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Memores acti prudentes futuri


So when I start to see some face in neon dreams
engulfed in fantasies, the world seems more inviting
A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
~ D.H. Lawrence

"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"

"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
~ Seneca

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
~ Daydream Nation

"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

"The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road."
~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend."
~ William Blake
TICoSME
Musicalities!
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Soma.fm

More Fun Shtuff
Newgrounds Audio Portal
Pandora
SoundClick
Kill that boredom!
Binder Paper Comics

Web Comics and Such
A Distant Soil (Some nudity)
The Adventures of Gyno-Star (Some explicit stuff)
Aquapunk
Axe Cop
Basic Instructions
Bear Nuts
Beeserker

Blue Milk Special
Bug
Buttersafe
ChannelATE
Cigarro & Cerveja
Crunchy Bunches

Curia Regis
Cyanide and Happiness
dead winter (has some explicit stuff)
Devilbear: The Grimoires of Bearalzebub (PG-13?)
Diesel Sweeties
DUBBLEBABY
Eat That Toast!
E-merl.com
The End
Evil Diva
Evil Inc.
Existential Comics
The Fancy Adventures of Jack Cannon
For Lack of a Better Comic
Forming (Explicit)

Girls with Slingshots (some explicit stuff...?)
Mirror
The Last Halloween
Last Train to Old Town
L.A.W.L.S.
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Legend of Bill
Living With Insanity (some nudity)
Love Me Nice
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Mr. Lovenstein
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Natalie Dee
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xkcd
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A Fine Example
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Manta-man
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YU + ME
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Pure Flash Awesomeness
Aardvardkbutter.com
Angry Alien
Die Anstalt : Toy Psychiatry
The Frown
Hoogerbrugge

Other
Bogleech
Clients from Hell
Brian Despain
Creatures in My Head
Damn You Auto Correct!
Jhonen Vasquez's site
Overheard in New York
Passive Aggressive Notes
Submarinechannel.com
Superdickery
UHpinions
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Monday, April 16, 2012
So I'm sick again. Yeah.

I had about one day of wellness and then BAM, cough, sneezing, somewhat sore throat. Also some lightheadedness and difficulty concentrating as a result.

Ugh... you know what... just... April can go f*** itself this year.

Also forgot that I had an assignment due today in one of my classes. :/ I think I can turn it in late, but I'm really bummed that I forgot about it. I hope it doesn't hurt my chances of getting an A...

My boyfriend's been very nurturing since I'm sick. He keeps asking if I want him to pick anything up for me, and he drove me to school today. Every time he hears me cough he says "poor baby..." He also kept asking me if I needed to be picked up from school, but I told him I was going to take the bus/walk home.

It's kind of weird, I feel like he's a stepdad that's trying really hard to win my approval... X|

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Maybe wrong? [DP]
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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Better... mostly
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Sorry to keep you all in suspense.

It wasn't mono. Just some weird cold thing. It's not COMPLETELY gone yet... Still got a bit of a weird scratchy throat thing going on.

SO: things.

The new quarter has started. I still don't know what I'm doing with my life. That could be a problem. I don't know when I'm going to transfer and it's making me kind of sad, but I think the meds dulled how I can feel about that.

Oh, I'm also done with the medication study. Meaning no more meds. This is the second day I haven't had to take them! I should be getting paid soon.

And... whoops. I meant to sleep awhile ago.

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I hate food today
Thursday, April 5, 2012
I wish I didn't have to eat to get better.

I've been kind of sick for awhile. It hurt(s) to swallow, and my temperature's been around 99... Went to the doctor today and he tested for strep, but the results were negative. Also tested for mono, but I won't know if it's that until later.

...I really hope I don't have mono.

If it's just a virus though, I have to stick it out, can't do much about it. He said to take some Advil or something (for the temperature I guess) but that was it.

There's not much else to talk about, really. I've mostly been in bed these past few days.

I had some soup and some juice today, pretty much all I ate unless you count the orange from this afternoon and I guess a couple cookies I only ate so my pill wouldn't make me sick. Couldn't finish the soup because I felt too sick. Blughhhh.

Also uh... is the IM bar messed up for anybody else?

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I choked on my tea
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
When I read this on Wikipedia:

"Thoreau also wore a neck-beard for many years, which he insisted many women found attractive."

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A funeral, a birthday, and Zippy's
Saturday, March 24, 2012
I went to my grandma's funeral today.

Wasn't going to cry, didn't even really feel that sad, but my cousin (she's only eight I think) started bawling when we were about to take the casket to be buried, and it got to me. I didn't break down or anything, I mean. Just a couple tears that escaped.

It's also my dad's birthday, so we went to Zippy's for dinner. Zippy's is a popular fast food restaurant here in Hawaii, but I guess they also have a slightly more upscale sit-down restaurant next to the normal fast food style one in Koko Marina, so we went there instead.

It's kind of weird, you know, about open-casket funerals. It always looks like the person is just sleeping. That's what I feel like, anyway. My grandpa's funeral was open-casket too and he looked like he was just taking a nap in a box. They put a lot of makeup on my grandma's hands, though, and it made her look a bit odd. Almost fake, I guess. Like she wasn't a real person. Otherwise, yeah, she just looked asleep, except that her mouth was closed and she wasn't snoring.

Tomorrow is my boyfriend's birthday, but since I'm in Hawaii, I can't spend it with him. I really want to get him something nice, but every time I ask him what he wants for his birthday he just says "you, I want you." I can't see him until after my finals are through (which should be next weekend), so hopefully I can figure out something good to give him before then.

Haven't really got much else to say. See ya round I guess.

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Oh, well I guess [UPDATED]
Thursday, March 15, 2012
I just don't care about anything anymore.

Not in a tired way, though. I'm just indifferent to everything.

Not in a "what's the point?" way either.

It's really weird.

---

I drew people from my chatroom tonight. I might draw more later, we'll see. I'll edit this post to show you the pictures when it's not 4 AM!

---Edit---

So, this is a few days late. Oh well, better late than never, right?

The first one I did.


I'm not happy with the way this one turned out, but apparently she liked it enough to save it. :S


Accidentally made him look a little like Yanni. D:


If I do more I will post those as well.

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A decline, a drop off?
Monday, March 12, 2012
I don't know what this means for me.

I can't tell how I feel. Nothingness, in some way. Maybe numb. And yet, fully immersed in reality.

Goddamn reality.

I'm solid and I feel solid, but it's like I'm not really here at all. I don't exist, therefore my memories are not real, and the past didn't truly happen.

I just want to sleep, I want to be alone and sleep for a week, for a month. I don't want to participate in society for awhile.

What have I done?

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