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it happened again...this time tho, there aint no second chance. you had it, you blew it. big fucking surprise. I wonder if you even care...I wonder if you even cared. Life is stupid...I love you tho.

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let's face it, we fucked up. All the arguing and fighting and trying to explain our feelings won't change the fact that thing's will never be the same. I'm angry for what you did to me, no one should ever do that to someone they love that much. I feel resentment when I think about the lies...they were stupid and immature. What happened to our trust and honesty. Why couldn't you have told me straight up how yah felt? Why'd you have to lie to me about things. Lastly, I feel betrayed because you did the one thing we always said we'd never do to each other. The one thing I never worried about when it came to you. All these feelings, wow...we fucked up. The unbreakable, broke. The tears pour outta my eyes, all I did was turn my back for a second. Maybe I shoulda turned around quicker, I might have caught you in the act. I might have understood then, I might even have been able to stop it. Maybe someday we'll understand God's reasons for doing this to us, but I don't think we will. What happened to forever baby? :( I love you and miss you...not the current you, but my you.

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I wonder why I'm bothering with Jamie. I mean, he's great...don't get me wrong, but hes the exact oppisite of all the other guys I've ever dated soo, it's weird. Definetely not what I'm used to. Last nite he kinda pissed me off bc we were hanging out and he called this chic and asked her if she'd pick him up. the girls 21, wtfs she doing hanging out with 15 year olds? Hmm...I think shes a pedophile. If she wasn't 30 pounds heavier then me, I woulda beat the shyt outta her. :) well, I'm going to get something for my cold...:)

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I think I'm getting sick again. I have a cold, and my tummy hurts. My nose is stuffy too...I think I'm sick.

Haha, every time I sit with Tyler on the bus, we always have such interesting conversations. Sometimes I forget he's a 7th grader bc hes so damn tall too. I love him! :)

Today was the last day of the marking peirod. *tear* I'm going to miss my old classes and my old routine. Blah, it sucks... but, atleast next marking peirod I have American Cultures and Lunch with Jamie all year sooo...:) I'll still have lunch with him. Yayers!

Wow, I was talking to Ash's ex boyfriend..heh, Dale...and woah, I found out hes having a baby. [Not him but his gf.:p] He's going to be a horibble dad, but hey...the girl will find out the hard way I suppose. Dale's a dick.

Tonite I went and hung out with Tia and Zack for like 2 hrs. It was definetely interesting. Never a dull moment with those two. They kept trying to get me to go with them to Philly...*sighers* I wanted to go but said no...because I know that going isn't exacatly in my best interest.

Well, I'll write more when I'm not so tired, now, I'm heading to bed.

-I love Jamie!-

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Your wings are BROKEN and tattered. You are
an angelic spirit who has fallen from grace for
one reason or another - possibly, you made one
tragic mistake that cost you everything. Or
maybe you were blamed for a crime you didn't
commit. In any case, you are faithless and
joyless. You find no happiness, love, or
acceptance in your love or in yourself. Most
days are a burden and you wonder when the
hurting will end. Sweet, beautiful and
sorrowful, you paint a tragic and touching
picture. You are the one that few understand.
Those that do know you are likely to love you
deeply and wish that they could do something to
ease your pain. You are constantly living in
memories of better times and a better world.
You are hard on yourself and self-critical or
self-loathing. Feeling rejected and unloved,
you are sensitive, caring, deep, and despite
your tainted nature, your soul is
breathtakingly beautiful.

*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
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