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Speak to My Finger
Meowing WAR





Books
Books I have completed reading since January 2016:

1. The magician's land - Lev Grossman
2. The Rest Falls Away - Colleen Gleason
3. Wither - Lauren Destefano
4. Fever - Lauren Destefano
5. Sever - Lauren Destefano
6. High Stakes - Dick Francis
7. Kau kata dadaku adalah sebuah sajak - Finn Anuar
glare
Sunday. 7.8.12 10:56 am
Glare.

That what was I did to the neurologist after he said directly "let's wait for more symptoms to show up before I put you on any test, because I can "guarantee" you that any tests will show you negative on any illnesses."

"Oh despite having mild headaches and twitches everyday? And oh yea the twitches disturbed my sleep. It is nothing?"

Glare.

"That is not assuring at all."

Glare.

"Ok. To give you a peace of mind let's put you through some test."

Sounds better, but I lose confidence in you, jerk. Lesson is even though you have my best interest, please make sure your words can instill confidence in me that I do not need any test at present. And do not think I am stupid. The reason why I was not suggested all those jargon test because of my insurance policy.

This doctor trying to be honest with me, right? Hmm.. Looking for ways to change specialist.

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RIP
Thursday. 7.5.12 11:31 pm
don't worry, i'm not dead yet.

I only wish to be able to rest in peace with no whatsoever disturbance. Ah. I will be home alone soon. Some good advertisement.

I will be seeing a neurologist tomorrow. I am quite afraid to know the diagnosis. My twitches have spread to my right side of the face and my thighs. The most worrying part is the twitches on my left eye. I often feel mildy swell on my left eye. Hitherto I could also feel a tingling sensation at an old injury place on my left jaw.

I spent whole June resting and spent time with myself by doing things that I have always wanted.

Doctor said the twitches could be stress induced, so I rested but it did not go away.

I hope it is nothing serious.

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Seasons of Love
Tuesday, July 3, 2012


I love this song.

Period.

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amok feelings
Saturday. 6.30.12 10:36 am
i know i have been running away from making difficult decisions. i tried to go through the things that i need to decide.

i actually have decided to study masters locally but my fortune says i have to get it abroad. this years is the year for me to get out of the country. a tarot card reader also said i must get it abroad. if not, i will be dreadfully stress.

i really want to make decisions not based on the tarot cards results, but it is my higher self telling me things that i have blinded myself to.

i think i know why i will be strssed to the max should i persist locally. i first have to deal with my sister whom we have not spoken to each other for coming 7 years. and i will be extremely stress when my dad comes back for good. and not forgetting how my mother has and still driving me to nuts.

so much stress, so much unhappiness, so much sadness.

i can feel the anguish inside me. i can feel the stress building inside me and i dont know how to overcome my current life plateau.

never ending frustration is eating me inside out. if only i could talk to someone who has been in my shoes and has overcome it for i would like to seek advise.

even if i dont study abroad, i would still need to stay outside of my family to be sane.

as i am typing this, i could hear weeping sound and frustration coming from inside me.
i dont think i have been smiling or laughing as much as i did before. nor have i been spending time with myself.

i need to remind myself that the storm will pass. how did i stay sane for all these years?

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Fire drill
Friday. 6.29.12 1:22 am
I don't wish to be evil however looking at my colleagues. I just wanna be evil for a day.

There was a fire drill recently and many of us were informed via word of mouth. Therefore, the drill came as no surprise.

When the alarm rang, many colleagues took the liberty to ponder if they should walk out now or simply waiting for their friends to walk together.

I was informed by a colleague in the morning. As much as I hated it due to the workload I had for the day, I was the first one from my floor to walk out of the building.

At first, we could not discern the alarm sound as there is construction in front of my office. It took us a while to hear it was alarm.

I was the first one to note to everyone in the office, and you know what? All of them looked at me blankly. One even replied "So?"

Without further ado, I grabbed my two handphone sets, umbrella and sunglasses before walking out in 3 minutes.

My colleagues were still busy doing their work. The newcomer said the darndest thing "Oh... alarm rang, what should I do?"

I laughed and just walked out.

I had watched a video before where a two-storey building was burnt to the ground in 3 minutes. And everyone took more than 5 minutes to walk out.

Everyone is gonna be baked. I don't think that suits god's appetite.

The best thing I discovered was my superior didn't even participate in the fire drill. He was in his room all along.

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magick
Wednesday. 6.27.12 9:54 am
True love is the most powerful magick. It creates happiness.

That is what snow white's stepmum said.

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