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Memores acti prudentes futuri

You're unsure if I am a loose end or a strand
that waits for you to mend or understand
A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
~ D.H. Lawrence

"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"

"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
~ Seneca

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
~ Daydream Nation

"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

"The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road."
~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend."
~ William Blake
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Forming (Explicit)

Girls with Slingshots (some explicit stuff...?)
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Stories and sickness
Monday, December 10, 2012
So it seems like you guys are interested in reading the draft. I have it as a private Google Doc right now, so if you have Gmail, send me a note with your email address and I'll share it with you.

For people without Gmail... I might just post it here once I'm done. Assuming I get it to a point where it feels done. -Crosses fingers-

Also! The other half of this entry's title. I am sick. It sucks. Right now it's just the typical cold symptoms, you know, congestion, sore throat, etc. It's finals week though, which is not exactly the best time to be sick. :|

I finished my research paper at least. Not that I had a choice, since it was due today. I asked my dad to look over it to see if it made sense before I printed it out yesterday, and when he finished he told me that if it had been for an English class he would have had a lot of suggestions for improvement. -__- For an Anthropology class though, he thought it was fine.

Wonder what he'd say about my creative writing........

I feel like one of the kids I volunteer with might have gotten me sick. This morning when I was in there half of them were coughing, and since they're three year olds, most of the time they don't cover their mouths. Yayyyyyyyy.


...American Apparel has beach towels with pictures of naked/mostly naked men on them. I was looking through the swim sale they're having and I saw the listing at the bottom and was like "what is this" so I clicked on it and looked through the pictures. At first it was just funny but then, suddenly, DICK.

Only American Apparel, man, only them.

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Work in progress
Saturday, December 8, 2012
I'm working on a story right now. I "finished" it for my writing group yesterday, in a sense, but I kind of just concluded it so that it wouldn't be obviously not done.

Everybody liked it, and they want me to write more.

Is anyone here interested in reading the draft version and possibly commenting/giving constructive criticism?


Writing group was fun yesterday. There were five of us because I brought my boyfriend, and we met at a coffee shop and generally enjoyed ourselves, I thought. I got a lot of positive feedback on my story.

After it ended, my boyfriend and I went back to his apartment and watched this Korean movie called "I'm a Cyborg but That's OK" about crazy people. The er... heroine thinks that she's a cyborg, and the... hero... I guess... has some weird mommy issues and is a thief. It was kind of interesting at first, but it felt like it went on forever. I don't mind if movies are slow-paced usually, but this was nigh unbearable. I was seriously convinced we had been watching it for four hours at one point. When it finally ended though, kind of confusingly/unsatisfyingly, we found out it was only an hour and fifty minutes long.


Would not watch that again.

Anyway, gotta work on my eight page research paper. :(

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I wrote a poem for my boyfriend (Updated)[DPx]
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
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Things I've bought recently-ish [2P]
Saturday, December 1, 2012
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Thursday, November 29, 2012
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A little bit of happy hope
Sunday, November 25, 2012
In the midst of all this schoolwork stress, I'm thinking about my future for the first time in years without it being an overwhelmingly negative thing.

As we drove back from Black Friday shopping, my boyfriend and I talked about our aspirations for the future. He talked about a fantasy future where he founds a startup and sells it for millions of dollars, and we use the money to travel the world for a year. Now I'm just dreaming about that. It's nice to be able to have fantasies again, instead of just a general hopelessness about life and the future. It's nice to be able to imagine things and not immediately feel unhappy because of the reminder that they're probably impossible.


I was lucky again on Wednesday. We drew times for presentations right before taking our second midterm in class, and at first I was horrified because I got the very first timeslot on the very first day of presentations, which is Monday the 26th. I hadn't even started my paper yet at that point. But then I managed to trade my time (1:30 PM) with a guy who wanted to go as early as possible, so I ended up with 2:40 PM on 11/26. Well, it turned out that somebody else got that same time, and they put their name down for that slot on the timesheet before I did, so I told the teacher and I got to draw again. Now I'm going on December 5th. :)

...But I just realized I don't remember what time. Oops. Oh well, I guess I can just ask during class.

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Matching hypothesis
Friday, November 23, 2012
Boyfriend: You're so pretty.
Me: Do you know what Matching Hypothesis is?
Boyfriend: No.
Me: It's the idea that people generally end up with people who are about the same as them in terms of physical attractiveness, and that means...
Boyfriend: ...That you're the exception to the rule for being with someone as ugly as me?


He calls me pretty/cute/adorable/beautiful etc. all the time, and I want to compliment him back, but I don't know what to say. I want to raise his self esteem like he's raised mine, but it's hard. :(

Thanksgiving was fun, though very tiring. There were eighteen of us total, and we made way too much food. I honestly don't know how we can possibly finish it all... My mom had me make two batches of mac and cheese, and that was a mistake, I think. It's good and all, but it's going to get tiring very quickly. My boyfriend needs food to put in the empty fridge in his new apartment (he got it two days ago!) though, so I suppose that'll help a little. I still haven't seen his apartment... I kind of want to get him some candles or something as an apartment warming present.

Goal for today/tomorrow (it's Friday... but it's 12:31 AM right now so I feel like it's still Thursday) is to finish my book for Psych and write a 5-7 page report on it. It's a library book due tomorrow and we already renewed it once, so I gotta be speedy. >_< Bleh, homework.

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Dealing with conflict in relationships
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
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