions
Bear Nuts
Beeserker

Blue Milk Special
Bobbins
Broodhollow
Bug
Buttersafe
Camp Weedonwantcha
Chainsawsuit
ChannelATE
Cigarro & Cerveja
Conspiracy Friends!
Crunchy Bunches

Curia Regis
Cyanide and Happiness
dead winter (has some explicit stuff)
Devilbear: The Grimoires of Bearalzebub (PG-13?)
Diesel Sweeties
Distillum
DUBBLEBABY
Dumm Comics
Eat That Toast!
Ectopiary (Some nudity)
E-merl.com
The End
Evil Diva
Evil Inc.
Existential Comics
The Fancy Adventures of Jack Cannon
For Lack of a Better Comic
Forming (Explicit)

Girls with Slingshots (some explicit stuff...?)
Mirror
Hark! A Vagrant
Head Doctor Productions
Hollow Mountain
IDK Comics
Inscribing Ardi
The Intrepid Girlbot
JBabb Comics
The Last Halloween
Last Train to Old Town
L.A.W.L.S.
The League of Evil Genius

Legend of Bill
Living With Insanity (some nudity)
Love Me Nice
Married to the Sea
Meaty Yogurt
Medium Large
The Meek
Metacarpolis
Monsterhood
Monsterkind
The Moon Prince
Moon Town
Moth (Some nudity)
Mr. Lovenstein
Muddlers Beat

Natalie Dee
Nedroid
The Non-Adventures of Wonderella
Optipess
Out There
Phuzzy Comics
P.I. Jane
Political Cartoonists Index
Poorly Drawn Lines
Powernap
Red Meat
Rice Boy
Robbie and Bobby
Rosscott, Inc.
Safely Endangered
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Savage Chickens
Scenes from a Multiverse
The Secret Knots
Serenity Rose
Stand Still. Stay Silent
Stinking Hellebore
Strong Female Protagonist
Subnormality
The Super Fogeys
Tales of Pylea
Three Word Phrase (some nudity)
Tiny Kitten Teeth
Toothpaste for Dinner
Trying Human (Some nudity)
Two Guys and Guy
Mirror

Witchy
xkcd
Yellow Peril (PG-13)

Infrequently/No Longer Updating Web Comics
The Abominable Charles Christopher
The Adventures of Dr. McNinja
The Adventures of Ellie Connelly
American Hell
Bag of Toast
Bear in Mind
Bobwhite
The Book of Biff
Brat-halla
Brightest
Bullfinch
Chain Bear (Some explicit stuff)
Daisy is Dead
Dream Life
Edemia
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life
A Fine Example
Finn and Charlie are HITCHED
Floodmud
Freaks!

Green Wake
Gun Show
Hello with Cheese
Helpful Figures
Intragalactic
Kyle & Atticus
Lesbian Pirates from Outer Space
Letters to a Wild Boar
Lovecraft is Missing

Manta-man
Meat and Plastic
Minimalism Sucks
Mis-
Moe
The Nerds of Paradise
Nimona
No Reason Comics
Odd-Fish
One Swoop Fell
Owen's Uncles
Patches
Pictures for Sad Children
Raymondo Person
A Redtail's Dream

Riotfish
Roy's Boys (PG 13?)
Run Freak Run
Saint's Way
Shortpacked!
Sin Titulo
Snowflakes
Split Lip
Spooky Doofus
SubCulture
Super Buzzkill
The Super Gay Adventures of Ross Boston
Thermohalia
Troubletown
Ugly Girl
YU + ME
2815 Monument

Pure Flash Awesomeness
Aardvardkbutter.com
Angry Alien
Die Anstalt : Toy Psychiatry
The Frown
Hoogerbrugge

Other
Bogleech
Clients from Hell
Brian Despain
Creatures in My Head
Damn You Auto Correct!
Jhonen Vasquez's site
Overheard in New York
Passive Aggressive Notes
Submarinechannel.com
Superdickery
UHpinions
Whirled
Looky here
free counters
My Happiness Day
Sunday, December 7, 2014




Next to the 30s, the 60s might be one of my favorite decades for music...

This is one of my happiness days
So very fleeting are these moments
And so, what my heart says, I will obey
This is one of my happiness days

I know that my feelings tomorrow won't be like today
But that comes tomorrow, and that's when I'll borrow today
Whenever my moments are sad, I will remember
My happiness day, my happiness day


Very relevant sentiments...

---

I'm starting to feel like maybe I don't like being someone who's just convenient to talk to. It's kind of annoying when I'm having a conversation with someone and then they just stop responding for hours and when they do say something (if ever), it's only because I've prompted them, or it's just about whatever they're doing, with no acknowledgement of the time gap. I guess it's like, why are you even talking to me if you don't care what I say? And it's not like I don't forget to respond myself... but I do try to apologize for it and give a reason usually... Unless the person has fallen asleep. So mostly it's annoying if the person intentionally leaves without saying something, I suppose. It's fine if people are busy or something but I really wish they'd just say that or say they're leaving or apologize for an hours-long delay in response instead of just ditching/ignoring me. Ugh. Sometimes I feel like I get taken for granted in that respect. I think the people who keep doing this to me really just don't realize they're doing it, but it's thoughtless. I know it's probably not that they really just don't think I'm worth the time to type out "hey, sorry, I was ___" or "I'm going to ___, be back later," but it still irritates me a bit regardless.

When this kind of things happens I don't feel motivated to put effort into talking. It's probably petty... being like "if you're not going to try then why should I?" -Sigh- I'm just tired of feeling like I don't matter on a day-to-day level to some people.

There are a few people who do this when I'm talking to them and I'm wondering if I should bring it up directly or just try to think through it and be more okay with it...

---

"We all know people in whose company we would prefer not to go shopping, not to visit a museum, not to look at a landscape, because we would like to keep these things undamaged. Just as we all know people in whose company it is pleasant to take a walk because the objects encountered come to no harm.

Summarizing: A word, a look or a gesture can brighten things or make them gloomy. The person with us is not an isolated individual, next to us, who throws words in our ear and who remains foreign to the objects around us. He is the person who is either with us or not with us and who makes the degree of togetherness or distance visible in objects, concretely and in reality."

A passage from one of my books on phenomenology...

I'd like to be the person who brightens things.

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Experiences and stuff
Sunday, December 7, 2014
Hmm... Postsecret linked this article about money being able to buy happiness, if you spend it on experiences rather than stuff:

Using Money to Buy Happiness

I guess it makes sense. I think going out for food with people I like makes me much happier than getting new clothes or random things. Even comic books, which I collect, don't have much of a lasting impact on my happiness (although I wouldn't say they're not worth getting-- part of why I collect them is because I like to have something physical that shows my support for an author). It's a relatively small thing, but eating out with other people is one of my favorite things to do, I guess. It's not really about the food itself-- I don't care to go out to eat if I'm by myself, after all-- it's about sharing food with someone else and hanging out and having a nice time.

I won't lie though, I have a lot of stuff. Part of it is just the way I was raised, I guess. My whole house is cluttered with the junk my family has collected over the years. I also have a lot of sentiment attached to my possessions. They're like memory repositories... That particular characteristic of mine sometimes worries me, since it's related to hoarding... but I think I'm okay about getting rid of stuff.

When we were cleaning out our house to put new carpet in, my dad decided to get rid of a lot of his old science fiction anthologies. I grew up reading those and when he asked me if I wanted to keep any of them, I quickly grabbed a bunch of them. I was surprised that he didn't want them anymore. He said that he thought it would be better to get rid of them though, and that he wanted to donate them to the library of one of the local schools so that children could read them. After that I felt kind of guilty for wanting to keep them, as if I was depriving future generations of the stories in them. I put some of the books I had taken out back into the donation box, but I did end up keeping the ones that had stories I knew I might want to reference in the future. I often think about the sci fi short stories I read in my childhood and it absolutely kills me if I can't figure out what they were. Having the books around is sort of a security against that.

Okay, gotta work more on my assignments now. Only... twenty more pages to write... plus an unknown number for one final...

-Cries-

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Namutation [3P]
Thursday, December 4, 2014
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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Less interesting
Tuesday, December 2, 2014
There were a couple of the poetry messages that were kind of interesting, but now they look less poetic and just like lazy/poorly formatted messages. Oh well.

---

Fro didn't come to school today because of a family tragedy, but after school she, Vicky, Alex, and I went to Aqui to hang out and talk. I kind of wanted to give Fro some room to talk about stuff if she needed to, but Vicky sort of... talked most of the time... and I felt a bit... uncomfortable? I guess? Because Fro was telling a story and Vicky was on her phone looking up pictures of her ex on Facebook to show us. It just seemed a bit inappropriate I guess. Still, after we hung out, Fro thanked us for keeping her company, so maybe it didn't matter. I don't really know.

---

In my last class the prof talked about the importance of cultural/social capital and how social mobility can really be hampered by inadequate ability to learn and adhere to different class standards. It was an interesting talk, but nothing I hadn't really known before. In the reading we had for this week, there was a chapter about the difficulty that poor Puerto Rican men in New York in the late 1980s had trying to work in white collar environments. Their lack of understanding of the social hierarchy and middle class work expectations (subservience, conformity, etc.) prevented them from succeeding in office work and other service sector jobs. Because of their failure to secure legal work, they turned to drug peddling, as they were more familiar and comfortable with street culture and the expectations placed upon them in that context.

Class differences, for example, taste, can make a bigger impact than people realize. There was another story in the reading about a woman who was told to "dress sharp" for an interview and showed up wearing a skintight red jumpsuit. She thought she was dressing sharp, but her understanding of what that meant was very different than that of the person who gave her the advice, and she ended up being called tacky. In a different example, the same woman wore a similar outfit to court and the judge thought that she was intentionally dressing that way to offend the court. The woman, on the other hand, thought the judge was jealous of her for being younger and more attractive (the judge was female too).

---

Last night I dreamt I was trying to float on a small raft on a lake, but it kept dipping into the water on one side, and then it wasn't a raft, it was just an old board, and I got wet and gave up.

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Oh gosh
Tuesday, December 2, 2014
I'm getting poetry messages.

.__.

Stream of consciousness freeform poetry messages.

>_<

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Weekstart [3P]
Monday, December 1, 2014
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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(Pretending it's still Saturday) [3P]
Sunday, November 30, 2014
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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Thursday, Friday, today
Saturday, November 29, 2014

Stay a while
We don't have long
We could talk for hours
Till my strength is gone
Though I get so tired
I still get wired


I've heard this song a couple times on the radio in the past few days. Guess I must have missed it in my Junior Boys phase. It's pretty good though. I think they generally have decent lyrics, and not all just about the same generic stuff, which is nice.

Thanksgiving was much more relaxed than I expected, which was a relief. The last couple years it was kind of overwhelming. This year we didn't have as many people, and we had no small children, so it was much quieter. I also didn't make as much food (only made mashed potatoes and mac and cheese), so I ended up napping for a bit before dinner. Browned butter mashed potatoes were a good idea, though I'm not sure if anybody else noticed how much more savory the browned butter made them. In any case I'm definitely going to do this again.

I was going to make spinach ricotta pie but it's kind of a lot of work and I didn't feel up to it. I'm planning to do it today though... It's 1 AM right now so I guess I should get to bed soon if I want to get up at a reasonable time and make it.

So far this break has been nice. Once it's over though, I've got a ton of stuff to do for school, agh. >_< It'll be time for finals soon enough, and while I don't have a lot of finals, I have several papers to write. :(

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