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Memores acti prudentes futuri


You're unsure if I am a loose end or a strand
that waits for you to mend or understand
A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
~ D.H. Lawrence

"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"

"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
~ Seneca

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
~ Daydream Nation

"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

"The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road."
~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend."
~ William Blake
TICoSME
Musicalities!
Online Radio
Soma.fm

More Fun Shtuff
Newgrounds Audio Portal
Pandora
SoundClick
Kill that boredom!
Binder Paper Comics

Web Comics and Such
A Distant Soil (Some nudity)
The Adventures of Gyno-Star (Some explicit stuff)
Aquapunk
Axe Cop
Basic Instructions
Bear Nuts
Beeserker

Blue Milk Special
Bug
Buttersafe
ChannelATE
Cigarro & Cerveja
Crunchy Bunches

Curia Regis
Cyanide and Happiness
dead winter (has some explicit stuff)
Devilbear: The Grimoires of Bearalzebub (PG-13?)
Diesel Sweeties
DUBBLEBABY
Eat That Toast!
E-merl.com
The End
Evil Diva
Evil Inc.
Existential Comics
The Fancy Adventures of Jack Cannon
For Lack of a Better Comic
Forming (Explicit)

Girls with Slingshots (some explicit stuff...?)
Mirror
The Last Halloween
Last Train to Old Town
L.A.W.L.S.
The League of Evil Genius

Legend of Bill
Living With Insanity (some nudity)
Love Me Nice
Married to the Sea
Meaty Yogurt
Medium Large
The Meek
Metacarpolis
Monsterhood
Monsterkind
The Moon Prince
Moth (Some nudity)
Mr. Lovenstein
Muddlers Beat

Natalie Dee
Nedroid
The Non-Adventures of Wonderella
Optipess
Out There
Owen's Uncles
Phuzzy Comics
Political Cartoonists Index
Poorly Drawn Lines
Powernap
The Property of Hate
Red Meat
Rice Boy
Robbie and Bobby
Rosscott, Inc.
Safely Endangered
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Savage Chickens
Scary Go Round
Scenes from a Multiverse
The Secret Knots
Serenity Rose
Stand Still. Stay Silent
Stinking Hellebore
Strong Female Protagonist
Subnormality
Tales of Pylea
Three Word Phrase (some nudity)
Tiny Kitten Teeth
Toothpaste for Dinner
Trying Human (Some nudity)
Two Guys and Guy

Wilde Life
Witchy
xkcd
Yellow Peril (PG-13)

Infrequently/No Longer Updating Web Comics
The Abominable Charles Christopher
The Adventures of Dr. McNinja
The Adventures of Ellie Connelly
American Hell
Bag of Toast
Bear in Mind
Bobwhite
The Book of Biff
Brat-halla
Brightest
Broodhollow
Bullfinch
Camp Weedonwantcha
Chain Bear (Some explicit stuff)
Chainsawsuit
Conspiracy Friends!
Daisy is Dead
Distillum
Dream Life
Dumm Comics
Ectopiary (Some nudity)
Edemia
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life
A Fine Example
Finn and Charlie are HITCHED
Floodmud
Freaks!

Green Wake
Gun Show
Hark! A Vagrant
Head Doctor Productions
Hello with Cheese
Helpful Figures
Hollow Mountain
IDK Comics
Inscribing Ardi
Intragalactic
The Intrepid Girlbot
JBabb Comics
Kyle & Atticus
Lesbian Pirates from Outer Space
Letters to a Wild Boar
Lovecraft is Missing

Manta-man
Meat and Plastic
Minimalism Sucks
Mis-
Moe
Moon Town
The Nerds of Paradise
Nimona
No Reason Comics
Odd-Fish
One Swoop Fell
Patches
Pictures for Sad Children
Raymondo Person
A Redtail's Dream
Riotfish
Roy's Boys (PG 13?)
Run Freak Run
Saint's Way
Shortpacked!
Sin Titulo
Snowflakes
Split Lip
Spooky Doofus
SubCulture
Super Buzzkill
The Super Fogeys
The Super Gay Adventures of Ross Boston
Thermohalia
Troubletown
Mirror
Ugly Girl
YU + ME
2815 Monument

Pure Flash Awesomeness
Aardvardkbutter.com
Angry Alien
Die Anstalt : Toy Psychiatry
The Frown
Hoogerbrugge

Other
Bogleech
Clients from Hell
Brian Despain
Creatures in My Head
Damn You Auto Correct!
Jhonen Vasquez's site
Overheard in New York
Passive Aggressive Notes
Submarinechannel.com
Superdickery
UHpinions
Whirled
EUPHORIA
Sunday, March 30, 2014
I FINISHED THE GROUP PROJECT AGH FINALLY

I rewrote everybody else's part (roughly ten pages), but at least it's done.

I better get a goddamn A on this project.

Anyway my happy thing for today is that I'm done. I'm DONE.

Before this I didn't really have a happy thing and all I was going to say was that I ate some olives and they tasted good.

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Close enough to a good thing
Saturday, March 29, 2014
Well, I finished MY part for this group project. But none of my group members are done with theirs, and it's almost 11 PM and the project is due tomorrow. :(

But I finished my part, so that's my good thing for today. :T

Once everybody is done... whenever that is... I'm going to edit their parts and write an abstract for our paper and email it to our professor.

After that, my break will truly start. I'm so, so, so, SO done with this quarter. I just want to be able to play games and hang out with people and maybe wallow in depression a little bit.

I had a dream this morning but I only remember parts of it because my parents knocked on my door to ask me if I wanted biscuits.

In it, I was at a big amusement park of some sort, running away from somebody bad... there was someone with me whom I cared about, but I don't know who it was. I think it was just a dream person, not someone I know in real life... I suggested we run toward the section of the park that bordered the ocean, and headed in that direction. I guess my companion didn't follow me, because when I got there I was alone. I didn't have much time, so I quickly climbed down a rock outcropping and hid on a secret ledge just above the water. The bad people showed up shortly after and couldn't find me. Once the coast was clear I edged around the ledge in an attempt to get back up and go somewhere else, but all the handholds I had been using dislodged when I grabbed them. They were bigger rocks only held together by some rough wet sand and pebbles, and they couldn't support the weight of my attempts to hoist myself back up. The rock had all been solid when I climbed down... I did manage to get back to the top though, only to discover that my companion had abandoned me. Not only that, but he had never actually been on my side, I realized. He was just pretending to help me and run with me and was working for the bad people...

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Welp, Nutang logged me out while I was typing an entry
Saturday, March 29, 2014
Sooo... that entry was lost.

I will try to quickly rewrite it.

This was pretty much the only thing that made me smile today:


But I also found this and thought it was beautiful.


I think I am feeling "depressed" to some degree but I'm only using that term because it makes sense to other people.

Me: I don't even know how to describe my emotions right now
Me: Well, in any meaningful way at least.
Me: It's sort of like I'm lying on a bed in a cheap motel room and everybody outside is dead.
Kyle: that is one of the most depressing images i've had. [heard?]

Um, I need to finish my last assignment but I'm feeling bleh again.

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Almost done with this quarter
Thursday, March 27, 2014
I took my last final today. It was pretty easy, I thought. The prof accidentally repeated a few of the questions, so they were pretty much free double points.

Also, I finished the ten page paper for that class that I've been putting off. That's my happy thing for today. It's a gigantic relief to be done with it. I had a really hard time writing it and left myself five pages to do today, but they actually went by really quickly.

Now I just have to do a three page introduction to a stats paper and I'm all done for this quarter... I'm really looking forward to spring break, even though I don't know what I'll be doing. I kind of want to go to the mall, but I don't have money to spend and I don't know who I could go with anyway.

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All these leftovers
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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Same as yesterday more or less
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Today one of my classmates gave me flowers from her garden to try to cheer me up. It was a really sweet gesture.

I can't say I was actually happy at any point today, but it felt good to be around people who care about me and include me.

I've been thinking about something that the girl who talked to me for a long time yesterday said. She told me that she thought I was very intelligent, but not just in a book smart way. Like, I make connections I guess, and understand things? She wasn't sure how to describe it at first, but settled on the term "wise." She also said that I seemed to just know a lot of different things, and that she didn't know any guys who could match me on that level.

There are certain compliments that really stick with me over time, and that was one of them. I've admired and thought the world of other people before, but to my knowledge nobody has felt that way about me. It feels really nice to know something thinks highly of me in a meaningful way.

Bonus good thing: I didn't cry today! At all! Wow!

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Things to be happy about
Monday, March 24, 2014
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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Gone, gone, gone
Sunday, March 23, 2014


In the timid darkness tonight
Soaking up moonlight
Are all your roses in the Nordic countries
Soaking up moonlight forever
Now life is a dream
Atlas of fears
Soaking up moonlight
Soaking up moonlight
Soaking up moonlight
Labored with her colors and sound
I�ll arrest your love
See all my echoes of a supernova
I�ll arrest your love forever
Now life is a dream
Atlas of fears
I�ll arrest your love
I�ll arrest your love
I�ll arrest your love
What do you see when you close your eyes
The beautiful disappearing truth
My recovered memories of the current landscape
Soaking up the moonlight in the Nordic countries

---

Almost two and a half years, gone just like that...

I think it was the right thing to do, but that doesn't make it any easier.

brb going to go hibernate in sadness for the next thousand years

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