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I didn't do anything Sat. I swear, I didn't. I was going to go to Kym's but that didnt turn out. :( bummer too cause I was really looking forward to chillin' with her. Sat nite tho, I went down to Justins. We rented 'Saw'. That movie was seriously the most fucked up and scary movie ever. Even Justin was skerred. Haha pry not, but whatever. I screamed during one part. We had to turn it off and change the movie cause it was htat scary. Then we watched its a guy thing or something. Of course, I didn't get to see hardly any of that. Thank you verrrrrry much Justin...:-p Hahaha...then we went and played some rumikub and then finished watchng Saw. Mann, it was def. ODDDDDD. I didn't sleep very well sat. nite cause SOMEONE wasn't sleeping where he shoulda been. :-p

haha today, we seriously didn't do anything. lmao...we were soooo lazy all day. We watched some tv, ate, and laid in bed. oooh wait, we went and picked up this car dave bought. He let me drive his explorer home. OMG...it was the great. I love it. He told me if I marry Justin, I could have it. haha I'll get right on that. but damn, his explorer is reallly nice. Sorry Joshy.:-pbut his is...newer, and cleaner...and not beat up! haha...

yea, then at like 5, Justin and I took a nap and drooled on each other and stuff but it was nice. god i love him...

too bad I'm exhausted as hellllllll. Blaaaah...I'm so tired.

This Sat is the Sophmore Hop/Freshman Formal or whatever. I might go if Justin's not working and if people I like go. It's also our 9 months so I think that'd be cool and all...and if I get a dress. I can hardly believe that we've been together 9 months. It's crazy. It's flown by...it feels like jus yesterday we were jus friends and we'd stay up all night watching movies and fucking around. Wow...thing's have really changed. I can't believe I'm so seriously crazy about him. it blows me away, it really does. He blows me away...

Anyways, I think this week I might go pay for the rest of my prom dress and stuff so I can get it hemmed and tightened and stuff. Woohoo, Im excited about prom but nervous at the same time cause it's not MY prom and i dont KNOW anyone and Justin's jus so cute...and I love him.

and im going to go cause im exhaustedddddddd

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TEN Random Things About Me:
10. I love country music...absolutely love it
09. I wear hoop earrings in my ears usually...and hardly ever change them unless I lose one
08. my industrial piercing smells...its kinda gross but funny cause Justin's always like..."EWW"
07. I don't skip school for the most part...I guess I don't see much sense in it.
06. I worry alot about my grades and my future, mainly bc I dunno what I wanna do with my life anymore
05. I hate any kind of seafood and most cooked vegetables
04. I have no regrets...
03. I have a very distinctive laugh and its a very appreciative laugh in my opinion.
02. I am a horrible driver. Its so sad...I really suck at it and am so scared to drive too
01. I don't do drugs or drink alcohol really.

NINE People I'd like to visit with:
09. Justin
08. Allie
07. Kym
06. Josh
05. Matt
04. My g-pa K [not allowed to see cause of my dad..>:O]
03. My Aunt Connie [not allowed ^>:O]
02. My cousin Jay
01. Aunt Betty/Uncle Bob

EIGHT Things I want to do before I die:
08. sky diving
07. get married
06. grad. college...hell even high school
05. scuba diving
04. see my parents be buried [bc I don't wanna die young...not cause I want them dead...]
03. make peace with everyone I don't get along with?
02. have one of those romantic moments like you see in movies [ex: the notebook when they're in the rain and its pouring and he's like 'it wasn't over for me...IT still isn't!']
01. have kids

SEVEN Ways to win my heart:
07. make me laugh
06. trust...make me trust you and don't do anything to change that
05. be patient with me...
04. being the type of person who doesn't care what other people think of them
03. caring...don't be self-centered. Put ME first...
02. brains...be able to have a real conversation with me...
01. and lastly, don't change the subject when I'm trying to have a conversation with you...

SIX Things I believe in:
06. Don't wait to do things...you could die tomorrow
05. equal rights. I hate sexist people. It pisses me off so bad and puts me in sucha fowl mood.
04. doing what makes yourself happy even if it means hurting someone else...its your life and you have to live with the decisions you make
03. a 'nigger' or 'nigga' if you may, isn't a black person. It's an asshole, a stubborn person, a dick even. If I call you a nigger, its not bc I'm racist, its bc you're acting like one...in my opinion
02. sometimes, you have to forgive people and let go of pain and anger to better yourself
01. If you're with someone and you doubt for even one second that he/she isn't the one for you...then, they're pry not. :-/

FIVE Things I'm afraid of:
05. dying
04. my future
03. my past
02. disappointing people
01. being alone

FOUR of my Favorite Items in my bedroom:
04. my computer
03. my bed
02. my bag full of old letters, poems, pictures...stuff from the past
01. my growing shoe collection

THREE Things I do everyday:
03. shower
02. sleep
01. eat

TWO Things I am trying not to do right now:
02. think about how bored I am
01. be upset

ONE Person I want to see right now:
01. Justin
 

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Wow, today was pretty hilarous. First pd pretty much sucked cause we have these speeches to do. I'm doing mine on teenage car accidents and dying. It scares the shit out of me reading some of that stuff but...I'll deal.

Spanish sucked today too. I dunno why; I didnt talk as much as I'd like to have. haha...
Then during web design, thats when the fun shit started. We had a sub and Natalie and I were kinda taking advantage of him by being loud and laughing and doign whatever we wanted. Lol...he kicked us out. Hes like..."Why dont you two go take a break..." Natalies like WHAT? WHYY? and I'm jus putting my boots back on. Hes like...you're hyped up, go take a walk. If anyone has a problem, send them to me. lol...we walked around and were REALLLLY HYPER. Then we came back for directed and he tells me to leave so then Natlie comes out too. We were all laughing and stuff but then we calmed down and went back to class. Lol...we were laughing soooo hard over NOTHING. We had like...tears running down our face from jus laughing. Wow I love that girl...haha she cracks me up.

Last pd sucks as always. I don't like that class but, atleast we got to do a lab today. It always makes things more interesting and less boring...

Tonight I got home and Joshy called and asked if I wanted to chill for a little bit so we went and played tennis and then he told me he was leaving next week...maybe the begining of the week after. OMG...it killed me. I don't want him to leaveeeeeee. Esp. during the summer. I cried. ALOT. I guess hes going down to live with Tony or whatever cause they're working construction this summer. I wanted to tell him not to go and to stay here but I couldn't. I know it's not my place to. But god damn...anyways, I'm going to miss yah like you would not believe. You'd better not ever forget your punkin! =)

now, I wait for my boyyyyfriend to get home from work and hollla at me! :-p I hate waiting...

Here's a quiz I found.

A - Age you got your first kiss: 5...but it doesn't really count.
B - Band listening to right now: Britney Spears:-[
C - Crush: Justin Moood
D- dads name: Ron
E- easiest person to talk to: Tiffany or Joshy
F - Favorite bands at the moment: 3 Doors Down
G - Gummy worms or gummy bears?: gummy worms
H - Hometown: Gillett
I - Instruments: None...:-p
J- Junior High: Troy?
K - Kids: I'd like to have a couple...two...with Justin
L - Longest car ride ever: idk
M - Mom's name: Kristen
N - Nicknames: Manda, Mandy Lou, Punkin, Lovey, Teddy, etc
O - One wish: to not be another statistic...
P - Phobia: I dont actually know if its a name or not...but I have real issues with eating...like food thats not what Im used to...?
Q - Quote: "Everything's alright in the end, if it's not alright, it's not the end."
R - Reason to smile: My booo
S - Song you sang last: Summer of '69...woohoo
T - Time you woke up [today]: my alarm went off at 6 but, I didnt get up till about 6:40
U - Unknown fact about me: I'm not nearly as strong or as tough contrary to how I act or what people think
V - Vegetable you hate: anything cooked...I hate cooked vegtables...except corn...YUMMMM
W - Worst habit(s): Changing to try and make people happy even tho it's not who I am?
X - X-rays you've had: ummers...only on my teefers
Y - Yummy food: spaghattiiiii
Z - Zodiac sign: Pisces

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so Friday night, I went to the mall with Tiff and we looked around some but i was soooo exhausted. lol...it was horibble. Then we went to subway and got food. Went back to Tiffs; ate, watched some tv, listened to musc, made plans with Justin, then passed out for the night.

saturday, I woke up early but Tiff was still asleep so I went pee and then back to bed for EVER it felt like. Everyone was still sleeping so i jus laid there and listened to music. finally at like nine she was half-awake and then Justin called to let me know what was up for the day. I got a shower and did my hair and stuff, then made breakfast. - Eggs and toast. Yummers, I make great eggs. For real. then Justin showed up and we chilled at Tiffs for about an hr? Haha...Justin kept tickiling meee:-x

after we left Tiffs, we headed to Binghamton to see Justins cousin Mike. He was pretty cool. When we first got there, no one was there. We like chilled on the porch for about 45 minutes atleast. haha...sat was actually alot of fun. We didnt really do much at all either? Mostly drove around and went to car places! haha...I didnt mind it too much surprisingly. His cousin Mike has this fucking awesome truck. Its REALLLY hottt...and he also has a pretty nice car? whats it called? a dart. the darts okay but I REAAAAAAALLLLY like the truck. But yea, we got wendys, went and played pool...and then Justin and I headed back to his house. We went to K-mart too adn I got a new curling iron and then to tops. Holy shit, it was pouring sooo hard. It was scarry. and it was lightining too. I love lighting but I hate being in the car when its raining. Its scary. Once we got to Leroyish? this car kept following us. Like...after 3 times of turning onto odd roads, Justin and I were a little freaked out. I was worried we were going to get home late and have his dad bitch him out, but we got home about 11:15 so we were okay. The rest of the night...?

Sunday we didnt do much at all. Jus put these doors on his car. Holy shit, it took forever and it was freezing. then we hung out for a few hrs before I had to be home. Played some pool at Charlies, then went to my house and hung out.

It was alot of fun. I was realllllly nervous about what this weekend was going to bring but Justin and I talked about stuff. I think everythings going to be okay? =) I sure hope so. I cant imagine life without him.

I think I'm going to go though; I LOVE YOU!

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tonite Justin came up. yayyy...and he bought me roses. They're pretttty. God I jus love him. He said somethings to me tonight tho that really bothered me. I probably shouldnt let them bother me because I agreed and said the same things but...still. It scares me. I jus wanted to cry after he said it. I got really quiet the rest of the night. I dunno. i wanted to discuss it further with him but wasn't sure I'd like the outcome of the conversation.

aww well. What can yah do? Justins working tomororw and friday and maybe sat. I dunno what I'm doing this weekend yet tho. I know Justin wants to hang out sunday but idk if I will be allowed.

aww well...shit happens I guess. We'll see.

i think I might read my story tomorrow during English? I dunno, I'm a little scared.

but whatever.

I'm going to wait for Justin to get on.

Love YOU

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