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-*Me*-


Manda103
Age. 35
Gender. Female
Ethnicity. Italian/German
Location Gillett, PA
School. Other
» More info.
Me

Me

Me =)

-Me-

Ashley Marie Randall
...November 3, 1985 ~ November 14, 2002...
...yea yea
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My head is spinning
Tuesday. 5.4.04 10:04 pm
and I'm feeling kinda dizzy...things are changing so fast. I can't keep up...so I'm jus going to let myself fall behind I think...

I miss her about as much as I miss Allie...and thats a freaking lot. I jus, idk, sometimes I jus cant help but go over the events of the last few months, see where I went wrong, ponder my mistakes. Everything is jus changing so fast and Im at a loss as to what to do...everything angers me...annoys me, hurts me. I dunno...I jus wish I hadn't fucked things up with one person I really care about..but hey, its me. Miss fuck up. HAH! Life goes on...

I was reading past entries of mine, and I noticed I wrote 'life goes on' alot. Its kinda like my motto to life...as bad as I may hurt at times, life will go on with or without me.

I have failed at everything that were once my goals...I have yet to accomplish a single thing I've wanted to do this year. Like I said...Miss fuck up.

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Stupidity and ignorance never ceases to amaze me..
Friday. 4.30.04 8:59 pm
jus a thing I saw in Lori's info...how true it is...sadly. Life goes on. Some people are born stupid and irgnorant, others jus act it to prove a point, get attention, or be an asshole.

Lately, it seems to me that my patience and tolerance level has gone down. I can't stand anyone anymore...I'm never happy, and when I am, lil things put me in a pissy mood. School really needs to end.

I am so sick of everyones drama, bullshit, and need for sex and drugs. It's all dumb...I dont know why, I jus feel like 'been there, done that...' when it comes to that shit. I mean, I was never really into drugs or anything...but that shit...it doesn't excite me...and it doesn't impress me at all. Everyone needs to grow up and pull there heads out of there asses. Hello, we're in High School. Ten years from now, no ones going to remember the good things you did, they're going to remember the bad things.

"I stand there, in my tall shoes...I feel so small and invisible. I look around, scream, but no one hears me. No one looks up, I'm all alone in this world...jus me and my tall shoes. I wonder if this is a permanent thing, or if Ill eventually stand out"

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jus a thought
Monday. 4.26.04 9:34 pm
no matter how hard you try, there's one person who always comes up in yer dreams, hopes, thoughts, and you can't help but smile...even thru that persons faults...

Even tho he hurt me in a way I never thought he would, he still never ceases to make me smile. I think it's out of pure respect and love for that boy. Even after he fucked me over, ruined one of my best friendships, and hurt me in a way I never thought posibble, he still calls once in awhile and we talk. It's weird, but that really does mean alot to me. Just to call and let me know how he's doing, whats going on in his life, and make sure I'm staying out of trouble. God I love him, not in a relationship type way or anything. I just have a soft spot for him I guess you could say.

Sometimes, it's the simple things that make lifes lil happiness.

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yea yea yea
Friday. 4.23.04 6:12 pm
so updated view of my life...

nothing new...went to the park last nite and hung out with Jackie and met some pretttty hott guys. haha, it was interesting...umm, school is dumb. algebra is starting to get hard for me...sighers, math is really a dumb thing.

yesterday was chelles biiiirfday...happy bappy birthday chelle:)

ooh yes, tuesday Tony went back to NC...theres something about that boy. tia and i have been hanging out alot lately...shes great.

today at lunch steven and andrew were squirting milk and juice at each other. gotta love that steve-o. hes sucha sweety...haha today i asked him why he wasnt sexual about anything and hes like 'theres no one to be sexual with.' verrrry humerous i must say

another day that Jen wasnt in school. greeeat, what is it...2 out of 5 days she made it this week...

what else what else...oooh there isnt anything but I gtg get around. later

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Fuck Troy
Monday. 4.19.04 10:31 pm
and everyone in it...i hate it i hate it i hate it. god I really do. Its places like Troy that make innocent, good kids commit suicide or kill people...fuck Troy.

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today
Sunday. 4.18.04 9:57 pm
was uneventful. Except Matt called me. We talked. Something about him that can still make me smile even tho he ripped my heart to pieces. oh well, he seems to be doing better now soo...it's all good.

tony came down for about an hr today. Hes leaving either tomorrow or Tuesday. I wanna go hang out with Tony tomorrow but, I can't bc my dad will catch me. Fucker.

Well yup. thats about it. Life is dumb, uneventful, and boring. I think I like it.

well, i gotta get off here and call Tia.

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Me

Me and Leanne

* L o V e R s *

Kym and I

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"Eventually all the pieces will fall into place, until then, laugh at the confusion, live for the moment & know that everything happens for a reason..."

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