"It's not like I wanted to be the one holding your hand...I just didn't want her to be holding it."
*to someone: This quote about sums it up. I dont wanna be with you, i jus dont want to see you with ne one else. I miss you tho...I wanna call you and talk to you and jus...make things okay again but, I'm too scared. I'll call you tomorrow nite sooo, make sure your cells on.
*i know you read this every day to check up on me, I know you still care. Please, jus lets talk.

and, to someone else. I don't expect, want, or need a comment on this. I know you will read this tho...so, this is to you. You were one person in this world I felt hadn't fucked me over...who I could trust, love, and who accepted me...and you pretty much stabbed me in the back, gave up on me. You hurt me far worse then ne boy ever could...even yers. I guess this shit happens, but I never expected it. I shoulda known tho. I was no longer around and it wasn't necassairy for you to worry about me or what I was doing. I understand...I really do. Please know that I am eternally grateful for the happiness you brought me while I was a part of your life. I miss you...but, somethings change and somethings aren't fixable.

and this is to my babedoll, I am so glad we're talking again and getting good again because wooah, have I missed you and all the long talks and pouring my heart and sole out...and knowing someone was really listening. You're one of the very best people I've ever had the luxury of meeting and no matter what happens with us, you'll always have a place in my heart. :)

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haha i love sara. her and me always have such greatly stupid times together. i miss having a best friend that i do stupidly dumb things with but, its okay.

we seen craig last nite. havent seen him since he dropped out of school. haha...

kristy told me matt finally left for Texas. Uhh, i really hope he comes back. its not that i wanna see him bc of sex or relationships or ne thing liketh at, i jus...miss matt as a person. he was one of the few guys i could ever have a real conversation with...most guys are jus too immature or sex-brained to...haha

i gotta clean my room

i cant wait fort his year to be over

nothing went the way it was supposed to in my mind...school is dumb, report cards come out soon and my grand in earth and space is an 83ish, im fucked.

algebra is getting harder...american cultures is jus annoying. everyone talks and runs there mouths and i can never concentrate. i mean, dont get me wrong I love kels but...god, she doesnt know when to shut the hell up. her and ciara jenkins...ahh

i have gym now second peirod. theres about 2 girls in my class that i like/talk to. blah, its going to be a long mother fucking marking peirod...then tho, school is out! gotta keep thinking like that.

people change, the person you have the most trust and love for will in the end, choose someone else over you. it sucks

me and my babedoll are talking agian. I'm glad, i really missed her...alot. it seems so unfair teh way this year is going, but...every day is one day closer till its all over.

keep yer chin up...I <3 You

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Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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its hot in here...i wish mr leonard would turn the fucking heat down...its fucking hot...this class sucks major ass balls

I LOVE tyler but hate jacob
^tyler wrote that:-p

yea, yupp

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im tired and bored...and i wanna go to sleep.

uhh, but i have homework to do. yuckers...i hate homework...

wednesday i got a detention...thank you very much derek. it makes me laugh that i get suspended for not even hitting Ryan really, but i only get a detention for punching and swearing at Derek. ooh well...

i finally got my nose ring back in. i think i more or less repierced it bc it would not go...it hurts, its red, and its pussy and bloody. yuck.

Jamie called me today. Ihave no idea what for tho. I hardly talk to him...haha, i thought it was matt. woops :[ that pissed him off...ooh well shit happens.

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whats wrong with me but i seem to be thinking alot about relationships before i get involved. i hate it...uhh

well tonite i was watching celeste in the city. very good movie, shitty ending i think but, you got the point of the movie. it had a good point...:) i liked it.

okay on to the point of my relationship comment, today i was hanging out with Josh and uhh, i jus...i like him...and i dont want that. I dont need a boyfriend right now...not because i dont want one, but because I don't think i really am in the best spirits for a relationship. I dont have the...ambition to try and make things work and all that bullshit. i simply wanna be free.

idk, fuck everything, everyone, and back stabbing, betraying bitches.null

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