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Speak to My Finger
Meowing WAR





Books
Books I have completed reading since January 2016:

1. The magician's land - Lev Grossman
2. The Rest Falls Away - Colleen Gleason
3. Wither - Lauren Destefano
4. Fever - Lauren Destefano
5. Sever - Lauren Destefano
6. High Stakes - Dick Francis
7. Kau kata dadaku adalah sebuah sajak - Finn Anuar
pre-birthday
Monday. 9.17.12 9:24 am
My family just got intona fight. Mother was screaming at sister who was showing tantrums. And then pulled me into the fight just because I did not was her dinner bowl.

Mother was screaming that there is never a day she is not worried about sister and how she works dilligently to assist her in getting sales.

Right. I do not really care who my mother cares the most, because everyone in the family is so unhappy that we are together in this simply because we are pooling our financial resources to survive. We will surely leave each other once we are financially able.

I no longer have a family to begin with. I ceased talking to sister except those squabbling and father.

I feel like an orphan actually.

Like what I read recently. What if those people who commit suicide realised that this life is not worth fighting for? You can say it is worth, but I sometimes do not feel it. I feel stuck in this vicious cycle.

Maybe that is also like what my friend said, I have birth trauma. It means I did not want to reborn in the first place due to past live trauma. Do not know how true it is... Do I often feel like returning to somewhere?

Does feeling want to disappear count? Because I always want to disappear, but just have not found the right plave and time to do so.

I should not even write such morbid post on my birthday, but this is life unfortunately. I am seriously thinking of disappearing. There is no point of dwelling in such situation. I may choose to escape those situation is because all solutions are not practical to my family.

I may not want to born into this family because I may have already known the life of this writer.

Anyways, happy birthday to myself, kid.

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birthday for the trio
Sunday. 9.16.12 9:28 am
Mizutama came to KL for the weekend and we decided to catch up with another friend in a shopping mall in Bukit Bintang.

Since our friend came late, I jokingly punished him to buy us desserts for our birthdays, which happened to be around three weeks away from each other. So we decided to try out Mango chacha, which specialised in mango dishes.

I know his birthday is just a few days after mine, and I sarcastically thanked him for my advance birthday present.

In response, he replied "Yealo, so who will buy birthday present for me?"

In a zap, I replied "You buy for yourself la! There... You bought that dessert for yourself."

We laughed so loud that I was throwing my head backward.



Mine is the center, mizutama's left and our generous payer the right.

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The car
Friday, September 14, 2012
The most frightening event for this week was my sister's car got broken into. It happened on a Monday's afternoon.

My mother was on a half day medical leave, so she retired home at 2 pm-ish. A neighbour spotted a guy sitting in the car between 4.30 pm and 6 pm.

Apparently, this guy was breaking into a neighbour's house but got busted by another neighbour, so he was forced to abandon his activity.

This neighbour reported to the security guard and together they walked towards the car which he was trying to flee with. The neighbour saw him moving the steering wheel, but it was unsuccessful, so he fled once he saw them approaching nearer.

The security guard wanted to clamp the car because he thought it belongs to the perpetrator. They searched the car for any signs belong to him, and they found my sister's outdated name card. Hence they contacted my sister in the evening.

As my sister was away for a meeting, my mum received the news from my sister who was not telling the story in order, making me frustrated the whole night, as I was lazy to check out on the car, but I do not want mother to go out alone. So I followed.

The three of us approached the guard house and were told the whole story. My sister and mother were horrified, and my mother was cursing the perpetrator the whole night for attempting to steal the car.

Among the three, I was the most alert and calm, because my sister was not thinking clearly due to the sudden shock and my mother was swallowed with her curses and bitterness for that asshole.

I said we should make a police report regardless they want to help or not. However, received mixed feedback.

Later, we bumped into three trucks of policemen ferrying illegals. They stopped and checked out thr car. The sarjan advised to make a report for car theft attempt, which we did.

It was my first time wearing shorts out of my home in years, and I felt awkward in the police station.

We were there at 11 pm, and I was bores. The discovery channel did not save me because simply I was exhausted. Luckily, my boredom was distracted by a father, daughter and a young gentleman.

The trio entered with a policeman without uniform. The girl has obvious spent the day crying... While the gentlemam was busy writing the report. The policemzn kept asking the girl if she was married. The father did not look like her father bit.

I became curious. I kept eavedropping the whole night but could not get any info!

How I failed at being a spy. :-(

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Hantu air
Friday, September 7, 2012
My first birthday gift is a movie ticket to a local horror film called hantu air. It is known as water spirit in English.

There was a line said 'a comedy horror'. I breathed in relief. But not until the movie started.

Hmm. Liar? There were scenes that were horrifying! I shut my eyes at certain scenes. The spirit's makeup was ugly. I think simple makeup is enough to scare the audience.

My friend who bought me the ticket seemed to be enjoying the show; he was laughing at the horror scenes! :-(

Anyways, one tick on my birthday wishlist. :-)

P.S: Actually watching horror movie is one of the things that I wanna do for my birthday. By not watching some horror scenes, I am able to not attract their presence. I know the trade already...

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Blade grass
Sunday. 9.2.12 5:57 am
Christmas is coming aye?

Is anyone interested to have some exotic bird on the Christmas dinner table?

My neighbour's macaw has been 'singing' for several days, and that has been absurd annoying for a week.

I cannot hide my irritation but I also pitied it as the owner is often nowhere to be seen. My best bet is the poor macaw is trying to get some attention. I am pretty sure the owners were out for a week.

And you know what? The occupants could hear its calling from the car park. Bear in mind, I live on 13th floor.

Poor bird... Its calling is now reduced to a screeching sound. Hope the owner comes back soon otherwise I would report for animal cruelty.


<

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It's here!
Friday, August 31, 2012
I was asked by a friend recently to help out to build a scenario on an emergency medical case along with others.

I was expecting to have blood all over me, but instead I was given a very simple script: bruised arm. Fine. I was disappointed, but I have to be professional because I have to remember that I was just helping out. So I sat at a corner of the room pondering on how I should act my part. Then, a friend, who was sitting beside me, requested me to exchange my role with another friend who is new to such acting. And I got ... hyperventilating...

Yay, that's gonna be fun. Right.

I was later briefed by my friend, and found out the reason to the hyperventilation. In summary, I saw all my friends either injured or dead in an explosion.

HAHA. And so ... I went into a panic attack mode and hyperventilated.

Interesting. So what I do?

I have to be in hysteria mode. I have played crying, angry, sleepy roles before but never a screaming one. I was conscious about my voice. Ain't I vain?

Indirectly, I was given the role to start the scene. The arrival of medical doctors was my indication...

And so I screamed.... twice. I never knew I could scream so loud that some of my friends who were playing dead had their eyes wide open instead of shutting. They feedback that my scream sent a chill to their spine.

Ouch. Did I take my role too seriously? Oh no, I don't wanna get another either screaming or crying script. I had sore throat the whole day after that scream. Luckily, I'm used to acting being breathless, so my breathing was back into rhythm after hyperventilating.

My sister was thrilled to have a broken tibia, because she got fake blood covering her leg.

Ugh... I wanna play dead next time.

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