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Memores acti prudentes futuri

You're unsure if I am a loose end or a strand
that waits for you to mend or understand
A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
~ D.H. Lawrence

"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"

"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
~ Seneca

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
~ Daydream Nation

"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

"The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road."
~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend."
~ William Blake
Online Radio

More Fun Shtuff
Newgrounds Audio Portal
Kill that boredom!
Binder Paper Comics

Web Comics and Such
A Distant Soil (Some nudity)
The Adventures of Gyno-Star (Some explicit stuff)
Axe Cop
Basic Instructions
Bear Nuts

Blue Milk Special
Cigarro & Cerveja
Crunchy Bunches

Curia Regis
Cyanide and Happiness
dead winter (has some explicit stuff)
Devilbear: The Grimoires of Bearalzebub (PG-13?)
Diesel Sweeties
Eat That Toast!
The End
Evil Diva
Evil Inc.
Existential Comics
The Fancy Adventures of Jack Cannon
For Lack of a Better Comic
Forming (Explicit)

Girls with Slingshots (some explicit stuff...?)
The Last Halloween
Last Train to Old Town
The League of Evil Genius

Legend of Bill
Living With Insanity (some nudity)
Love Me Nice
Married to the Sea
Meaty Yogurt
Medium Large
The Meek
The Moon Prince
Moth (Some nudity)
Mr. Lovenstein
Muddlers Beat

Natalie Dee
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Out There
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Political Cartoonists Index
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Robbie and Bobby
Rosscott, Inc.
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Scary Go Round
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Three Word Phrase (some nudity)
Tiny Kitten Teeth
Toothpaste for Dinner
Trying Human (Some nudity)
Two Guys and Guy

Wilde Life
Yellow Peril (PG-13)

Infrequently/No Longer Updating Web Comics
The Abominable Charles Christopher
The Adventures of Dr. McNinja
The Adventures of Ellie Connelly
American Hell
Bag of Toast
Bear in Mind
The Book of Biff
Camp Weedonwantcha
Chain Bear (Some explicit stuff)
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Daisy is Dead
Dream Life
Dumm Comics
Ectopiary (Some nudity)
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life
A Fine Example
Finn and Charlie are HITCHED

Green Wake
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Hark! A Vagrant
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Lesbian Pirates from Outer Space
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Lovecraft is Missing

Meat and Plastic
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No Reason Comics
One Swoop Fell
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Roy's Boys (PG 13?)
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Ugly Girl
2815 Monument

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Die Anstalt : Toy Psychiatry
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Clients from Hell
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Damn You Auto Correct!
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Passive Aggressive Notes
A note?
Thursday, April 17, 2014
During lunch today I showed a couple of my classmates the environmental building on campus where I used to spend a lot of time. We walked around the er... environmental area (it's this sort of secluded place that has a bunch of native California habitats in it)

After our last class, when I was packing up, she put a note on my desk when I wasn't looking. It basically thanked me for showing her the "secret" area and said I was smart, humble, and had a lovely voice.

...And that I have sexy curves. >_>

So that was... nice...?

I have some gigs coming up, so hopefully I'll be able to buy that hat soon.

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Aww, money
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
At the nursery where I work, there's this old couple that comes in and volunteers with us. They have some health problems, so mostly what they do is sit and just hold babies on their laps.

Today I got an envelope in the mail from someone whose name I didn't recognize. I opened it and it turned out to be a card with $10 in it! The wife sent me a card to say happy Easter. It's so sweet. I'm writing a thank you card back now.

...I accidentally wrote their address in the wrong spot on the envelope. >_< Covering it up with stickers and hoping it doesn't look too weird... I would just get a new envelope, but this is a special cute envelope that goes with the card. :\

The gala is next week!

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Reality behind frosted glass
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
Are you reading this? I read your letter.


Fro suggested that I write about a happy thing every day, and I have been doing that. I think it's helped a lot, because I generally feel good. I'm not ignoring the negative things, but I'm focusing on the positive ones.

I'm not going to try to reply to all the statements you made in your letter. I still care about you, and I did not cast you out of my life, you cut me out of yours. If you haven't thrown away the house key we gave you and my dad's wrench set, please return them.

Perhaps you don't know, but I tried to find someone to spend time with you on your birthday because I didn't want you to be alone. I didn't plan to break up with you right before your birthday, but unfortunately it happened that way. I tried to find a way to contact that coworker of yours who invited us to dinner, but I was unable to. I also asked Jasper if he could do something with you, but he said you were busy. There wasn't much else I could do.

I hope that you can heal and that we can be friends someday, even though you're hurting a lot right now. I wish you the best and I'm sorry things happened this way.


Today my good thing is that my second class was canceled, so school ended early. Also, I'm mostly pleased with my weight at the moment.

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Monday, April 14, 2014
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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Karaoke and Craigslist
Sunday, April 13, 2014
Karaoke was fun! We sang for about two and a half hours. I felt like I did really badly on some of the songs, but as long as the music was loud enough you couldn't tell that well. :P Afterwards we got pizza and talked about ~guys~. XD

There's this SUPER attractive guy on OKC, like wow man, 9.5/10? I don't want to say anything to him though. He lives in southern California and I don't think anything would come out of messaging him besides a short conversation. Even if he was somehow interested in me, I wouldn't want to start anything romantic. That'd be just messy and complicated, I think.

Lucy told me about her adventures with the guy she's currently dating. Sounds like things are going well.

I'm trying to set up some different Craigslist gigs... one is going well, and the others are eh... But we'll see. Money money!

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Saturday Saturday, almost 3 weeks
Saturday, April 12, 2014
Almost three full weeks since the breakup (it'll be three tomorrow).

I went to some sort of research proposal presentation thing for first year PhD students this morning with a couple friends from class. It wasn't what they expected (they were hoping to find people who needed research assistants so we could get our name on a paper), but it was interesting and informative. One guy wanted to study the effect of microexpression training on therapy efficacy. Another was looking at internet-based interventions and their effectiveness in a therapeutic setting. Things to think about for the future!

I've answered a few Craigslist ads for fun. See if I can make a little spending money... So far so good! Although some of them are kind of sketchy. One said it was a paid study about relationships, but then when I emailed them they said certain tasks might involve taking off clothing. So, uh, don't think I want to do that. Creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy.

Doing karaoke with Lucy tomorrow. Should be fun!

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Different dress! [2P]
Saturday, April 12, 2014
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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Almost the weekend!
Thursday, April 10, 2014
I had a picnic with my friends at school today. It was pretty nice. It's a very pleasant day-- sunny, warm but not hot, slight breeze. I brought sandwiches and cheese crunchies. Everybody liked my sandwiches! That was a relief. I felt like they weren't as good as I hoped they'd be, because Trader Joe's ran out of herb focaccia and I had to use that other bread. Still, they weren't bad. Other people brought fruit and stuff. After eating we played frisbee. I think I'm better at throwing with my left hand and catching with my right... not sure why...

Gotta go to the vet soon for Romeo's medication. His cere is starting to turn brownish again. :\ I guess three weeks between doses is stretching it a little... Besides the color change though, I think he's doing okay?

Ummm what else... Oh! I've lost like four pounds since the breakup. I don't think I've weighed this much since senior year of high school? I seem to recall being around 112 lbs when I was shopping for prom dresses. And hey, I'm going to be shopping for gala dresses tomorrow, so it's... similar! I was telling my friend Vicky about how I didn't know what I wanted to wear anymore and she suggested we go shopping together, so that'll be fun. I hope I can find something more flattering...


Is this the best time of my life? When's it going to start going downhill?

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