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Speak to My Finger
Books I have completed reading since January 2021:

1. The Enchanted - Rene Denfield
Blade grass
Sunday. 9.2.12 5:57 am
Christmas is coming aye?

Is anyone interested to have some exotic bird on the Christmas dinner table?

My neighbour's macaw has been 'singing' for several days, and that has been absurd annoying for a week.

I cannot hide my irritation but I also pitied it as the owner is often nowhere to be seen. My best bet is the poor macaw is trying to get some attention. I am pretty sure the owners were out for a week.

And you know what? The occupants could hear its calling from the car park. Bear in mind, I live on 13th floor.

Poor bird... Its calling is now reduced to a screeching sound. Hope the owner comes back soon otherwise I would report for animal cruelty.


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It's here!
Friday, August 31, 2012
I was asked by a friend recently to help out to build a scenario on an emergency medical case along with others.

I was expecting to have blood all over me, but instead I was given a very simple script: bruised arm. Fine. I was disappointed, but I have to be professional because I have to remember that I was just helping out. So I sat at a corner of the room pondering on how I should act my part. Then, a friend, who was sitting beside me, requested me to exchange my role with another friend who is new to such acting. And I got ... hyperventilating...

Yay, that's gonna be fun. Right.

I was later briefed by my friend, and found out the reason to the hyperventilation. In summary, I saw all my friends either injured or dead in an explosion.

HAHA. And so ... I went into a panic attack mode and hyperventilated.

Interesting. So what I do?

I have to be in hysteria mode. I have played crying, angry, sleepy roles before but never a screaming one. I was conscious about my voice. Ain't I vain?

Indirectly, I was given the role to start the scene. The arrival of medical doctors was my indication...

And so I screamed.... twice. I never knew I could scream so loud that some of my friends who were playing dead had their eyes wide open instead of shutting. They feedback that my scream sent a chill to their spine.

Ouch. Did I take my role too seriously? Oh no, I don't wanna get another either screaming or crying script. I had sore throat the whole day after that scream. Luckily, I'm used to acting being breathless, so my breathing was back into rhythm after hyperventilating.

My sister was thrilled to have a broken tibia, because she got fake blood covering her leg.

Ugh... I wanna play dead next time.

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Saturday. 8.25.12 12:41 pm
I was in a group meditation recently. The facilitator mentioned that we could either communicate with our inner self or send white light during the guided meditation, and I decided to do a stillness one.

As I was slipping into the stillness, my subconcious sent white light to someone who I miss dearly, and was surprise to hear her messages intended for this person. It was said by a sad voice.

I knew this person would have receive my white light, but I wonder about the message. I should have asked the facilitator.....

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me no expandable!
Thursday. 8.23.12 11:46 am
wah lau!

my friend texted me at 3am asking me if i wanna watch the expandables 2....

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secret sniff
Tuesday. 8.21.12 11:19 am
I heard my sister sobbing quietly during her prayers.

And I wanted to say out loud that who had said that crying is only for weak and stupid people?

Crying is a means to let go whatever is caught in our chest. It is never meant a weak sign. Crying happens when there are no words to describe the pain.

I remember crying everyday during my hard time a few years back, not mentioning it was filled with unsavoury toppings: family criticism and emotional abuse.

At least my sister was never chastised or referred to names that erode anyone's self-esteem by mother. She never undergone what I gone through. The emotional abuse I went through was the worst time of my life. Mother said that she regretted for sending me abroad over and over for nine months without thinking of my emotional welfare at that time. I was already retrenched, and luckily a friend introduced me to a temporary job even before I was laid. I was grateful, but not my mum. With financial crisis looming over me, my mum not supported me but torture me emotionally just because she has no where to vent her anger causedby father.

I do not think my mum knew that I heard her unsaid sentence. There was one time we were in a heated argument due to my job, and as usual calling me names and elaborating how useless I were for drying up the family's savings. In short, it was a wasted investment on me, that was what I feel as sister as usual is the apple of my parents. But mother bit her tongue in mid sentence "I regret" and my clairaudience gift picked up the unsaid: giving birth to you. She regretted in giving birth to me.

Right. Looking at my sister's current unemployment situation, hers is not worse than mine. Though mum disapproved of her being in the sales line, mum spared her those names calling that drove me further into depression.

If sister was not mean to me, I would have offered words of encouragement and support to her.

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Monday, August 20, 2012
renaye just finished her tenth book for the year. It's called Switched by Amanda Hocking.

The reviews were good saying this book is a real page-turner. However, to me, the real queen of page-turner will still reign by Lisa Jane Smith. I just like how fluidity LJS stories are. My definition for page-turner is transporting the reader to the world created by writer through words, and the reader cannot stop reading...

Switched is no doubt a page-turner but I turned the page so fast because I want to know what is happening next without absorbing the words totally.

This is the stark contrast.

Nevertheless, I will still continue reading the Tyrelle trilogy though I'm not a fan. I have 7 more books to beat my highest record in 2010.

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