I'm still oh so happy with my boyfriend.

My job is still getting suckier and suckier. Get this: this weekend, I was order taker and sam was in back cash. so this guy comes though and pays with a twenty...or so we though. he pulls away before he can get his change, so i bring it up and hand it to amy who gives it to the guy. he said we gave him too much change back, so he gives her back 15 dollars. so she puts it in her drawer, and was like okayyy? so, the guy comes back and says he wants his money back. mal counts sams drawer, and its not over or under soo apparently, the guy got his correct change back.

aurgh, whatever.

shawn picked kym and i up after work and we went to the mall. I got two pairs of jeans, a pair of sweat pants, and a new purse for 60 dollars. ooh and some panties and socks. It was a good day.

I went back to shawns that night, of course, and stayed there with him. I was cranky for some reason...I dunno. it was strange. but now Im better and im not mad at him or anything.

my dad was a real jerk with me last nite; I wanted to kill him. A couple weeks ago, I told my little sister that as soon as I turned 18, i was moving out. my dad mentioned it sunday and i thought i made it quite clear that there was no sense in discussing it since Im not even 17 yet. aurgh...he brought it up again last nite and kept trying to get me to argue with him. then he said i can move out now if I want too, etc etc...seeing as im never home. I dunno...screw it.

I might go see my babyyy tonight. I love him and I cant wait to see him.

kyms going to new jersey this weekend to hang out with her boo. Im excited for herrr. =) im gonna miss her though...

well, I think Im gonna go. school is gay.

hahahaha laterrrr

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What can I say; my life is wonderful.

Last weekend, I worked Sat 6-2, then my boyfriend picked me up. We went to Kyms and hung out and then went to walmart to get my classsssss ring back! YESSSS! That made me so damn happy. Then Shawn and I went to pizza hut and got some dinner, and had a waitress that didnt deserve a tip at all. haha...=p After that, we went back down to his house and hung out until everyone got home. Then we went down to Bucky's garage. Haha, that guy is friggin stupid...but he's so funny about it. We then went back to his house and watched movies and hung out all night since I didnt have to work EARLYYYYYY! I was soooo happy.

Sunday we hung out most of the day...jus talking and being happyyy. Ooh Shawn taught me how to drive standard. I'm not great at it, but atleast I can do it now. =) Haha hes wayyyyy too patient with me. I'd kill me if I was him. Good thing he adores me. =-p Aurgh, then I had to work at 5. That sucked; it was sooooo dead most of the night. I couldn't wait to get out of there and go home. I got out at ten, and came home. I was sooo tired.

I was hoping for no school monday, and I was correct. It was GREAT. Shawn came up and hung out with me, then left to go look at some cars. but then, he came back again! =) We talked so much...I love jus laying there with my head in his lap, staring into his beautiful eyes and telling each other secrets. =) Monday was also our two months! It's crazy. It seems like its been longer, but then it feels like it's just begun.

Yes, the love we share...you should be jealous of it. ;-)

Then tuesdayyyyyyyy...he came up yet AGAINNNNN to see me. I was happy happy. ANNNNNND my dads starting to like him now too. It's so crazy. haha.

Ooh school. Well, the new classes SUCKKKKK! I hate adjusting to new things. It sucks so bad. I have Trig first...which I know is going to be hard so I need to pay attention and stuff...which is impossible seeing as I sit in the back of the class. Aurgh, some fucking sophmore moved my stuff this morning when I specifically put it on a front desk for a reason. Cad 2 isn't bad; the teacher just...throws the stuff at us and expects us to remember it. Which sucks, cause I took it as a freshman. haha...oh well, I'll get through it. English isn't looking too bad. Its alllllll boys except 5 girls. It's crazy. haha...and Dev and Cora had such bad breath yesterday I thought I was gonna die. =p My lunch is okay. Not great. I don't really like alot of people in it but...I'll take what I can get, I suppose. Atleast Amy and Brittany are cool. =) Last peirod is speech. I think thats going to be an interesting...and not very hard class. But I dunno..time will tell. It's cool cause Becky and Natasha are in it...and I haven't really had a chance to talk to those two in awhile.

Last night, I went down to see Shawn. He got stuck working til about 8:30, but I hung around at the garage and talked to bobby and watched shawn. It was interesting...yano? Totally different enviroment then I'm used to. Hell, Shawn's family and everything is interesting bc it's not at all what I'm used to. I like it though...and I'm getting pretty comfortable at his place and with his family...so that's good. =)

Today, I went to Trig til about 9:15, then Shawn picked me up and I hung out with him most of the day. We watched "Butterly Efflect" hahaha...I love youuuuu! =-p We got subway too. It was pretty good. And this lesbian there kept smiling at me. =-/ And shawns ex lovers came in. HAHAHAHAHA jus playing...sorry boo.

So, I've been spoiled like hell this week. So much Shawn! Unfortunately, I have to work tomorrow night which means...no shawn for me. But, saturday...I'll be seeing his pretty face. And I don't have to work until 10 Sundayyy sooo...YAYYY! It's amazing how great we get along. I'm not letting this boy go for anything or anyone in the world.

Hmm...last night, my dad and I were talking about college and stuff. That makes me nervous...but excited also. I'm pretty sure I wanna go into law school...but, it's gonna be hard. I guess it depends on whats going on in my life after my regular college...which I'm not sure what I'm going to major in yet. I dunno. I need to think quick.

Report cards came out. Mine wasn't too shabby. It went something like this.
World Cultures - 94
Algebra 2 - 92
Gym - 94
Ecology - 96

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I should really keep up on this updating thing.

Well, life is going good; still. I have nothing to complain about.

This week was finals week. It wasn't too bad. I got a 100 on my ecology final, a 97 on my world cultures final, a 100 on the world cultures final project, and I dunno about my algebra 2 final. It was hard. I don't think I did too hott, but I did my best and I guess that's what counts...right? Haha...no, my final grade is what counts but oh well.

Ms. Hess also announced she was leaving. AHHH! :( :( She's my favorite teacher in the high school so far. She's so funny and dizty; I'm gonna miss her. When she told us, my eyes got all watery. We had a party wednesday for her...there was so much food and cake and stuff. haha

It was also the last day of the semester. Which means all new classes. It's like the first day of school all over again practically. I hate that shit. =p Im really worried about trig. err..but, I'll do my best.

Work has been okay; we got this new owner so everyones hours have been cut. IT SUCKS! I went from getting 28 hrs a week to like 20. Aurgh, oh well.

Shawn and I are still doing quite excellent. Plans for the weekend? well, not sure about tonight. hopefully hanging out with my love. Then tomorrow I work 6-1? or maybe 6-2? I don't know. Then, hanging out with my lover until I have to work Sunday at 5. =) YAYYYYY=)

I don't really know what else to say...

so later

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Well, I don't know where to start. I can't remember the last time I even wrote in here. It's horibble. I once had so much time to update, and nothing to write about. Now, theres all this stuff to write about...and no time to update. Bummer. My life has been filled with a few things in the last few weeks. Shawn, work, school, Kym, repeat. It's been busy...and it's been fun.

Shawn and I are still doing absolutely amazing. We're really in love. I'm sure of it. We get along sooo well, and we can take each others joking around and stuff. And I absolutely love his family and I love being around him and his family and wow...I dunno. The feelings are really strong. It's a really good things...that's for sure. The other day, I was kinda over-emotional and I said some stuff to Josh who repeated it to Shawn and it caused our first...idk...not fight really, but first...disagreement? I dunno. I was just being really dumb. I'm always really dumb and Shawn's always so good to me. He really treats me so well; he's just genuinely the nicest guy I've ever met. Not only to me, but just everyone. People who know him know what I mean. He's so good to me though; after dating him...I could never date any of the guys I've dated in the past because after being with someone who treats you good...you can't go back to that, yano?

My New Years was good. I went down to my boo's and spent it with him. It was a good time. I love him...

My vacation went all too quickly though. I hung out with Shawn alot...we went to the mall alot. I was dissapointed with the mall because...well, there isn't much there anymore. Aurgh. I also spend alot of time with Kym...and I worked alot. I hung out with Tiff and Jimmy one night, we went to the mall. Then they took me to get my awesome new piercing. I got my trigus pierced. It is so flipping hott...atleast I think so, and that's whats important to me. It hurt sooooo bad; I screamed ALOT. It was a fun night though. When they dropped me off, Jimmy like e-braked into my driveway. it was sooooo scary. Tiff and I were screaming. lol...we're babies. Shawn likes to do that to me too. Just start sliding all over the road or something. I hate it. It scares me.

School has been going again for like two weeks. Erika and I finished our history project. The first time we handed it in, we got a 91...then we fixed it...and got a 99, and then I fixed it again and now we have a 100! That's soooo awesome. I'm so happy. I missed seeing everyone from school over break. When I saw Erika, I gave her a bigggg hug. She's been sick this week so I didnt get to see her until today. I gave her the bigggggggest hug ever. I LOVEEEEE HER.

Last week, Kym and I got out of work really early so we went over and got pizza, then went to Bens and hung out. Andy and I talked for like an hour...it was really nice. There was no pressure, no fighting. Just talking like old friends. It made me think alot...about the things I used to do, and how I used to do things. It makes me kinda sick to think about how bad I was to Justin and Andy. I mean, I did some REALLY shitty things that only a few people know about...and wow, if someone had done that to me...it would have broken my heart.

Speaking of broken hearts...Matt has been calling me lately. I'm not sure what he really wants from me. Like, if he just wants to be friends...that's fine. I told him I had a boyfriend and I didn't want anything to do with him as more then friends...but, he's still calling and stuff so I dunno.

Aww...I saw Lisa at the mall the other day. She's getting so big [pregnant]. It makes me all happy. I really can't wait to have a baby. I think it'd be so awesome...but, I'm still young so I'll wait. But her stomach is sooooo cute. I was like...isn't that cuteeee shawn?! =) haha. he would be an amazing father. I love how he is with his sisters. He's so protective of them and stuff. It's really cute. I'd hate for him to be my older brother though.

I was thinking about how much everyones changed the other day. Friends who were once unsepertable...are now, never together. People who you thought would never date, are now dating. I remember...Jen and I spent every second together. Now, I don't see her. Lindz and I used to talk alot...now I can't really recall the last conversation I had with her. Same with Courtney. And it's strange cause our lockers are right next to each others. We're just always busy doing our own things or going a different way. It's sad.

Finals are tuesday and wednesday. Then thursday and friday we have no school. Then come monday, its the start of a new semester. All new classes = SCARYYYYY!

My schedule is looking like this:
- Trig
- Cad II
- English
- Speech
...aurgh, not thrilled but...what, only 18 weeks of that shit and then schools out? I can't wait...I really can't.

Something I've been thinking about. I've been saving crazy money to get my own car...and I could pry have a piece of crap one right now if I wanted too...but, I think I might just pay to have the 'vette put on the road for summer. Come fall, I should have made enough money this summer to have got another vehicle to put on the road. I ran it by my dad and he said that it's a posibility so who knows...=) I'm thinking about getting a second job and only working mcdonalds on the weekends and working somewhere else during the week. I guess time will tell. =)

I told my dad last week that next Christmas might be my last Christmas at home. Omg...he got all whiny and sad. I was like...shut up. But...that's how fast time is going by. It's amazing. It scares the hell out of me too, because I'm not sure what I wanna do with the rest of my life. Blah...time will tell, I suppose.

well, I'm out. Peace

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its been a week or so since I've updated in a non-private entry.

My life has been treating me good. Everything seems to be going in my favor.

Progress reports were last week; I am doing awesome in all my classes. The only thing I'm worried about is my world cultures project, but I have hopes to get that finished during vacay. I probably won't but, I want to.

My relationship with Mr. Shawn Gowin? AMAZING. There is nothing that boy doesn't do. He's awesome...just, great. I feel something with him that I don't recall ever feeling in past relationship's...so who knows. I have high hopes though. He's nothing but great...just...wow. I can't even describe it. And he's so down to earth and doesn't tell me what to do...you know? He gives me just enough space to hang myself...it's weird. It used to be I'd fight for that leway with a guy, but here I have it...and I don't want it. I have no need...I am happy. and it's awesome.

My Christmas? Not bad. I've never been much of a materialistic girl, which is good cause I didn't get much for Christmas from the parents, but I'm not really worried about it. I got an awesome digital camera and some shoes and a few things I picked out. My dad made me sad today cause he was complaining about how much harder it is to buy for us kids then when we were younger. Then he's like..."If Ash was still here, I might have a grandkid to buy for..." That stuff makes me sad. The holidays are already like...lonely enough without him reminding me. Ash, Allie, and I used to do everything together around Christmas. I can hardly believe this is the 4th Christmas without Ash and the 3rd without Allie...or something like that. It makes me really sad. I'm thinking about going to see Allie, but I dunno if I can really handle it.

Shawn's sister Des, she reminds me alot of Allie. It makes me kinda sadddd...but at the same time, I love herrrr to pieces. She's so sweet.

A few people have been talking smack and getting involved in stuff that's not there business; Shawns and my relationship would be one of them. It's NO ONES place to try and say how I feel or whatever. He knows how I feel about him, and I know how he feels about me...and that's all that matters. Soo...to the people who feel the need to get involved...don't bother...you're waisting your time. I'm not going anywheres.=)

Work has been okay for me...not great, not bad. I kinda got into it last week with this kid Brian, and now I'm just straight up not talking to him. He's kinda immature anyways...and he acts like a total dick if you don't do what he wants, so forget him. I've learned that boys from Elmira don't have anything on country boy's. Like...I dunno. Elmira boys just play too many head games and they aren't real with you. I don't have time for that...

Ooh...Aweb got Kym and I chocolate for Christmas. Isn't that sweet? He's soo sweet. We made him cookies and Kym got him a movie. He's one of the few elmira boys I like. I hate when people try and bully him, it makes me want to kill them.

haha the other day, shawn picked me up from school and we went back to canton, and then up to Elmira. Well, eventually we headed to the mall...I drove. It was SCARYYYYYYY. Everyone was driving all scary and mean and agressive like. I hate that. People need to calm the heck down.

Ooh, Josh and I have been talking again. I'm not sure how I feel about that. Everytime he gets involved in my life, my relationships with guys go to hell. I mean, me and that boy go back...and he'salways been there for me but...I'm not willing to risk what I have with Shawn to hang out with him. That's horibble, but, Shawn is the most important thing in the world to me at the moment.

Well, I've kind of run out of things to talk about. So, I hope everyone has a great and safe holiday.

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Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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