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Memores acti prudentes futuri

What's broken can always be fixed
what's fixed will always be broken
A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
~ D.H. Lawrence

"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"

"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
~ Seneca

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
~ Daydream Nation

"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

"The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road."
~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

“It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.”
~ William Blake
Online Radio

More Fun Shtuff
Newgrounds Audio Portal
Kill that boredom!
Binder Paper Comics

Web Comics and Such
A Distant Soil (Some nudity)
The Adventures of Gyno-Star (Some explicit stuff)
Axe Cop
Basic Instructions
Bear Nuts

Blue Milk Special
Camp Weedonwantcha
Cigarro & Cerveja
Conspiracy Friends!
Crunchy Bunches

Curia Regis
Cyanide and Happiness
dead winter (has some explicit stuff)
Devilbear: The Grimoires of Bearalzebub (PG-13?)
Diesel Sweeties
Dumm Comics
Eat That Toast!
Ectopiary (Some nudity)
The End
Evil Diva
Evil Inc.
Existential Comics
The Fancy Adventures of Jack Cannon
For Lack of a Better Comic
Forming (Explicit)

Girls with Slingshots (some explicit stuff...?)
Hark! A Vagrant
Head Doctor Productions
Hollow Mountain
IDK Comics
Inscribing Ardi
The Intrepid Girlbot
JBabb Comics
The Last Halloween
Last Train to Old Town
The League of Evil Genius

Legend of Bill
Living With Insanity (some nudity)
Love Me Nice
Married to the Sea
Meaty Yogurt
Medium Large
The Meek
The Moon Prince
Moon Town
Moth (Some nudity)
Mr. Lovenstein
Muddlers Beat

Natalie Dee
The Non-Adventures of Wonderella
Out There
Owen's Uncles
Phuzzy Comics
P.I. Jane
Political Cartoonists Index
Poorly Drawn Lines
The Property of Hate
Red Meat
Rice Boy
Robbie and Bobby
Rosscott, Inc.
Safely Endangered
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Savage Chickens
Scenes from a Multiverse
The Secret Knots
Serenity Rose
Stand Still. Stay Silent
Stinking Hellebore
Strong Female Protagonist
The Super Fogeys
Tales of Pylea
Three Word Phrase (some nudity)
Tiny Kitten Teeth
Toothpaste for Dinner
Trying Human (Some nudity)
Two Guys and Guy

Wilde Life
Yellow Peril (PG-13)

Infrequently/No Longer Updating Web Comics
The Abominable Charles Christopher
The Adventures of Dr. McNinja
The Adventures of Ellie Connelly
American Hell
Bag of Toast
Bear in Mind
The Book of Biff
Chain Bear (Some explicit stuff)
Daisy is Dead
Dream Life
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life
A Fine Example
Finn and Charlie are HITCHED

Green Wake
Gun Show
Hello with Cheese
Helpful Figures
Kyle & Atticus
Lesbian Pirates from Outer Space
Letters to a Wild Boar
Lovecraft is Missing

Meat and Plastic
Minimalism Sucks
The Nerds of Paradise
No Reason Comics
One Swoop Fell
Pictures for Sad Children
Raymondo Person
A Redtail's Dream

Roy's Boys (PG 13?)
Run Freak Run
Saint's Way
Sin Titulo
Split Lip
Spooky Doofus
Super Buzzkill
The Super Gay Adventures of Ross Boston
Ugly Girl
2815 Monument

Pure Flash Awesomeness
Angry Alien
Die Anstalt : Toy Psychiatry
The Frown

Clients from Hell
Brian Despain
Creatures in My Head
Damn You Auto Correct!
Jhonen Vasquez's site
Overheard in New York
Passive Aggressive Notes
Looky here
free counters
A little more on the same theme
Monday, March 26, 2018
"Ten-Twenty-Ten" by Generationals.

When I need it so bad, why do you not come to defend?
Is that any way to tell me that you're gonna be a terrible friend?
You remind me of a distant constellation
The way you cover it up, but don't let me touch
So now you wanna know, is that important?
Baby now well it just depends, it just depends

And when you come back uptown remember not to look for me there
I gave you one more chance to make it better but you don't seem to care
You pretend to be accosted by tradition
And now you cover it up, tell me you don't
Well now you wanna know, is nothing sacred?
And I don't wanna have to compare, they don't compare

When I see your friends they say it's in my head
All my friends seem to think you might leave me for dead
I don't remember if it's cost or complication
That keeps leaving it out, cover it up
And if you wanna know, I won't confront you
With all the stupid things that you said


I hung out with Alice last night. We got dinner and caught up a little. I mentioned that she told me once that she didn't think I had a strong personality, and she didn't remember. She seemed to think she had insulted me by saying it, though I didn't receive it that way at the time. I told her that someone else had told me I had a strong personality for the first time, and she said that she thought I'd always been opinionated, and that I just hold back on expressing those opinions. I guess I'd agree with that assessment. I have often preferred not to share my thoughts until I know what other people think first. Lately I've been volunteering more though. I'm not sure if it's a strategy I find advantageous.


First session with the new counselor today. Every time I try to plan what I'll say in a session, I end up deviating from my plan, so I haven't tried too hard to think of what I'll say. Whatever comes up comes up.

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Odd comments [2P]
Saturday, March 24, 2018
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Necessity, desire, and the bare minimum
Wednesday, March 21, 2018
I think I've probably written about this before. It seems to come up every once in awhile. I get tired of people telling me that I "don't need to" or that it's "not your job to do that," as if obligation is the only reason to do anything.

This tends to come up specifically in the context of being kind or forgiving towards people who have wronged me. I've decided to talk to that guy about what happened so he at least knows that he did something wrong. Some of my friends think that's a bad idea and I shouldn't even try. Stuff like "he doesn't deserve that" and "you don't have to be nice to him" has come up. The only support I've gotten about this is from someone who thinks it could be "cathartic" for me to chew this guy out for what he did. That's not why I want to do it, though. I think it's possible that nobody else will call him out for this kind of behavior, and I want to give him at least a chance to change by providing him with feedback. If he doesn't, then whatever, that's not really on me. I don't think it's my mission to fix this guy, but I want him to have the opportunity to work on himself, whether or not he "deserves" that kindness.

My kindness and forgiveness are not finite resources... I don't feel like I lose something by being this way, by acting this way. I feel like I am adhering to my values rather than caving to the social pressure to be more selfish and stingy with my goodwill.

I get not wanting to put in more than the minimum effort in some ways... that's pretty much how I got through most of school. This isn't an area of my life where I feel like doing the bare minimum that's required of me, though. So, yeah. I am willing to try to communicate with the people who have done hurtful or unpleasant things to me, as a way to point them towards improvement, not because I have to, but because I want to.

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The pain and relief of feeling seen [DP]
Friday, March 16, 2018
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What happened [DP]
Monday, March 12, 2018
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No no no no no
Sunday, March 11, 2018
I got into an unexpected uncomfortable situation today, and was kind of scared about how to handle it, but I held to my boundaries and I feel proud of myself for that, even if I made mistakes earlier on.

Tonight could have gone much worse than it did, but I still feel a bit on edge. It doesn't really feel okay to me.

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Like schoolgirls
Wednesday, March 7, 2018
Before my class today, I ran into a girl I was friendly with at the retreat in the hall. We caught up a little, and then she said "Ooh, he's cute" and looked at a guy standing down the hall from us. I agreed with her and then we talked about him being cute for a moment. She said he looked very friendly and approachable, so I encouraged her to go say hi to him. There was... lots of giggling involved, and then she pulled me over to walk with her past him. We pretended to look at the vending machine nearby while loudly making pretend conversation about what we were doing, then walked by him a second time and she struck up a conversation with him by asking what class he was waiting for. I am a terrible wingwoman, so I was unable to keep a straight face and pretty much just giggled the whole time, then told her I had to go to class and said goodbye.

Something about the whole interaction just felt so lighthearted and innocent and it was really pleasant. I miss giggling over cute boys with my girl friends. Nowadays I don't really have anybody to do it with, and I also find guys attractive so infrequently that it would hardly matter if I did have someone to talk to about it.

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The words from someone else's mouth [DP]
Tuesday, March 6, 2018
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