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Memores acti prudentes futuri

You're unsure if I am a loose end or a strand
that waits for you to mend or understand
A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
~ D.H. Lawrence

"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"

"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
~ Seneca

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
~ Daydream Nation

"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

"The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road."
~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend."
~ William Blake
Online Radio

More Fun Shtuff
Newgrounds Audio Portal
Kill that boredom!
Binder Paper Comics

Web Comics and Such
A Distant Soil (Some nudity)
The Adventures of Gyno-Star (Some explicit stuff)
Axe Cop
Basic Instructions
Bear Nuts

Blue Milk Special
Cigarro & Cerveja
Crunchy Bunches

Curia Regis
Cyanide and Happiness
dead winter (has some explicit stuff)
Devilbear: The Grimoires of Bearalzebub (PG-13?)
Diesel Sweeties
Eat That Toast!
The End
Evil Diva
Evil Inc.
Existential Comics
The Fancy Adventures of Jack Cannon
For Lack of a Better Comic
Forming (Explicit)

Girls with Slingshots (some explicit stuff...?)
The Last Halloween
Last Train to Old Town
The League of Evil Genius

Legend of Bill
Living With Insanity (some nudity)
Love Me Nice
Married to the Sea
Meaty Yogurt
Medium Large
The Meek
The Moon Prince
Moth (Some nudity)
Mr. Lovenstein
Muddlers Beat

Natalie Dee
The Non-Adventures of Wonderella
Out There
Owen's Uncles
Phuzzy Comics
Political Cartoonists Index
Poorly Drawn Lines
The Property of Hate
Red Meat
Rice Boy
Robbie and Bobby
Rosscott, Inc.
Safely Endangered
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Savage Chickens
Scary Go Round
Scenes from a Multiverse
The Secret Knots
Serenity Rose
Stand Still. Stay Silent
Stinking Hellebore
Strong Female Protagonist
Tales of Pylea
Three Word Phrase (some nudity)
Tiny Kitten Teeth
Toothpaste for Dinner
Trying Human (Some nudity)
Two Guys and Guy

Wilde Life
Yellow Peril (PG-13)

Infrequently/No Longer Updating Web Comics
The Abominable Charles Christopher
The Adventures of Dr. McNinja
The Adventures of Ellie Connelly
American Hell
Bag of Toast
Bear in Mind
The Book of Biff
Camp Weedonwantcha
Chain Bear (Some explicit stuff)
Conspiracy Friends!
Daisy is Dead
Dream Life
Dumm Comics
Ectopiary (Some nudity)
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life
A Fine Example
Finn and Charlie are HITCHED

Green Wake
Gun Show
Hark! A Vagrant
Head Doctor Productions
Hello with Cheese
Helpful Figures
Hollow Mountain
IDK Comics
Inscribing Ardi
The Intrepid Girlbot
JBabb Comics
Kyle & Atticus
Lesbian Pirates from Outer Space
Letters to a Wild Boar
Lovecraft is Missing

Meat and Plastic
Minimalism Sucks
Moon Town
The Nerds of Paradise
No Reason Comics
One Swoop Fell
Pictures for Sad Children
Raymondo Person
A Redtail's Dream
Roy's Boys (PG 13?)
Run Freak Run
Saint's Way
Sin Titulo
Split Lip
Spooky Doofus
Super Buzzkill
The Super Fogeys
The Super Gay Adventures of Ross Boston
Ugly Girl
2815 Monument

Pure Flash Awesomeness
Angry Alien
Die Anstalt : Toy Psychiatry
The Frown

Clients from Hell
Brian Despain
Creatures in My Head
Damn You Auto Correct!
Jhonen Vasquez's site
Overheard in New York
Passive Aggressive Notes
Bike thoughts
Thursday, January 20, 2011
"Yes, my heart stood still
Yes, his name was Bill"



Today was kind of disappointing. I also came very close to being in an accident twice within five minutes. Probably three minutes, actually. Had I been struck the first time I think it's likely I would've been seriously injured or killed, because the van was going very fast when it came at me, and I wasn't wearing a helmet.

A good portion of the time when I'm on my bike, I imagine various ways I could be hurt on it, in slow motion. Today I was thinking about what it would be like to slam face first into the edge of the curb. I think it if it was hard enough it would break all my facial bones and probably leave me disfigured for life. Some, if not all, of my teeth would probably come out or be shattered as well.

Surprisingly enough, I very rarely consider the aftermath of such events. I guess people would tell other people what happened, and say nice things about me. We really should appreciate people more when they're alive, because it doesn't make a difference once they're dead. I guess it's easier to remember good things when the person isn't around to contradict them, though.

Looks like Youtube finally completely switched over to the new player...

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Wednesday, January 19, 2011
I hear scrabbling coming from the ceiling at night. It transitions to the noise of gnawing, stops, and then starts up again, softly.

For a few nights now I've been wondering if I'm just crazy, because nobody else in my house had heard it.

BUT, last night it was there again, so I confronted my brother in the hallway and asked him to come and listen, and he heard it too.

I'm not insane (in that way)!


I just ate an apple, but there is now a cooked carrots aftertaste in my mouth. Ew.

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Not quite a month late [2P]
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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Spring back
Saturday, January 15, 2011
I am not feeling completely better, but I can mostly walk upright now! Huzzah! In a few years I can probably say goodbye to the ability to heal in a few days.

So, this being a four day weekend for me and all, I stayed up until 7 AM yesterday finding music and such. I don't know why I expected the singer of Varoshi Fame to be a fat goth chick, but I did. Turns out she's quite skinny! Or was!

In my various Googlings I also found a band called Virgin Prunes, but I did not think they were that great. Love the name, though.

A site for all the "wacky" dads out there...

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Age is in the mind? :/
Saturday, January 15, 2011
I feel old. Way too old. I'm not even two decades into life yet and I feel like it's been forever.

Today my lower back hurt a lot, so I stayed in bed for most of the day and had to kind of lean over while moving about to keep it from hurting more.

I thought about how my brother was being pretentious, immature, and rude.

And then, as I sat eating prunes (I just like the taste...), horror washed over me.

-Back pain
-Hunched posture
-Disapproval of youth


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New links
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Remember the days where I'd title my entries with random nonsense completely unrelated to the content of the post? I don't, but I'm pretty sure it was a thing.

I have been discreetly adding new links to my KtB module, if any of you check that out. Found some really high quality web comics recently, and I'm quite pleased about that. I'm almost hesitant to recommend Sin Titulo, because it's completely amazing, but it updates excruciatingly infrequently, from what I can tell.

Maybe if I get a secret page one of these days I'll move my web comic list there, and revamp it with thumbnails or something... who knows...


I suspect that my budgies are currently molting. Romeo was preening himself earlier and feathers were flying all about the cage. They're out for a romp right now... although they're not really "romping" so much as "chewing on everything they can". Silly little scruffy puffs.

[If my camera was still alive and my hard drive wasn't in a coma I'd put some pictures here!]


Oh yeah, NEWS NEWS NEWS (say that in a Teen Girl Squad voice). But not really news. I saw DC at school yesterday. X|

DC, you say? Why yes, that guy. Remember him, folks? Oh I bet you do. I am pretty sure middaymoon does, at least.

I was completely shocked to see him. And NO I DID NOT TALK TO HIM SHUT UP. I think he might have paralysis-inducing pheromones or something. :|


Budgies are destructive little poop factories, but they're so gosh-darned cute I just can't stop lovin' 'em.

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Monday, January 10, 2011
The background details are fuzzy, but I believe my mother had business with his. We two were left to discover awkward conversation with one another. With the resigned, somewhat sheepish air of people who weren't kids anymore, but who were still excluded from the privies of adulthood, we exchanged looks and began to walk together.

The sun was setting as we began our trek. It didn't seem like we really had time to hike the whole trail, but there was nothing else for us to do. We made small talk, making no real allusions to our past friendship, but catching up on the changes of the years. He looked the same as I remembered from all that time ago, but he discussed significant differences in his life with me.

He had grown taller, he said. I nodded in interest, and pretended I had not heard it already. He also related to me that he had discovered himself as a woman. The transformation had taken place since our long gone friendship, and it had been a subtle awakening within him. I could visualize him staring into a mirror on a brick wall in some high end apartment, slowly contemplating it. I saw pink flowers on an end table in the corner.

As he told me of his change, two men approached us. They were broad and dark, with savage mouths and cruel eyes. We did not know what they wanted, but it seemed to entail something bad for us. I was afraid.

They began to brutalize D, and my fear caught in my throat and I couldn't scream.

He wasn't a person anymore. He was bits and pieces of things in a blue bucket of dark red liquid. It wasn't quite blood... it had the consistency of water. I was panicked. He needed to go to a hospital... maybe there was still hope... but the men were after me, and I had to get away.

I climbed up a steep dirt hill, and they pursued me at a leisurely pace. They wanted from me... nothing that could cause damage, exactly, but I didn't think I could give it. It wasn't the right time. They called for me to give it to them, but I was worried and hesitant. I tried, but it wasn't right. I didn't have it anymore.


There was a mountain of stitched-together animal hides stretched over some hidden frame. It was green and white and brown, meant to match the colors of nature. Thousands, possibly millions, of people trudged down the street to the side of it. It was a pilgrimage to places we all hoped were safer, or untouched by the painful chaos we were fleeing. There were people on the other side of the road, and they told us that they were escaping New York. As I climbed the hides, I hoped I would not be following them soon.


I'm imagining the mouth of a glass bottle in my mouth, its metal cap against my teeth.
I'm imagining the cap grinding on my molars.
I'm imagining pain, and sharpness, and the tang of metal.
The wet feeling of blood on my tongue, on my teeth, painting the insides of my cheeks.

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Thursday, January 6, 2011
This has not been the best of Thursdays. :(

Poetry was fine, no issues there. We talked about two poems the entire time, but it was interesting enough.

Critical Consciousness - Social Action... blah... Firstly, I went into the room and managed to grab a seat in the front before about twelve more people came in, ten of which had to sit in the floor. These people made announcements about their various volunteer opportunities for half an hour, and the professor kept saying things like "if you were here on Tuesday"...

Tuesday? What? I thought this class was Thursday only?

Oh, nope, it's a Tuesday/Thursday class. Which meant... CRAP, I MISSED THE FIRST CLASS.

That did not matter so much because I ended up dropping it, but then...

Tonight, I had my first class meeting for The Greek Achievement... or so I thought. There was some weird business with the scheduling, so it got moved to another room at a later time. I had the wrong location in my phone, but thankfully not the wrong time.

I went to the room, and... whoops, looks like I missed the first class for this one, too. :/ Stupid registration day abbreviations... I misread TR as just Thursday twice, and it didn't completely screw me over, but it caused me a bit of stress.

Okay I have to do the assignment I missed by not attending class before, so I will wrap this up here.

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