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Memores acti prudentes futuri

You're unsure if I am a loose end or a strand
that waits for you to mend or understand
A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
~ D.H. Lawrence

"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"

"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
~ Seneca

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
~ Daydream Nation

"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

"The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road."
~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend."
~ William Blake
Online Radio

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A Distant Soil (Some nudity)
The Adventures of Gyno-Star (Some explicit stuff)
Axe Cop
Basic Instructions
Bear Nuts

Blue Milk Special
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Crunchy Bunches

Curia Regis
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dead winter (has some explicit stuff)
Devilbear: The Grimoires of Bearalzebub (PG-13?)
Diesel Sweeties
Eat That Toast!
The End
Evil Diva
Evil Inc.
Existential Comics
The Fancy Adventures of Jack Cannon
For Lack of a Better Comic
Forming (Explicit)

Girls with Slingshots (some explicit stuff...?)
The Last Halloween
Last Train to Old Town
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Legend of Bill
Living With Insanity (some nudity)
Love Me Nice
Married to the Sea
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Medium Large
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Natalie Dee
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Two Guys and Guy

Wilde Life
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Infrequently/No Longer Updating Web Comics
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A Fine Example
Finn and Charlie are HITCHED

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Outing pictures of various sorts [2P]
Tuesday, April 21, 2015
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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Something from PS
Sunday, April 19, 2015
I saw this on Postsecret.

It's a sad, simply-worded secret that sums up a lot of complicated things, and it stood out to me.

It's 3 AM.

(My mind autocompleted that with "She won't put out, let's go make out with her friends..." because of Mindless Self Indulgence)

Stayed up too late talking to my friend again. Derps.

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TMF again
Wednesday, April 15, 2015
I heard this song on the radio for the first time today and instantly loved it. I've been listening to it on repeat (alternating with "Andrew in Drag" by the same band) whenever I've had the chance. Perhaps unsurprisingly, it's by The Magnetic Fields (shaping up to be my favorite band?).

"The Luckiest Guy on the Lower East Side" by The Magnetic Fields.

Andy would bicycle across town
In the rain to bring you candy
And John would buy the gown
For you to wear to the prom
With Tom the astronomer, who'd name a star for you

But I'm the luckiest guy
On the Lower East Side
'Cause I've got wheels
And you want to go for a ride

Harry is the one I think you'll marry
But it's Chris that you kissed after school
Well, I'm a fool, there's no doubt
But when the sun comes out
And only when the sun comes out

I'm the luckiest guy
On the Lower East Side
'Cause I've got wheels
And you want to go for a ride

The day is beautiful and so are you
My car is ugly but then I'm ugly too
I know you'd never give me a second glance
But when the weather's nice all the other guys don't stand a chance

I know Professor Blumen makes you feel like a woman
But when the wind is in your hair you laugh like a little girl
So you share secrets with Lou, but we've got secrets too
Well, one: I only keep this heap for you

'Cause I'm the ugliest guy
On the Lower East Side
But I've got wheels
And you want to go for a ride
Want to go for a ride?
Want to go for a ride?
Want to go for a ride?

It's such a beautiful, sweet, and maybe sad song. It has a particular vibe I'm really fond of but don't know how to describe well. Maybe... sad-but-making-the-best-of-things? Like when you're a kid and you're old enough to understand and appreciate the last day of summer before you have to go back to school...? I'm not sure if that's really right. I feel a similar thread in "We Are Young" by Fun ("Tonight, we are young, so let's set the world on fire, we can burn brighter than the sun"). That small sadness that accompanies the understanding that a happy moment will not last forever? I think that's a better way to put it.

Nothing is ever permanent, and that's wonderful and terrible all at once.

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Going to sleep... soon...
Wednesday, April 15, 2015
"Sea of Tears" by The Goldebriars.

I might have posted this song before, but I don't remember. It came up on Pandora and I'm rather fond of it.

Sailing on a sea of tears
Alone and feeling kind of blue without you
So I'll be sailing far away, far away to stay
To stay and cry and try and try to find someone
Who maybe will be fun again
Or maybe find a friend who's true
And so I'm sailing on a sea of tears
And and blue because of you
Can't you see that I am sailing on and on
The night turns into dawn, and day is gone
And dusk goes on, and on and on, I search for someone
Just like you, but that's the worst thing I could do
Because I'm sailing...
Sailing on a sea of tears
Alone and feeling kind of blue without you
So I'll be sailing far away, far away to stay
To stay and cry and try and try to find someone
Who maybe will be fun again
Or maybe find a friend who's true...

Here's a happier song for contrast.

"How Can I Be Down" by The Yellow Balloon.

Life was just a downer till now, then you came along and oh wow


It's 2 AM. :( I didn't mean to stay up this late but I got sidetracked talking to my friend. We were wondering how much each of us has said in our conversations and he wrote a script to find out. Turns out he's got a good thousand words (and then some) on me. I was surprised to find that out, but it's interesting to know.


We have been talking about dreams and memories and subjective experience and stuff and I wish I wasn't so tired and that I didn't have to do stuff tomorrow.


Have I mentioned this song before? I can't remember at all. I hated that other popular song by Florence and the Machine, but "What Kind of Man" is nice.

The VEVO version is the only one on Youtube that didn't have the audio altered... The actual song doesn't even start until almost two minutes in.

And with one kiss, you inspired a fire of devotion
That lasted twenty years
What kind of man loves like this?

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Makeup and blah [2P]
Sunday, April 12, 2015
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

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Tuesday, April 7, 2015
"Absolutely Cuckoo" by The Magnetic Fields.

I don't remember posting this song before. I've listened to it a lot.

Earlier I watched this and something about it struck me.

"On S'Embrasse?"

Sometimes trying to smile is much harder than keeping a neutral face.


I played a little game called We Might As Well Die tonight. It wasn't very long or even particularly good, but it mentioned a book called Bright Lights, Glass Houses by Ashton Raze, and I got curious and looked it up. Turns out it's free on Amazon, so I read a bit of it. It's a collection of short stories, so just up my alley, I guess.

One of the stories is called "The Last Voice You'll Ever Hear" and I kind of liked it. It's about someone who stalks girls and then sedates them in their apartments and makes them choose between living and dying. Somewhat interesting premise. I'm not sure what the ending is about, though. It's only a few pages, so maybe I'll see if anybody I know wants to read it and talk about it with me. That seems like it'd be nice.


This game, pacapong, looks a bit interesting too. Need to find someone to play with...

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Yesterday things [2P]
Sunday, April 5, 2015
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People who can't read
Thursday, April 2, 2015
So I had this... "exchange"... on OKC:

Random guy: Hey what's up
Me: Sorry, I'm not interested.
Random guy: Nothing much
Random guy (over a week later): Hey what's up

I'm not really sure if this guy just can't take a hint or can't read or what, but I have absolutely no idea how "Sorry, I'm not interested" could be interpreted as "What's up with you?" or something similar.

Anyway. Plans with my friend are solidifying! We're going to go to a trampoline park, not sure what else we'll do.


I had a dream that was kind of upsetting and made me wish my boyfriend was next to me when I woke up, but eh, nothing to be done about it. At least the feeling went away after awhile.

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